The Worst (Best) Anniversary
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"Hey, boys. Your bed looks lonely. Want to warm it up with my body?~" Kushina asked her old teammates, Hiashi and Fugaku, in a flirtatious tone. Instead of being captivated or lustful, their faces turned a little green, as if they had just tasted sour lemon.
"So what do you guys think?! Is it good? Does my boob look good enough, dattebane?!!"
Fugaku hesitated, then stopped himself. Hiashi, however, spoke bluntly: "You're more like a child trying too hard to pretend to be a grown woman. I really doubt that there will be a normal man who will be interested or be fooled by your technique, unless they are half crazy because they want to fuck a little kid like you,"
Kushina didn't take this well. "HAH?! DO YOU WANT TO GET PUMPED INTO AGAIN, FOUR EYES - TEME?" she shouted, raising her fist to punch Hiashi.
"Bring it on, Tomboy," Hiashi retorted, smirking, and activated his Byakugan. Before they could fight, as if by old reflex, Fugaku slapped both Kushina and Hiashi's heads, stopping their bickering.
"Ouch!"
"Ah, shit!"
"Can you guys stop fucking fighting for a minute?! You're both 17 years old for heaven sake!"
"Hey, he started it! He definitely mocked me, dattebane!"
"Oh, that's rich coming from you. I'm just giving you my opinion, especially after I saw the worst seduction tactics I've ever seen."
"Oh, you teme-...!"
"Kushina! I know you didn't like it! But what Hiashi said is kinda right. Your seduction technique is bad. And in the next Jounin test, seduction is one of the 11 ninja traits that will be competed. If you fail in one trait, you'll definitely fail. Now do you want to become Jounin or stay forever as Tokubetsū Jounin?"
Kushina lowered her head, acknowledging that her old team mate's words were true.
Kushina? A seductress?
Nah, she couldn't flirt her way out of a paper bag. Back in the Genin days of Team 9, it wasn't her who played the vixen—it was Hiashi, believe it or not. With his long ass hair and those soft of Hyuga clan looks, he could easily slip into the role of a gorgeous girl.
And Fugaku, all brawn and bulk, somehow managed to pull off the femme fatale act way better than Kushina, who was, ironically, the only actual girl in the group!
This whole seduction technique was a real thorn in Kushina's side. It's what kept her stuck at Tokubetsū Jounin while her other ninja skills were screaming ' Anbu' or maybe ' Kage' material. Mission after mission, she'd flop at the whole charm-and-deceive routine, and it was getting old. She was pushing 17, still a Tokubetsū Jounin, while her old teammates had got their Jounin titles at sweet sixteen.
So there she was, swallowing her pride, "Alright, alright, I messed up, dattebane. I am truly sorry, but hey, you guys still gonna helping me, right?" Kushina's voice was all kinds of pitiful, hoping for a yes.
Hiashi and Fugaku weren't her squadmates anymore, but they didn't turn their backs on her. They pitched in like the good old days, as if they were still the trio that rocked Team 9. And when the word got out that Orochimaru-Sensei had gone off rogue, it hit them hard. But, It's also thing that pulled the ex-Team 9 members even closer, made them tighter than ever. They felt like they'd let their sensei down, missed all the signs of his pain, and now they were left with nothing but regret and a bunch of ' What Ifs'.
At the end of the day, The Team 9 spent their free time together practicing Kushina's seduction techniques. Despite their efforts, there wasn't much significant development to be seen. Kushina claimed that only 0.5% of her seduction technique was better than before.
Given this pace, she might need to dedicate at least two years straight to get decent in seduction, which was frustrating considering the Jounin tournament was only seven months away. Fugaku then suggested that Kushina ask their old academy classmate, Minato, for help.
"Who is Minato?" Kushina asked, scratching her head.
"You idiot! Don't you remember?! He's the one who always sat behind you in class!" Fugaku tried to remind her. However, Kushina's face only grew more confused about who Fugaku was referring to. Fugaku took a deep breath, exasperated by Kushina's somewhat silly (stupid) behavior despite her entering adulthood.
