I'm sitting on our ship, lost in thought. What was I going to do now, what was I going to do? I lost my father and it's all their fault, the imperial's fault. Because of them I lost my father, the man who raised me, who brought me up. Mom, I broke my promise to you, I'm sorry... You told me to protect my father, you told me that he was a very talented and intelligent man, but he was also an adventurous fool, you asked me to protect him and be his sanity and now I have broken that promise... I was a fool, I was foolish to take this job, my father, the one you called a fool, saw the risks and didn't want to take this job, but my young foolish mind insisted on taking this job. Because of my youthful ambition, I thought it would bring us good money. I caused my father's death and it's all my fault. "Damn it!" I shouted, banging my fist against the wall. Lena rushed in to the room with hearing my shouts "Beren..." she was looking at me with sad eyes, she sat next to me. She was silent for a while, thinking what to say, what could she say, what could she do, what could ease this disgusting guilt, this pain that buried my heart in darkness...
"Beren please don't blame yourself, there was nothing you could do. None of us expected a Arm of The Emperor (name of the emperor's special soldiers) to be there, you couldn't have known that. Your father was a skilled warrior but there was nothing he could do against a Arm of The Emperor, neither could you, so he chose to sacrifice himself to save us all, especially you. Please don't destroy yourself, we need you." The words cut deep, part of me wanted to believe them, to forgive myself. But the part of my heart that was buried in darkness rejected these words, if anyone else had said them I would have killed them in anger, the darkness inside me had grown so big, but it was Lena, I would never hurt her. I couldn't say anything, I just looked into Lena's eyes, I just looked at her with eyes that showed that with the death of my father, I had lost not only my father but also a part of myself. Lena felt heartbroken seeing me like this, she put her hand on my cheek and wiped my tear with her thumb.
"If your father were here right now he would scold you and would say" she put her hand to her mouth in a fist and coughed a little and then she deepened her voice, and tried to copy my father voices and say "ehm ehm 'Son, stop crying like a girl, if you are sad then don't be sad, if you feel guilty then don't feel guilty, just get up and move on, because that's life son. You can be sad as much as you want, you can feel guilty, you can be stuck in the past, even if you are stuck in the past, life will go on. So you don't want to be left behind, so get up and run son, run and grab life, grab it and embrace it, because life is beautiful son, appreciate life and live your life, good advice from this old man. Now get up!' I don't know if it was a trick of my eyes listening to those words, but behind Lena I saw him, my father. Seeing him, I felt as if it was my father speaking those words. So I stood up and turned to Lena and thanked her, I thanked her a thousand times with tears in my eyes. Lena stood up with a smile on her face and wiped the tears from my eyes again and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "What do we do now, captain?".