I wake up, a slight headache ringing as the sun shines brightly in my brown eyes. It's probably from crying all night. I yawn and move away from the stinging sunlight. Looking around me, I notice that it must still be early morning. The sky was an awakening orange. The birds are chirping away in the treetops. "The birds wish to say good morning to you," I quote one of the few things I remember Dad saying, "Say good morning back, dear Celestial." I look down, taking note that I shifted back some time in the night. I blush bright red as I take in my naked state. Wolves tend to be comfortable with nakedness as it tends to happen when shifting back and forth. I, however, have always been self conscious of my body. I was also scared. I shuddered thinking of the past.
I push myself up, taking note of the soreness in my body. Yea it's not exactly comfortable to sleep in a wolf's position in a human body. I probably couldn't stay shifted with all the energy I spent last night. Last night. . . The memories hit me suddenly and I find myself lurching back. A sob escapes my mouth as I turn around to throw up the small amount of food in my stomach. Mom. . She's gone. I wasn't strong enough to protect her. I ran like a coward. I frantically wipe the tears from my eyes and the saliva stringing from my lips. I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to go on. I wanted to lie here next to my vomit and wait for some creature to find me. But then Mom would have died for nothing. I couldn't let her death be in vain. I refused. Her and Dad both, they did nothing but protect me during my life. And they both paid the ultimate price for it.
I shift back to wolf form, not really wanting to stay naked out in the open. I have no idea where I am, not that I ever really have. I need to find clothes. As my bones snap into place, I sigh. While the first few shifts can be very painful, over time it becomes an almost relieving feeling. A comfortable feeling. I close my eyes as the shift consumes me and when I open my eyes, everything is more enhanced. I can see further than I do in my human form and everything is more enhanced, detailed. I take in the small bugs crawling under the leaves not too far from me, they almost blend in with the yellow and brown leaves. Everything sounds better as well. I can make out what sounds like a rabbit scurrying around the leaves maybe 50 or so feet away. The birds' chirps are louder than before. I shiver as a slight breeze weaves itself into my fur.
I stretch, letting out a yawn. I still feel pretty tired. Last night was draining in just about every way. My eyes begin to droop. I decide to hand control over to Ancillary. I can barely keep my eyes open but she'll be able to push us further. I accept the slight dizzy spell, it fades quick after Ancillary takes the full reigns. She shakes out our tiny form.
'Hello Celeste,' she sounds chipper. What the fuck is wrong with her?
'Ancillary,' I acknowledge her.
She takes off at a sprint. The breeze increases as it whips our fur around. Leaves crunch around our paws. I don't know where we're going but we have to keep moving, who knows where those rogues went in the night. Ancillary howls towards the sky and I find a small smile coming to mind. I don't want to be but her energy is always entwined with my own and I find her happiness spilling over. She jumps over small logs and rocks that are scattered around. Eventually I hear a small stream, Ancillary changes directions towards it. When we find it, it's small. Water running over rocks between trees and other vegetation. Ancillary runs through it, the cold water shocking me to be a bit more awake. She stops, taking a decent drink.
'Let's keep going,' I encourage. She takes off at a sprint again. I feel the energy we had gotten in the water starting to slip away but keep going. The autumn air nips at our snout and I find myself wishing I didn't have to feel everything when Ancillary is taking charge. The thought leaves though, when we jump over a few more rocks. I find myself letting out small laughs. The air now feels heavenly, as if it's helping us fly. Suddenly, Ancillary takes a jump, hitting the top of a rock and stumbling the rest of the way forward. I hear a snap as we land, pain quickly shooting up our back right paw. We skid forward and slam head first into a tree trunk, adding to the pain now coursing through our whole body. I whimper. Ancillary relinquishes control and the pain intensifies as I take it all on. With your wolf in charge, they take on maybe 20% of feelings but when you're in charge you take on just about all of it. It's quite unfair in my opinion but it's not like I get a say in the matter. 'Ancillary,' I try to reach her. No reply. 'Ancillary?' Nothing. 'What's going on? Where are you?' She remains silent, I feel worry coursing through me.
I try to shift back but pain coursing through my whole body stops me. I try again and become nauseous. It doesn't work. I can't push myself further. I whimper. The pain was almost unbearable the second time. Almost. I'd definitely rate this at least an 8 but I've never been good with pain. I lay my head down as softly as I can, deciding to wait until I hear. My healing is usually slower than other wolves so it could be a good minute. I count to 60 too many times before I realize that I don't seem to be healing at all.
