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Chapter 3 - SHALLOW SLEEP - Earth and Purgatory

Following Dai's death, the door to Eris' room remains closed for days on end — useless her mother's concerned shouts to get her to drink or eat something.

Eris knows that a few days won't do anything to her; for a human to starve to death, it would take much longer. 

What reason could she find to go on when the world has gone quiet and lost its beauty?

Ending her life crossed her mind more than once during these days, but Eris isn't determined nor lost enough to commit to such an idea.

And what would her mother do without her? Or Nikki?

They would both be all alone in the world. How could Eris be so cruel to Nikki?

As the days passed, apathy became her most welcome companion — Eris spent the days laying on the cold floor, holding close to her chest all the gifts that Dai had given her.

One of the rabbit plushies is now drenched in tears, a limp and sad weight against her body. 

But today is different: today is the day before the funeral, which has been a constant thought in Eris' mind.

Like another obstacle she has to survive, Eris doesn't think she can do this on her own, so, finally, after days of silence, she picks up her phone and presses two on her speed dial. 

Nikki picks up on the first ring.

"Honey…" he mutters softly, broken-hearted and tender. 

For a moment, Eris has the urge to let out an ear-splitting sound, to let the grief flow out of her in the form of a piercing cry. Yet, Eris does no such thing.

"Nikki… Nikki, I miss you…," Eris answers, holding her tears in. 

If she says more, if she says how much she also misses Dai, and how it hit home that he's gone and that she'll never see him smile again, then Eris won't be able to talk at all. 

"I do… too. Do you want me to come over?"

"Please…," Eris begs.

"I'll bring over your favorite comfort food, we can watch some sea life documentaries," Nikki tells her, and just like that, Eris finds the strength to smile a little.

"I'll be waiting." 

After the phone call is over, Eris keeps staring at the phone until the screen goes black and she can see her reflection, until the familiar voice of her friend Nikki can be heard downstairs, as Eris' mother offers condolences and hugs. 

The last time Nikki looked so heartbroken was back when he came out to his parents and his father couldn't accept the fact. Back then, though, Dai was with them; they stayed up the whole night watching the stars, as Eris told them about the constellations in the sky and about what they meant. They all laughed in spite of their sadness. 

It's not something that Eris and Nikki can do now, not when one of them is missing. Not when one of them isn't coming back.

Standing against the doorframe, Eris gives him a small sympathetic smile, which Nikki returns. Underneath his oversized sunglasses, Nikki is hiding red-rimmed eyes, puffy eye-bags and dark circles — it even seems that he hasn't done his make-up in days, his mascara sticks together in little lumps.

As Eris takes Nikki's hand in hers, she also notices how his usually pristine and painted fingernails are all bitten off, to the point that the skin is torn and swollen, angry-red. 

And yet, Nikki is the one who opens up his arms for Eris to fall into, as if he didn't need any comforting himself, as if he came with the sole purpose of cheering her up.

Eris does fall into his arms, wrapping him in a tight hug — they both cry until their knees give out and they collapse onto the floor, exhausted. 

"The funeral is tomorrow," Nikki whispers into the side of Eris' head, quiet like his pain. 

Just like that, the silence is broken. 

Eris nods into Nikki's shoulder, acknowledging his words.

"We should go, he's… he was our best friend," Nikki says. 

Eris gives another weak nod.

"He was everything," Nikki adds.

It proves difficult for Eris to gather her thoughts and utter a few words, but swallowing around the lump in her throat, she finally speaks quietly, as if afraid to hear the words herself. 

"You know, today… I realized that he's gone for good, he's a dead body like the ones I study at the morgue. For a long time, I was unsure of how to go forward… but I think… I think he would want me to keep my head up and remember his smile. I think he would like for us to be happy, right? He would … want that…?"

The sobs and the hiccups that make their way up her throat show no mercy, and they cut her heartfelt confession in half.

 Nikki wraps his arms around Eris' trembling body, kissing the top of her head with a soft brush of his lips.

"I know, honey, I know. We have to be strong."

 

When, for the first time in millennia, the chains around his ankles and wrists begin to loosen, Lucifer trembles in anticipation. 

Slow, like a broken train, the key turns and turns — Lucifer's eyes don't leave it for a second.

And the final click drags tears out of his exhausted eyes. 

Time stands still once Lucifer doesn't feel the weight of the chains any longer, he is transported back in time to the land of Eden, where he and Ramiel were once deep in conversation. 

"Don't you want to explore what the world has to offer?"

"You know, we cannot. God will punish us."

"How? We are too many for them to control, they cannot possibly overpower us all."

"God is almighty. They will not let you off easily."

"What if I tell you that I am doing this for God's own good? Because I love them?"

"We all do."

"Not like I do," Lucifer told Ramiel, in whose eyes he found nothing but pity. 

They say time heals everything, but those words hurt even now, after hundreds, perhaps thousands of years. 

A teardrop lands on the back of Dai's hand — he blinks in disbelief at the sight before him.

"Uh, aren't you supposed to be evil?"

In response, Lucifer offers him an honest smile.

"I'm a sweet guy, honest to God… also, you might be surprised but even evil people cry."

"Sure, sure. Where to, sweet angel?" Dai asks, snorting right in his face.

"Heaven. Where else?"

Dai takes a step back. 

"What about your promise?"

"Don't worry, I haven't forgotten. But you must come with me to Heaven first; my powers are sealed here."

"You didn't mention that earlier."

"It must've slipped my mind," Lucifer says, with a fake smile. 

"Asshole," Dai mutters.

"You're lucky you're very pretty," Lucifer tells him with a condescending smile. 

"What, would you have killed me if I was ugly, after I saved your ass?"

"It's a possibility. Your soul is also very pretty, you must have been a kind person."

Hearing the compliment, Dai shrugs. Sure, he was kind, but not to everyone. Like every other human, Dai has regrets. 

"Are you hitting on me?" Dai asks, without revealing any hints of melancholy. 

Lucifer smiles at him, "You're way too young for my taste."

"Phew, good to know."

"Don't worry, we're gonna have lots of fun together."

"Oh, I don't doubt it," Dai deadpans. 

Lucifer's laughter echoes throughout the whole purgatory. How good it is to be free again. 

When he was alive, Dai never thought of what comes after death because he used to be someone so focused on the present that anything else took a backseat. And now, face to face with a supernatural being like Lucifer, Dai wonders if this is all a dream, if he will wake up one day to Nikki and Eris shouting at him for being so careless while crossing the road, for scaring them to death. Ah, Dai misses his friends so much.

Or, do people really go through an endless cycle like this, like what Lucifer said?

Despite having all these questions, Dai thought better of asking them out loud. What if it all shatters and this was all indeed a dream? What if Lucifer takes back his offer? 

Would that be like dying a second time?

Something else that Dai keeps thinking about is his sister. Did she end up in the same place? Or is she somewhere else? 

There's so many questions that Dai would like to know the answer to, but for now, he will follow Lucifer.