Enough. For at least five hours, all I've been doing is repeating to myself, 'So, let's recap.' But I've done it at least thirty times. The story doesn't change, despite the fatigue, the cold, and the thirst. It doesn't change simply because it's the truth, no more, no less. The day must have dawned; it's obvious I won't be going to work today. In fact, I won't be going anywhere.
I sigh, again. 'I...' was heading home, like every day after work. Even on Christmas Eve, this dark street I take to easily reach my bus stop remains just as deserted. The neighborhood was emptied years ago due to the frequentation and the state of the buildings. However, now, it has become a small student neighborhood due to its proximity to the bus stop and the 'good spots' in the city. The rents have something to do with it; the cheaper, the more takers. These young people live in the night, the lights in their rooms are rarely on, and thugs still hang around in dark corners to sell them drugs or prescription medication without a prescription. Most of my colleagues congratulate me or advise against taking this route.
'Aren't you afraid? I mean, they say it's a dangerous neighborhood and all,' Ah-in often told me. My colleague Ah-in is probably the nicest person I know. She's one of the people who recognized me from the time I was on television for my mother. The others were scared; they had the same mistrust as my high school or university classmates. But her, no. Ah-in was close to me, caring, and pleasant to be around.
When we talked about this neighborhood, she always looked worried and asked me if I wasn't afraid. 'No, not particularly. In fact, they're just a bit weird. And I know how to defend myself, don't worry.' But Ah-in worried continuously; she feared that something bad would happen to me one day. And honestly, I would never have thought that possible.
10:10 PM
Ah-in calls me to ask if I've returned safely, I reply: 'No, not yet.'
10:15 PM
I take a turn. The next street is as quiet as the previous one; I walk cautiously. My steps were slow, without any rush. I could almost hear the snow falling on the road, the breeze, and the silence. Now that I think about it, it's tomorrow. I'm turning thirty, but the feeling doesn't leave me. Christmas makes me uneasy; I feel sick during this time of the year. It's selfish of me, but I find it hurtful and insulting to celebrate Christmas at the office or with Ah-in's family. I feel like the world doesn't care about my misery; I have no more family, and others can't help but celebrate, while for me, it's a commemorative day. 'How selfish I can be...'
10:30 PM
I stop at an intersection. I take out my phone; my team leader sends me a message: 'Meeting tomorrow at eight thirty, I hope you're done, you'll do the weekly presentation.'
I reply: 'Yes, team leader. I'm finished, but I'll need your opinion before the presentation.'
10:43 PM
I enter a convenience store; the surveillance cameras film me at the checkout. I buy cigarettes and immediately leave. I only smoke in winter; it's not a matter of choice or any ritual. It just became something that happened to me a few years ago, since university. My first cigarette dates back to that time; a sunbae offered it to me, saying, 'Here, it warms the heart.' He was right; in this icy time for my heart and body, the cigarette saves me from hypothermia.
10:45 PM
I stop on the way to calmly light my cigarette, taking a break. I look around, gazing at those morbid buildings, darker than me. These young people are braver than me; they dare to live in such a place despite everything said about it. They live there, constantly putting their lives in danger. 'I say that, but I'm no better than them.'
After that hour, that's when everything started to go downhill.
10:46 PM
I look up at the sky; there are no stars. The moon is hidden behind dark and silent clouds. The flakes fall on my face, as cold as my fingers. The smoke from my cigarette floated in the air, and the smell was pleasant. As I looked at the sky, my phone rings again; that's when I lower my eyes and notice something strange. Right in front of me, I see a shadow moving in an apartment. Through the glass window, I manage to see the silhouette, all dressed in black, walking in the apartment with crocodile steps. The concerned studio was on the second floor of the small building. 'What the...'
10:50 PM
I stand in front of the apartment because the movements in the studio seem strange. I didn't call the police in the first few minutes, my first mistake.
Suddenly, a loud crash resounds. It didn't take more for me to understand what was happening; that person in black was not welcome in that apartment. I reacted immediately, without further thought. I circled the building, East side, and found a fire escape.
10:53 PM
I try to open the window overlooking the kitchen; it's stuck. As I try to force the window, I see a male silhouette entering the room. His face was covered by a hood, but I could see that he was looking at me. For a moment, we locked eyes. 'You...' Before my eyes, he grabs a large kitchen knife. He stands there, holding the knife in his right hand. 'When I come in, I promise you, you're a dead man. Do you hear me?' He twirls the knife in his hand before turning his back on me.
