Astor returned home wrapped in Ren's jacket, his face facing the floor as he followed the strong Alpha inside. The man stopped, making him mimic him and his green eyes landed on his wide back. He had never seen someone like him before. A beast in the form of a human, his golden eyes shining as he smiled with madness dripping from his lips.
He had never seen a demon before but Astor was sure he would look like that, enveloped by a darkness, an aura of power, and the glimmer of bloodthirst. Ren had come to this state because of him, he had gone wild, he had been restrained and he had threatened the authority he so carefully tried to manage just because Astor had been caught.
Thankfully, nothing bad had happened, no danger or no harm had fallen upon them and August was probably too scared to react or even try and get revenge but Astor felt like he had seen something that he shouldn't have. Those minutes when he fought for him, the threats he uttered followed by his caring stare made his chest ache, and his brain went foggy with the thought of love. He had come like a storm, a divine figure before him and he had swept all those who wanted to hurt him away. Astor felt like he would cry, seeing Ren's kindness, made him want him even more, even if he knew that he was almost like a dream to him.
He was a pureblood, an Alpha. Ren had everything in this world so he wouldn't desire someone like him. A man so flawed, so weak. He couldn't help but think that this fondness he felt was only going to burden him.
"You're alright!" Niss' voice brought him back from his depressive thoughts. "Oh my" she gasped once she watched him, his brooding face and his frail body. Without a warning she grabbed him, bringing him in her warm embrace. Her perfume sweet as it reached his nostrils, her voice filled with concern as she spoke to him. "Come on, I have prepared a warm bath for you and then some delicious dinner and you will be fine." she led him up the stairs, leaving Ren behind. Astor did not have the courage to look at him right now, not after thinking all of those things.
Niss took him to the bathroom, the whole space smelling like vanilla as the steam covered the mirrors. He gave her Ren's jacket and without thinking twice he dived into the bathtub, emmersing with his white hair wet, sticking all over his face. The woman was still there, sitting in the toilet, watching him with wary eyes but he did not mind. This was the least of his problems at the moment. Astor brought his knees close to his pale chest, wrapping his arms around them and hiding his face as he began to cry. He felt so weak, so helpless.
"Hey…" Niss called him. "It will be alright. I am so sorry. We shouldn't have let you go there. It was stupid and immature." she apologized.
"It's not that." Astor told her, his face still hidden. He found it easier to talk like that. It was almost as if he was talking to himself. "You should have seen him, Ren almost killed that guy…"
"And that scared you?"
"No. For a bit, I wished that he would. Crush his skull for what he did to me. I am not scared of violence but then he…he talked to me, the things he said, his words made my chest hurt."
"What did he say Astor? Did he hurt you?"
"No!" Astor exclaimed. Staring at her. The thought of someone misunderstanding Ren displeased him, blaming him for something he hadn't done. "He was so kind to me, he saved me again. I can't stop thinking about him. I know I shouldn't but…"
"Why? Why do you think that you shouldn't" Niss asked, her face anxious.
"He is not in the same place as me. I know very well that with werewolves the hierarchy is everything. Your hierarchy is even worse than the one in my pack. He is a pureblood, a direct descendant of the moon god and you think that I could ever even dream to be around him like that? I am weak, I will never get acknowledged." he explained. Niss sighed, closing her eyes as she rubbed her temples, seeming to be kind of confused.
"You just got almost killed and so many other horrible things and you think of Ren? Don't you think that's a bit weird? If you like him that much why give up? I understand. All of your concerns make sense, but you can do something about it Astor."
"I can?" He asked her, the tears slowly stopping from leaving his eyes.
"Yes." Niss announced with a cheeky smile on her face. "You become stronger, you train with me and Nash and then you become equal with Ren."
"I could never become equal with him you must be insane."
"Are you sure about it? It is your birthright. You and Ren, Astor, were born equal. You are a firstborn son too."
"You mean…"
"Take it, take the Highfangs."
Astor stared at her, his eyes wide while he processed what Niss had just proposed. He had never thought of it, the actual idea had never passed from his mind, it felt illegal to but what she said was true. He is a firstborn son, he was the one who was supposed to become the Alpha. The day they were born he and Ren were equal, at least really close to that but Astor had lost that right. He did not care about being a ruler, he did not care about the people of his pack or his brother but if this made him able to get closer to him, even for a while, even for just a short while of bliss until Ren found his mate he would do it. He would do anything to just be able to stand next to him without feeling ashamed of himself.