The feeling of emptiness is something that cannot be easily explained. It is like, you have the people you love, and you love the time spent with them. But still, sometimes feels different.
I miss my old friendships.
It makes me feel so alone when I start to remember my old friendships. They were so beautiful and so lovely. Those were the people with zero ego. But time changed everything. I lost too many friends in the past that now I am only left with one friend who is my boyfriend. Some people might think that I lost my friends because of my boyfriend and would not get angry on them because it is the thought of almost every other person that we lose friends because of the boyfriend or the girlfriend.
Sometimes, my boyfriend tells me that," Am I not enough for you? Why do you miss them? They did not even value you. Good people are hard to find, and I found you and we are together. I am happy if you are happy".
I love him a bit more every time he says that but sometimes, I am not able to control the emotions I go through. My heartbeat fastens and I cannot help it. I shiver. I feel like crying so much. Maybe, I just need a hug. A hug fixes my sadness but for now nobody is there to do so. I feel sad about it.
I see the pictures of my friends posting on social media. The pictures that include the old friends either from school or my locality. When I see those pictures, a thought hits me that what is the problem. Those people maintained their distance from me only. I see them going out and enjoying their time, eating and chilling out together. Here I am just sitting at home and watching them enjoy their time. It tears my heart apart. It makes my heart cry.
Am I actually not good enough?