The window seems sealed; I can't lift it. The only alternative to save the person in the apartment is to break the glass, but time was running out. As I thought about a solution, I heard a scream. 'Damn...'
10:55 PM
I take off my coat and wrap it around my fist. I give a first blow to the window; it doesn't break instantly. I give another blow, the ice cracks under it. Another one, and then a stronger one. The glass shatters, alerting a neighbor below. The neighbor calls the police to report the noise, one floor up.
11:00 PM
I enter the apartment. I wanted to get another knife, but there was only a small fruit knife left. These students. I took it with me and then moved into the other room. Careful steps, I reach the living room. There's a deep silence in the room, strange, given the distress call from earlier. I scan the corners to orient myself while looking for a switch. When I finally find one, I'm amazed to find that the power is cut off. Not just the power, but also the phone and internet lines. The intruder had literally taken the apartment owner hostage; it was evident in understanding his distress. 'Where is he, damn it?' I didn't have time to ask more questions before hearing a noise behind me.
11:06 PM
I turn around. In front of me, a silhouette in the frame of a door. Motionless, silent, and above all, threatening. The little light that entered reflected in the knife he held tightly. 'Who are you?' No answer to my question; he continued to stare at me. I knew what would happen when I entered here, but I could never have truly prepared for it. Without warning, the man rushed towards me.
Back then, my mother fought to survive. So, just like her, I learned to fight to survive. That's why I corrected her shot by learning to defend myself, thanks to different martial arts. I learned some longer than others, but in any case, I can fight with anyone, defend myself to the death. I avoided the knife assault, narrowly.
11:10 PM
The assailant injures me with his blade in the hand; the blade pierced my palm. That justifies my blood on the carpet. I fall to one knee, and at that moment, he takes the upper hand and tries to stab me again. I manage to grab his wrist and bend it to make him drop his weapon. I stand up and manage to get him to the ground, and I grab the knife not far away, but he manages to push it away from me.
11:15 PM
We fight; I try to remove his hood. 'Who are you, damn it!' He gives me a left hook, and I fall to the side. I lose my bearings for a moment, and he takes advantage of it to recover the blade. I quickly regain my composure and push the weapon far enough; he loses patience and decides to strangle me. I started to black out when I saw feet above my head. It was the owner. He broke a vase on his head, and it must have angered him a lot because he literally pounced on him. He banged his head everywhere; he was unleashing on him.
11:20 PM
'I stood up and...,' the young woman hesitated. 'I just took the knife and stabbed him once, then twice. He collapsed, and I didn't insist. When I saw him fall, I knew it was over.'
'Did you kill him?' the inspector asked, although he already knew the answer.
The young woman thought for a moment, then scratched the corner of her nose, clicking her handcuffs.
'Yeah.'
'Why didn't you subdue him and wait for the police? After all, you seem to know neutralization methods, don't you?'
...
'Why, you wanted to be a hero this time? You couldn't save your mother, so you might as well make up for it now, is that it?'
Vania stared at Inspector Kang for a long time, shrugged, and answered the question. The inspector looked at her for a moment, then opened the file in front of him.
Vanya suddenly said to him: 'You know inspector, the police take about twenty minutes to intervene for a complaint of disturbance in the beautiful Gangnam neighborhoods. But do you know how long it takes for an intervention to take place in a slum like Guryong?'
Guryong was not concerned by the incident, in fact, Vania wanted to allude to her own story.
'It takes about an hour, a good hour for the police to arrive. And I don't know that we can do so many things in an hour,' added the young woman with a smirk.
After that, Vania tilted her head back, exhausted and above all annoyed.
'You are accused of involuntary manslaughter,' Prosecutor Namju announced beside him. 'And there's little chance you'll get away unscathed. Your life won't be the same regardless of the outcome of the trial.'
Once again, Vania remained silent. Frenziedly, she shrugged her shoulders. There was nothing to be gained; this interrogation would yield nothing conclusive. A simple worker had turned into a murderer, and more frighteningly, this Vania Ella had the mentality of a perfect psychopath. No empathy, no regrets, no remorse. Kim Seoju would have put her on leave for a long time, but for now, this Vania Ella was a hero. She did what was necessary. For this time, her act was justified.
The two officers left the room, leaving the young woman alone for a moment, as she wanted a break to smoke. The inspector followed Seoju, remaining curious about his colleague's particular insistence on this case.
'What are you afraid of? It was self-defense. So why are you so determined to know if she sticks to the same version?'
The latter turned around.
'Kang,' he began. 'I can recognize people who kill on impulse and those who... are born to kill. And this girl, what I see in her makes me think we might see her again."