The Adventures Of Captain Dither: TBD OTB BRB GTG WTF
Captain Dither and Nick drove up to Harry Oatmeal's house. They could see 'In Your Eyes' blaring, without ever getting out of the car. Captain Dither had his hand on the door handle ready to jump out and come to his brother's rescue, when Nick stopped him. Captain Dither looked at Nick with a question in his eyes.
"Let me talk to Miss Jay." Nick suggested. "I've known her a long time. I'm sure she'll listen to me."
Captain Dither nodded in agreement. "I know what to do. Don't worry too much about him. It'll take more than loud music to rattle him."
Nick and Captain exited the vehicle at the same time. Nick went over to Miss Jay, while Captain Dither went to the front door. Harry saw Captain Dither coming up the walk through the window and opened the door without Captain Dither having to knock. The pair of brothers stood on the porch watching Miss Jay and Nick.
The music was going so loud the observers on the porch could not make out the details of what was being said between Miss Jay and Nick. They saw Nick approach Miss Jay. From the look on her face, she seemed surprised that he was there. Nick's mouth was moving. His voice could be heard over the music, yelling something. What exactly was being said was lost over the sound of the music. Miss Jay seemed to understand though.
Miss Jay lowered the boombox, but didn't turn it off. She kept it facing Harry and Captain Dither on the porch. She and Nick were either talking or arguing something. It was kind of hard to tell. Miss Jay kept looking back at the porch. Her face showed different different emotions each time she looked over. Once, she was biting her lip. Again, she looked like she might burst into tears. She started fidgeting with her hair. Twisting her messy ponytail around and around in her hand on her shoulder with both hands. Finally, she knelt to turn off the boombox.
Harry glanced skyward, grateful for silence at last. Captain Dither tapped him on the shoulder, letting him know that it wasn't over, yet. Nick and Miss Jay were coming over to the porch. Miss Jay was slow she was pushing her boombox ahead of her with her foot. Step, push, drag, step. Miss Jay's face was red and scrunched. She was clearly upset and pouting. When, Nick and Miss Jay got the the porch, she knelt into a squat, to hide behind the boombox.
Nick remained standing. "Okay." He began, after a deep cleansing breath. "Mr... uh..."
"Just call me Harry." Harry Oatmeal introduced himself for Nick. He offered his hand for a shake.
"Thank you." Nick said, shaking Harry's hand. "Harry. Miss Jay has something that she would like to say to you." Nick turned his attention to Miss Jay. "Go on..."
Miss Jay whined and buried her face in her knees.
"Miss Jay..." Nick warned.
Miss Jay mumbled something unintelligible into her knees.
"You promised." Nick reminded her.
"Umph.. ...ey" Miss Jay said into her knees.
"Louder." Nick encouraged. "And stand up, please."
Miss Jay groaned loud in exasperation. She stood up and she looked Harry in the eye. "I'm sorry!" She forced.
"Oh... kay..." Harry gave a wary sideways look to Captain Dither. "May I ask why you showed up the way you did?"
Miss Jay's eyes grew to the size of planets. She darted behind Nick like a startled rabbit. She shook her head so violently her ponytail came undone and her hair was curtain of frizz swinging in front of her face.
"It's okay." Captain Dither kept his voice gentle. "We just want to know what's going on. That's all. Nobody's mad. You aren't in any kind of trouble. All we want is for you to tell us the truth."
Harry nodded in agreement with his brother. "That's all. Just tell us the truth."
"ilikeyou." Miss Jay mumbled really fast into Nick's back. Suddenly, Miss Jay sucked in a deep wheezing breath. "I'M LOVE WITH HARRY OATMEAL!!!!" She screamed, surprising all of them.
This time it was Harry Oatmeal's turn to be shocked. He wasn't sure how to respond. He didn't want to hurt or feelings. From what he'd seen so far, she seemed kind of cute. Harry thought that he might be into it a little. He glanced over to Captain Dither for some kind of cue for how to proceed.
Captain Dither looked like he had a golf ball in his throat that he didn't want to spit out. "I've seen you do worse." He powered through it. "I've met your ex. I was best man at your wedding. Oh, he's divorced!" Captain Dither corrected quickly for Miss Jay's sake.
"True. That one is definitely psycho." Harry laughed. "I hear she's been running around giving two little dogs free rides in a rascal. Maybe she's trying to get into doggy heaven or something. If I were the owner of the dogs, I'd be concerned. Maybe he's too stoned to care." Harry returned his attention back to Miss Jay. "Miss Jay, I like you, too. I'm just not sure if it's that way or not. I'm willing to go on one date, just to see. Is that okay?"
Miss Jay's reaction added to the already extra strangeness of the day. She darted around Nick and firmly attached herself to Harry's side. The force of the glomp knocked the wind out of him and he was unable to respond for awhile. She was nodding and shaking Harry up and down.
Nick had tears in his eyes. He was trying desperately not to laugh. "Um... Harry. Captain Dither tells me you're going to do a comedy special?"
"Hooo!" Harry was still trying to recover from Miss Jay and she was still squeezing the stuffing out of him. He had an arm free. He pointed to Captain Dither to answer for him.
"He means, 'yes.'" Captain Dither answered, receiving a thumbs up for the correct response.
"Have you thought about what you're going to say?" Nick asked. " What you're going to do?"
"Not re-!" Harry started.
Suddenly, Miss Jay released him. "I want to write it!" Miss Jay protested. "I'm the writer!"
"I know you're the writer, Miss Jay." Captain Dither began to explain. "But Harry typically writes his own jokes for his routines." Captain Dither saw the tears and pout return to her face. He didn't want to hurt her feelings. He sighed, heavily. "Maybe if you ask Harry, nicely, he'll let you write one joke for him."
"Pretty please, Harry." Miss Jay turned her puppy dog eyes on Harry.
Harry didn't want to look at Miss Jay, but couldn't help himself. Why did she have to look sooo cute! He thought. Out loud, he said, "you can write one joke for me. If you want. But just one. Okay."
"K!" Miss Jay darted off. Forgetting her boombox on the ground.
"Oh Boy." Harry sighed. "What have I gotten myself into?"
"If you end up marrying her..." Captain Dither grinned. "I'll be your best man, again." He looked at Nick. "Do you want to be the maid of honor?"
"Ha!" Nick laughed. "Mother of the bride. Of Course!"
They all laughed together a little more. Harry picked up Miss Jay's boombox. He would return it to her, when next he saw her. Harry went inside his house, while Nick and Captain Dither went back to the car to go back to the studio.