"He's the one with blonde spiked hair and shoulder bangs," Fugaku clarified.
"Oh, I remember him!" Kushina exclaimed. "I always thought his name was Menma, and I never knew he was the famous Minato everyone talked about."
Fugaku felt a bit ironic about the fact that Kushina knew their former classmates well but didn't know Minato. "We were in the same class with Minato for five years from ages six to eleven. You don't know him? He was the first civilian kid to become a Genin of The Year in our classroom. I thought you knew everyone in our classroom,"
"Hey, it's not my fault!" Kushina defended herself. "Every time I tried talking to Menma—"
"Minato,"
"...Minato, he's always as silent as a statue. Even when I pass him on the street, I try to greet him, but he always lowers his head and runs away from me! I never even tried to prank him!"
"You think he hates you?"
"Yeah, obviously. What other reasons could there be besides that?"
"Whatever. Just try talking to him. He's one of the smartest people after Orochimaru-Sensei. Maybe he can help you because I'm out of ideas on how to help your training,"
Kushina took Fugaku's advice to heart and decided to visit Minato, who was busy training alone at night. This was the second time they had met, and this time they actually got to talk to each other.
Kushina couldn't help but notice that Minato seemed a bit of a nerd, which wasn't surprising given that she often saw him walking with Orochimaru-Sensei towards the Konoha Library. It seemed like they both shared a love for learning. Despite this, Minato was very patient with her and explained things in a way she could understand. However, her seduction techniques were still a bit lacking, even with Minato's help.
One day, Minato suddenly asked Kushina to act like a man and henge herself as a man. She was confused by the request but decided to go along with it anyway. Later, Minato asked her to try seducing someone, but not as a girl, rather as a Man.
Kushina was taken aback by the request, but she decided to give it a shot. To her surprise, the results were Incredibly High.
She was shocked and thrilled by the outcome, and before she knew it, she was hugging Minato so tightly that he almost passed out. Despite this, Minato continued to help Kushina, and she was grateful for his support.
Kushina was shocked when Minato knocked on her apartment door one day and demonstrated a jutsu he had created specifically to enhance her seduction techniques. This jutsu was unlike Henge Justu, which works like a low-level genjutsu, deceiving the sense of sight of those around the user. Minato's jutsu, on the other hand, allowed him to transform objects, such as turning an orange into an apple and back into an orange. Kushina was amazed by the jutsu's capabilities and decided to test it out.
She picked up an orange and focused her chakra to activate the jutsu. To her surprise, the orange began to transform into an apple right before her eyes. She even tried eating the orange-turned-apple and was amazed by the sweet taste and different texture and smell compared to the original orange. The transformation was so convincing that she didn't even notice the change until she stopped pumping chakra into the Justu.
Kushina was impressed by the jutsu's capabilities and realized that it could be used in various situations, not just for seduction. She was really amazed by Minato's genius and couldn't help but feel honored when he asked her to help him name the jutsu. She suggested " Harem No Jutsu, " which made Minato burst out laughing. The two of them were laughing so hard that it was like the seeds of romance had been planted, igniting the fire of love between them.
Despite Minato being a genius in creating jutsu, he wasn't very skilled in making seals. So, he often approached Kushina to help him with that. Similarly, Kushina wasn't very good at ninjutsu and other things, but Minato helped her train in those areas. They complemented each other's shortcomings, making them a formidable team.
Not long after, Minato confessed his love for Kushina, and it wasn't more than a week later that Kirigakure declared war on Konoha, marking the beginning of the 3rd Shinobi War.
And everything become downhill from there.
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Yuna was perched quietly in her chair, her eyes locked on the blonde man who was pretending to be her other half. He definitely wasn't her real husband, but he seemed to be enjoying the act, digging into his bowl of ramen and occasionally spooning some of the veggie mash to Megumi, who seemed pretty happy with the meal served up by the restaurant staff.
