"We're here!"
Giving up on sleep and tossing around, the members returned relatively early and in relatively good condition. It seemed they just showed their faces for the sake of etiquette, only spending an hour or two.
But one seat was empty.
"Where's Kang Ichae?"
Kang Ichae was nowhere to be seen.
"Um, Ichae is at the company. He said he's working."
Considering his usual personality, he would have either suggested going out with the members first or stayed in his room playing games.
"Well, okay then."
I knew I couldn't leave Kang Ichae like this, but touching upon it now might just exacerbate things unnecessarily, so I decided to postpone addressing the issue until later.
After bidding farewell to the tired-looking members, I returned to my room.
In the end, I spent the night alone in bed. I rose from my bed in the late afternoon, rubbing my tired eyes, got ready, and headed outside.
The place I arrived at was a restaurant known for its clean Korean cuisine. Guided to a private room I had reserved over the phone, I waited for my companion while flipping through the menu absentmindedly.
A little while later, the sliding door opened forcefully.
"Hyung!"
"...Whoa, you startled me."
I wondered where he picked up such habits as I looked at Seo Hojin, who raised his eyebrows and approached.
"Why haven't you been answering your phone?"
But despite his expression and tone of voice, his words were cautious.
"Because I didn't feel like it."
"...."
At my indifferent response, Seo Hojin's gaze flickered over me.
Ignoring him, I pressed the call button and ordered the meal from the waiter.
Seo Hojin's boiling temper seemed to subside at my nonchalant demeanor.
"...Alright, what's the point of arguing about that anyway. Hang in there, Hojin. You're doing well, Hojin. You're the best."
"That thing? Are you going to argue about that?"
Just as I was about to tell him to wait until we were done eating, Jaedoon, who had been murmuring while looking at Kang Ichae, interjected, overlapping with Seo Hojin.
Without saying anything more, I just took my seat at the front, with raised eyebrows.
"But he's not here now."
Although I thought I should console him when we met later, seeing him speak well and even grumble made me feel relieved.
He has some leeway, after all.
"Hyung, um, you know…"
"Let's eat first."
Just then, the waiter came in and laid out a table full of food.
As I picked up my spoon and was about to cut him off, Seo Hojin hesitated for a moment, then sighed and grabbed his chopsticks.
He still made a snide remark, but he ate one side dish with determination.
"Is it good?"
"...It's alright."
As he swallowed a spoonful of soup and cleared his plate, I watched him silently until he emptied his bowl, then asked.
"Are you still feeling sick?"
"Would I know if you looked at me? I'm all better now."
He seemed particularly sharp today, even though he had passed adolescence. He lifted a side dish with his chopsticks, but suddenly noticed a shopping bag in the corner of his vision.
I realized he had actually brought a bouquet of flowers when I saw the rising leaves and petals.
'Did he really bring one?'
Where would you find a guy in his prime in his twenties who would actually buy one just because his older brother asked?
Feeling amused yet also perplexed, I scratched my head.
I wondered when to tease him, and suddenly remembered receiving such a gift from Seo Hojin in the past.
Back then, there was also a letter accompanying the flowers.
He had tucked a few petals into the letter. Where did I put it?
'Is this filial piety?'
Seo Hojin had such a tendency.
He couldn't distinguish well between what happens between parents and children and what is appropriate behavior among siblings.
Thinking about it, I worried that he might start doing unnecessary things, like receiving carnations, tissue paper, or money bouquets, all in the name of filial piety. But now, Seo Hojin, who had been sipping his soup, slammed his bowl onto the table.
"We're done eating, so let's talk."
"Oh, sure."
Even without looking, it was obvious what he wanted to talk about.
It must be about the leak.
"Are you okay?"
Since I had initiated it, it must have been fine.
Even if he knew my personality, he wouldn't have thought I'd go this far.
"Of course."
Despite my reply, the concern didn't disappear from Seo Hojin's eyes as he looked at me.
"Are you really okay? You promised not to talk about Hyung outside, are you keeping that promise?"
Seo Hojin nodded slowly without saying a word.
"That's a relief. Keep doing what you're doing."
In this industry, even if you keep things hidden, there's ultimately no such thing as privacy.
Even though people might sympathize with you now, you never know when that sympathy might turn into a sharp criticism.
Besides, there was no need to label Seo Hojin, who was doing well attending a good university and living a healthy life, as an orphan.
I just hoped he could live ordinary days. Today, tomorrow, just the same.
'This should be enough.'
Seo Hojin looked healthy, and he ate well in front of me.
Although the faces of the other members flashed through my mind briefly, I quickly brushed them aside.
It was a good ending, or so I thought, trying to reassure myself.
"Was there really nothing wrong?"
Seo Hojin's gaze was suspicious.
"I was perfectly fine."
"Really? Swear to God?"
"This kid is persistent. Why, worried about me?"
I was honestly taken aback by Seo Hojin's persistent behavior, unlike usual. Instead of unnecessary words, I decided to ease his anxiety.
"It's an old story, Hojin."
With a face that truly seemed unaffected.
"It doesn't mean anything anymore."
I even smiled faintly.
Seeing his eyes briefly lower, I raised my glass to my lips.
Now my conscience was trying to bother me out of nowhere. After all, I was the one who dredged up a matter that could have been quietly passed over.
And also, whatever it was that made Seo Hojin wear such an expression.
"Oh, right. Hyung, I got some time off this time."
I had received a little break to prepare for the new album as Season 2 of Shining Star had ended. I thought I might as well go home for a while and live a lazy life.
"We haven't seen our parents in a while, so let's visit them together. And if there's anything you want to do, let's do it together."
