Joo Woosung, as if his throat was on fire, lifted the glass I poured for him and downed it in one shot. Then, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he suddenly chuckled.
"I thought I'd seen every sight possible while being here, but someone like you is a first."
Many words seemed to pass through his face, but after a while of just twitching his lips, Joo Woo-sung posed only one question.
"Are you... hurt?"
"I'm fine."
"No, your mental state."
That's what Joo Woo sung said.
It was just a question, but it felt like a fish bone caught in my throat in this situation. I rested my chin on my hand and looked back at him with a crooked head.
"I'm okay."
Joo Woo sung also stared into my eyes with an indiscernible expression. Then, out of nowhere, he brought up something completely unrelated.
"Do you remember when I told you about the mission and the insider during Shining Star Season 1?"
I remembered.
But why bring it up now?
"Back then, you said you owed me one, and if you needed anything, you'd let me know. Do you remember that?"
"...When was that exactly?"
"Do you remember?"
Despite showing signs of annoyance at his annoying behavior, Joo Woo sung asked firmly.
Considering whether to pry further or just give in, I sighed softly and nodded my head.
"I want to use that now."
"What?"
"Just wait."
Then he rummaged through his pocket and pulled out his wallet. Not knowing what he was up to, I just watched.
"Pocket money?"
"Shut up for a moment."
From inside the wallet, Joo Woo sung took out a small piece of paper and handed it to me.
"Here."
I took it, and it turned out to be a small white business card.
It said Department of Mental Health.
"When you have time, visit."
I'm I insane?
He waved the card back and forth.
"It's a very private place, so you don't have to worry about your visits to the hospital leaking out. If you need it, I'll tell you how to get there."
"...Why do you have this card?"
"What are you going to do about it?"
Joo Woo sung drank a sip of his drink, visibly annoyed.
"With the advancements in modern medicine, just go whenever you have time."
"...."
"It's obvious your insides are in turmoil."
...Is this guy really Joo Woo sung?
The guy who was always 2% short until now, where did he go? He's now so sharp.
"Is it okay to consider this as paying off your debt?"
"Sure. I've been saving this just to ruin you, but I'm using it now with a heart as big as the ocean."
"Why save it forever just to use it now?"
"Because I'm so damn cool."
I looked at him with a cold gaze, but Joo Woo sung brushed it off and ran his hand through his hair. It annoyed me.
"Do your members know you blew the lid?"
"They probably don't."
"Yeah, I mean... who would even think that unless they're not in their right mind."
After asking and bursting into a bewildered laughter, he said, "Anyway, be good to your members. They were crying their eyes out. If it were me, I'd be furious, but they're too kind-hearted..."
"Someone must be furious."
"Oh, Ichae."
As I rolled my eyes and took a sip of beer, Joo Woo sung chuckled.
"You should have taken better care of that. I told you, it's a team after all. Do you think you can handle everything on your own? No way, right?"
"...Hmm."
"You'll eventually need help too."
Not wanting to answer, I just tapped on the table and mumbled.
"So, Chae Jungwoo is your only close friend in the group?"
"...Yeah."
"Even within the group, you're pretty reserved..."
Joo Woosung bit his lower lip as if feeling stung.
"Where did you hear that?"
"Well... you're famous."
"Sigh... Damn, people sure gossip a lot. I'm trying to fix that, too."
As he picked up some snacks with his chopsticks, Joo Woosung pursed his lips. Then, with a slightly reddened face, he added.
"...Let's both make an effort."
Before I could reply, Kim Heeyoung and Lim Hyeonsu returned. I quickly stuffed the business card I was holding into my pocket.
Lim Hyeonsu, who didn't know what conversation had transpired between Joo Woo sung and me, looked at me with a slightly clearer face, perhaps because she had taken a breather. She inserted a pack of cigarettes and a lighter into the chest pocket of my jacket.
"What are you doing?"
"Smoke and forget about it."
Despite my glaring, Lim Hyun-soo remained unfazed and started urging us to go for the fourth round.
"I'll go in first."
"Oh~ Where are you going!!"
"We're busy~. It's not that we don't want to hang out with you~."
"Yes, we're very busy."
