Lucinda: Chapter Eight
Murk
Report cards went home with students on a Friday, at the end of the day. Usually, during the last class of the day, at the end, of class, teachers would walk up and down the rows of desks, handing each student their own individual report card. It was done this way, so that the eagerness of seeing their progress wouldn't distract students from doing their work. Once students had the grades in their hands, they were required to take them home, to be shown and signed by parents, then returned on Monday morning.
Like all the other students in her school, Lucinda was anxious to see how well she was doing, and to find out where she needed to improve, if she needed to. In those final, seemingly endless, minutes, Lucinda, excitedly, watched the teacher, willing herself to be patient, as he handed out the grades. Finally, her report card was placed on her desk. Blurting a speedy "thanks" to her teacher, she opened the folded paper that would reveal her progress. She, grinned, happily at her report. All As. It was Lucinda's goal, that year, that by the time she finished Jr. High, she would receive a report card with perfect marks. Finally, her goal had been achieved. She was quite pleased with herself. When the final bell of the day, rang, letting kids go home, Lucinda, hastily, jammed her report card in her bag, and dashed to the bus.
Upon arriving home, Lucinda collected the mail, and went upstairs to await her mother to get off from work. While waiting, Lucinda sorted the letters, leaving bills and bank envelopes on the kitchen table, and dumping advertisements in the trash. Lucinda froze when she glanced at the bills sitting on the table. Some had a red boarders. A red boarder on a bill envelope usually meant it was the final notice before things would be cut off, again. Lucinda had seen countless final notice bills over the years. She understood what was coming and it terrified her. Lucinda had grown to hate these bills. For her, they were synonymous with darkness. Lucinda was a 13-year-old girl and she was afraid of the dark and the cold that came with it. Probably the worst thing of it all was the futility of it. Lucinda was powerless to do anything to change her situation. Lucinda was the child, her mother was the adult, but her mother refused to behave like an adult. Life for Lucinda was a minefield of endless panic and chaos due to Cheryl's irresponsibility and Cheryl treated it as a joke. It wasn't fair. Lucinda felt like screaming in her frustration. She glimpsed the calendar and was able to force her worries aside. It was November 21st. The power company couldn't cut them off. It was too close to winter, people needed the electricity for the heat needed to survive.
On top of the stack of important letters, Lucinda placed her report card for her mother to read and sign. That task completed, Lucinda went to the cupboard to get some canned spaghetti to open and heat in the microwave for her supper. Using hot pads, she took her bowl and spoon over to her chair, turned the TV on and watched cartoons, until Cheryl came home.
When Cheryl walked in the door, she was greeted by a timid hug from Lucinda. "Well! What's all this about? Did you have a good day? What happened?"
Lucinda ran over to the stack of mail, snatching up her report card. She waves it, vigorously, in front of her mother's face. "I got this!"
Cheryl smiled, "Oh, you got your report card. Well hold still so I can take it." Cheryl catches Lucinda's wrist, gently, so she can take the progress report. After reading it over and signing it to be returned on Monday. "Nice, all As. I bet you're happy. What shall we do to celebrate?"
"I don't know. I kind of just want to stay home and relax." Lucinda replied. "We got some other letters in the mail." She added as an after thought. "I think they were bills. They could be important."
Cheryl ignored the comment about the bills.. "Aww, that's no fun. You did all that work and you don't want to reward yourself for it?"
"I'm just not in the mood to go out." Lucinda pleaded. "I've got to type up a book report a-and... Please?" Lucinda begged. "I just don't want to go out."
"Nonsense. You've got to do something, for yourself. You can type up the book report, tomorrow. The bills are my responsibility. They won't cut us off if I give them a little something." Cheryl handed Lucinda her coat. "Come on, we'll go to a nice movie. Just you and me."
An exasperated Lucinda slapped her coat out of her mother's hands. "I SAID I DIDN'T WANT TO GO OUT! DON'T MAKE ME!" Lucinda cries in desperation. "THE BILLS ARE YOU'RE RESPONSIBILITY, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE CARE OF THEM INSTEAD OF WASTING MONEY ON SOMETHING I DON'T WANT TO DO?!"
Cheryl stood cold and still. She was stunned by Lucinda's, but only for a second. Then came her sudden and very powerful rage. "Fine." Cheryl's voice dripped with sarcasm. "I'm a horrible mother. Forgive me for trying to do something nice for my daughter to make up for it.' Cheryl's eyes flashed. "You don't know how lucky you have it!"
