With a try-and-see attitude, I decided to tattoo the Jinlin Anaconda for Wu Ming's short friend Xing, but before I did, I needed to ask him what his situation was.
I told him a man's issue is a delicate problem, but isn't that something you should go to a hospital for? Why would you look to a ghostly tattoo for hope?
Wu Ming explained that he had indeed been to many hospitals for his condition, but to no avail. He blamed his past indiscretions, changing girlfriends too frequently—you know, overuse leads to dysfunction.
Good lord, hearing him say this made me and shorty Xing, chaste bachelors, envious. Wu Ming was undeniably handsome. Standing together with Xing, there was a sense of Wu Song's prowess compared to Wu Dalang's meekness.
Wu Ming said that since then, he hadn't touched a woman and couldn't. Who would have him?
Luckily, he met his true love and got married. His wife doesn't mind these issues, but Wu Ming feels guilty. Since their marriage, he has never fulfilled his husband's duties. They have a marriage in name but not in practice. Wu Ming has always wanted to cure his condition, having been to many hospitals with no success, until today, when he met Xing.
Normally, such matters are not publicly discussed, but Wu Ming and Xing were sworn brothers from the orphanage, and he confided his trouble to Xing.
Shorty Xing immediately thought of his grandfather who once tattooed a similar Underworld Tattoo for someone with seemingly good results, and he brought Wu Ming to me.
Ah, the good-looking fellows really suffer! I thought it was some sort of incompetence, only to find out it was overuse. Although unfortunate, the former luck is something to be envied!
I told him that I indeed could do such an Underworld Tattoo, but it was a bit pricey, costing a hundred thousand! However, I promised a full refund if it doesn't work, not taking a single dime.
"So expensive!" Wu Ming immediately grew nervous, wondering where he could come up with such an amount. A hundred thousand was not a small number for him.
I couldn't help in that case because my tattoo parlor isn't a charity. I need the money for my grandfather's rescue.
After some thought, Wu Ming went out to make a phone call. When he came back, he said his wife was helping him raise the money, and it might arrive soon.
About two hours later, a rather short and plump woman hurried in. This was Wu Ming's wife, not particularly beautiful and her skin a bit dark. She was quite a contrast to Wu Ming's appearance, but that's nothing when it's true love.
Wu Ming's wife, named Jingjing, indeed loved him. The hundred thousand she brought was her own, hastily brought while still working.
Once I received the money, I wasted no time and hurriedly tattooed the Jinlin Anaconda on him.
The Jinlin Anaconda's pattern is as intricate as ancient brocade, with scales that change unpredictably. Vestigial traces of hind limbs are visible on the sides of the posterior, the body tapers from thick to thin, and the tail is as slender as a steel needle, sharp enough to pierce a hundred copper coins. It can constrict and devour both humans and livestock.
It resembles a snake but is tougher to tattoo, requiring a lot of effort.
For the best effect, I decided to place this Underworld Tattoo on the inner side of the thigh—a spot fitting for the eerie creature like the Jinlin Anaconda.
Once everything was set up, I suddenly smacked my forehead realizing I had forgotten something. For the Underworld Tattoo, I didn't buy the ghostly pigment!
I asked Wu Ming to wait a bit and hastily called Hong Wu.
When the call connected, there was no sound from Hong Wu's end. I called out a few times but received no response. Though I felt someone was there.
Confused, I wondered what was going on. Was there no signal, or was there a problem with the phone?
I tapped the phone a few times but still got no response. Then, suddenly, I heard swearing from Hong Wu coming through the phone.
"Dead man, why the hell are you answering the phone? Go away, after a few days when I'm tired of playing with you, I'll throw you into the crematorium furnace to burn."
Dead man? Could the one answering my call... not be human?
The cremation furnace is the device in a crematorium used to burn bodies, turning them into ash.
A few seconds later, the laughter of Hong Wu came through the phone. He apologized and then asked me what I wanted, wondering if I was calling to look after his business.
I said to cut the nonsense and hurry up with a ghost; I had a client waiting, and he couldn't be delayed.
Hong Wu laughed joyously, saying I'd finally come to my senses, and then asked what kind of Underworld Tattoo I wanted to ink.
I told him I was tattooing a Jinlin Anaconda, for a male client who had potency issues.
Hong Wu said clearly that last month he had a "product" that had been lying around for a while. A good-looking young man, drained dry by three wealthy older women in a row.
That pretty boy stumbled out of the door with weak legs and blurry vision, accidentally fell down the stairs, suffered a cerebral hemorrhage, and died on the spot. That ghost would be just right for the Jinlin Anaconda tattoo.
The price was the same, ten thousand yuan. A deal for an acquaintance, he said, emphasizing value for money.
I told him to stop jabbering and just bring it, money was no issue, considering my immediate ninety-thousand profit.
"Alright, I'll deliver it personally right now, just wait a little," said Hong Wu contently before hanging up the phone.
That old man, delighted about business as if bouncing like a grandson, even addressed me so formally.
Hong Wu's actions were indeed quick, even faster than last time by several minutes. When he handed it to me, it was still in a bamboo tube, though unlike last time, the "thing" inside wasn't shouting about killing anyone.
"I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I won't live off women anymore, let me out..."
There were still sounds from inside the tube, but they were wails and pleas, even mixed with crying.
"What do you mean you don't want to die, you're already dead!" Hong Wu patted the bamboo tube and the voice inside immediately stopped.
"Hey hey, this pretty boy, not only good-looking but also good in 'that' department, the Jinlin Anaconda tattoo effect will be top-tier," Hong Wu said cheerfully after collecting the money and then left.
That old man, with an intimidating face yet grinning ear to ear when doing business, resembled an old fox.
Once back in the tattoo room, I sneakily opened the bamboo tube and tilted it over the tattoo ink.
With a hissing sound, a stream of black mist flowed down, then merged with the ink just like last time. Now the bamboo tube was empty.
This stuff was too eerie; every time I used it, it made my hair stand on end.
After the ink for the Underworld Tattoo was ready, I began to tattoo the Jinlin Anaconda on Wu Ming. It took several hours, nearly until dark, to complete.
Less than ten minutes after the Underworld Tattoo was finished, just enough time to sit down for some tea and a cigarette, Wu Ming reported feeling a comeback of his long-lost strength slowly awakening in his body, filling him with energy.
Whoa, really that fast? Underworld Tattoos are different; their effects are truly dominating.
This completely delighted his wife beside him, clamoring to go home and give it a try. I told them to hurry along, not to flaunt their affection in my place.
But as they were leaving, I suddenly saw a pale-faced man clinging to Wu Ming's thigh. The man had a pretty face, his skin resembled that of a snake with disgusting granules and armoring, and his small belly sported a pair of deformed small legs. He also had a tail like a silver hook.
Isn't that... similar to the Jinlin Anaconda I just tattooed?