"Y-You!! Your soul!!"
I felt a sense of impending doom. I tried to remain calm in front of Yolina.
"Damn it! Does she detect another soul in my body?"
I waited for Yolina's response.
"Why does your soul feel... different? It... somehow feels stronger?" Yolina asked.
'Huh?' I instantly thought.
The waves of frustration and nervousness instantly collapsed from my heart. Yolina didn't question Edward's missing soul. Is it because I absorbed Edward's soul essence? But isn't Edward's soul already gone? Or maybe not gone yet? Or is my soul emitting a bit of Edward's soul? But what's the cause? Memory transfer? I have no idea at all.
'Because she thought so, I'll ignore it for now because it benefits me.'
"Relax first, sis. And sit down. I'll explain." I said.
Yolina, hearing my calm response, sat down and calmed herself. She still stared sharply at me. She didn't remove her soundproofing mantra.
With Edward's old knowledge already in my mind, I concocted a convincing story.
"I had an enlightenment."
At the absurd answer, Yolina furrowed her brows as she looked at me.
An enlightenment is a moment when an individual receives extraordinary understanding about their life or about their nature and talents.
"Do you think I'll believe that?" Yolina scoffed.
Yolina still doubted. I understood her. Besides, this event rarely happens. Epiphanies only occur when someone truly understands the meaning of their life or understands the limits of their nature and talents.
Without responding to her cynical question, I calmly replied.
"I got it after surviving my suicide attempt." I answered casually.
At that moment, Yolina's eyes widened.
"What did you say?" Yolina asked to make sure.
Traces of anger could be seen on Yolina's face. Her tone also rose.
"I got an enlightenment after surviving my suicide at-"
Before I finished my sentence, Yolina lunged and grabbed my collar. The table, chairs, and sofa became a mess.
I could see her beautiful red eyes filled with anger and a hint of sadness.
"You!!! You tried to kill yourself??" Yolina yelled.
I was surprised by Yolina's response. I thought Yolina would be okay after hearing about my suicide attempt. But she's very angry now.
"Yes. I-"
Once again, Yolina cut off my sentence with her strong anger. Yolina slightly lifted me with her increasingly strong grip on my collar. Her energy was explosive.
"What were you thinking? Huh? Answer me!!"
Her tone was very rough now.
'Now, I didn't expect it to be like this!'
Panic struck my heart now. But I still kept my face with a flat expression.
"I felt depressed because there was no progress for one semester. Even my rank in class was low-"
*BAM!!
A strong blow hit my left cheek. With Yolina's great strength, I fell to the floor hard.
'What the hell!?'
I quickly sat up and dragged my body backward.
From below, I could see Yolina's intimidating figure and the aura of anger flowing out. It felt somewhat suffocating.
"Just because of that?" Yolina asked firmly.
Yolina walked slowly towards me with an intimidating aura.
'My God! How would I know? Ask the old Edward who's already gone!'
Removing the sentence from my mind, for now, I could only make up excuses.
"I also often lost in duels against Zephyr during combat pr-"
*BAM!!
And yes, unfortunately, a very bad reason.
"Ugh!"
This time, Yolina's right foot kicked my stomach hard. I couldn't see the trajectory of her kick. It was very fast.
As I held my painful stomach, Yolina grabbed my collar and lifted me again.
"Do you think suicide can solve your problems?" Yolina asked angrily.
If I answer yes, then I'll be hit again, I'm sure.
"I don't know!"
I took the safest answer.
"Then why did you try to kill yourself??"
Yolina shouted loudly. Because her soundproofing mantra was still active, no one could hear us.
At that moment, flashes of memories when Edward was still little entered my mind. His mother's beautiful smile while feeding Edward. Playing with Yolina when they were little.
Because basically I am now Edward with a different soul, those flashes of memories somewhat affected my heart. Making me slightly melancholic.
"I don't know! I just... I don't know what to do."
My voice weakened. My expression also showed fluctuations of regret.
Yolina's expression softened slightly. Her grip on my collar also weakened a bit.
"Why didn't you tell mom or me about your problem?" Yolina asked softly.