She gave him a good once-over, taking in his haircut, the lines of his face, down to his neck—every bit of him was shouting out ' MAN'. It was wild, because this was the same person who used to be a gorgeous lady with red hair and violet eyes!
Kushina and Minato are like two different worlds. Their skin, their height, their voices—nothing's the same. But Yuna's got this nagging sense, this 100% certainty, that she's looking at Kushina, no matter how much she's changed. And when Minato lets out that warm, friendly smile? It's like Kushina's smiling right through him. It's eerie how much they're alike.
The big question that's eating at Yuna is How on earth did Kushina switch it up so quick? Yuna's pretty sure there's no way science can explain someone turning into someone else in just two minutes flat.
So, what's the deal? Is Kushina pulling some kind of magic trick?
Is she a witch? Or maybe she's a curse user like Toji used to said to her?
Or worse, she's a jujutsu sorcerer?
"Kushina, how you-..?"
Kushina's deep, masculine voice cut off Yuna's question, leaving her hanging in mid-air. "I know you probably have so many questions," Kushina said, her voice steady and calm. "I promise I will tell you everything. But not right now. There are too many people who are gonna hear us if we are talking here. Do you trust me, Yuna-chan?"
Yuna's gaze was drawn to Kushina's ocean blue eyes, which seemed to bore into her very soul. The intensity of the stare was almost hypnotic, making it impossible for her to look away. Kushina's male form was undeniably handsome, and she couldn't help but feel a flutter in her chest as she gazed at him (her) .
".. I trust you," Yuna whispered, her voice barely audible over the din of the restaurant. Kushina's warm smile only made Yuna blush more, her embarrassment growing with each passing moment. Her thoughts began to wander, and she found herself lost in the depths of Kushina's eyes. Just as she was starting to relax, Kushina's voice broke the spell.
"But, can I ask you one tiny thing to do?" she asked, her tone soft and gentle.
Yuna's heart skipped a beat as she stuttered out her response. "Y-Yeah, what do y-you w-want, Kushina?" Her heartbeat was racing, and she couldn't help but feel a little nervous.
Kushina's whispered tone sent shivers down Yuna's spine. "Can you call me Minato in this form? I don't want the restaurant staff to be suspicious of me. Can you do that for me, dattebane?" She silently pointed at the waiters, particularly the women who were staring at Kushina in awe from a distance.
She nodded, her voice still shaking slightly. "S-sure, I c-c-can do that. Kushi- I mean M-minato."
"Ah, atta girl," Minato (Kushina) winking at Yuna and making her blush even more. Her stuttering grew worse as she tried to compose herself, her nervousness reaching new heights.
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Three years had passed since the start of the 3rd Shinobi War. The aftermath had brought about significant changes, including the tragic demise of the Wolf Fang, who took his own life due to the shame he felt. Amidst these tumultuous times, Minato was appointed by the Third Hokage to become a Genin Teacher for Team 7, consisting of a young Uchiha, a last remaining Hatake Clan member, and a civilian girl who was the niece of the Second Shinobi War Hero and lover of Tsunade Baa-chan, Dan Katō.
During her first meeting with Minato's Genin team, Kushina couldn't help but notice that these three reminded her of how she and her old teammates used to interact. However, there were some key differences.
Obito's jealousy towards Kakashi often hindered his progress, as he struggled to break through his own limitations. Kakashi, on the other hand, sometimes seemed to care little about his teammates, which hindered his ability to learn how to trust others. Rin, who was deeply enamored with Kakashi, was also hindered by her expectation of being saved by either Obito or Kakashi in dire situations, which prevented her from pushing herself to become their equal.
Despite these challenges, Kushina could see how much these three had grown under Minato's guidance in just a few short months since becoming Genin. As they slowly opened up to each other, they began to form strong bonds, and it filled Kushina with pride to see the improvement in these three rascals.