I quickly ditched the drunken crowd, fearing I'd be dragged around all night, and hailed a taxi.
When we arrived at the accommodation, it was quiet with all the lights off.
It was already well past midnight.
Despite knowing I had arrived, no one came out of their rooms.
Without even changing my clothes, I headed straight to bed.
Though still tired, I didn't feel too bad.
Rubbing my numb left arm, I pondered over things in my mind.
"Hmm..."
Then, I rummaged through my pocket and pulled out the business card.
Until Joo Woo sung mentioned it again today, I hadn't thought about it at all. But I'd received counseling before, so I didn't have any aversion to it.
Going to the hospital wouldn't be a bad idea, but...
"It's not a fundamental solution."
Even if I went there, there would be many aspects I couldn't honestly discuss.
Well, I'll go anyway.
I never expected to repay my debt like this, but I'm someone who keeps promises no matter what.
"If it's not a scenario..."
I've always been curious. Why does Joo Woo-sung treat me so well?
After putting the business card back in my wallet, another thought crossed my mind.
Even though Joo Woo sung sometimes acts like a senior, I usually just listen with one ear and let it go. But today, there was something particularly irritating.
Anyway, about the team.
I sighed as I glanced at the empty bed next to mine.
Leaving it like this could cause trouble during activities.
Besides, I couldn't just keep sitting here.
"Okay."
Gathering my thoughts, I quickly got up and headed to the office.
---
"So."
I decided to confront Kang Ichae, who had barged into the office in the middle of the night.
"Are you onto me?"
Kang ichae, who seemed to still be working with headphones on, looked up at me with widened eyes.
"Why are you here all of a sudden?"
But as soon as he saw me, he quickly averted his gaze, seeming suspicious.
I slumped into the chair next to him.
"I'm avoiding you. Do you know what's going on?"
He glanced at me uncertainly, still pretending to work.
"...Did Hyung really spill the beans about his family?"
...As expected.
As I stayed silent, Kang ichae scratched his head awkwardly. Then, he lowered his headphones and approached me, sitting down in the chair next to me.
"Haah..."
He let out a deep sigh.
"Well... For now, it's not because of that. Honestly, I've known about Hyung's tough side for a while. But I didn't expect him to confront me like this out of nowhere."
But talking with him made me feel a bit surprised.
"...Aren't you angry?"
Kang ichae seemed strangely calm.
The tip of his eyebrow twitched slightly.
"...Hmm, I don't really remember."
He remained silent for a while, then muttered as he ran his fingers over his lips.
"Hyung, already spilled enough."
"Huh?"
"For the past few days, I've been so out of it that I can't remember properly."
He turned the cap of the water bottle on the table and took a sip.
"I couldn't sleep for days after the leak, and when I did, I had nightmares. Even though I seemed fine in front of the cameras and the audience, I was completely out of it."
"..."
"So when Hyung acted like that, I started to doubt him too. Wondering if he really did it."
There wasn't any criticism toward me in his tone or words.
"Then why didn't you come back?"
So I was even more curious.
If his words weren't the reason, why sleep on the cramped sofa in the studio instead of the comfortable bed?
"...To maintain a proper social distance?"
Kang Ichae joked, raising the corners of his lips, but when he saw my stern gaze, he quickly returned to a serious expression.
"Just take a break."
"…!"
"People will say something if you keep acting up, especially when we're so close. The members have already agreed."
It was a completely new story to me.
Kang Yi-chae rolled his eyes as if recalling the situation back then, then shivered.
"Of course, there was some resistance, but Jiwon Hyung pushed it down firmly. He's good at stepping on people with his gentle voice, really knows how to intimidate."
"Sung Jiwon?"
"Yeah, the one who believes in Jiwon Hyung like he's a soft rice cake."
"When did I..."
"Oh, yes, yes. Of course not."
I also knew that Sung Jiwon wasn't someone to be underestimated.
Kang ichae pursed his lips slightly.
"You may not know, but he tried to force through schedules at the company. He didn't want a vacation; he immediately scheduled reality show and concert dates. Seonghyun Hyung got really mad, and Dajun also complained beside him."
"...Why?"
"..."
Kang ichae's bewildered gaze locked onto me.
"Ugh..."