Lucinda terrified, even more by her mother's anger, "Mo-"
"Shut it!" Cheryl was curt in her order. "Any other daughter that talked to their mother the way you just talked to me would be on the floor, right now, and you know it." Cheryl paused. "I'm doing the best I can. You don't understand how hard it is for me." Cheryl glared at Lucinda, tempted to knock the rebellion out of her. "You don't want to go out, fine. I won't make you go out. You can go to hell for all I care." Cheryl pushes past a shocked Lucinda on her way to her room. There she closes the door behind her, climbing into bed to sleep the ugly incident away.
A bewildered Lucinda, wound up and to frazzled to concentrate on school or anything else, drags herself to her own room. There she paces, tries to calm down from the ordeal. Lucinda believed she was wrong for her outburst. Her mother's guilt trip saw to that. Lucinda felt the need for punishment, some kind of penance to make things right, again. However, she didn't know what she should do. If she bothered her mother to try to apologize, her mother might explode further and that wouldn't be good at all. Still Lucinda felt the need to make amends somehow. She was kicking herself for not giving into her mother's whims to go out. Tired of pacing, Lucinda sat on her bed with her back resting against the wall and drawing her knees up to her chest. When in doubt; cry. Lucinda buried her face in her knees, trembling and sobbing.
***
On Monday, Lucinda returns to school. After handing in her homework and signed report card, Lucinda receives a notice to go visit the school counselor. Accepting the notice with as much grace as she can muster, Lucinda gathers her things, and goes to visit Miss Bowen.
When she gets called into Miss Bowen's office, Lucinda immediately takes a seat in a chair. "Whatever it was that was done wrong, I didn't do it?"
Michelle chuckles a little. "You haven't done anything wrong, Miss Rayne. I've got some good news for you."
Lucinda blinked in surprise. "What good news, ma'am?"
Miss Bowen clasps her hands on top of her desk, beaming, brightly. "After looking over your transcripts and talking it over with Mr. Chandler, we've decided to give you a reward, for all your hard work."
Lucinda tensed. "Reward?"
The counselor nodded. "Yes, a reward. Mr. Chandler and I both feel you deserve it. It'll be something fun, interesting, and challenging for you. Starting today, instead of going to Gym Class, you'll be heading to the computer lab. It is Accelerated Computer Education, ACE. It's a class where students are first introduced to computers, playing around with them to see how they work and operate. It's only for advanced students. The only way for students to get into the class is to be referred by a teacher or administrator. Congratulations."
Lucinda paused, thinking it over, deciding if it was a good thing or not. On the one hand, she got out of Gym, which she hated, on the other, it'd be a new class with new things and new people to get used to. Going along with the idea, Lucinda figured she'd go for it. "Okay, so instead of going to Gym, I head to the computer lab."
"Exactly. You should feel proud of yourself, Lucinda. Your teachers, school officials, along with myself are." Miss Bowen commented, picked up a pen and prepared to make a note in some papers on her desk. "That's all I wanted to talk to you, about. You can head back to class, now. Good luck."
"Thanks." Lucinda appears to calmly stand up, inside, she was nervous about the new class. What if there was someone there that she didn't get along with.? She heads back to class, trying to force her worries from her mind.
Later, when it comes time for the new class, Lucinda enters the computer lab. Computers and desks are all over the place, with a handful of students strewn here and there. Lucinda sees, what she assumes is, a teacher's aide sitting at a large, green, rectangular table. She goes over to the aide to find out what she's supposed to do, here. "Uh… Ma'am. I was told I was supposed to come here, instead of Gym."
"Name." Ordered a large, woman.
Lucinda fumbles for a moment, startled by the lady's bluntness. "Uh… um… Lucinda Rayne, ma'am."
The big woman checks a clipboard with a list of names written upon. "… Ah! Here, you are!" The lady gives a smile and starts moving around in a jolly manner, shedding the veil of menace the she had when Lucinda first walked in. "Nice to meet you, I'm Mrs. Walker. This is ACE. It's an introduction to computer class, offered only to advanced students."
Lucinda, listens to Mrs. Walker's brief explanation of the class. "Okay, what am I supposed to do with the computers."
Mrs. Walker chuckles lightly. "Simple. All around the room are computers. Students in this class, either play games, use the two computers attached to the modem in back to go online, chat with friends, look up stuff on the internet, or check their email. You can do, almost, anything you want with the computers. The goal of this class is to introduce computers to students and make the students comfortable using them. There really is no set curriculum or parameters for what you can and cannot to. As long as you don't break the computers or, intentionally, look up stuff you aren't supposed to, do what you want. I will let you know that the internet we use is through Net-World, sometimes it can go a little goofy, at times, making it so that a page comes up that you shouldn't be looking at. You can't help that, that's just what happens, sometimes. When a page comes up that you didn't mean to come up, happens, just close it out, and move on to something else. What would you like to do, first, with the computer?"
