"Terence..."
"Hmm?"
"What?!" My eyes flung open, and I whipped my head to where I heard the sound from and—
"Who's Terence?" There he was, the very man who I've been comparing to another man so much that I ended up dreaming about the day we first met. Maybe I was hearing things?
"Wha—what do you mean?" I rubbed my eyes, sat down, and faced Leon as I pulled the duvet closer to myself. "Did I say something?" I know I did, but I just want to make sure he heard the name from me and not someone else.
"Seems like you were dreaming. A rather nice one too, I'd bet. You were smiling," he paused to turn a page of what seemed like another ledger to me. I couldn't make out what exactly because it was already in the wee hours of the night and the only candle dancing was the small one on Leon's side table.
"He's... uh, someone I used to, uh, be in a relationship with." I flinched when he suddenly closed the ledger, it's sound slapping me awake before he placed it aside.
"I see..." he sounded then blew the candle out which made the hairs on my nape stood in attention.
Though he was clearly ready for bed, the only movement I was able to note was him finding a comfortable spot while leaning on the bed's cushioned headboard.
"W-well, if you don't have any more questions, I..." I paused to find the other end of my side of the duvet so I can slide back in and continue to sleep, but the moment I succeeded in finding it, and was about to lay back, strong hands pulled my arm so roughly, I felt like I was being dragged by a giant to the other side of the bed. However, the moment I looked up to give him a piece of my mind, I stopped when I realized that half of my body hovered above him in a sort of compromising position.
I was on my knees, his left hand holding onto my right wrist, my other hand supporting my weight on his right side. My face just a few inches from his, not to mention our chests touching together when we breathe.
"What?" My voice trembled a little, and I swallowed some air. "Let go of me."
Isn't this kind of situation what you've always wanted, Isa?, a sly voice popped in my head.
"How long were you in a relationship with this man? Does he live in Vlona or in Reka?" his tone was flat, and I can smell a hint of mint in his breath. "What does he do for a living?"
"A-about a year? He lives in the Capital." I answered monotonously as if we were casually sipping tea somewhere cozy.
"Did you love him?"
My brow rose. Did I love Terence? Of course, I did. I'd move mountains for him. What is he—
"Did you love him?" Leon's voice felt bigger, bolder... madder. His grip on my arm tightened.
"Ah! Wait, you're hurting me."
"Then answer my question already," he repeated, tugging me closer, his grip softer. But now... now I'm literally on top of him. Not hovering. No, no, no. This is clearly my body against his body.
Breathe, Isa, breathe. If you look at it at a different angle, you're practically being threatened right now so stop fantasizing! I want to slap myself a couple of times to wake up to the reality, but he's got my arms, and my other hand's rather difficult to move, and this... me on top of him position made it even more difficult for me to do anything other than admire his chiseled jaw and another subtle crease in between his stubbled chin.
I took a deep breath and averted my eyes, asking, "Why do you want to know?"
"Do you still love him?"
"Why do you want to know?" I repeated. I'm not going to lose this one just because his lips are so close that I could kiss him if I moved up a little.
He paused for a heartbeat and I lifted my head. "Never mind," Leon rolled his eyes before he released me. After that, he sighed a loud one and sat down, forcing me to get up as well. "I'm sorry if I was too rough," he said with his back to me. And without as much as a glance, he stood up and left the bed.
"Where are you going?" I asked, and he simply answered me with 'water'.
******
Water.
That's what he said he's getting, but it's been a while and he's not back still. When my eyes darted to the small table on the corner of the bedroom, there it was, a jug full of water with two silver cups faced down on its matching saucers. So, what kind of water was on the other side of the room because I clearly don't remember having one there?
My brows furrowed and when a minute passed without me hearing any signs that he's on his way back, I grabbed a handful of my duvet and threw it to the side.
"Leon," I called. My hands wrapped around myself. "We didn't finish our talk."
"Hmm," he sounded, gulping the remainder of what seemed like fermented liquor of some sort, then there was nothing. He didn't look at me anymore, he didn't stand up from his table... he did absolutely nothing!
I closed my eyes and prayed to the Heavens to give me so much patience in par with that of a saint.
"If you want to know if I love him, then yes. I did." I walked closer to him, my arms folded in front of me. "And if you want to know if I still love him," I paused—which I later knew wasn't a good idea, but I was thinking! "No. I don't think I still do. It has been two years since we broke up. And I was the one who broke things off. Now that I've answered your question, you have to answer mine. Why do you want to know?" By the time I reached his table, he leaned back and looked straight me, his arms resting on the chair's equally cushioned arms.
If looks could strip clothes, I would be standing here naked as his eyes darted to different parts of my body. Feeling uncomfortable by the sudden inspection, I grabbed my robe and retied it tighter; making sure to cover my breasts too because I was wearing a lowcut nightgown.
When he's had his fill of admiring me, Leon suddenly stood up that froze on the scene. I watched him push his seat back, placed the small glass beside the bottle of half full liquor and walked towards me. Leon kept his eyes on me, steady, piercing, devouring.
I gulped some air, my hands shifted; one across my chest, grabbing my shoulder, then the other, lower, at my side. But even though I was clearly bracing myself for whatever might happen, this didn't stop my future husband-to-be. Leon continued to walk towards me until I backed up wall.
"Say my name," he bent down and whispered.
Before I made a sound, Leon took another small step forward, further pinning me. He had his arm on the wall and his other hand on his waist, leaning forward, he bent even lower probably to hear my reply. "What?" was all I ever managed to say with my head down.
This is exactly one of the things that I want to happen between, but it should be more teasing and less interrogating about a former lover whose name slipped from my mouth with a smile.
"Say my name," he said again, and a tingle ran from my feet to the ends of my hair when I felt his breath on my ear. "I won't step away until I hear you say my name."
"A-are you drunk?" Of course he's not drunk! Just look at him, all sober and handsome and strong, and... that faint smell of my lavender soap. I couldn't help but close my eyes for a second. My heart was beating so fast I'd bet he could hear it. Leon, please this is making uncomfortable for me."
"Say my name then." But I already did! "Look at me and say my name."
What? My head started to turn. The closeness, his warmth hitting me in waves, his ragged, dry voice filling my ears.
Can I look at him? I just need to stop looking at my clenched fist that fell to my side and turn my head then this will all be over.
All over.
Oh, I can't! I can't face him. For the love of the Heavens, I'll rather be swallowed by some kind of—
My world stopped.
At first, I didn't know what was happening. It was all too sudden. I didn't know where to put my hands, I didn't know if I should keep my eyes closed or open. The bitter taste of whatever liquor he had made me furrow my brows, but most importantly, breathe, Isa! Breathe!
"Ah, Leon, wait..." I gasped. Heavens, I was gasping for air! I placed a hand on his hard chest for support and I felt his free arm around the small of my waist pulling me closer.
"Good, you finally said my name," he said with a smirk, and I braced myself for another one. I closed my eyes when I felt him move but instead of feeling his lips on mine, I felt it on my temple instead. "I don't want my wife saying another man's name so happily in her dreams." He kissed me on my temple again and before he took his hand off my cheek I grabbed it.
I grabbed it and placed on my hips, my hands reached out to him and wrapped itself around his neck. Since he was taller, I tiptoed when I whispered, "Then make me forget."