His sigh conveyed numerous emotions.
Feeling a bit petty as he pitied himself yet swallowed his words, I felt a twinge of annoyance.
"Anyway, we're partly responsible for Hyung's behavior. I don't know why he's so fixated on getting first place, but..."
"Why is that your fault?"
Was he misunderstanding out of guilt?
Whether it was because of that implication or not, Kang Yi-chae caught on like a ghost and rebutted.
"Emotionally driven... No, you're right. I can't deny that."
Coolly acknowledging himself, Kang ichae took another sip of water and cleared his throat.
"Anyway, we're on the same team, Hyung. If objectively speaking, we did well, then Hyung wouldn't have felt the need to do that."
The reason I was fixated on first place was obvious.
To avoid any potential leaks and to quickly finish this scenario.
I didn't think the members lacked skill.
"If I hadn't thrown a fit about composing back then, if Jung Dajun hadn't made a mistake, if Sung Jiwon had practiced more... and Seonghyun had developed abs. Guitar, and so on..."
"What's the last one?"
"Honestly, I think it's the biggest part of our responsibility."
Kang ichae joked, turning the cap of the water bottle with his fingertip.
"You know our group isn't your number one priority, Hyung."
"..."
"I've always wondered why you go this far. But seeing it now, I understand. Hyung, you have other goals you're aiming for."
He pushed the desk with his foot and repeatedly pressed the save button on the laptop's music composing program.
"Then let's run together."
And he grinned.
"Not feeling sick?"
"Nope."
"Breathing fine?"
"Of course."
Strangely, using acting skills that didn't fool the members, I shamelessly lied.
I subtly shifted my aching arm toward Kang Yi-chae's side, but he simply glanced at it and said nothing.
"Well, that's a relief."
After saying so, silence lingered between us. After a while, Kang ichae stretched and stood up.
"But try not to vomit anymore, okay?"
"..."
Was he still keeping up with the rhymes?
He tapped my back, gesturing for us to leave, and we returned to the dorm together.
Despite the late hour, unlike before, all the members were gathered in the living room. They were chatting quietly, but when they saw us, their eyes widened.
"Oh!"
"You're back?"
"Ugh. Hey, we don't have anything else to do..."
I naturally sat down on the sofa, pondering what to say, when suddenly I remembered Jung Dajun singing a song about wanting to drink alcohol when he became an adult.
At that time, we laughed it off, saying it was typical of a young guy to have such thoughts without fear.
"...Wanna drink alcohol for the after-party?"
"What kind of...?"
Even Jung Dajun looked at me with eyes that questioned the randomness of my suggestion.
"Just go with it if you don't mind."
"Oh! No, let's drink, let's drink!"
Seong Ji-won thought it was a good opportunity to lighten the mood, so he agreed with my suggestion and quickly started setting up.
I followed Kim Seonghyun, who offered to get the alcohol.
"What do you want to drink?"
"Soju."
"Ugh, again..."
If you had tried mixing soju with beer, you wouldn't say that. After grabbing some beer and soju, I wandered over to the liquor section. Kim Seonghyun, next to me, asked,
"Hey, you didn't fight with Kang ichae, surprisingly?"
"Why would there be a need to fight...?"
I absentmindedly scratched my nose.
"Kang ichae acted quite mature."
"What...?"
"He seemed really calm."
The bottle of soju in Kim Seonghyun's hand slipped and fell to the floor.
"Hey. You really don't remember...? Don't you know what he was most angry about when you weren't feeling well?"
"...??"
Then, Kim Seonghyun's expression turned incredibly bewildered as he revealed a new story I hadn't heard before.
"You remember when we were in deep discussion about whether to leave you alone or take you offstage while you weren't feeling well? Kang ichae and Seong Ji-won were fighting so fiercely. I thought they were going to tear each other apart. I never imagined Kang ichae would snap like that."
"..."
"Jung Dajun and I were ready to explode. I never imagined I'd be put in such a situation."
Kim Seonghyun glanced at my face and then muttered as he picked up the fallen drink from the floor.
"We waited outside until Kang ichae calmed down."
That's when it hit me.
"Kang ichae, you rascal!"
I had conveniently forgotten the unfavorable part of the story.
---