There, after some time...
I don't understand! No matter what I do, nothing works out for me. What have I not tried? And mentally "touch" the channels and the core, also mentally trying to force them to change. Nothing comes of it. But I refuse to give up, not here and not now. I felt my future depended on it.
Repeating the previous actions (you never know what will happen), I thought. What am I doing wrong? What should be done? What should I do? All these questions brought me into a state of meditation. As I said earlier, there is meditation within oneself and without. So why can't you meditate within yourself, but only on a certain part of yourself? For example, my seventh shell, my magical beginning? I realized all this later when I remembered and analyzed the moment.
While in a state of meditation, and for me it manifests itself in a crystal clear and concentrated mind, not clouded by feelings, I began to learn about my seventh shell. I realized it for a long time and what I managed to understand did not make me happy.
How to say, my shell is not active and has never been (meaning it has never worked in active mode like ordinary magicians) in a working state. That is, even if I can put mana into the channels, they simply will not be able to hold and circulate mana within themselves, and they may even collapse. And I don't want this at all. And that's not the worst thing. The worst thing is that all my channels were clogged with some kind of dark liquid. She even looked disgusted, to say nothing of the sensations when I tried to "touch" her. It felt like I had been plunged into the most musty cesspool of my life. Unpleasant sensations.
I didn't know what to do with it. One thing was clear - I needed to somehow expand and compact the channels, and only then think about what to do with this liquid.
I thought about this problem for a long time. My core does not produce enough energy, and what can I say, it produces virtually none at all. But I can't make it work better, that is, I can't initiate it.
Remembering Rudazov's books, I understood that I needed to get energy from somewhere to initiate my magical beginning. Young neophytes meditated on external sources of energy. Why am I worse? Right? Right. It's worth a try.
After an indefinite amount of time...
It didn't work out for me. No matter how I tried to meditate on the surrounding space, there was no point. In principle it is logical. When magicians meditated on the surrounding space, they tried to sense it with one of their senses and understand the world through them. They, these feelings, were completely absent from me, and I didn't have and don't have a sixth sense, I hope so far...
Thinking about all this, I came to one solution that was right for me - an equal exchange. Everything in the world is energy, no matter what, but energy. And one type of energy flows into another type. For example, potential energy is converted into kinetic energy. So why don't I borrow energy from other shells? They are all intertwined and interact with each other. So why can't energy flow from one shell to another?
Inspired by this idea, I began to think about how to implement this, not realizing what it could lead to.
Inspecting my shells, I came to a disappointing conclusion. I don't have a choice as such. Why? But because the first and second shells are in stasis. The third, that is, the astral body (aura), is more expensive to get into, it's not for nothing that they wrote everywhere that injuries to the astral body are incredibly difficult to heal. I won't dare to climb into the sixth shell, my memory and mind, for a very long time, remembering my fear of losing personal memories.
All that remains is the fifth principle, my feelings... Having realized this, I did not immediately begin trying to transfer energy. No matter what anyone says, it's scary to reach into your soul with your crooked little hands. But you have to climb.
The first thing I did was "feel" the place of contact between the fifth and seventh shells. The point of contact was blurry boundaries, like clouds that intersected with each other. Channels ran from the seventh shell to the points of contact. It was through them that I tried to transfer energy from the fifth to the seventh shell.
The first attempts were of course unsuccessful. I just didn't know how to approach it. After many attempts, I tried to isolate a certain feeling, representing it as energy, and direct it through these channels to the core, in order to initiate it (launch). And you know, I succeeded. True, small feelings, such as nostalgia, did not bring the required amount of energy. So after several attempts, I began to highlight my most vivid emotions. And they were fury, anger, hatred, heartache, fear, and of course, love. These emotions occupied more space in the part of the astral shell responsible for feelings.
True, I did not consider the option that there would be too much energy. At first everything was fine. Energy flowed into my core in a small stream. Because of this, the core began to gradually activate. With every drop of emotional energy, the core began to beat faster and stronger. While the core was gaining momentum, I, not paying attention to its replenishment, began to monitor the mana entering my channels. Gradually she moved along the channels, thereby strengthening and bringing them out of hibernation. I locked the excess energy in the core so as not to harm the channels.
After an indefinite period of time, when the channels were sufficiently strengthened and I was about to begin cleansing them, I began to feel incredibly painful. Having given up everything, I began to look for the source of the pain. I found it. Or rather, even them. The core and fifth shell ached. While I was not following the "conversion" process, it was gaining momentum. The fifth shell itself began to intertwine with the seventh shell. And the mana contained in the core began to harm him, inflating him like a rubber ball.
Noticing this, I immediately directed mana into the channels with one purpose - removing impurities. Mana flowed through the channels in a stormy stream, striving to achieve the goal. With that done, I moved on to solving the first problem. Having stopped the "transformation" of emotions, I began to "unravel" the fifth and seventh shells.
It was difficult, incredibly difficult. One of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. But I managed, after an indefinite amount of time. Glancing at the fifth shell, I realized that it had become smaller, much smaller.
Having switched attention to the core, the realization came that there was still a lot of mana left, and the work was over. There were no more impurities in my channels. And mana has nowhere to go. Just realizing this, I felt a push. An incredibly strong shock, so strong that I began to lose consciousness. With the rest of my fading mind, I managed to command mana to expand, strengthen and deepen my seventh shell.
The same place a few hours earlier...
At the point of contact between various planes and energies (or is this their source? Who knows?), one lost soul drifted. It looked like a ball of blue-gray flame burning. She had been drifting here for a long time, but today something changed. She began to change... Then fade, then flare up. It changed color from gray-blue to just gray or to dark dark blue, almost black.
But at one moment it froze... Black liquid began to ooze from its borders. As soon as she began to appear, she immediately burned out in the confusion of energies that were in this place.
Finally this too stopped. And everything seems to be fine. Everything is fine with my soul, it has stopped being distorted. There is no black liquid. But not everything is so rosy. The very presence of a soul in this place goes nowhere, but the presence of a black liquid, which is a product of the real world, contradicts the very essence of this place. And space did not tolerate it; it decided to get rid of the primary source of this "matter".
The space around the soul began to crumble and a stream of energy pushed the soul into the resulting gap. As soon as the soul disappeared behind the breach, all the fragments of the breach quickly fell into place. It was as if nothing had happened.
Just a small detail. The soul was originally blue-gray in color, but at the moment of disappearance it was already gray-blue.
But this doesn't affect anything? Is not it? Or not?..