Life defies logic; only fools seek sense in every step.
Moon Sickness
Well, man, I was sitting there in the last cabin of the stinky toilet on the second floor, locked in here in the middle of my third class. Why did I prefer this place more than my PE lesson? The answer was only one word: Jo. More precisely, it was the scarlet fluid flowing in Jo's veins.
Even though I took three of my pills in the morning, by the end of the second class their effects were completely gone. There was a moment in the break, a single brief moment when I felt a seriously overwhelming desire to taste the girl. I know I'm an idiot, a soulless monster — no need to say it out loud, I've heard it enough in my head and hence I've been spending my voluntary exile in the toilet.
I tried to concentrate and recall Alistair's visit yesterday.
While I was sure he already knew everything, I hadn't seen him since the gremlin kid incident — it wasn't even weird. Since I've been living my own life, he spent more and more time away. One thing in his visit was unusual: he visited me not at work, but at home, not long after my shift.
Alex opened a door and that led to tragedy. The wolf attacked him immediately. This was also surprising because I believed my best friend to be a devotee of peaceful solutions, and he knew that the fae was not an enemy — or at least might have guessed that there was some kind of business relationship between us.
Alistair, of course, easily avoided his fist and rather stepped into the apartment. That's when I got out of the kitchen. He apologized and asked Alex to follow him — and he marched into the room. The wolf obeyed the request but almost trembled with anger.
Alistair returned within two minutes, alone.
"What did you do to Alex?" I asked.
"I knocked him out," he replied simply as if it was a completely normal solution.
After that, we quietly walked into the kitchen and took a seat at the table. Alistair then took out the alcohol that had been hidden so far, then turned to me with a questioning look. I shook my head. Still, he waved at the kitchen cabinet and the door of which creaked open in an instant. After this, he floated two slender wine glasses to the table. I've always watched the fae's magic with huge, sparkling eyes, which he usually regarded with a gentle smile.
"It's urgent, I couldn't postpone it. Tomorrow would be too late," he explained as the magically enchanted bottle filled the glasses.
"What's the issue?" I frowned.
"There will be a full moon tomorrow," he stated, "A special full moon."
"What's so special about it?" I asked.
"You'll find out soon," he said instead of answering.
"What happens, if you tell me now?"
"A disaster," I would have liked to roll my eyes, but after seeing how serious he was, I gave it up.
"But what can I do if I don't even know what you're warning me about?" I asked instead.
"It's going to be a special planetary formation for monsters, but especially for wolves," Alistair said. "Didn't your friend act strangely?"
I didn't even have to think about it.
"Recently, he had mood swings, he seemed very irritable. I fell out with him because of the cat for a long time, normally we reconcile right away. Sometimes he was very silent, other times he went ballistic for no reason and growled like a mad dog," I listed, and Al nodded.
"So?"
"What?"
"You didn't ask without a reason," I said. "Now that I've answered, I thought you'd tell me why he is acting strangely."
He shook his head.
"I do not know the precise reason; I do not meddle in the wolves' affairs," he told me. "Just be careful. There are more wolves in the city than usual."
I was just beginning to forget Geri's warning.
After that, we remained silent. Alistair sat quietly across from me, sipping his usual, ultra-expensive wine as I was fiddling with the edge of the white tablecloth. I didn't talk, and for some reason, I felt I shouldn't interrupt this moment. We'd been sitting without any words spoken for almost half an hour before he broke the silence.
"This may be the last time I visited you."
I was so surprised by his sudden words that at first, I didn't even grasp the meaning behind them.
"What? Why?" The questions immediately burst out of me.
The fae looked at me meaningfully.
"But..."
I could have argued, however, in the end, I closed my mouth without a word. My fingers clenched into fists, and I gritted my teeth. Alistair will die.
Ever since I can remember, he had been by my side, maybe that's why I wasn't able to accept the possibility that this might change. At first, he just looked at me quietly, he didn't speak, he didn't move, he didn't try to contact me, he just looked at me. He wore a dark coat and always pulled his hood deep into his face.
First, as a child, I was terrified of his presence, I was frightened by the gaze I felt on the back of my neck all day. Then as time passed, I just got used to it, and when he wasn't around me, I even felt like I missed him.
He was like my shadow, I saw him as a secure point in my life, and for some reason, I wanted to see him as a guardian, even though, he never intervened, no matter what happened to me — except for one occasion.
I was ten years old when I first saw his face. I remember it was a wet day, it was raining for a week without ever stopping. The rain knocked mockingly on the window, laughed with pity, and the wind screamed bitterly as the sky flashed and raged.
In bed, a boy turned around wildly, his body warmed from a severe fever, his face turning into a grimace. I sat there by his bed, clutching the blanket firmly and changing the cold sheet on his forehead, which always fell off.
Des, my brother. As a child, I couldn't pronounce his full name, so instead of Dénes I just called him was just Des — and somehow, I've been calling him like this ever since. We had the same mother, but our fathers were different. His was a human, a hunter — but I could never get more out of him about the mysterious man.
