Xavier's POV
The remaining wolves lower their heads in respect as I carry Basil in my arms. "Let's go," I tell them all. Jacob remains in wolf form by my side as the others follow behind me. Basil's limp form is heavy in my arms and, while I dread the journey ahead, I shift them every mile or so. We're maybe twenty or so miles outside of the pack and it will be hours until we make it back. My back and chest burn and ache, blood still dripping from each wound. My face carriers smaller injuries that seem to laugh at me as they sting in the night air.
The night seems to mock me. Not a cricket chirps, none of the few remaining leaves seem to ruffle. I'm forced to be left alone with my thoughts. Forced to think of how I failed tonight as a leader. I should have brought more backup. I should have noticed when Basil got lost amongst the chaos. I should have kept another rogue alive. Now I have no answers and a member of my pack, my family, lays dead in my arms. I can only assume they were thrown, their spine was clearly snapped. I've had wolves walk away from spinal injuries before, albeit with some medical care. Basil was unlucky.
No one says a thing. The silence continues and it deafens my ears.
I stumble over a tree root several miles in and curse under my breath. 'Alpha,' Jacob sends through our private link. 'Let's take a break.' I nod, not having the energy to fight. I gently set Basil down, tearing my eyes away as I feel my heart squeeze. I'm sure their mate already feels it. I know when we return, I'll have to go to the little house they both shared. I'll have to tell her that I failed them both. I'll have to tell her that I'm sorry for her loss. She'll never get her mate back. Never.
"FUCK!" My fist strikes a tree before I can stop it. It cracks and blisters under my assault.
'Alpha?'
"I'm fine," I huff and sit down against the tree. I hiss as the wound on my back hits the tree. The other wolves give me a sympathetic look before looking away. Several of them, likely following instinct, guard Basil's body. Calvin looks no better than I feel, head low with his tail between his legs.
I run a hand over my face, looking towards the sky. The moon shines brightly tonight in a crescent, its light seemingly pulsing in the sky. I look to the sky around it, making out several constellations.
I think of Celeste. I think of going back to her tonight, covered in blood but still alive. She's alive. We're both alive and, ultimately, fine. Fine in the sense of tomorrow we get to be alive and together. Fine in the sense that neither of us went to work this morning and is being brought back as a casualty of a fight with rogues. Fucking rogues. How they held out the fight for so long scratches the back of my brain but I know that that's a problem for tomorrow.
It'll be another few hours before I get to go home to her. 'Zay,' I link her.
'Xavier! Are you okay?'
'In some ways, yes,' I tell her honestly. 'We lost a warrior.' The silence that comes after that statement was probably minimal but it feels like hours.
'Xavier, I'm-'
'I need you to check on Celeste.' Running a hand through my hair brings several strains to my aching body. 'It'll be awhile until I get home.'
'Will do, Alpha.'
'That wound looks brutal,' Jacob says, making his way beside me. He still has a limp in his front left paw. I look down as best I can. True to his word, the chunk of torn flesh bleeds and weaves out of and between the flesh.
"I'm sure the one on my back is worse," I scoff. He looks away, spinning around to sit beside me. He favors his right leg. "Is it broken?"
He glances up to me then down to his hurt leg. 'I think so.' I nod. 'I've dealt with worse.' I scoff, remembering several times he's gotten injured in training or in fights of various degrees.
'Alpha,' Zay's voice breaks into my head. 'You have to come back quickly.' I sit up, hissing as pain strikes through my back.
'Is she okay?' My mind begins to swim. Was this a distraction? Did a rogue break into my land while I ran out here to deal with a diversion? Did they get her? My heart pounds and Jacob eyes me warily.
'She's safe, Alpha.' I breathe, calming myself. My wolf whines and paces. 'But. .'
'But what, Zay? I do not have the patience for this. Not tonight.' A growl makes its way out of my throat.
'She's in heat, Alpha.'
