Vania had faced many battles, but the one against her cigarette addiction was gradually fading, according to her psychologist. He claimed that it might become more frequent to compensate for other shortcomings, and he was probably right. Vania had never intended to end her life, so when her addictions plunged her into an alcoholic coma, she decided to put an end to her dreadful descent. Her mother had fought for her life, and she had no right to lose it so foolishly.
Vania would smoke in the street, behind the bookstore. Watching the smoke rise freely gave her a kind of comfort, as she described it. Sometimes, she would stand there, watching the puffs join the clouds, her eyes lost in emptiness. And her break was coming to an end.
Vania returned inside, put on her apron, and walked towards the cash register. There, she recognized a familiar silhouette. The young woman stopped, keeping her distance.
"What are you doing here?" she asked.
The young man turned around, meeting her gaze. Yes, it was her. She was slimmer now, with a less polished appearance, but it was her.
"Hello," greeted Geoul.
"..."
"Uh, I was here yesterday with my friends. We came to buy a medical biology book."
"The book doesn't suit you?" Vania inquired.
"No, no. It has nothing to do with that," Geoul immediately replied. "The book is just fine, I assure you."
Vania scrutinized him, then asked again, "So, what do you want?"
"I..."
Geoul had thought a thousand times about how to approach her since yesterday, but now that he was faced with her, the words were slow to come.
"I wanted, uh... I wanted us to be able to talk, Miss Vania."
As he pronounced her name, Vania's heart skipped a beat. So, he still remembered, surprising. She remembered the mother of this kid telling her, "And for his well-being, please stay away from our Geoul. He wants nothing to do with you anymore, respect that." Vania still chuckled at the memory.
"My break is over," the young woman announced coldly.
"Oh... So, can we see each other after your work? I'll leave you my number, and you can contact me when you can, okay?"
"No," Vania immediately cut in.
Clearly, she didn't want this meeting. It couldn't be more understandable; Geoul would be an idiot not to realize it. He sighed, desperately.
"Listen. I know it's been a long time, after three years. But I thought you didn't want to see me again after all that. I asked about you to so many people, but I was young and without any resources to find you. You weren't on any social networks; you changed jobs and addresses too. I tried with the little means I had to find you at that time, I swear."
"..."
"I... There are only three people who know what happened that night, and one of them can't say anything anymore. And I'm sure, as much as I do, that you want to talk to someone about it. So, please, just give me a chance. We could get to know each other better, become good friends, what do you say?"
Geoul insisted several times, but Vania's face remained indifferent. It didn't seem to be an option; she didn't want to go back, especially not with him. Talking about the past, reliving it over and over, no thanks.
"I'm sorry," she asserted. "But it's not possible."
"But..."
"As you can see, our lives have taken different paths, and you see me glad that everything is going well for you. There's no point in torturing ourselves with the past because it's behind us. Continue your life as you did before and forget that you saw me again. And I ask you not to come back, please."
Vania and Geoul remained silent, staring at each other intensely. Then, once again, the young man's attention turned to that hand. Geoul remembered how much Vania suffered because of that injury, but she never stopped defending him against the assailant.
"And your hand? It still trembles even after the operation, doesn't it?"
With a fluid motion, Vania concealed her left hand, outraged.
"That's enough; I'll have to ask you to leave. If you don't plan on buying anything, please go away."
Vania's tone alerted Madame Atachi, so she came out of the back room to see what was happening. Vania never got angry with a customer, so the old lady worried.
"Vania, what's wrong?" she asked.
The young woman's expression relaxed as soon as she saw her supervisor arrive. The tension between them quickly subsided, and instead of answering herself, it was Geoul who turned to the lady.
"Oh, madame, you're here!"
"Oh, but it's the charming young man from yesterday; you came back. I hope the book satisfies you," the old lady asked him amiably.
"Of course," exclaimed Geoul. "It's exactly the one I was looking for, rest assured!"
"Ah, very well. But in that case, would you like something else?"
He glanced briefly at Vania, and she immediately avoided his gaze.
"Well, I came to see Miss Vania."
"Vania, is there a problem?" Madame Atachi inquired.
"Absolutely not," he stammered, showing himself as friendly as possible. "In fact, I came to see Miss Vania to invite her for a coffee with me."
Geoul leaned towards her, slipping indiscreetly:
"Because I must admit, she made a bit of an impression on me, you understand?"
"Oh! You men," the old lady declared, amused. "You court us to the point of becoming annoying; I know that."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yes, my husband did the same as you when I worked in a cafe. He would come and sit without ordering anything, just to be able to invite me out at the end of my shift. By the way, my boss threatened to reduce my pay because of him," she laughed.
They shared a complicit laugh while, excluded from everything, Vania observed them silently. Apparently, he knew how to attract sympathy.
"So, please, madame, help me a little. Okay," pleaded Geoul.
Vania's look already expressed her rejection, and Madame Atachi had no intention of offending her but rather gradually convincing her.
"Young man, for now, Vania doesn't want to accompany you," then she leaned towards his ear, "but maybe some other time."
They shared another complicit laugh, and Geoul docilely acquiesced. He thanked the old lady, and Geoul headed towards the exit. In passing, he said to Vania:
"Goodbye, Miss Vania."
The latter barely responded, maintaining that little hostile look. Geoul left the premises, firmly convinced that he would come back tomorrow and every day after until he managed to convince Vania. The path proved to be complex because even Madame Atachi wouldn't succeed in persuading her to do so.
Recently, he had thought about seeing her again. After watching a program from two years ago, Geoul had started thinking about her again. His savior. That day, if she hadn't acted the way she did, the young man would undoubtedly be dead by now. He would never stop regretting his past choices, the ones that led to that night. People, his parents, and friends advised him to leave everything behind and move forward. Easier said than done, especially when you remained the sole and only "victim" of the story. And what about Vania?
The story had forgotten her; the world had turned her into the second executioner, the one who picked up the knife and stabbed that man. But that's not what happened; those people knew nothing. They knew nothing about what happened that night, and no one ever asked Vania anything. They only asked her to respond with a "yes" or "no" to the scenario they presented. Not once did they ask, "Tell us what happened?"
Not once.
The court had acquitted her, but with that target, that stain on her foot. Public opinion pointed fingers at her without really knowing her; society judged her without a trial. Geoul felt sorry for Vania; her life had been destroyed because of him, and she had never held it against him. She never asked for money or even a public statement. She continued her life in the shadows.
How unfair the world could be, thought Geoul.