Xavier's POV
Celeste's scent overwhelms me as I enter the pack house. I had thought there was something different to her scent earlier today, yesterday? I had lost track of time but I was sure it was well past midnight at this point. Part of me wishes I had stayed with her but the other part knows today could have been much worse if I hadn't gone.
Zay walked down the downstairs hallway and gave me a sad smile. "How are you feeling?"
"Like complete shit." She took a steady breath, nodding. She eyed my chest where the wound was.
"Well at least you look healed up," she tried.
"The one on my back is worse." The stinging burning ache hits with every step, especially after the trip back through the forest. I glance upstairs, knowing Celeste is waiting for me up there. "How is she?"
"Celeste is okay. She was in some pain when I woke her up but I gave her some meds to help her get back to sleep. She's in your room now." I give her a small half smile. "Autumn isn't doing well though, Xavier." My shoulders tense. "Her heart rate and blood pressure are extremely low."
"Do you think-"
"All we can do is keep her comfortable right now, Xavier." I bite my cheek, darting my eyes away from her. "I gave her some meds. They might help, might do nothing. I'll check on her through the night." I nod, still not catching her eyes. "Hey," I look up only briefly before looking away. "This isn't your fault." I scoff. "Basil knew what they were signing up for when they became a warrior. Yes, it sucks and should never have to be the ending." I glance down the hallway to where I know Autumn is sleeping somewhere. "But it happens."
"Right," I say, not believing myself.
Silence rings between us momentarily as I shift on my feet. "I hope you're not planning on seeing Celeste like that." I look down. There's dried blood going down one side of my chest; I'm sure my back and cheek are in similar conditions. "Go take a shower in one of the guest rooms. If your back is still bleeding, come see me and I'll patch you up. I'll be in my office." I nod and go down the hallway. Before I can get myself to shower, I trace Autumn's smell to the room she's staying in. I open the door as quietly as possible and slip inside. She's sleeping but her breaths sound labored. I put my hand on her cheek, feeling the clammy skin beneath my fingers.
"I'm sorry," the whisper leaves my lips as broken words. I feel a tear finally slip down my cheek. I open up the storage trunk at the end of the bed and pull out an extra blanket. I unfold it and place it over her with great care, tears slowly falling down my cheeks the entire time.
I shower for longer than my wolf would like. This entire night has been longer than my wolf would like, a strong urge to go upstairs filling my entire being. Instead, I watch blood go down the drain until the water runs clear.
My room is overpowered by her scent and I feel my resolve lessen as I see her tangled in my blankets. She sleeps soundly, her lips parted as steady breaths turn into occasional little snores. Water dripping down my back reminds me to make my way into the closet where I swap the towel around my middle for comfortable pajama pants and a shirt. The wound on my back itches as the fabric brushes over it.
I crouch by the side of the bed, placing my hand on her blanket covered shoulder, rubbing my thumb up and down. "Hey little one," I whisper gently. Her eyebrows furrow, nose scrunching up as she starts to wake up. Her eyes flutter open, scanning my face.
"Xavier," her voice is a bit strained. She pushes herself to sit up, momentarily getting caught in the blankets. A small chuckle leaves my lips until she winces, a hiss leaving her lips.
"Scoot over." She shimmies over, swaddled in blankets making her look much like a moving worm. As soon as I'm in the bed, blankets readjusted over the both of us, I pull her to me. I can't help but inhale her scent close up, a small growl leaving my lips before I catch myself. I settle myself by placing small kisses up and down her neck. She sighs, tilting her neck. Another growl passes my lips. The urge to mark her here and now intensifies. And for that, I pull away; instead, resting my head on the pile of pillows she seems to have built. I was sure several of these pillows had joined from her room. She flips herself to face me, looking my face up and down. And then she scans my arms.
"Zay said it was bad?" I nod, looking away. "Are you hurt?"
"I'm fine, Celeste."
I catch her eyes to see them narrowed at me. "Don't lie to me," her words are firm and steady.
I close my eyes briefly, taking in a breath through my nose. "You're right," I kiss her nose. "I'm sorry." Her hand rests on my cheek.
"What happened?" The softness of her voice returns and I try not to crumble. Crumble under the weight of her affection. Crumble under the stress of these last 24 hours. Crumble under the acceptance of my failure.
"We lost a warrior."
"Xavier. . I'm so sorry."
"And now," I look away, "their mate is dying downstairs."
"From heartbreak?" I nod.
"When I was a kid, I watched three women die from heartbreak after the attack on our pack. It was so scary," she mumbles. "Mom took care of them in their final moments but we had no supplies. No medicine, no blankets to keep them warm. We barely had food to try to give to them. In the end, nothing she was able to do was enough."
