Turnabout Intruder Alert
Captain Dither was awakened early in the morning by the ringtone on his phone. "Kfubuva?" was the bleary answer after poking the phone.
"Dither, It's Uncle Bob." Came a response that was way too chipper for the time of day to Captain Dither's liking.
Captain Dither rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He rolled over looking at the time. "What?" He groaned into the phone.
There was a pause on the other end of the line. Captain Dither could hear Mama Witt in the background. He couldn't make out what she was saying, but the tone of her voice didn't sound very happy. She sounded like she was worried about something.
"Dither," Uncle Bob's voice was on the other end of the line. Uncle Bob's voice muffled a bit. He and Mama Witt sounded like they were talking to each other about something.
Captain Dither held his head. It was way too early for this nonsense. "Bob, can you just tell me what this is about? What do you want?"
"Uh... Dither... yeah." Uncle Bob sounded confused as to why they were on the phone.
Are you high? Captain Dither thought. "Either tell me what you want or I am hanging up the phone."
"Yeah... CanyoumeetatVeteransPark?" Uncle Bob blurted out.
"Ugh." Captain Dither moaned. "When did you want to meet?"
"Uh..." Uncle Bob could be heard whispering to Mama Witt. "How's in two hours sound to you?"
"Fine." Captain Dither glared at the clock on his phone. "I'll meet you there, don't be late." Captain Dither hung up the phone. He shook his head at the strangeness of the call. Uncle Bob and Mama Witt seemed alright upon first meeting, but something was definitely up with them. Whatever Captain Dither got up and got dressed.
Before heading to Veterans Park, Captain Dither decided to stop for breakfast at a drive-thru. Captain Dither carried his breakfast to a nearby picnic table.
He shivered. The weather was starting to turn cold. Captain Dither hated the thought of snow. Captain Dither wished that he had stayed in his truck. He could have cranked the heat up in his truck and been warm. He settled in to wait for Uncle Bob and Mama Witt. Captain Dither checked his watch, the pair were already 30 minutes late from when they said that they would meet him.
Captain Dither sighed, heavily. If this was a prank it wasn't very funny to Captain Dither.
Captain Dither noticed some kids with cardboard swords climbing all the jungle gym on a bed of sand. Captain Dither also saw a group of women hanging out on a nearby bench gossiping and keeping an eye on the kids, too. Captain Dither focused his attention on his meal. His coffee was starting to grow cold.
Captain Dither took a sip of his coffee. "Ugh..." He made a face. Fast food coffee wasn't the greatest in the world, but it had caffeine and that's what he needed most at the moment. He heard a scream from the kids on the playground that caused him to turn his head.
"Surrender, Peter Pan, or prepare to meet your doom!" A kid shouted.
"NEVER!!" The kid playing Peter Pan yelled back. "Come at me Captain Hook."
The pint sized Captain Hook leaped upon Mini Peter. The kids slapped limp cardboard swords at each other. They laughed and shrieked with glee.
Captain Dither smiled. He thought the kids were cute. However, he knew that he had to be careful. He didn't want to come off as a creeper creeping on kids in the park.
He gave the moms on the bench a second look. At least one was passable. He decided to leave the moms alone. Mama bears could be fierce when their cubs were close by.
Captain Dither looked at his watch. An hour late, where were Uncle Bob and Mama Witt? Captain Dither rolled his eyes at his watch.
There were some ducks splashing around in the river, nearby. Captain Dither had lost interest in his breakfast sandwich, halfway through. He decided that he would give it to the ducks. He broke the sandwich up into smaller pieces. He tossed a piece out to the ducks. The ducks ignored the piece, at first, then they must have smelled food. The ducks zeroed in on the food and started fighting each other for it. Captain Dither threw out more pieces of food for the ducks. One greedy duck kicked and bit to get all the food for himself.
Out of food for the ducks, Captain Dither paced along the shore. A sign was posted that explained what natural wildlife was in the area. Captain Dither read the sign.
