Ugh, it is at moments like this that I require someone else's company. Anyone at all apart from my sister Laney. I know she's being nice and all and I know she loves me but this is not what I need at this moment. I mean who wants to be called out on their bullshit while literally panicking. I'm so panicking right now and Lay just doesn't let me have a bit of peace before she appears at my doorway giving me her knowing looks. (Ughh she should go away). I draw the blanket to fully cover my head just so I'll be out of sight from her judgy eyes or at least tune out whatever it is she has to say.

"Look, I know you don't want to hear this (why are you saying it then) but someone has to tell you. (anyone but you) I love you but I must say you where wrong to say that. It was very mean.( Aghhh, for the hundredth time I know ok). But you know you don't have to worry. This is Ric and we all know he's going to let it pass when he calms down. So just chill, by this time tomorrow both of you will be here as if nothing happened."

If there's one thing I know, it's that he's going to calm down in a few hours. He doesn't get mad at me for long. I reach for my phone by the stand and see that it's just 5pm. I'm a hundred percent certain we'll talk before we both go to sleep, but that's why am worried.

"You know he just got jealous because he likes you right"

"No, he doesn't" I said. ( can someone come drag her out of my room please). She's been on this for weeks, months even and this right here is the end of this conversation. It always is. I quickly pull the blanket off my body, getting up from the bed I head straight past her to the door.

"I knew you'd do that but I will still tell you what I know" she calls out behind me. (and I do not want to hear it).

Weeks ago I wouldn't be here worried about our little fight with Ric. We do that a lot, but Lay's words have been getting to me lately and I don't want to start imagining things that are not there. I worry there might be a bit of truth in her words. But I try as much as possible to bury those little thoughts. Nothing about that is true. Lay loves reading too much into things. She's definitely wrong. I know Ric better than she does.

I leave the room heading straight to the kitchen. I really need my coffee right now. I made a cup for myself as I settle on the kitchen counter. Taking a sip I swear this is just what I needed. I take my time to finish the coffee, placing the mug down on the counter just beside me. I take a deep breath and repeat the same a few more times while deciding to be the bigger person for once. (just call don't think) I pick up my phone from where I dropped it beside me and quickly place a call to Ric's line before I change my mind. The call connects immediately after a few rings but the person on the other side stays silent. I do the same, not a word. We remain like that for a few minutes and I swear a part of my brain is telling me to cut the call but I don't. I don't know how I managed not to. I take another deep breath and before I say a word he says " I'm sorry" in that deep voice of his. I say nothing because it's supposed to be the other way round. I should be the one saying sorry but it just doesn't come out. (way too small for someone who wanted to be the bigger person).

"You should not have said that (ahg, what am I even referring to). At least not in that tone" I add ( I know I'm being petty).

"I know, and that's why I'm sorry" he said.

We both go quiet and that makes me recall our fight or rather conversation earlier. I think back to what happened. To when I was too engrossed with the novel in my hands to pay attention to my surroundings until Ric casually strolled into my apartment heading straight to the kitchen without a word. Minutes later he reappears with a bottle of water in his hands and before I knew it he was holding the book I was reading in his hands or do I say the book is dangerously dangling from his fingers ready to drop to the ground.

"Don't" I say "if anything should happen to that book, Ric" I stop (what can I even do) I didn't even know what to say and that made him laugh.

"You know you are the worst when it comes to threats" he laughs. ( you don't have to tell me ok)

" You have the worst timing ever Ric, i was on the last chapter. You should have let me finish"

"Wouldn't have been fun, I like your expression when you are pissed" he grins. ( And how can I remain angry at that sight).