For many months after the funeral, Nikki and Eris avoid mentioning Dai or anything that might trigger memories of him. It comes to a point where they don't speak to anyone else at school, with the exception of their teachers and each other.
The all-consuming grief tears them to pieces every single day, and every night when they close their eyes they are both terrified of seeing him in their dreams.
If it's a good dream, they will regret waking up; if it's a nightmare, it will haunt them for the rest of the day.
Healing is a slow process and, young as they are, they find themselves searching for coping mechanisms that won't hurt to breathe, that will allow them to think of him without breaking down in tears.
Nikki transforms his grief into songs, while Eris puts all her effort into achieving her academic goals.
Every sad song that Nikki writes is painted on the skin of his fingers, like poetry on a scarred body.
It takes almost a whole year for Nikki to be able to meet up with other people, but slowly, he begins to think of a way in which he could honor Dai with his music.
Little by little, he finds members to form a band and gives their band the name of 54, the same number that Dai had picked for his bike.
One evening, Nikki shares the news with Eris, inviting her to a rooftop bar where they get tipsy on cheap cocktails — both of them overcome with guilt for the sole reason of existing.
"You should meet our singer… he's really lovely," Nikki says, taking a sip from his blue cocktail.
"That's good," Eris answers, with a melancholic smile, "Is he also a student at our school?"
"Nope, I met him in a gay bar, actually."
Eris raises an eyebrow, "So… you fucked him into accepting to be your singer?"
"Nooo….do you think so little of me? Me? I would never do such a thing!" Nikki says, lips jutted out in a childish pout.
"Sure, sure… my bad."
Nikki gives her another pitiful look, "… he's straight, he's just the bartender. Don't you feel sorry for me?"
Inexplicably, the exchange reminds Eris of Dai, of how the both of them used to tease each other relentlessly about their dating life. It's difficult to say anything now, with the lump forming in her throat.
But Eris finds that she doesn't have to say anything at all, because Nikki understands her.
"I love you, you know," Nikki says, reaching out to hold her hand and rub soothing patterns with his thumb.
Swallowing unshed tears, Eris nods.
For many years, Eris hasn't changed the road that she takes to go back home, although there's other roads which would take a shorter amount of time. By now, Eris knows it like the back of her hand and she's used to always meeting the same strangers, for whom she came up with made-up names and stories.
There's the Pink Lady who, without fail, heads out wearing different shades of pink to walk her little poodle.
A few years ago, the Pink Lady had two poodles but now there's only one left, and Eris' heart clenches at the sight every time.
Then, there's the Undertaker, dressed in elegant black and gray, with a variety of bow ties, waistcoats, and gloves. If Eris is as punctual as always, she will meet the Undertaker at the time when he is busy cleaning the patio of his funeral home with meticulous care.
Sometimes, the Undertaker greets Eris with a polite hello, which she returns with a nod and a small smile.
Oftentimes, Eris also meets the Attractive Father who walks his son to and from school — they're always smiling warmly.
More than once, Eris has imagined herself taking the Attractive Father's hand in hers, taking a space in their family. What would that be like?
What would a life with a partner and a child be like? Would it be like those over-romanticized clichés?
Would it be something that fits her? Is it something that she would be allowed to have?
Eris feels guilty only thinking about it.
Unlike her, Nikki always takes a different way home — he has come up with a different route for each day of the week.
However, recently Nikki has been taking the Cemetery route more often. It's so fitting and dreadful.
A sense of gloom overtakes Nikki every time the heels of his laced boots sink into the mud, into the grass, and into the earth itself, squeaking and squishing as they go.
To comfort himself, Nikki intones a song he's written in memory of his friend and observes the crows pick at some rotten meat, beside a grave with a smudged name.
The crows' song melts into Nikki's own in a wonderful and upsetting way.
Torn apart by the sadness in his heart, Nikki wishes for nothing more than for his body, for his flesh, to also be offered to such beautiful animals.
Wouldn't that be what he deserves?
Not too far away from the cemetery, a teenage Rebel Girl™ , owner of a body almost completely covered in tattoos and a self-described disgrace to her own family, is welcoming her Sort of Boyfriend™ into her body.
With every thrust, Rebel Girl's back rubs against the cold, hard pavement of their school's toilet, while her nails dig themselves into the boyfriend's warm skin.
Nothing seems wrong — not until Rebel Girl feels something warm and slick spill inside her.
Fuck the whole world and curse everyone on this earth!
"No!" Rebel Girl hisses, pushing her Sort of Boyfriend away.
Looking scared for his life, the Sort of Boyfriend apologizes profusely.
"I'm so sorry!! So sorry, Saya!! Do you want me to pull out?"
"Fucking asshole, I can't believe you! Get off of me!"