The local flower, according to the sign, was something unpronounceable. The local bird was the Titmouse. Captain Dither smirked like an adolescent at reading 'Titmouse.' His mind was imagining a literal mouse with breasts.
Captain Dither saw an empty swing set. He glanced over at the kids. They appeared to be getting ready to leave. Captain Dither waited until the kids and their moms were gone, then, dashed over to the swings.
Captain Dither felt like a child planting his tush in a seat. He used to love swinging when he was in grade school. He pushed himself back with his legs to start the swing in motion. Then, he let himself swing. Captain Dither pumped his legs to go higher.
He was having fun. But stopped. Captain Dither noticed a guy and his dog watching him. Captain Dither blushed, smiled, and waved to the guy. The guy continued down the path with his dog.
Captain Dither checked the time on his phone. Two hours and no sign of Uncle Bob and Mama Witt. It was getting close to the time he was supposed to be at the studio. Clearly, Uncle Bob and Mama Witt weren't going to show. Captain Dither got into his truck. Then, he drove to the studio.
Inside the warehouse, Captain Dither stomped along the habit-trail. He was not happy about being woken up early with a summons to meet only to be stood up. Captain Dither glared in an evil manner into empty offices as he passed them. He was coming close to the sound effects editing bay.
"Caw!" The sound of a seagull stopped Captain Dither cold. The sound was so real, he almost dove for cover. A surprise hand on his shoulder startled Captain Dither to the point where he raised a fist to swing at his would-be attacker. He halted the blow at the last minute when he saw that it was Nick that had grabbed him.
"You okay?" Nick asked, concerned.
Captain Dither sighed. "Fine. Just a little mad, that's all. Uncle Bob and Mama Witt called me early to set up a meeting, but they didn't show. I feel like I have been punked. I'll get over it." Captain Dither didn't mention the seagull sound that put him over the edge.
"I'm sure Robert and Whitney were just having a little fun with you." Nick explained. "For future reference, I am the one that calls meetings. I always hold the meetings in one of the offices here. Better?"
"Yes," Captain Dither smiled, relaxing a bit. "Thank you for explaining. I'd still like to have a chat with Robert and Whitney to see what this morning was all about. I'm pretty sure that they were high and it was a prank... I don't exactly know what to expect or what to say if I talk to them about it."
"Hmm..." Nick scrunched his face in thought. "I think I might have an idea. Would you be interested in playing a scene with me. All you have to do is just act natural and play along." Nick winked. "Oh, and meet me in my office after the scene." Nick added, then, took a deep breath to center himself. "ROBERT AND WHITNEY I NEED TO SEE YOU IMMEDIATELY!" He yelled out in a voice that seemed angrier than Nick actually was.
Uncle Bob and Mama Witt showed up in seconds of being summoned. Robert saw Captain Dither and smiled. He could tell from the look on Dither's face that he had pranked him good. Witt knew, too. Her face was red and her cheeks were puffed out. She looked like she was trying to stifle a bad case of the giggles.
"Knock it off!" Nick snapped. "I don't see anything funny. And what's all this about you too trying to call meetings?"
Witt blushed. "We thought that it would be funny." Robert said with a smile.
"Look at Captain Dither! Does he look like he's laughing?" Nick ordered. They looked at Captain Dither. Fire and brimstone were in Captain Dither's eyes. He was pissed. "Apologize to Captain Dither, now. Both of you."
Whitney had a defiant scowl on her face. She bit her lip. Robert's smile turned sheepish. "Sorry, brother, it was all in good fun. Nobody was hurt."
"Fine." Captain Dither's pokerface held true.
"Good. And remember..." Nick was starting to struggle to stay in character. "NOT SHOWING UP FOR MEETINGS IS MY THING!" Nick screamed and stormed off to his office in typical teenage girl fashion.
Captain Dither doubled over. He was trying to breathe as well as dying with laughter. When he recovered, he went to Nick's office leaving Robert and Whitney standing there.