Lucinda thought for a moment. "I don't know. I don't have a computer at home, so I'm clueless as to where to begin."
Mrs. Walker grins. "How about you start with getting yourself setup with an email, using the computers connected to the modem at the back? Why don't we get Libby to help you with that. She'll show you how to get signed onto the modem and you can go through there. Most kids like to get their email through MyMail." She starts leading Lucinda over to the computer where Libby is playing a game.
At the mention of the name 'Libby,' Lucinda gets an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. She tells herself that it can't be the same Libby that she met in Miss Bowen's office, can it? She follows Mrs. Walker over to the desk, recognizing the pink shoulder and blonde head, even before it turns around to face her. Lucinda shuffles her feet, trying to hide behind Mrs. Walker.
Mrs. Walker speaks in a gentle voice. "Libby, we had a new student start in this class, today. Would you be kind enough to help her get started? Showing her how to log onto Net-World, so she can set herself up with an email address?"
Libby jerks her head, spinning around in her chair. "Sure, Mrs. Walker. Who is…YOU!" Libby recognized Lucinda and was not happy to have her enemy invade her class. She sets her jaw, clearing her throat. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Walker, but I refuse to work with her. We don't get along."
Lucinda's face grew red and hot. She put her hand up to her face trying to hide her awkward, embarrassment. She murmured a hasty "sorry."
Mrs. Walker blinks, with a mixture of surprise and disappointment. She accepts why Libby won't help Lucinda. "That's fine, Libby. We'll ask Rachel."
When Mrs. Walker takes Lucinda, away from her, Libby is glad, but astounded. Thinking she's dreaming, Libby rubs her eyes, hoping that when she opens them, again, Lucinda would not be in her classroom. Unfortunately for Libby (and Lucinda,) this was reality. She gives Lucinda's retreating back such a look of pure hatred, that it's a wonder the girl doesn't burst into flames. Libby will have to come up with some way to punish Lucinda for this outrage. Libby returned her attention back to her computer and her game, to contemplate how to further make Lucinda's life more miserable.
Mrs. Walker approached Rachel, with Lucinda in tow. "Rachel, would you be so kind as to show Lucinda how to logon to Net-World, so she can get onto the internet and create an email address?"
Rachel spun around in her chair. Nervous, she peers between the teacher and Lucinda to look at Libby to gauge her reaction. Rachel is relieved to see that Libby isn't paying attention to Lucinda, Mrs. Walker, or her. "Uh… sure, Mrs. Walker. Come on, Lucinda, this will only take a minute." Rachel gets up from her desk and escorts Lucinda to the proper work-station. She instructs Lucinda to sit in front of the computer, use the keyboard to type in her information to create her profile on the network, so she can log in and out, whenever she wants. Then, Rachel shows Lucinda how to find the site where she can create her email and how to create her email. "Okay, so you got all that."
Lucinda nods, focusing on the monitor. "Yes, thank you."
"No prob. If you need any more help, feel free to ask me or anyone else in the class, that you feel comfortable with." Rachel responds.
Lucinda, gulps, moving only her eyes to glance in the direction of Libby. "I'll try. Thanks, again." When Rachel moves away, Lucinda logs off the internet computer and goes to another station to play some solitaire, until the bell rings for everyone to go to lunch.
Libby, unable to stand being in the same room as Lucinda, anymore, raced from the room. Lucinda decides to stay behind a few extra minutes, to help clean up, Rachel decides to join her. The girls, basically, walked around the room, making sure all trash was picked up and computers were turned off.
Rachel was curious about Lucinda, but with Libby around and being so demanding about who her friends were allowed to hang out with, it was difficult to get close to Lucinda, without incurring the wrath of the Jr. High Princess. Rachel walks up beside Lucinda. "What's up with you and Libby?"
Lucinda, turning off a monitor. "I don't know. I've only met her once, but she hates me and I can't figure out why." Finished cleaning up the room, Lucinda grabs her bag and shoulders it. "This is my first year at this school. I don't know anybody well enough to make any friends, and out of nowhere, I, suddenly, someone hates me to the point where they consider me their worst enemy." Lucinda stops, disliking the whine she hears in her own voice. She takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to unload on you. You're really kind to listen. I don't want to trouble you with my problems." Wiping tears from her eyes.
Rachel, starting to feel bad. "It's okay, really."
Lucinda shook her head. "It's probably better that I don't have any friends, they'd probably be picked on the same as if not worse than me. For your own good, Rachel, stay away from me. I don't want you to become an enemy of Libby's too." With that, Lucinda left the classroom to go to lunch, by herself, leaving Rachel to stand there, feeling guilty.