Beside Minato's Genin Team, a year had passed since the declaration of the 3rd Shinobi War. During this time, Minato and Kushina had perfected the Hirashin Seal, originally created by the Second Hokage, Senju Tobirama. Sure, Kushina could use the Hirashin like Minato, but she weren't spamming the jutsu in battle as he did. His prowess in battle was so legendary that it earned him the nickname The Yellow Flash from the Shinobi in Iwagakure. So, it's no surprise that Hirashin, along with Rasengan, became Minato's signature moves.
Meanwhile, Kushina was making a name for herself with a different approach. She was all about using the Harem No Jutsu to its full potential. She could transform into anything—furniture, objects, or even someone else—to sneak attack her enemies. She'd infiltrate their camps, laying down her seals and traps, causing utter chaos.
And get this—she once battled seven elite Kiri Jounin for two straight days without even coming close to running out of steam, even in the most dire situations. That's how she got the moniker Bloody Habanero from Kirigakure, thanks to the carnage she left in her wake, with her enemies' blood flowing from the wounds she inflicted, scattered everywhere.
The thing is, everyone thought Kushina was all about the head-on assault, like some kind of fortress beast ready to charge. They never expected her to be just as deadly from behind. Kushina's skill with the Harem No Jutsu was top-notch. She could even fool the most skilled sensor-type ninjas. As a result, only a select few knew about this ability—mainly her allies like Minato, Fugaku, Hiashi, the 3rd Hokage, and those three rascals.
Her enemies who knew? Well, let's just say she's already sent them off to the Pure Lands.
Kushina's mastery of the Harem No Jutsu was so complete that she could even transform into Minato himself. And nobody caught on—not until that fateful encounter with Killer Bee from Kumogakure, who struck her down fatally, mistaking her for Minato.
Now in this new world, it's quite ironic that Kushina is using one of her signature techniques, something that initially led to her downfall in her own world. However, for her newest best friend, Kushina is more than happy to do anything to make their special day unforgettable. To be honest, when Kushina was in the mall bathroom mirror after using Harem No Jutsu to transform into Minato, she couldn't help but shed a few tears. She misses him so much and can't help but wonder what's happening to him right now.
Is Konoha victorious or have they suffered a defeat?
How will her old teammates, the three rascals, and her old friend react to her disappearance?
Did Minato find someone new?
But before her mind could drift into a more melancholic topic, Kushina slapped herself.
This day is meant to be a happy day for her newest best friend, and she can't let them down by being all mopey about it. She must stay strong, it's her ninja way, Dattebane.
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For two goddamn hours, Shi Woo silently stalked Yuna with the unknown blonde man, Minato, doing all the coupley stuff around the mall. They went from store to store, doing everything together like newlyweds, giggling while hugging each other's arms. Heck, he even saw them going into a boutique store and Shi Woo saw Yuna trying out some clothes, like a floral dress, and letting her new man pick the best one for her to buy! This shit is getting worse by the minute.
Fuck this shit.
For Shi Woo who witnessed all of this shit, it's like a punch to the gut. Toji will definitely kill Shi Woo if he delivers the news about Yuna, the ' Darling Cute' Sorcerer Killer wife, infidelity with some unknown blonde-haired man.
God dammit.
He hasn't even had lunch or gotten some smoke yet to deal with this kind of shit luck!
Then he followed the couple out of the mall and saw them walking together side by side with arms hugging each other toward the nearby City Park. The City Park seemed busy with visitors, and you could see tent stalls on the outskirts selling food.
It seemed like there was a monthly festival being celebrated because he saw people wearing kimono and traditional dance uniforms, and bringing red paper lanterns. Because so many visitors began to appear at the park, he was separated from the presence of the couple. However, not long after, he again found the couple he had been looking for, and oh boy, they are both busy dancing together with another couple of people right in the middle of the festival.
It's not that the couple dances awkwardly; it's actually quite the opposite. Yuna and her boy toy are dancing very gracefully like they have been doing this stuff together for years.