The Sort of Boyfriend complies immediately, fearing for his life, and trips over himself and nearly breaks his now limp dick, culprit of the unspeakable crime.
As soon as everything is tucked back in safely, the Sort of Boyfriend sits down with his legs underneath his body and stares at his girlfriend with an apologetic look.
Saya doesn't spare her Sort of Boyfriend a look and decides to light a cigarette instead, wishing she could set the whole fucking world on fire.
However, Lucifer has plans for her.
For unknown reasons, Lucifer hums Beethoven's Ode to Joy as he and Dai advance towards Heaven on the beautiful and seemingly endless pink-quartz road.
If it's been hours, days or months, Dai isn't sure; nothing ever changes in this place.
The landscape, the smell, the silence.
Everything is in a fixed state.
But then, something happens.
Someone with bright, white wings descends upon them.
While Dai takes a step back, Lucifer stares at the Angel in awe.
"Ramiel," Lucifer breathes.
Ramiel, wasn't that Lucifer's first sin of carnal pleasure? Dai watches her more carefully now, noticing the sharpness in her eyes, the authoritative smile on her lips, the beauty she exudes by just existing.
Ramiel offers Lucifer a faint smile, "Hello, Lucifer."
"What brings you here?" Lucifer asks. It's been so long since he has last seen her. Throughout all these years, she's been his only visitor.
However, centuries must have passed since her last visit and Lucifer had given up hope of seeing her again.
"You look good," Ramiel says, without answering him properly.
"I always do," Lucifer offers her a smile of his own.
"You haven't changed."
Talking to Ramiel is like catching up with an old friend and despite knowing that there's things he'd better leave unsaid, Lucifer cannot help himself.
"Do they still think of me?" Lucifer asks, pursing his lips, eyes damp and sorrowful.
As the two Angels speak, Dai can see the hunger grow inside Lucifer's eyes. What does he starve for? God or another of his sins?
The question makes Ramiel huff out a chuckle, a fond one, one of those that humans would reserve for a familial kind of love.
"You are unforgettable. Unforgivable," Ramiel says.
Lucifer nods, casting his gaze down to the ground.
"Are you here against their orders?"
One look from Ramiel is enough for Lucifer to know that Ramiel is indeed here against God's orders.
It really seems that nothing has changed.
However, Ramiel doesn't have any fear of God within her celestial body and she gives Lucifer and his human companion an amused look.
"I'm here because of a really funny coincidence," Ramiel tells Lucifer, keeping her voice low, as if letting him in on a dangerous secret.
Intrigued, Lucifer inclines his head and steps closer.
"Tell me more."
"God has claimed a soul for themselves and it's his sister," Ramiel says, pointing at Dai with her bright white nails.
His sister? Ruri? Dai blinks and stares at the angel with an uneasy gaze, not that he has any idea of what it means when God claims a soul. Is that a bad thing or a good thing?
Of all the things that Dai would like to ask or say, there's one that he can't help but blurt out.
"I would like to see her," Dai says, voice tight.
With all the kindness that Ramiel can muster, she offers Dai her hand. As an Angel who has been alive for far longer than mere humans, Ramiel has witnessed so much pain and grief that every act of mercy she offers seems insignificant.
Nothing will ever heal the world from the intricate grief that God has plunged it into; however, Ramiel enjoys being kind.
"Let me lead you both back into Heaven," Ramiel says, risking a glance at Lucifer.
There's nothing but affection reflected in Lucifer's eyes, as he takes Ramiel's other hand, joining in the little rebellion.
With Lucifer's blessing, the three of them head off towards Heaven, throughout skies of pink and purple, horrible and cold.
For a brief moment, Dai closes his eyes and imagines being back into the arms of his friends, held within their very human warmth.
Months after the toilet incident, Saya and her Sort of Boyfriend are still together. Neither of them has spoken of it ever since, better for both of them to pretend that it has never happened.
However, the world was not so merciful in that aspect and reminded Saya in the form of five positive pregnancy tests.
And now, contemplating life and wrong choices, Saya sits next to her Sort of Boyfriend at his parents' house.
Would her Sort of Boyfriend actually care that he got her pregnant? After all, he's been nothing but immature and the only reason that Saya likes him is that he's dumb and pretty.
Of course, she would like to get an abortion, but should she ask him for his opinion? There's some part of her that fantasizes about having a family with him — she's still a teenage girl and even if she would never admit it to anyone, a very small part of her wonders what it would be like to be in a romance.
What she has with her Sort of Boyfriend is not romantic at all, they got together when they were fifteen, both stupid and curious — drunk and high as they were, they ended up in bed (or more specifically, in a couch) together and, ever since then, they have been in some kind of relationship.
But it's not like they have discussed anything; they just get together and fuck, they haven't confessed to each other nor have they given a name to this thing that they have.