Rachel was feeling guilty. She had taken part in spreading the lies, rumors, and gossip that Libby wanted to tell about Lucinda. She didn't deserve it. Just like Rebecca had said, Lucinda was really nice. Lucinda didn't have the heart to hurt a fly, let alone another person. Yeah, there was that thing with Max Spencer. However, after to talking to some other kids, that saw it happen, that really wasn't Lucinda's fault. Max Spencer will use any excuse to get into a fight. Lucinda was only defending herself. She had a right to do that, at least. It's easier to defend oneself against a single person, than a whole crowd of people. Because of Libby's actions, the whole school, practically, was against Lucinda. There was no way Lucinda could win, not against that many people. Worst of all, Rachel had helped stack the odds against, this nice, innocent, girl. Rachel felt guilty.
Rachel wandered along the halls, slowly, meandering her way toward the lunchroom. It was as if her head was in a dense fog of grief and sadness. Somehow, in silence, she made it to her spot at the table, next to her friends. Libby was ranting to Rebecca about the insult of Lucinda daring to enter her classroom and asking for her help to use the computers. Rachel was too lost in her own thoughts to pay any attention to Libby. She simply sat, quietly, until it was time to go back to classes.
Rebecca noticed Rachel's melancholy. She thought she knew what was going through her head. The same thing had been going through her head, ever since the history assignment. Rachel and Rebecca were sorry they ever started picking on Lucinda. Now, Libby was out of control, and Rachel and Rebecca were miserable over it. Something had to be done to stop this.
When Libby paused in her rant, Rebecca took a deep breath, trying to summon some courage. "Libby, stop."
Libby was baffled. "Stop? Stop, what? I was just saying…"
Before Libby could start up her babble, once more, Rebecca held up her hands. "That. Libby, look at yourself. You're out of control. Why are you picking on Lucinda?"
"W-why? Y-you ask me why?" Libby stammered. "It's obvious, WHY, I'm picking on her. It's because I hate her."
Rachel, having heard Rebecca stop Libby, sat up and listened. Rebecca, keeping calm, continued her line of questioning. "Why do you hate her, Libby?"
A dumbfounded Libby stared at her, defiant, friends. "I-I JUST DO!! Okay?! Look at her, she's disgusting, she's stupid. Can't I just not like someone? Is that okay with you, Rebecca?"
Rebecca, stiffened, stunned into silence. Rachel picked up, where Rebecca left off. "It's fine if you don't like someone, Libby, but why do you have include us, your friends, into your feud.?"
"You're saying you don't want any more to do with this?!" Libby spat.
Rebecca and Rachel, together. "Yes!"
"Fine!" Libby got up from the table, snatching up her tray. She bused it and stormed off to class.
After Libby had gone, a sense of relief descended over Rebecca and Rachel. "So, Lucinda was transferred into ACE." Rebecca, began.
Rachel nodded. "Yeah. Mrs. Walker brought her over to me to show her how to use the computers."
"Cool." Responded Rebecca. "How did you like getting to know her?"
"You were right." Rachel admitted. "She's nothing like Libby said. She's quiet and shy, but really super, super nice."
"Yeah, I know." Rebecca agreed. "What else, happened?"
Rachel looked down. "Well, before we left the computer lab, we were cleaning up, a little. We got to talking. She feels bad and confused that Libby hates her so much. She said she doesn't have any friends."
"That's sad." Rebecca commented.
"I know, right?" Rachel felt ashamed. "Anyway, she said she probably doesn't deserve friends. They'd probably get the same treatment, if not worse. Then… and then…" Rachel felt hot all over. "She warned me to stay away from her, so I don't become Libby's enemy, too."
Rebecca squeezed her eyes shut. "Ouch."
"I know. I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach by Max Spencer." Rachel put her head down on the table, feeling sick.
Rebecca, trying to cheer, both, herself and Rachel up. "If you become Libby's enemy, so do I. I don't think I care if that happens."
In some part of her heart, Libby knew her friends were right. However, she was too angry and stubborn to admit it. In Libby's current state, all she could think about was hating Lucinda. She wanted to punish Lucinda. Lucinda was the one that came to her school. Lucinda was the one that entered her classroom. Lucinda was the one that turned her father and the teachers against her. Lucinda was the one that turned her friends against her. Wiping her face of tears, Libby marched on, blaming all her miseries on Lucinda.
Things had changed. Rachel and Rebecca had grown up deciding to no longer spread rumors, lies, and gossip about anyone else. Libby didn't try to seek revenge on them. She knew it'd be useless to try. She knew they'd protect each other, against her. Libby avoided Rachel and Rebecca at lunchtime. She chose to sit by herself, rather than with her friends. By self imposing exile, Libby had become an outcast. Now, Libby was experiencing the same life, she had inflicted upon Lucinda.