I stared at him in disbelief. "M-mates?" I don't know why I hadn't thought of it before. The way he phrased things, his comforting scent, the tingles I've never felt with anyone before. Looking back, I have always known about mates but I can't recall ever asking or being told about any of the things one might experience with their mate. It didn't seem right. He's an Alpha. I'm just a runt. Why would the Moon Goddess do that to him? I'd also full heartedly believed that I wouldn't get a mate. Or that maybe they had died. I knew it was illogical but. .
"It's okay, little one. There's no need to be scared." I pushed myself off his chest, biting my lip as I bumped my leg on the bed. I glance up at Al- Xavier, confusion and worry probably written clear across my face. He pushes himself up gently, as to not move the bed too much. "You do know what that means, right?" Oh yeah, cause I'm a rogue so I must not know things. Nonetheless, I nod; pain shoots down my spine from the action. Damn, I'm getting really tired of this.
"Of course I do. It's just that. . . I thought I wouldn't have a mate."
His eyebrows scrunch together in confusion. "Why would you think that?" I look away from him, memories flashing through my head. Memories I don't like to hold. Memories I would give anything to forget. "It's okay, if you don't want to talk about it. You need to rest now." I nod slightly, enough to knock some hair in front of my face. He reaches out a hand, I flinch. He sighs, smiling gently at me. "Is it okay if I stay? Just for a bit? I can leave if it makes you more comfortable." I look up at him, his green eyes sparkling with hope. Hesitantly, I brought my hand to his that was resting between us on the bed.
"You can stay." I gently lay myself down, my eyes closing automatically. I felt Al- Xavier. I felt Xavier lay down next to me but I was out before I knew it.
~*~*~*~
Xavier's POV
Celeste. I look at her as she falls asleep on my bed. She's so tiny, even in this state. She seems so fragile, I worry I could break her with a harsh stare. She seems so. . . opposite. . of me. I guess one could say. How could she be my mate? One part of me feels like the Moon Goddess could have done better for her. Someone softer, someone with a less intense life. The other part of me wants to mark her right now, claim her in every single way. I even get flash thoughts of locking her away in this room, where the outside world can't hurt her. She's so beautiful. Even with dirt smudged on her cheek and leaves stuck in her hair. I begin to untangle the visible tangles in her hair, pulling out anything stuck in it. She shifts herself closer to me, nuzzling her head into my hip. I lay myself down, draping my arm over her. She continues to nuzzle herself into me. I wonder if she would do this in an okay mind set. Sure she did it today but today's probably been a lot for her. I still don't know what happened to her before the guys found her. She seemed scared though. Not just of the guys but of me too. I press a gentle kiss to her forehead.
Glancing around the room as best I can in this position, I note for the first time how dark everything seems. The wall facing outside, with a decent balcony and floor to ceiling windows, is a dark mahogany. The accompanying walls are painted in a similar hugh. The dresses, shelves, wall trimming, curtains, and even my bed are all black. The bed takes up a decent portion of the room, the only color in the room being the gray fur blanket laying on it. My connected bathroom and closet were lighter in color but the walls are still painted a shade of brown. At least the balcony windows let lots of light flood the room. They also give the view of the pack's training grounds and you can make out the forest beyond to the right. I like to look over my pack, I'm proud of all of our work; my families and the pack. I don't know her well yet but I don't think she'd enjoy the darkness of the room. I'll get her her own room but I'll also redecorate this one if she wants me to. Hell, I'd redo the entire pack house if she'd like.
Celeste. Even her name is beautiful. I quietly say her name aloud, loving the way it rolls off my tongue. As if she can hear me in her sleep, her arm moves to my chest. This all reassures my mind that she's indeed my mate. Until I caught her smell earlier, a heavenly vanilla and berries, I was beginning to lose hope of finding my mate. My pack needs a Luna and I was worried that I'd have to pick a Luna soon, even if we weren't mates. That would have been unfair to everyone directly involved but it's not unheard of. I'm glad I found her before I started searching for an alternative.
My thoughts drift back to Celeste when I first heard that a rogue had entered the territory. The guys had informed me when they smelled a rogue but, after assuring me they only smelled one, they said they had it handled. It was surprising, to say the least, when the guys asked me to actually come. Jared let me know she was a runt when they spotted her but it became clear that he was convinced she was some sort of trick. I called for extra warriors to start rounds, just in case. It was as I was on my way there that Josh mind linked me that he didn't think she was a danger and that he was worried. He thought she was perhaps a young wolf, gone too far from her parents after shifting for probably one of the first comfortable times. When I got there and I saw the fear in her eyes, the state of her. She's small, especially in wolf form. I don't know much about rogues but I was pretty confident that if I were her size I'd think to run between them. At least get off of territory lines. Without any damage done, we likely wouldn't have pursued her too far from the pack if at all. Which made me wonder, what was she doing there?