When I was born, Des was already five years old — and he said he loved me from the first moment on. As children, we played together a lot, Des always smiled at me and defended me as much as he could. He was the apple of our mother's eyes, yet he confronted her when I was in trouble. I loved him, he was my strong and smart big brother, and I kept saying that I would be like him.
At Christmas, he always said to me that my father secretly visited us and left me presents. If he could get enough money, he bought gifts, if not, he made a present for me himself. Although I knew he was lying to me and my dad hadn't visited me even once, I never felt happier than when I opened the carefully wrapped boxes, no matter what it was hiding. I loved the satisfied grin on my brother's face at such times. Then we always played and played and after tired of playing so much we fell asleep.
Des was the only reason I didn't break when Geri started training me at the age of ten, and also my reason not to run away or turn against the hunters. Although we spent less and less time together and he was often sent hunting for weeks, when he returned home, he always brought me some presents. Even though he must have been exhausted, he never forgot to play with me.
It only happened once, in the first week, that I begged him crying: I'd do whatever he asked me to do if he didn't let Geri come to us again. He didn't answer, just hugged me quietly and let me sob and cling to his shirt until the choking feeling was gone. That's when I realized he couldn't do anything. Des was a hunter, one of the youngest talents of the Crosspherat, there was only one thing he couldn't do: he couldn't betray them. And I knew even then that it was a sacred oath that, when they reach a certain age, hunters seal with magic.
I didn't ask him of this again, no matter how desperately I longed for salvation. I was content with him being by my side. Then one day, a few weeks after my birthday, Des returned home half-dead. He was covered in wounds, and his left arm was missing from his shoulder. Our mother ordered me to stay by his side and take care of him, and she immediately rushed to the Crospherate for the best healers. I knew she wouldn't come back in time, I felt it deep in my heart as I sobbed bitterly.
When someone touched my shoulder gently, I almost jumped in fright. I looked up at the hooded figure, who always followed me. His figure was blurry, so I blinked back my tears. Then he pulled the hood out of his face, and I saw Alistair. In my memories, he looked the same as the fae sitting in front of me: nothing had changed over the long years I had grown up.
All I could say was a quiet, trembling word: Help. Alistair didn't speak, he nodded silently, then pushed me out of the room. I had no idea what he was doing, but I instinctively trusted him. I knew he was going to save my brother. A reddish glow escaped under the door, but that, too, lasted only a moment.
When the door suddenly opened by itself and I entered, Des was already sitting in bed and looking quite good, though a bit more pale than usual. His face reflected tiredness and bitter resignation, perhaps that was the moment he realized that he had lost one arm — the soft fabric of the left arm of the sweater hung loosely by his side.
I ran over to him, hugged him crying, and drilled my face into his chest. He stroked my back reassuringly, but he didn't speak. By the time I turned around again, the mysterious saviour was gone.
The next time the mysterious man came and watched me from a distance, I went over to him. I thanked him, but I didn't even try to ask why and how he saved my brother's life — I knew he wouldn't answer anyway, just as he didn't answer, who he was.
He later eventually revealed his name, and if no one saw us, he taught me. He explained to me the nature of the monsters, their weaknesses, their strengths, their habits, their traditions, and everything worth knowing about them in general.
I would by no means call our relationship close or familial, yet he was important to me. And now he said it was all over.
"I know everything is confusing now," he said with a slight smile. "But believe me, you'll understand everything soon. Maybe you'll even learn a secret or two about me."
Although Alistair soon left, I continued to sit still at the table for hours. Suddenly I grabbed the glass and twirled it between my fingers. The clear liquid was gently riffling in it. I never liked wine too much, yet I lifted it to my lips and took a sip. It had the aroma of life. Heartbreakingly sour.
And now I'm hiding here in the stinky toilet. I forced the second handful of blood replacement pills down my throat, yet the thirst didn't subside.
As the full moon approached, I was always feeling a similar thirst and jokingly called this condition 'moon sickness' — although it must be stated that I have never produced such intense symptoms like these.
My throat was horribly sore, my stomach twitched painfully as I felt like I was going mad from the throbbing of my temple. I had no idea how that was possible, but I could clearly hear the soft breaths of the humans in the English teachers' room next to the toilet, the rustling of sheets of paper, the squeaking of the ball in the pen on the sheet, and even the pounding of their hearts.
However, one moment, I still felt an invincible desire to attack people and take their blood, and the next it got to a bearable level. I didn't understand the sudden change, in any case, I kept my calm and went to my next class.
Alex also questioned me as soon as he had the opportunity.
"Where did you go?" His voice sounded a bit offended.
It must be an awfully big problem with the moon. It's not enough that the monster inside me was unruly, Alex continued to behave like a whore going through menopause, with only the difference that he was particularly frustrating today.
"I had to take my pills," I shrugged.
He wasn't very happy with my answer, but in the end, he left it at that.