This definitely checks some of Shi Woo's conjectures.
Yuna and her boy toy, Minato, are definitely knowing each other quite a long time. They're probably ex-classmates while in high school or middle school, or they're both childhood friends who haven't met together quite a long time. Probably some lost puppy love that is somehow blooming again.
Shi Woo never thought that Yuna, not Toji, was the one who cheated in their relationship. He assumed Toji would still be a manwhore after getting the commission money at the end of the mission. But after marrying Yuna, Toji's manwhore act stopped completely, and he became a different person. Sure, he was still a piece of shit and a jackass, but he was no longer a Hoe.
Hell, Toji even punched some clients in the face when they tried to blackmail him to them finally have an opportunity of one night stand sex with the famous Sorcerer Killer. It never crossed Shi Woo's mind that Yuna, a virgin naive high school girl, was the one who cheated!
He felt a mix of emotions - anger and confusion. He was angry at Yuna for doing this shit, but he was also confused about how he would tell Toji about it.
'What the hell is going on?'
'Why would Yuna cheat on Toji? What does she want?'
He thought about the possibilities. Maybe Minato had a bigger dick, or maybe he was better in bed. But that was debatable. Minato was tall, like Toji, but had a slimmer fit body type. Shi Woo couldn't say for sure if that made a difference.
Another possibility was that Minato had more money than Toji. He noticed that Minato wore high international brands, which suggested that he was a CEO of some industry and had a lot of money. This could be a major factor in Yuna's decision to cheat.
But then Shi Woo thought about something else. Toji had half-revealed his past to Yuna, which might have made her feel uneasy about their future together. Toji had a lot of blood on his hands, and Yuna might have seen him as a man who was too dangerous to be her spouse. This could have led her to seek stability with Minato, who seemed like a normal, kind, and responsible man.
Then he thought about Minato's qualities. Minato was handsome, smart, and seemingly good with kids. He is type of man that easily remembered his future wife's birthday and their anniversary. This was the kind of man that women wanted.
Toji, on the other hand, looked like a thug and acted like one, with no future plans. Shi Woo couldn't blame Yuna for wanting out of that situation.
' Toji's a bloody mess,'
In the end, he realized that Yuna's decision to cheat was probably a mix of all these factors. She wanted a more stable and normal life with Minato, who seemed to have everything that Toji lacked. Shi Woo felt a mix of emotions, from anger to confusion, but he knew he had to tell Toji the truth. But how would he do that?
'This is going to be a bloody nightmare,'
Right after Yuna and Minato finished dancing together, they both walked towards the sideline and sat under a cherry blossom tree. The visitors in this area of the park were quiet, so Shi Woo could hear a few sentences of their conversation from a distance, even though it was faint.
"You look thirsty, drink some water first," Minato said, opening the mineral water for Yuna.
"Thank you," Yuna replied, immediately drinking the water given to her.
"You still nauseous?" Minato asked, gently stroking Yuna's bangs with a tissue while wiping the sweat on her forehead. Yuna only answered by smiling slowly and shaking her head.
Suddenly, Yuna vomited, and so much came out that Minato's expensive international brand clothes got hit. However, Shi Woo saw that Minato wasn't angry about this and instead looked worried about Yuna's condition, who was now starting to vomit. He also saw that Minato's hand was gently stroking Yuna's back and stomach like a husband worried about the health of his wife and future child.
Oh, shit. This is the worst.
The baby inside Yuna is not Toji's; it's Minato's.
He walked away from the couple for a while and looked for a network to send an message to Toji to quickly complete the mission and go home.
"Finish up, quickly. There's something I want to tell you that I can't tell over the phone, and it's urgent,"
He stayed for three minutes to send the message. When he returned to follow the couple, they were both already gone. His eyes looked around everywhere, but he couldn't find them at all.
Fuck, Toji will definitely kill him slowly for this shit.