She's a rogue, my wolf growled. Of course she was in the woods, what kind of a stupid question is that? I rolled my eyes. The real question, he continued, is why is our mate a rogue in the first place? She doesn't seem like the criminal type.
I thought about it and he's right. She doesn't seem like the criminal type. If she were born a rogue, she'd likely be killed when she first shifted. Maybe her pack threw her out when it was confirmed? The thought of a younger and potentially smaller Celeste being thrown out into the cold and dark made a growl rumble in my chest. Celeste whimpered in her sleep, stiffening. I quickly stop myself, bringing my other hand to once again play with her hair. She settles again and I breathe a sigh of relief. My wolf continued to growl in my head as my thoughts continued to run.
I shake my head. I can worry about that later. Right now, she's still hurt. She's not healing. She couldn't shift back on her own. I may not know much about runts but it still feels abnormal. I need to figure out what's going on. I let myself lay with her for another ten or so minutes before forcing myself up. When I leave the bed, she grabs ahold of the pillow I was just laying on and pulls it close. I go to the closet, quickly putting on a shirt and grabbing an extra pillow I have before slowly propping her injured leg on it. I take the side of the blanket I was laying on and fold her over her. I stand at the door for what was probably too long before forcing myself out.
I'm lost in my running thoughts as I quickly make my way down the stairs. Bumping into someone, I reach out to steady them lest they fall. The smaller shoulders let me know it's a woman. I look up, finding exactly who I was going to look for. Zay has been my friend since childhood. Her and Jared were the last Beta's kids and I, being one of the Alpha's kids, naturally spent a lot of time around them. Lots of ceremonies and dinners where we were set next to each other, I've always been very grateful that we all get along. I would consider her and Jared to be some of my closest friends. Growing up, our parents often teased us that her and I would end up together. When we got to the age of being able to find our mates, their hope dimmed a bit. That small light only extinguished when it became clear that we had a little too much in common. One of those things was our taste in girls growing up. She later met her mate, Shia, and nothing could tear those two apart. Absolutely nothing.
"Alpha Xavier?" I know the question is just her testing the waters. I don't like them calling me Alpha, not my closest friends, and they only did it when we were in professional settings or when I was on edge.
"I'm okay, Zay. Celeste is comfortable in my room right now, resting. I still need answers. Did you learn anything?" She gave a reluctant smile and nod.
"I can treat her, for sure, when she wakes up; but until the new moon is over she likely won't heal."
My eyebrows furrow together, "Why?"
"As we all know, werewolves heal pretty fast. I'd say probably five times the rate of a human at the very least. I've never personally encountered a runt before so I made a few calls, did some quick reading. Runts are different, apparently in quite a few ways. In this case, it's the moon affecting her healing."
"The moon?" I knew we got our gifts from the Moon Goddess and that we have many celebrations surrounding different moon phases and cycles but besides that I knew the moon didn't literally affect us.
"Yes. Unlike most wolves, runts actually rely on the moon for a lot of strengths that we experience regularly. We're in a new moon right now and apparently, in a new moon, runts can't access a lot of our abilities; such as quick healing. Her healing will begin again tomorrow, with the waning moon. It seems very likely that the healing will still be slow but it will be better than a human's still. If she doesn't fully heal in the next few weeks, I fully believe that her healing will completely return at the next full moon."
I took several deep breaths. My wolf was angry. I was confused. Was this a regular thing? Is that why there are so few runts? Is she more likely to die in the future due to this weakness? And. . . A shameful part of me was wondering if she could actually be my Luna. If she can face the challenges and stress that comes with running a pack this large. If she was too. . weak to be with me. These thoughts made my wolf angrier. They made me angry too but more so sad. I refuse. She's destined for me and she'll be with me until the end. I won't let her go. I won't.
"Thank you, Zay. Is there anything else you learned?"