Today, though, is different. For the first time, they are just in each other's presence without any fucking involved.
Saya is playing on her phone, while her Sort of Boyfriend watches a football match, way too invested for her liking, and his mother irons tablecloths for dinners to come.
It all looks very domestic, Saya isn't gonna lie. Does she like it? No, it makes her very uncomfortable.
What follows is completely unexpected for all parties involved. Like their relationship, the marriage proposal that follows also happens accidentally.
Perhaps it's her hormones or the fact that she doesn't understand people's obsession with football, but Saya snaps.
"Rei, you fucking asshole, you should just fucking marry me!"
In a cruel twist of fate, the very same moment the team that Rei supports scores a goal, which prompts him to scream YES at the top of his lungs.
Both of them stare at each other with wide eyes.
What the fuck did just happen?
It could all have been forgotten as another one of their misunderstandings, but Rei's mother, already hearing the bells of an upcoming marriage, showers them with heartfelt congratulations on their (accidental) engagement.
Speechless as they are, the newly engaged couple doesn't have the heart to tell Rei's mother about the misunderstanding.
In no time at all, Ramiel brings Lucifer and Dai into Heaven, where Lucifer watches in desperation around him.
There's only desolation and death where once was life and beauty.
As if waiting for the three of them, God and Ruri stand in front of them.
The moment Ruri's eyes land on her brother, she smiles in a way that is reserved only for the people she loves the most.
"Hey," Dai and Ruri both say with a soft voice, as they close the gap between each other.
Once safely in Dai's arms, Ruri buries her nose into his shoulder, sobbing at the familiar way in which their bones press against each other's.
Ruri clings onto her brother so tightly, regretful of all those instances where she thought it too embarrassing to give her big brother a hug.
"Baby sister, I see you've made yourself at home up here, just like I thought…," Dai says, his voice tender, so tender that Ruri can't help the tears slipping down her face.
The relief of being able to wrap her arms around her brother again is overwhelming for Ruri's tiny body.
As if drunk, Ruri sobs in between hiccups and breathy gasps, uncaring of how ugly she must look for the first time in her life (or death).
"Don't cry, you look so ugly."
"Stop crying, you little monster, what an ugly sight."
How unfair that those words haunt her still, in death — Ruri's father and ex-boyfriend really did a number on her.
Behind the two siblings, God steps aside and is hit by the stench of sin, all around them.
"You are back," God tells Lucifer, their eyes never leaving Lucifer's.
"I've missed you for too long," Lucifer simply (and perhaps honestly) says.
At the sight of his God, as beautiful and as cruel as he remembered, Lucifer nearly whimpers.
"Flattery will get you nowhere," God says stiffly.
With feet as heavy as stones, Lucifer dares to edge forward, closer to God — he's now within touching distance. If he were so brave as to extend his hand, Lucifer would be able to touch God.
"I — ...I dreamed of your hands. I've been Godless for so long, you know… I dreamed of your hands around my throat, pressing, crushing my bones, until I died, with your weight on top of me…"
Despite Lucifer's voice breaking, God has no pity for him. Not a single emotion is reflected in their impassive eyes.
Instead, God turns their face away and walks over to the siblings.
With a flick of their hand, Dai goes limp in his sister's arms, the weight of his body hits the ground with a loud thud.
As she watches her brother fall in slow motion, Ruri screams, and screams… and screams.
Above the lifeless body, God looms over Ruri like a death sentence, merciless as usual.
Without giving Ruri an explanation, God sneaks a glance at Lucifer.
"This soul is already yours… I assume you will keep your end of the bargain?"
Lucifer smiles, "Don't I always?"
From beside Dai's lifeless body, Ruri finally manages to spit out some words demanding answers.
"Your brother made a deal with Lucifer," God answers, with the tone of voice of someone who's tired of life in general, exhausted.
The answer does nothing for Ruri, who doesn't understand what that means. Is she supposed to fucking guess? Why is no one explaining anything to her in this place?
Shouting for more answers, no one pays her any attention.
Lucifer kneels down to gather Dai in his arms, blessing him (or cursing him) with the remembrance of his past life but offering him only counted years — Ruri's screams fall on deaf ears, her pleas for mercy go unanswered.
In a way, Lucifer feels sorry for this poor soul, who's been reunited with a loved one for a fleeting moment only to see him die again.
However, what does she know? Isn't a life better than a death in this desolate realm?
To console her, Lucifer offers a smile of mercy, so, so different from God's cruel one.
And so it is that Dai is born for a second time with the same name, to a questionable family of teenage parents.
A family with a fucked up life and a more than fucked up relationship, but loving nonetheless.
On the same day of his birth, Eris receives the results of her last exams where she claims the title of top student in the whole region, and Nikki is about to sign his first contract with a band that he's found all on his own.