Isadora quickly stood up and followed Jessamyn. She was so shocked she didn't get the exasperation in her lady's tone.
"Milady, what did you say?" Isadora grabbed Jessamyn's arm to stop her. She lost her sense of propriety hearing those devastating words.
My husband's killer…
She had never heard her lady say that before. She knew her lady hated the Archduke with all her heart. She thought it was because he abandoned her and married Imogen. She knew that her lady held it against the Archduke for not helping her when her family lost their title and lands.
But little did she know that there was such a heavy reason behind her hate.
Her lady was not someone who drops words carelessly. She wouldn't say that if she didn't have enough proof.
Jessamyn bit her lips realizing she had slipped up the secret she kept guarded in her heart. Her chest hurt as she tried to swallow her emotions. She didn't want to reveal this secret to anyone.
"I don't mind it if you know it. I think the Archduke had my husband killed," Jessamyn said wiping her tears.
"Milady… Are you…" Isadora couldn't talk as she cried. "You think…"
Now that she thought about it, everything made sense. Count Joar was a strong man. He rarely fell sick. To think just a couple of months after the jousting accident the Count fell ill and died of a fever didn't make sense. The doctors didn't rule out poisoning and the Dowager Countess even accused Lady Jessamyn of poisoning her husband. She thought that the Dowager was accusing Lady Jessamyn out of spite but what if Count Joar was truly poisoned by someone else?
Also, the Archduke silently approved the removal of titles and lands of their family. For the past three years, she heard rumors that the Archduke was looking for them for some reason but she thought that they were just rumors. Maybe the Archduke did want to hurt Lady Jessamyn.
"I know…" Jessamyn nodded seeing Isadora could see it too. She wiped Isadora's tears and hugged her. "Oh, Isadora… I love you so much…"
Tears rolled down her cheeks. The weight of the burdens she carried in her heart for ages lightened and at the same time, fear engulfed her.
"I love you too, Milady," Isadora cupped Jessamyn's face. She loved this rare heart-to-heart with her lady. Her lady proved today that she truly considered her as a friend. "What are you planning to do?"
Why did she agree to stay with him knowing all this?
"I'm going to find Lycaon Ulfhednar and get my spell. Until then I am going to be here, as the…Archduchess," Jessamyn shrugged and walked to the bed.
Maybe being in the elite circles was not bad. She could get an idea who Cordelia Dahlberg liked and that person would naturally be the foretold messiah. Maybe that was what the council planned too.
Isadora's shoulders drooped out of sadness. Why wasn't her lady left alone? Why should she get hurt again and again?
"And you, my dear," Jessamyn smiled and patted Isadora's shoulder. "I am going to send you far away…"
"No!" Isadora shook her head. She would never leave her lady when she was in a dangerous place.
On a separate note, that pitiful bear cub's face popped out of nowhere and her chest hurt when the lady mentioned sending her away.
Jessamyn smiled expecting this reply from Isadora. She had stayed with her through thick and thin. Of course, she wouldn't want to leave her now.
She decided to find a proper groom for Isadora once they went to Ravensworth. The doctor's apprentice there liked Isadora. He was a smart and well-mannered man. He will give Isadora a peaceful life. Maybe she should give him her blessing and ask him to bend the knee for Isadora.
Isadora was twenty-one and deserved a peaceful life. She should be happy with her own family. Isadora need not get dragged behind her; she was cursed.
"What are you thinking about, Milady?" Isadora sat by Jessamyn's legs and leaned on her knee.
Jessamyn gently caressed her hair. She didn't answer her. "Isadora, what type of men do you like?" she asked.
"What?" Isadora looked up; her cheeks flushed red.
"Look at you…" Jessamyn pinched her cheek. "Your cheeks are so red they match your hair. Naughty girl, are you hiding something from me? Do you have someone in mind?"
"Aww, Milady… Stop!" Isadora pouted rubbing her cheeks. She was happy to see Jessamyn in a good mood. That was extremely rare.
But she couldn't look at her lady as she couldn't shake off the adorable face of the giant cub from her mind. She covered her face with her hands.
"Well, tell me," Jessamyn leaned to her face. "You're so adorable… Come on, let me see your face…"
"Stop it, Milady…" Isadora hugged Jessamyn's legs and buried her face there.
"Come sit with me," Jessamyn patted the bed, but Isadora shook her head. She was comfortable where she was.
Jessamyn chuckled seeing the bashful Isadora. It was good she was bashful. That means she was thinking about falling in love and marriage. She should not deny herself the pleasure of falling in love.
"Milady…" Isadora peeked out after some time. "How would you know? How is… What does falling in love mean?" she asked.
Jessamyn smiled from her heart. She was happy for Isadora. "Love… I don't know…" Jessamyn looked at the ceiling.
There was intricate work done on the wooden beams and slowly her memories faded to the beautiful sunshine seeping down through the leaves of the trees. Joar was a bright and warm sunshine in her life. His smile lit up her life.
When did she realize she was in love with Joar?
"When you see him smile at you, you feel euphoric, thinking about him makes your abdomen tight, you'll forget eating and sleeping and wait for the time to meet him again, your heart will yearn just for a glance of him, even if he's standing amidst a thousand men, your eyes will find him naturally and your heart will pound when his eyes meet with yours, a second will feel like an eon and years would roll away faster than a second, nights would be lonely without him…"
Jessamyn stopped hearing Isadora sigh.
"It appears tough…" Isadora sighed again.
"Silly girl…" Jessamyn gently tapped Isadora's head. "Being in love is fun too."
Isadora stared at Jessamyn with a wide smile. "You are very pretty, Milady…"
Jessamyn let out a deep breath. It had been a while since she smiled from the heart. Isadora's pureness is what she lacked in her life.
"Milady… Can I ask you one more thing…?" Isadora hesitated. When Jessamyn nodded, she asked gathering her courage. "Why do you believe in lore when you do not trust the goddess anymore?"
Jessamyn chuckled. What a good question! "You see, Dear Isadora…" she gently caressed Isadora's hair. "I need to have trust in something. You won't understand it. Hopefully, you never do…" she said softly.
Only the people who are struggling to stay afloat in the deep sea will try and find something to hold on to survive. For some, that something is God, for some, it's someone else, for some, it's the lore and superstitions, and for some, it's other things; some even hold on to resentments and hatred to survive.
Someone pure-hearted like Isadora wouldn't understand that. She didn't have to understand it. She was one of a kind.
"Well, well… What do we have here!"
The loud voice followed by the door bashing open made both Jessamyn and Isadora wince.
Seeing the man standing leaning on the doorframe with a weird smile on his face, Jessamyn rolled her eyes. Isadora quickly stood up.