She shook her head, "No, but I can keep researching. Make a few more calls. Surely there's a pack out there with a good amount of experience with runts. Let her rest as much as she wants but when she wakes up I'd like to see her again. I need to get her leg in an actual cast so she doesn't hurt herself further. I also noted a lot of soreness she seemed to be feeling. Did you two talk at all?" I nodded. "That's good, she's probably just a bit banged up. I was worried about a fractured rib but I doubt it if she was comfortable enough to hold a solid conversation. I'll still look her over for anything else but I'm pretty hopeful." I felt my shoulders fall, releasing a tension I wasn't consciously aware was there. I turned to go back upstairs, now that I had my answers. "Oh, and Xavier?" I stopped, turning my head back to Zay. "Congratulations. I'm excited to get to know her." A smile made its way on my lips.
"Thank you, Zay." I turn back around, jogging my way back to my room.
When I reached the door, I paused. I leaned my head against the door, collecting my thoughts and feelings for a few minutes. I open the door as quietly as I can, not wanting to disturb her rest. Her scent hits my nose before I can even see her. I breathe it in heavily. Vanilla and berries. Reminds me of a fruit tart Mom onced baked for Lesa and I. I haven't thought of that tart in years but now I want to bake it for Celeste, feed it to her as I hold her in my lap. She's still sleeping beautifully. Light snores come from her mouth as she tightly grips my pillow. I can't stop myself from picking her up and holding her to me as I sit down in the bed, being careful of her bandaged leg. Now that Zay mentioned it, I can see slight bruises forming and a few scratches over her bare arms and other leg. It's very common for werewolves to get scratches as we go through the woods but they healed so quickly we often didn't actually see them. She let go of my pillow and grabbed ahold of my shirt, pulling herself as close as possible. In her adjustment, she tried to move her injured leg up. Her eyes shoot open as a yelp escapes her mouth. Tears quickly line her eyes. She started to struggle in my hold. Worried about her hurting herself further, I put one hand on the thigh of her injured leg and with my other arm I tighten my hold on her. When that doesn't stop her panic, I move my arm away from her waist and start to stroke her hair, whispering things along the line of, "It's okay. You're safe. Please calm down." It's not until I gently tug her hair and make her look in my eyes that she calms down. Several tears have made their way down her cheeks, I'm unsure if it's due to pain or panic. She searches my eyes for several moments before she furrows her brows, laying herself back on my chest.
That's the thing about mates, you get lost in them. The way they look, smell, feel. Your souls are connected and even if you normally wouldn't with a person, you can't help but want them. Once you touch them, you never want to let go. Once you smell them for the first time, you want to bottle it up to be sprayed around you at all times. Once you look into their eyes, you want to get lost in them forever. Their eyes are a never ending abyss that you can't help but want to study every inch of. They are your weakness, a pleasurable destruction.
I kiss the top of her head, glad she's stopped her panic. It's another few moments before her breathing evens out. "Are you okay, now?" After a brief hesitation she nods. "Good." I close my eyes, taking in the feeling of her in my arms; the tingles shooting through my body, her heavenly scent surrounding us, the calmest I'd ever felt my mind be. That was until she started to push away from me. I don't let go.
"C-can you put me down?" She glances back up at me. My wolf internally growls at the slight fear that lays within them.
"We actually need to go see Zay, unless you'd like to go back to sleep for a bit?" She shakes her head. "Is it okay if I carry you back down? Zay said your leg is sprained and I don't want to injure it further." Fear consumes her eyes. "What's wrong?" She looks away. I don't like that. I pull her chin back in my direction, her gaze meeting mine.
"No more needles. . Please." I frown.