I felt a bit awkward speaking so gently to Seo Hojin, who seemed indifferent lately.
"And if you want to do something, I'm here..."
As I continued to speak slowly and smoothly, I was shocked.
Seo Hojin's eyes welled up with tears.
Tears welled up in Seo Hojin's eyes.
"...!!"
Why? Why is he crying?
"Hey, um... why are you crying?"
Normally, I would have teased and laughed, but I was completely caught off guard and asked awkwardly.
Then Seo Hojin glared at me with reddened eyes.
"Hyung, you're really good at lying."
"....!"
I involuntarily recoiled, feeling a pang of anxiety.
I wondered if he had caught on that I was the one who caused the accident involving our parents, and my heart rate increased gradually.
Seo Hojin wiped his eyes with his sleeve.
"Dajuni called me. He said you were acting strange after the leak."
"What?"
"He said you were out of it for a few days after the leak. You lived like a zombie, unable to sleep properly. He even asked if it was okay to leave you like that."
"...."
"He said you pushed yourself too hard whenever you were in pain."
Despite Seo Hojin's probing, the fact that I hadn't been caught leaking information was the first thing that came to mind.
At the same time, despite knowing he acted out of concern, a sense of betrayal towards Jung Dajuni quietly surfaced.
"Why did Jung Dajun call you?"
"Is that important right now?"
Seo Hojin's expression gradually crumbled.
Since problems at work had never affected our family before, I felt a headache thinking about this unprecedented situation.
'It wasn't supposed to lead to taking him home....'
"It's just small talk."
I muttered irritably, rolling my tongue and sighing heavily.
"Don't listen to those words from my colleagues."
"...I don't want to."
He doesn't want to?
We had settled these matters years ago.
But now he says he doesn't want to?
I wanted to say something, but I didn't want to be rude to my crying brother, especially since I was partly to blame.
I summoned all my patience.
"Just listen to me. It's annoying when others interfere."
"I said I don't want to."
Damn it.
"Do you want to die? Why won't you listen?"
Yeah, why act so affectionate now?
"Just ignore anyone who contacts you, and tell them you don't have a brother."
"...Huh."
Seo Hojin turned his head incredulously as if he couldn't believe it.
"Then maybe I should just cut ties altogether?"
My blood pressure rose at Seo Hojin's extreme response.
"Stop being ridiculous. Are you crazy?"
"Why, doesn't that seem like a good idea?"
However, Seo Hojin seemed equally determined.
"Anyway, what's the difference if we cut ties? Even now, I learn about your news through entertainment articles. I know that I receive more texts about tuition fees than messages from you."
Words poured out.
"I rejected it when Dajuni asked if he could visit you just once. I thought you wouldn't like it. But I thought you would eventually tell me."
Seo Hojin, suppressing his emotions, closed his eyes tightly.
"But there was never any contact."
"...."
Taking a deep breath, Seo Hojin, who had been trying to calm down, glanced at me again while rubbing his eyes with his sleeve.
"I've been staring at my phone every time I have free time. Just in case you call."
I could only stand there dumbfounded, taking in my brother's behavior.
"I finally thought a text had come..."
Seo Hojin, failing to calm down, pulled out the bouquet of flowers carefully tucked inside the shopping bag and threw it at me.
"Bang!"
"Ow!"
"There you go. Here's the bouquet that hyung sang about so much."
"....!!"
"Congratulations on first place."
As the bouquet hit me squarely in the face, flower petals fluttered around.
"W-what?"
For the first time in his life, Seo Hojin blurted out, shocked.
Feeling both pain and absurdity, I stood up abruptly.
"What the hell? Did you just hit me?!"
"Yeah, I did. So what? Got a problem?"
"Where did you learn to talk like that?!"
"Where do you think? Who else have I learned from all this time?"
Yeah, he sure has learned to be damn good at unnecessary things, damn it.
I pressed my hand against my forehead, feeling the heat rising.
"I don't want to see your face for a while. Don't come home."
"You crazy bastard, this is my house!"
"I changed the front door password."
"What?!!"
As my blood pressure continued to rise, I grabbed the back of my neck, but Seo Hojin took out his wallet, slammed it on the table, and said,
"I'm leaving. Forget about seeing your face, just contact me once in a while."
"What the hell! Hey! Hey!! Why are you leaving?!"
And then he ran away.
"Hey, Seo Hojin...!!"
My voice couldn't even rise because of the shock.
In my heart, I wanted to drag my brother back right away and have a few good talks with him, but after a heavy sigh, I just collapsed into the chair.
"Wow..., haha, hoho...."
I burst into hollow laughter, unable to believe the sudden turn of events.
"That kid, does he really think we're the same age?"
Did he hit me... Did that brat really...!
"Damn it, I raised that brat wrong. Ah, my blood pressure..."
I flicked the flower petals scattered on the table with my fingers.
As anger faded, only regret remained.
As I picked up the bouquet and put it back in the shopping bag, I pondered Seo Hojin's words.
'I shouldn't have met him.'
"Ah~."
I just wanted to have a hearty meal and see his face for a bit.
It seemed like he was under considerable stress too. Thinking that way, a sigh escaped me involuntarily.
"That kid really inherited my temper..."
Muttering to myself, I gulped down the remaining water in the glass.
Now even regret had sunk to the bottom, and gently, another emotion surfaced.
'He still doesn't know.'
Anyway, Seo Hojin didn't know.
That I was the one who caused the accident.
So even though my brother cried and caused a commotion, there was no worry, remorse, or guilt towards our parents.
'This naive fool.'
Damn it, enough with the relief.
---