Sometimes we got along well, sometimes we didn't. I was starting to feel like our friendship was going to break — and there was nothing I could do about it. I had to give up my favourite activity: bullying Alex, because I couldn't foresee what effects my pranks would have on him. I didn't have to worry about that in the past, of course, he was a little petty about it, but in the end, he always came to me with a smile.
Nowadays, he barely spoke to me at school, in physics class we both stared unblinkingly out the window instead of the usual chatter and written messages. Even during lunch, a deep silence settled over him, and even though I thought about talking with him, I just couldn't start the conversation. He was surrounded by a kind of 'if-you-talk-to-me-I-kill-you' aura that would have been more typical of me. Everyone in the class loved him, mostly because of his 'I-am-everyone's-hero' temperament, yet that day he even lashed out at someone who asked for something.
Several people came up to me to ask what was wrong with our Saviour, Alex, even though they knew I wasn't the kind anyone could talk to. Of course, they were given a dismissive gaze and malicious grin instead of an answer, and then I left. There was a rumour that I was having a bad effect on their little angel — however, if one watched closely, they would notice that our relationship wasn't the best lately, either.
Although I seemed indifferent, I would have liked to yell. I was worried, even if I hid this from everyone. What the hell could I do to make everything alright again?
I was never that sentimental monster type, and I had no idea what I could say or possibly do. After all, Shaytan would never, under any circumstances, say aloud that 'Hey, dude, stop grumbling and get your shit together for fuck's sake! I miss you, damn it!' No, Shaytan would never say that.
Sitting in my last class, I decided that if I got home, I would definitely have to talk to Alex — because the situation seemed a little better at home. When we got home, it was as if the menopause symptoms didn't even exist — except yesterday, when he without a word wanted to fight Alistair. Now seriously, why must he be so bubble-brained?
Eventually, I headed home. For some reason, I had a bad feeling, even though I was trying to bury the worry deep within myself. Instinctively, I looked up at the sky, feeling as if some suspicious individual was watching me from there.
My eyes widened. My gaze wandered nervously between the passers-by and the red moon. Despite daylight, the pale disk of the moon was there in the sky, glowing in an abnormal red tint. No one noticed the phenomenon.
Not far from one of the benches was an old man listening to the radio. Not a word was said in the news about the moon being strange. Three cars collided on the highway, a traffic was robbed again, but not a word about the bloody moon.
That's probably what Alistair was talking about. The fucking moon looks like a droplet of blood in the sky! But still, why can't humans see it? Is this another monster thing, too?
Every second I moved my gaze towards the sinful celestial body, I felt as if it was watching me, and a sense of anxiety prevailed over me. There's nothing wrong. Everything will be fine. You go home, you discuss things with Alex, you forget this blood moon thing and everything will be fine...
Although I wanted to hurry, finding the best time to do so, our landlady addressed me.
"Hello!" Inez, a woman in her mid-thirties who rented out her attic for us, greeted me.
Her two sons stood by her side. Ricsi, the troublemaker stood on her left side. He had his pants torn off on one of his knees, and my nose was immediately struck by the smell of fresh blood. I swallowed hard. His body was covered in bruises in many places, even on his cheeks.
His dark, shaggy hair had a few pieces of dry leaves in it. He folded his arms in front of his chest as he turned his face away from his mother. He was probably stirring up some trouble again. Anyway, I like the kid, I've seen him fight the seniors who bullied him or his brother many times. Because of this, I forced the thoughts concerning his blood in the back of my mind.
Marcell stood to his mother's right, clasped their fingers together, and looked up at me with his huge brown eyes, which always reminded me of a scared deer. He was typically a mama's boy with the word 'potential victim' written on his forehead, and his cute little freckles didn't help either. Hmm, he must be tasty. Okay, Shaytan, stop it right fucking now.
"Hi!" I greeted them with a charming smile.
"I've been waiting for you, I hope you'll accept some cookies," the young lady said, handing me a plate covered with aluminium foil.
Inez sometimes offered us some sweets, but if it was a holiday, she even invited us to lunch several times. She was really nice, I didn't even understand how there could be a man who would voluntarily leave such a woman. I didn't know too much about the situation, just that the father of the two boys left without a word shortly after Marci's birth. Since then, our landlady has been working two jobs to be able to give her children everything they wanted, and by some miracle, she even had time to nurture and discipline them.
When Inez smiled lovingly at the two boys and just wiped some dirt off Ricsi's face, who was resisting vehemently, I felt like my world was falling apart. I just couldn't help but notice the love that sparkled in the woman's eyes when she looked at the little bad boy and that was when something in my chest started to ache. The monster in me whispered seductively in my ear about all sorts of things he wanted to do to Inez and her kids.
"Thank you very much," I said, and our landlady looked up at me again, nodded with a smile, and then guided her children into the house. I let out a small sigh.
I stepped on the concrete stairs, thinking about how happy Alex would be because of the cookies, so maybe it would be a little bit easier to talk to him. However, we didn't have a chance to taste Inez's delicious baking. As soon as I entered the apartment, I froze, the plate fell out of my hand and with a loud crash broke into a thousand pieces on the floor.