Just as Vincent went down the stairs, Solanne grabbed the book that Vincent had recommended for her and headed back to the sofa where Mr. Brown and Yael was sleeping in. The rain continued to pour, and the time was just 10 in the evening. She doesn't know if she'll be transported back to the dream again, but right now, what her priority was to read.
The moment she put down the book, Yael heaved his breath and it caught Solanne's attention. "You're awake?"
Yael nodded. He laid flat on the sofa, hugging a throw pillow. "I just took a nap. What were you two talking about?" He causally asked.
Solanne sat beside him. "Vincent?" Solanne grabbed the books and opened it to the first page.
Yael nodded. "You seemed very close. You friends? Both of you met before? Long time?"
Solanne laughed as she seemed to find his strings of question absurd. "The first time I talk to him was when I rented the cabin room. The next was when I tried to negotiate the payment. We had few talks through the phone but this is the first time we met. Why are you even asking?"
Yael shrugged. "Just curious." He shifted his gaze on the books Solanne was holding. "What are those?"
"Books," Solanne sat straight. Yael raised both of his brows as he already knows that excitement was rushing through Solanne again. Her lips curling up.
"What is it?" Yael asked.
"Well, I just had a random thought before."
"Expand it," Yael urged. "Share it."
"How demanding." Solanne smiled. Her eyes were on the book's first page. "I just had a thought. Well, we have been dreaming for the few days, at first it considered it as coincidence, but then it just creeps you in. That those dreams weren't some kind of coincidences anymore. I just had a rough guess, but I feel like we're traveling between worlds."
"Traveling?" Yael glanced at the book. "Don't tell me you have that thought because of what Vincent had told you."
Solanne felt embarrassed. "Well, I'm just thinking about it. Besides," Solanne sinked in the sofa, "these books spark my curiosity. Learning them won't be bad."
"Gods and tales," Yael mumbled through his lips. Solanne shake her head.
"Just sleep. Besides aren't you curious why are we dreaming?"
Yael stared at her, "Perhaps just like what you considered, we are traveling. We got destinations and until we know the reason for it, we just have to continue."
"Aren't you afraid of the next dream?"
Yael sighs. "I'm more angry than afraid." Yael shifted his gaze to her. "Are you afraid?"
Solanne swallowed. A small smile appearing on her lips. "Yes."
Silence occupies the space.
"What did you dream?" Yael asked.
Solanne paused for a moment. She smiled mysteriously. "The things I do not want to admit. Sorry, I don't want to talk about it."
Yael stared at her before nodding. He closed his eyes. Solanne felt alone with the book.
She tried to distract herself and begun reading. The statement goes, "The first world and the last world I have visited was Earth."
Solanne paused for a moment reading the same sentence again and again. Without any thought in mind, she continued reading. "All of the beings in the world I have visited, I have never understood humans. They have simple lives. Do not have the power like any other beings in the other world, and yet, they imposed great respect, and that how they view their selves reflect on how they live. It fascinates me."
Solanne started to read the book and she had compared it to a journal, a travel journal. The first few paragraphs talks about how amused the god was to see hpw different and at the same time similar humans were. He had narrated his observations at the same time, his thoughts. He had tried every food, went to every places, and even tried to live a life far different from what he was. Each time, every experience, the god has wrote it down as if he has a duty.
Each page was beautifully written as if he was writing a letter to someone. Solanne can feel the tiredness of her body, and despite of her wanting to read, her eyes just kept falling, and that her body was lulling her to sleep. It must be because of the tea that Vincent had given her before.
Right as she was about to doze off, there was one sentence she had read. She had to go back again to read it. She feels like it was an important clue. And yet, the moment she opened her eyes once again, just like what she had expected, she was back at the world of mirrors.
However, different to what she was expecting, the clown was nowhere to be found. Right in front of her were eyes, dozens of eyes that were patiently waiting for her. She was afraid. She had begun to remember the things she had put on the back of her mind before and yet for some reason the intense emotion she was feeling was already gone.
The pamphlet she was holding had glow drawing her attention. "Due the powerful entity's intervention, another layer of protection has been drawn. The rules still apply. Walk forward. The train will arrive at midnight."
In contrast to its previous words, this time, Solanne has been given a timeline. A timeline until, midnight.
Solanne gather her composure pulling herself together. This time She tried to think the situation in a rational manner.
She was in the world of glass. There was an illusion that in ever eyes she sees she see herself in a very digusting manner. Or was it really an illusion but a reflection of her own self?
Solanne, despite of how kindly she talk to Yael was very harsh to herself. She was a person who had put burned to herself far more than her parents could. Although she could say that she doesn't hate herself, she knew that there's just a thin line separating it from what she feels now vs the hate she has been talking about.
Solanne sighed as she pushed herself to stand up. Her eyes were looking her feet, she still can't face forward.
What to do? She asked herself. She tried to think things over and over, feeling as if her head would come off and put one variable to another and push herself to overcome the fear so that she could go back. This was just temporary anyway.
But she can't fool her body. I refuse to move and Solanne was more frustrated about it.
She tried to talk about this herself many times. She tried to even hypnotized herself thinking that her brain was just playing tricks, yet, perhaps, this world wasn't –
"Oh, you are here again," the voice she was afraid to hear.
Solanne felt her breathing slowed, her body stood still, her eyes wavering. It's the clown. She uttered on her mind.
The clown was back.
Solanne can feel her throat dry. She feels anxious and that she had started to push herself far more to the extreme, thinking of ways to get out on this.
"You disappeared from my sight. I wasn't mistaken before," the clown seemed to know more things and yet, Solanne can't even talk to him.
"How arrogant of them," his voice was low and he seemed to be pertaining to someone. "That's always been their personality."
Solanne cannot understand what the clown was saying but he seemed to harbor deep hatred. Solanne heaved her breath as she tried to rationalized on herself once again. Panicking won't help her. She has to think.
This will all be over if she could just walk. If she could just continue to move forward…
Suddenly, as she tried to ran her thoughts over and over again, she had remembered something.
She doesn't know why she remembred or where she ever found such phrase but the sentence says, 'The answer to your fear would always be the first courage you'll ever muster. Clowns can answer questions, they have infinite knowledge and the only way for them to answer is for you to look at them."
She frowned. That sentence alone contradicts to what the pamhaplete had said and even the train conductor has said.
Still, despite numerous times she think of it, the time was ticking and if she hasn't solve anything, would she be stuck here? Would she never wake up?
It was a one time gamble. Solanne can here the footsteps of the clown beside her, what to do? What to risk? She's really good at risk.
Solanne swallowed. This is just a dream, she said in her mind over and over again trying not think about it. And as I jumping in a cliff, she raised her head, the clown stopped walking at looked at her. Their eyes met face to face and that was the time, Solanne had recognized the clown.
She felt her whole body froze, she felt like she has been mocked yet, she continued to ask. "A way to leave this place?"
The clown smiled at her. "How bold. A soul that's afraid of me yet," he laughed. And laughed. And laughed.
He then pointed the path that Solanne was about the take. "Close your eyes and walked in a straight line. You'll meet the train you're waiting for on the other side."
"That just it?"
The clown grinned at her. "You think that just because you're facing your fear you are required to overcome them? Not be scared of them anymore?" He mocked. "If you are scared, then you are scared. You don't need to think poetically about them. The book you are holding has given you one instruction. Walk ahead. Just walk ahead. Do not think of anything else and just walk ahead."
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