I fell silent.
"Why?" Yolina asked again.
At that moment, Yolina's voice softened a bit.
"I felt unworthy after causing so much trouble, so I kept my problems to myself." I replied.
This time I diverted my gaze. At the moment, I was somewhat losing control of my expression due to the sudden flow of memories.
Yolina frowned and slowly released her grip on my collar.
I glanced at her. Her eyes were slightly wet.
'Well, it seems like I made up the wrong excuse.' I thought while fixing my collar.
"Listen, I apologize for attempting suicide."
I added an explanation to calm Yolina down a bit and to make her listen to my story.
Yolina looked sharply at me with slightly moist eyes, but no tears came out.
"You won't do it again?"
Yolina's voice softened and slowly returned to normal. Her angry expression also disappeared.
"Once was enough to feel that terrifying feeling." I replied firmly.
Yolina sighed to calm herself down.
"Promise?" Yolina asked.
I looked at Yolina firmly and confidently. Of course, to make it more convincing.
"I promise." I answered firmly.
Hearing me promise, Yolina sighed and returned to her normal self.
"Now, tell me about your enlightenment. I won't ask until you're done." Yolina said.
Yolina didn't bother to clean up the mess she made and sat cross-legged on the floor. She looked at me with anticipation.
'She did a 180 degrees change. Well, who wouldn't want to hear a story from someone who has reached enlightenment.'
I also sat down cross-legged on the floor.
"Ahem. It happened 3 days ago. I attempted suicide with the Soul Release Potion."
When I mentioned the potion, Yolina reacted slightly. But she held it back. She waited for me to continue the story.
"I succeeded and died. At that time, I dreamed. I returned to being a child and lived my life until adulthood. The end of my life in that dream always ended in suicide or being killed by someone who didn't like me."
"Every time I died, I repeated that dream endlessly. Every time I became better, I always lost someone I cared about. And every time I behaved badly, I was always killed or tortured. The dream repeated continuously until I dreamt of something different."
"I dreamt of being a mercenary born from an ordinary person. His family's life was poor. But not only that, his family died during an invasion of strange creatures. In that dream, I fought as hard as I could just to at least protect myself because I no longer had anyone else. I realized how empty and lonely it is to be left by someone you love."
"Unlike before, I died honorably in that dream. I died when I followed an infiltration operation into the enemy's main headquarters. When I died in that dream, I woke up and my head was very painful. Flashes of all those countless repetitive dreams entered my brain for 3 minutes. It was very painful."
I fell silent after finishing the story which I mixed with a little bit of my past life.
Yolina was still silent, staring at me and digesting the story she had just heard. In the blink of an eye, Yolina's expression tensed.
"How did mom and I die in that dream?" Yolina asked firmly.
I remained silent for a moment and thought about the story. Actually, in the game, Yolina and Eilif are not mentioned too often. However, I will make a dramatic death in my dream story.
"You always died because of my mistakes. Or you died from poison or were killed by monsters." I said.
Yolina nodded slowly as if understanding.
"Then, the Soul Release Potion. Where did you get it from?" Yolina asked.
Yolina stared sharply at me.
"I don't know, memories of the Soul Release Potion are very blurry. As if intentionally erased. Even the container or physical evidence of it is not in my dorm room even though I've searched for it meticulously." I said honestly.
Yolina approached me and extended her hand.
"Shake my hand, let me read your memories about the potion. Lower your soul security, let my energy enter your body and think about the Soul Release Potion."
Of course, Yolina would suspect that I would lie.
I nodded and shook her hand. Following her instructions, I let her energy enter my body and started thinking about the Soul Release Potion.
In my memory, I only remembered its name, but I didn't remember how to obtain it. Even when in my room, when I drank it, the container felt like it was blurred.
After 2 minutes, Yolina released her hand.
"It seems you're not lying. And all of this is very suspicious." Yolina said.
I nodded in confirmation. Everything about Edward's suicide seemed suspicious.
Yolina remained silent for a few minutes. She seemed to be thinking hard. Then, she opened her mouth as if to speak again. But she closed her mouth again.
'She seems to know something.' I thought.