"That's not up to me, I'm sorry, but your health and safety are top priority. If Zay needs to give you another shot or take some blood, then we have to do that, okay?" She shakes her head, her breathing getting faster. "How about," I say, thinking up an idea, "I run you a nice hot bath while I talk with Zay. Maybe she'll have other ways to go about any necessary treatments?" Her shoulders slump, relieved. "Okay, I'm gonna set you back down. Please stay in bed. When Zay gets your leg in a cast I'll help you downstairs and we can go wherever you want. I'm sure Zay has crutches somewhere if you do want to walk." She nods. I put her down on my bed, quickly going to my ensuite bathroom. I push around under the sink. I know I have some bath salts in here somewhere. I don't think I've used them before but I remember seeing them when I had the bathroom redone when I first became Alpha. I happily find not only the bath salts but also a eucalyptus bubble bath. After I get the water to a comfortable temperature, I set down the plug and pour in the bubble bath. I've never used bath salts before but I think you're supposed to pour them in at the end? Not quite knowing, I throw them in when the water is half full. After the tub fills up to a comfortable height, I go back to my room to get Celeste. She was facing the glass doors, looking out at the pack; seemingly lost in thought. "I'm going to pick you up again," her head whipped towards me, "is that okay?" She hesitated for a second before nodding. Rounding the bed, I pick her up bridal style. She doesn't lay against my chest this time and even though we're not going far, I can't help but wish she did. "Is it okay if I just place you in? I don't want to make you uncomfortable, I don't mind if the shirt gets wet." She doesn't respond but I take it as a yes. She hisses as I lower her into the water, making my wolf whine. I grab her a washcloth, laying it over the side of the tub. "I'll bring you some more clothes but you can stay in here as long as you want." She nods. I wish I knew what she was thinking. Without closing the bathroom door, I go back to my closet and pick out another shirt as well as a pair of my boxers. I'll have someone bring her some more appropriate clothes later today but right now I'm more concerned about her injuries. I go back to the bathroom, bringing a chair that was in the corner of my closet to set the clothes on as well as a towel. "We'll go see Zay after you're done." With that, I leave the bathroom.
I go downstairs to the kitchen. The light is on in Zay's office, I hear her mumbling to someone over the phone. More research I hope. I scrounge around the cabinets, trying to think of something she might like. Does she prefer sweet? Or savory? Maybe some basic protein? In the end I end up making her a chicken sandwich with some strawberries on the side. Before I even get back to my room, I can tell something is wrong. I can smell it in the air. It smells like blood and sick. I barge my way into the bathroom, practically throwing the plate of food on the counter. Celeste is low in the water, her head tilted away from me. Her nose is barely above water. The bubbles have rescinded and the water is a soft pink. There's a trail of red coming from her head. Her head was injured? How did we miss that? I practically throw myself on the floor, pulling her further up before snaking a hand down to unplug the drain. "Celeste? Hey Celeste, can you hear me?" Her eyes flutter. That's good. She's still awake. I yank the towel from the chair behind me, the clothes fall but I don't care. I wrap it around her, trying to pick her up quickly but also in a gentle manner. She's warm. Too warm. "I need you to stay away, okay?" She mumbles incoherently. I tap her cheek and stroke my thumb across it. Her eyes open a bit more. "Look at me, Celeste." Her eyes trail in several directions. "Celeste, little one." Nothing. I curse under my breath and switch to my Alpha tone, "Look at me." Her eyes don't fully open but they do turn to meet mine. Her beautiful brown orbs look muddled and confused. "Good. I want you to keep your eyes open, keep them on me, okay?" She mumbles again but her eyes stay on me.
Faster than I thought possible, I carry Celeste back to Zay's office. The door hits my shoulder and bounces off the wall. Zay is already at the ready, she must have heard me making my way down. "Alpha, please lay her down," she motions towards the bed. A light sheen of sweat had coated Celeste's forehead but her eyes stayed trained on me. I brush her hair away from her forehead and kiss her temple.
"Her head, Zay. There's a cut or something on the back." There's an anger in my voice I can't hold back. I'm mad at Zay and myself. We should have noticed. We should have checked. Celeste's hair is still matted, she didn't even get to wash it. Zay pushes her hair aside as best as she can. My wolf is pacing and growling. I tell him to shut up. A sour smell floats around the room. I haven't encountered many but I know the smell of infection when I cross it. Zay's eyes are wide with worry and fear for her future Luna. "Help her," I can't help but growl out. "Please," my voice cracks. Celeste's eyes are unfocused, slipping down. "Don't you dare, little one. You keep those eyes open and you keep them on me." A bit of clarity flashes across her gaze. I grab her hand, squeezing tightly.
"Alpha?" When I look up again, Zay is assembling an assortment of tools on a small rolling table she has beside her. When she grabbed it, I don't know. "Can you grab the pack of paper towels from my desk? Grab a bowl of hot water and put a decent amount in." I nod, letting go of my mate's hand to do as Zay says. I refuse to leave the room so I use her sterile sink to fill up a small bowl from her cabinet. I swear that cabinet has everything one could ever need. I hand the items to Zay and she gets to work cleaning Celeste's head. "I'm sorry Celeste but I'm going to cut a bit of your hair. It's pretty matted and I can't quite see."
I round my way back to Celeste, bringing her hand back to mine. She looks back at me. I kiss her knuckles, running my thumb over them. "You'll be alright, I promise. I only just met you and I'm not letting you go anytime soon."
"Alpha, you may want to wait outside."