"Fuck," I mumble, pushing myself up despite my body screaming at me to rest for even just a minute longer. My wolf begins to whine and pace. 'We'll be back as soon as possible.' I pause. Jacob looks at me in confusion. 'But,' I look back over to where my people protect Basil's limp form. 'I have business to take care of first.' My fist clenches. 'Please take care of her until I get back to the pack house.'
'Understood, Alpha.' Our link cuts out.
"We have to go back right now, everyone. I- I know we are all tired and injured. But I have to get back."
'Is everything okay?'
I eye Jacob, sending him a private link, 'Celeste went into heat.'
'Fuck.'
Everything in me says to run home. To get to her. But Basil. . . I can't leave them. And their mate should receive word from me. I picture her, in their little one bedroom. Crying at this very moment as they would have felt when Basil passed. I wonder if Basil got the chance to send a final link to her. If they told her that they loved her. If they apologized for not coming home. If they. . If they blamed me. Told her that I failed them, both of them. I shake my head, they wouldn't have.
The wolves in my path clear my way as I bend down to pick Basil back up. I close my eyes as their body curves into my arms in an undesignated manner. I try to quicken my pace on the remainder of the journey home without compromising how I carry Basil. I feel the wound on my chest begin to repair itself but it brings an additional; stinging uncomfortable feeling.
As we approach the border of the pack, I turn back to my people. "I want to thank you all for your efforts. Not just today but everyday. Tonight was difficult. And unfortunately, I cannot say that the difficulties are at an end. If anything, this may be the beginning." I look between the small group, catching Jacob's eye. "I regret to say that I will likely not be available this upcoming week. But rest assured," Basil's fur is between my fingers as I tighten my grip on their light form, "I will hold the passing over ceremony for Basil as soon as we can." Calvin begins a long howl, his eyes so very sad in the moonlight tonight. The others follow. Jacob, being the last to join, gives me a reassuring nod before they begin their song into the night. "I ask that you all go home. Share your love, your life, your existence with your family. With your mates should the moon goddess have led you to them already." My wolf whines in my head, already trying to make out the path to Celeste's scent.
But first. I set Basil down, reaching into the shrubbery to pull out a pair of shorts. "Jacob, if you could shift and come with me." He doesn't confirm but I hear his bones snapping back into place. Jacob also reaches into the shrubbery, sorting through until he pulls out shorts in his size. He notably doesn't use his left hand and I take note of the discoloration. "As soon as this is done, I'd like you to see one of the healers." He nods. Werewolves may heal fast but their bones still need to be set.
We make our way to Basil and Autumn's house. Autumn's house. . I wonder if she'll stay there after this. Or perhaps the memories will be too much. The house is small, smaller than the new house Lesa just moved into. I hesitate before laying Basil down on the side of the house, not in view of the door. Jacob stands with Basil, guarding them with an instinct set from the generations before us. Raising my hand to the door is hard, knocking was even harder.
No one answers. I knock again. "Autumn?" I try to peek through the front window but the curtains are drawn. "Autumn, it's Alpha Xavier." I lean my head against her door. Every breath taken feels like swallowing concrete. "Autumn, I- I can't imagine what you're going through right now. The pain of losing your mate is said to be one of the greatest pains a werewolf can go through. And I feel like that statement probably doesn't even do it justice. If you could jus-" The door opens, I snap my head back. Autumn stands there. Her brown pixie cut hair is in a disarray, as if it's had a hand run through it a million times. Her olive skin seems pale tonight, a sheen of sweat covering her form and bags under her red eyes. Her arms are covered in scratches as is her neck.
"Alpha, I-" A sob breaks through her lips and I pull the young girl to me. I try not to cry, running a hand up and down her back. Her cries turn into occasional screams, a seeming plea to the universe to bring them back. We both fall to the floor, the concrete porch a contrasting cool to the shameful heat that fills me with a continuous melancholy. A contrast to the hot tears that hit my chest. We sat there for a while, her crying and me begging my body to remain calm. Remain steady. If not for me then for this broken girl who just lost her other half.