"What an awful thing for a child to watch."
"It was awful. But," I look back to her. How can there be a 'but' in this scenario? "Mom told me that their souls got to go to the Goddess. Got to be with their mates again. I remember imagining three sets of wolves, playing together in a happy reunion in the stars. I'm sure I imagined it but I feel like the stars shined brighter that week." For the second time tonight, I feel a tear make its way down my cheek. She's quick to wipe it away. "I never imagined I would see an Alpha cry."
I give a little laugh, grabbing her wrist and pulling her hand from my cheek to my lips. I kiss her palm firmly. "I'm supposed to be the one taking care of you right now." Her smile is small but genuine in a way that I can't resist. I press my lips firmly to hers, her hand falling from my hold and going to my shoulder as she returns the brief affection. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm okay right now, better now that you're here."
"Good," I say with another kiss to her nose.
"I was really hot earlier but I feel a little cold now." I pull the blanket up around her, running one of my hands up and down her back. She sighs, pressing her head to my chest. "My body hurts a bit but the nausea seems to be gone. I dry heaved for maybe an hour earlier."
"You should go back to sleep," I whisper. "If I remember correctly, it's only going to get worse." She nods.
"Mom once said it's a lot worse once you meet your mate?"
I scoff, nodding. "Yea. It's some biological evolution to get mates to try and conceive quicker." She stiffens. "Hey," I say softly, my hand stilling on her back. "We do everything in your time. Evolution and tradition be damned. Remember?" She hesitates before nodding.
"Right." My hand resumes rubbing up and down her back.
"How long did your previous heats last?"
"Four, five? Days?" I nod.
"We'll get through it together." She stills.
"Thank you. ." A comfortable silence fills the room. "My first heat I went through. . That was when Christopher. ." I still, not expecting this.
"Celeste. . Did he ever. ."
"No. Lycer stopped him." I released a breath. "That was the first time I saw him."
I press my lips to the top of her head. "I'm glad he was there for you."
She looks up at me, resting her chin on my chest. "I'm glad you're here for me now." I give her a smile.
"Me too."
The morning comes and Celeste is still sleeping steadily on my chest. Her legs on either side of my body, one of her arms hold her close to me by looping around my neck while the other lays on my shoulder. My hands rest on her lower back. I groan as I tighten my hold on her, her scent somehow more overwhelming than yesterday.
She swats my chest. "Shhh, I'm sleeping." I chuckle at her, tilting my head up at an awkward angle in order to press a kiss to the top of her head.
"How are you feeling?" My voice is croaky with sleep. Her fingers begin to dance across my shoulder.
"Hot. ." Her short reply sounds unsure. I take her hands in mine, quickly flipping us around. A squeal leaves her lips before I place my lips of hers. I pin her hands beside her head, her fingers curling around my hands as best as they can. I don't know if she's aware that her legs wrap around my middle but she's certainly aware when I ground myself against her core. Her lips open in a breathy moan and I take the opportunity to slip my tongue in her mouth. I move my hips again, earning the sweetest of whimpers from her. I trail my lips down her neck, growling as she opens her neck further to me. I get to the junction between her neck and shoulder, pulling the flesh between my teeth as I give a harsh suck. Her hips begin to move with mine as I bite lightly at the flesh, pulling back and blowing on it with a steady breath. "Xavier. ." Her voice sounds incredibly needy and I feel myself begin to lose control. I stop all my movements, letting go of her hands to stop her own hips. "Xavier?" I close my eyes, leaning my forehead against her chest which heaves slightly in a more than enticing manner.
"I'm sorry, baby." I pull back, looking her over. Her shirt was bunched around her waist and her collarbone exposed to reveal a forming bruise. I run my finger over it and she shivers, trying to move her hips again. I run my hand over her thighs, pulling her legs from around me, massaging her outer thighs as I push them back to the bed. "Celeste, if we don't stop now then I don't know if I can trust myself to stop when it matters most." She turns a beautiful shade of pink as she nods. I press my lips lightly to hers.
"How about I go get us some breakfast?" She nods again, seemingly lost in ways of words. I press a brief kiss to her nose and she gives me one of her brilliant smiles.
It's hard to leave her but I manage to pry myself from my room and make my way down the stairs. A thought strikes me as I get downstairs and, instead of going towards the kitchen, I go to turn down the downstairs hallway. Just like last night, I catch Zay walking down towards me. She has an exhaustion about her that reminds me much of the state of myself when I returned last night. "Zay," I get her attention. "How is she?"
Her mouth opens and closes several times before she sighs. "I'm so sorry, Xavier." My heart drops as I still. "I did everything I could."