I hear a twig snap. My heart rate shoots up faster than my head does. Oh Goddess. I try to look around, see where the noise came from. I whimper as my head turns in different directions, pain shooting from my head to my toes. All I see is the trees. I smell them before I see them. Three wolves, two of them shifted, emerge from the trees to my right. The man in human form has a good amount of power radiating off him, I can feel it from here. A beta probably. Shit, that means I wandered onto a pack. Usually you feel a shift when nearing or crossing a territory but I don't remember feeling that today. When I was with my old pack mates, we were always so careful. How could I be so careless? They're going to kill me. Mom died for nothing. The man is tall, probably 6' with a mop of brown hair slung across his forehead. His dark brown eyes seem to be filled with annoyance and anger. The two wolves on either side of him look similar, at least in their wolf forms. Large, reaching up to the man's chest in their shifted forms, brown eyes, as well as brown fur. Their fur and eyes are different shades but their movements and mannerism are pretty similar. I didn't dare move as fear riddled my body. The man let out a bone chilling growl before barking out, "What are you doing in this territory?!" His voice sends spikes of fear through my already scared body. Involuntarily, another whimper leaves me. I'd never been a fan of yelling. Especially when that yelling was in anger and directed towards me. "Shift!" His demand prompts the two wolves to growl, warning me to do as he says. I try to back up more which makes the two wolves growl again. Once again, I tried to shift. Internally, I was screaming. I was in so much pain. Still, I kept trying; eventually letting out a howl of pain and giving up with a tired huff.
When wolves are close enough, they should be able to mind link each other even if they weren't in the same pack. 'Please,' I tried to reach out to the two shifted wolves, 'I'm hurt. I need help. Please help me.' They didn't seem to hear me nor did they respond. I repeat my words again. Nothing. Again. They don't seem to hear me. I'm so confused.
The looks in their eyes shift to ones of confusion. I try pleading with my eyes. The man's eyes go stone cold with anger again. They're going to kill me. This is it, I'm going to die. I don't want to die. I can't die. I can't. I push myself back once again but the pain is still there. I have to get up. I have to run. I have to try. I can't die here. Not after. . . Oh Goddess, I'm so sorry Mom. I failed you. Again. 'Ancillary,' I beg. 'Help me!' I need her. I need my wolf. I need someone. She's been there for so long, encouraging and sometimes physically forcing me to keep going. She's everything that I'm not. 50% confidence, 25% crazy, 25% a total mom; always telling me what's best and what to do in times of need. Sure, her advice wasn't always sound but it made my life better. It made my life fun. She's been some of the only fun in my life for four years now. But right now? Right now I'm on my own. I need her confidence and craze. Or these beasts are going to kill me.
"I said shift! You will do as you're told you filthy rogue," he ended with a harsh growl. The authority he was trying to have didn't quite fit him. He took a step forward and I closed my eyes, curling into myself. I didn't hear anything but the nature and their heavy breaths. Opening my eyes again, the man's head was tilted to the side. He took a slow step this time, cautious almost. Was he going to help me? "Why aren't you shifting," he softly asked more to himself. He looked me over and shook his head. "I don't understand," his soft voice quickly grew back to irritation. "You're just doing this to frustrate me, aren't you?" The anger was back full swing now, making the fear that was almost ebbing away consume me again. I started shaking which only provoked the pain already shooting through my body. My head hurt. I gave up, my body slumping onto the ground fully, wishing for the earth to eat me up. I turned my head away from them. They all growled again. I felt my eyes turning back to them even though I wanted to go to sleep. Maybe if I was asleep, my death wouldn't hurt so bad. "Are you stupid? Or just a disrespectful bitch?" His words were harsh as he once again tried to force an authority that didn't suit him. "I told you to shift! You will do as I say! Do you hear me?!" I swear I saw some trees shake with the power of his voice. He snarled and turned to the wolves a few steps behind him. I saw the wolves eyes glaze over, they were mind linking each other. When I was younger, I remember thinking Mom or Dad were ignoring me when they would mind link each other or our Alpha.
Dad. . . He was so strong. One of our top warriors before the attack. He was my hero. He was always there when I needed him. Goddess, what would he think of me now? One little trip and all of a sudden I'm about to be killed. When he died, I felt like everything was over. Sure I had Mom but she was in mourning like so many of us and she was so depressed without him.
The two wolves huffed, turning back to watch my every move. Perhaps they were waiting for a reason to attack. The man hadn't spoken in a minute but the frustration was still clear in his eyes.
I refuse to die here. I tried to shift again. A dizziness started spreading through my head, my vision getting fuzzy. I pushed and pushed, begging my body to shift. The pain was increasing but if I could just shift back then I can explain to them what happened. The pain began to burn while it felt like my organs were being stabbed. I howled and slumped back down, any remaining strength I had now gone. I took heavy breaths. They looked me over again, my pain obvious, and the man rolled his eyes. What kind of person just stands there while someone is in pain? I mean. . . I've known much worse people through the years so it honestly shouldn't surprise me.
"Hush you," the man snarls, "he's almost here."
I bit my tongue. Who's 'he'? Panic coursed through me as I realized that whoever he is, he's probably going to kill me. Or maybe they'll torture me, thinking there's some plot I have no clue of. Death might be the easiest way out after all.
The man and the wolves circled me and. . took a seat? They all watched my minimal movements carefully. If I am going to die, that's okay. I mean, it's not. It's really not. But I'd be with Mom and Dad again. That's okay. I love them so much. Twigs were snapping again. I didn't bother to look up, the pain wasn't worth it. That was, until a scent made its way to my nose. Goddess, it smelled heavenly. Rain and. . Coconut. Definitely. I took a deep breath as the man with the heavenly smell emerged from a few trees. His eyes were wide as he took in the scene. Once they landed on me, he let out a growl that made me feel wobbly in a good way. "Mine!"