"Basil was a great person, Autumn. They fought hard and they loved harder." A wail leaves her lips. "There wasn't a day that went by where they didn't make at least one person smile. Tonight, tonight they fought valiantly. Luck was not on our side, on their side." A harsh sob from her has me biting my lip and blinking harshly. "I am incredibly sorry for this loss, Autumn. I'm so damn sorry."
"Wha- where?"
"There was a group of some twenty rogues that Calvin, Basil, and a few others spotted this morning. The rogues were on their way to the pack when I was alerted. I took one of my third-in-commands and several more wolves to meet up with the scouting team. The rogues waited for us, attacking when we got closer." My breaths are shaky and my tone grave. "Basil fought hard. We all did. The fight lasted several hours but," I tighten my hold on her, "but at some point Basil must have been thrown. We found them, already gone," she sobs harshly. "Their spine seems to have snapped. Did - were they able to link you at all? Before they passed?"
Part of me was being selfish right now. Looking for some kind of reassurance that no blame was worded against me. If it was? Well then I would take it. I already feel at fault. I already feel like I could have prevented this somehow, some way. Another part of me just desperately wanted this young girl to have gotten some kind of farewell from her love, her mate.
"I- yes," she sobs again, a cruel haunting sound. "They told me that they loved me. They - they talked for a while. I begged them. I begged for Basil to stay with me. They talked of how beautiful the day we met was, how happy they were when we moved in together. Then, I felt it. Goddess, Alpha, it was the worst pain I'd ever felt. My body is aching and my heart feels physically torn apart. I've barely been able to stand, my stomach is turning. I-I" she breaks out into another series of sobs. She pulls back and looks in my eyes, crushing my soul further. "Wh-where are they, Alpha?"
"Jacob is with them just around the corner, would you like to see them?" Her mouth opens and closes several times. "It's okay if you don't. I want to be fully honest with you, it's going to be a brutal sight. They took some damage in the fight, one of their eyes was cut pretty deeply." Her head falls as she cups her mouth. "It could bring some closure. But closure can be found regardless."
"I," she wipes at her face and looks back at me, tears still falling down her face, "I'd like to see them." I help her to her feet. She's shakey and I fully believe her when she said she was struggling to stand. I end up wrapping an arm around her middle to keep her steady. Jacob eyes her then me. I nod to him and he steps away from Basil's body. She throws herself to them. Wails of 'why' leave her lips again and again. Lights turn on inside the houses around us. Jacob turns away from them and I see tears in his eyes.
"Jacob," I say over an hour later. "Escort Autumn back to the pack house. I'll take care of Basil. Set her up in a room downstairs, ask Zay to check her vitals. Tell her I want them checked again in the morning."
He crouches down next to her where she had been laying on Basil's limp form for the past half hour or so, running her fingers through their fur. "Are you ready to go?" His voice is softer than I've ever heard it. She begins to cry again, big tears falling down her cheeks.
"Wh-where are they going? Wh- I- Can I-" She begins to sob loudly.
"I'm going to take them to the medical center." She looks to me, eyes seemingly barely seeing. "They'll take care of them there. And, when you feel up to it, we'll hold their passing over ceremony. Okay?" She nods, pushing herself to sit up. She turns back to Basil, running her fingers over their snout and cheek.
"C'mon," Jacob encourages her. "It'll be okay." Jacob does his best to help her stand with his non-broken arm. She leans into his side as they make their way back to the pack house. I hear Jacob telling her someone can bring her clothes tomorrow.
I sat with Basil's body in the medical facility for another hour. The automatic lights had turned off and I still sat with my head in my hands. A large part of me needed and wanted to go back to Celeste but I couldn't. My heart felt heavy. My body tired. The wounds on my chest and face were healed but the one on my back still stung as the skin tried to repair itself. Basil was, of course, unmoving. I willed the universe to let a breath pass through them. I begged to the Goddess to bring them back, to let me have another chance. To let Basil and Autumn have another chance. Eventually my wolf's whining won and I got up, heading back to the pack house.