"Lucy, come here!"
"What do you want ma!?," I shouted exhausted.
Doesn't mom know that I'm tired? I have a science project due Monday morning and I swear to God that Mr. Palmer is going to kill me if I don't finish it, but he can go ahead. What he doesn't know is that I have a secret weapon, it's a family secret that only a few of my family members know.
I'm a fallen angel. It's true, I have the halo and everything. My mom says that I'm delusional but I could swear that I saw one on my head. I was drunk that time when I looked in the mirror but they say that when you're drunk you show your true colours and what I saw in that moment was a glowing circle. I showed my sister but she couldn't see it, blindness at its finest. Am I right or what?
"Young lady, I know that you did not just raise your voice at me. I've told you this many times and I'll tell you again, I brought you into this world and I can get you out just as easily!" She threatened.
"Well not as easily because your head was so big that they had to cut me. For a moment I thought I was having a big headed oompa loompa. I was so scared I pushed you out like a wild pig in labour," she murmured as an afterthought.
"I heard that you know!" I shouted while getting out of bed.
"You were meant to!" She retorted just as loudly. "Now get your flat ass out here before I come up there and get you".
"You wound me!" I staggered, holding my hands to my chest. "There was no need to go there. I know I'm flat, don't rub salt on the wound, please it hurts too much," I said with a hurt expression on my face.
"Whatever. Now come downstairs and help me before your dad comes home. Who knows what will happen between him and Mr. Johnson this time, and I can't miss the drama" she said excitedly.
If you're wondering what mom is talking about it's just that my dad and our ninety-six year old neighbour don't get along well. Their feud is like World War 2. It all started when I was six years old and dad accidentally cut down the old man's tree. It turned out that his dead wife planted the tree when they got married and the old geezer was not pleased. That time was the liveliest our small community has ever been. They fought for so long that the matter ended up in court with dad compensating for the tree.
You would have thought that it would end there, but God no. The little grinch had to mess with dad's most prized possession, his lawnmower. Dad treats that thing better than how he treats me and that says a lot because I'm his only child.
.....
Pssh.
I wish I was. I have seven brothers and sisters and one of them is my annoying twin sister, but they are not important. I think of them as extras in my story.
Back to what I was saying. So dad got the lawnmower as a present from grandpa before he died. God bless his soul. And he loved it. So when it was trashed by Mr. Johnson, he was not happy. We had to have a damn funeral for the piece of trash and guess who had to do the eulogy, little old me. I didn't even know what an eulogy was, but I did give them a pretty impressive speech. It had tears, snot, mourning voice and all. My speech went like this:
Lawnmower, Lawnmower, how we miss you so (cue the tears)
You mowed and mowed till you couldn't no mow
Dad loved you very much and so did we
You were a very good companion to me
You helped me with my homework and slept on my bed (cue the runny nose)
You played tag with me and raid our neighbours back yard
30 minutes later....
I'll forever hold you dear to my heart, my friend
No matter where you are
We will always be besties for resties
When I was younger I always wanted a dog, so when I heard that I was doing the eulogy, I got a little carried away. However it benefited me because my parents thought that I was guilt tripping them and bought me a dog. He didn't stay for long though because I forgot to feed him and he ran away. Sadly, my parents never thought of giving me a pet after that tragic incident and my siblings never let me live it down up until this day.
Anyways my dad confronted Mr. Johnson and from then on it has been pure chaos. Every time he comes home from a business trip mom gets excited because she loves drama. She said it has something to do with her being from the Caribbean.
Hello everyone. My name is Lucy Window, and this is my story.