Ezequiel
It's the first time I see Mateo cry like that, I can't stand seeing him in that state, I shouldn't have let my jealousy get the best of me. I keep hugging him, he doesn't stop crying, even when I'm about to tell him something about myself, he cries even more intensely. I don't like talking about my past, but it's what turned me into what I am now, it's time to tell them some things.
"I am a bastard son, my mother was very humble and was sent to work in the Edevane family's house," Mateo changed his gaze and stopped crying, I know he must be surprised, I am the son of his father's best friend.
"My mother fell in love with him and they had a romance, over the years she got pregnant, my father already had children and wanted her to have an abortion, but she refused. He didn't want his marriage to be ruined and to cause a scandal, so he fired her with only a settlement for the years she worked," I clench my fists. Although I have told this before, it still bothers me to talk about it, I take a sigh and continue.
"My mother was very sad, she had no one to count on, she was alone, but your mother helped her and gave her a job secretly from your father... I was born with my father's categorical rejection. Your mother took care of mine until I was two years old, then she sent us to Japan for our safety and gave her a house, which is this one, "Mateo hugs me again and I reciprocate.
"I grew up in this house, my mother worked as much as she could, she didn't make much money, my education was paid for by your mother. Over the years my mother changed, she became isolated and she hated me, she didn't want me around. Then she got sick and died when I was 15, this is the only thing I have left of her, this old house, I remodeled it so I could live alone, this room was mine," I stroke Mateo's hair, trying to calm him down.
"I ended up like you, alone in the world... We are alone," Mateo hugs me very tightly and I hear him crying. He has always been a crybaby.
I lift her gaze, "don't cry, I don't like seeing you cry," i wipe his tears. His eyes are so blue, they are beautiful, his cheeks and lips are red. Quickly I dismiss that thought, I don't like men.
"We are not alone, we have each other," he kisses me and I reciprocate, "I won't cry anymore, I promise."
"I'll put a heater in tomorrow."
Mateo shakes his head, "I'm fine, I like sleeping with you." The reason he doesn't have heating is that he wasn't prepared for his visit. I have sleep problems that I used to counter with alcohol or women, but the day he slept with me I was able to sleep without any problems, I like sleeping with him.
Although it's very early, I feel exhausted and apparently Mateo does too.
"Let's go to sleep," I say to get up and I take his arm helping him up, I guide him to my room and we lie down in silence. Mateo provokes thoughts that I shouldn't have for a man, the day he didn't allow me to fuck him I'm not going to forgive him, he wanted to penetrate him. I don't want anyone outside of Louis and Andrés to know that I have feelings for him, this would ruin a lot of things.
Mateo puts his head on my chest, he finally stops crying, I hope he never thinks of approaching that idiot Pablo. I put my arm around his back, I want him only for myself.
"I'm not a slut," Mateo says looking at me, his eyes still swollen from crying.
"I know, I'm sorry," he has an angelic face, but he must be hiding something, his brothers say he's very promiscuous, "how many men have you slept with?"
He blushes, I look at him very seriously, I think he is promiscuous. He remains silent for a while, this makes me impatient, I want to know how many men from my circle have slept with him, Pablo will be one of them.
"Do I need to repeat the question?" It bothers me that he doesn't trust me, after what I told him.
"I haven't been with any man, I'm a virgin," I look at him incredulously, I can't believe that, "that's why I didn't let you have sex with me, I would lose my virginity," he says, covering his face with my chest.
I remain silent and stroke his hair. That reminds me that idiot touched him right in front of me, I don't know whether to believe him, I should ask his mother. Although if I had experience he would have responded faster to my stimuli and I have had to teach him how to perform oral sex on me, perhaps it is true.
"You are not allowed to lose your virginity with any man," he looks at me surprised, "your virginity belongs to me, "remember that I already put my fingers in you," I say to Mateo, he blushes.
"Ezequiel, I... want to lose my virginity with someone who only loves me," he looks at me with his beautiful blue eyes, so innocent.
"You will die a virgin," I begin to laugh. Love is complex and betrayals are frequent, he gets annoyed and pouts, "if you regret it, you know where to go," I touch his backside, this makes him shiver.
"Ezequiel..." he tries to remove my hand. I grip him tighter, I love it, he has a good backside for a man. "I will tell mom," he says thoughtfully.
"My mom is your mom, so we are like siblings, you shouldn't touch me," he says very agitated.
"Mateo, we are not blood-related, I can have sex with you if I want, you stay still," I grab his hair and bring him closer to me, "you belong to me and you know it," I bite him and he stays still. He used to resist before, lately he enjoys it, I don't feel like biting the women I've been with, but he provokes me, I would love to bite his backside. I stop biting him and he stays still on my chest.
All the damage that these families do to him, his brothers, his father, even my father hates him and he hasn't done anything wrong, he's just too innocent to survive in our families. I will protect him like I protect Andrés. I caress Mateo's back, he's very pensive, I hope this doesn't affect him.
I always feel ashamed to know that I am part of something as disgusting as these families, they have harmed so many, even their own lineage, to enrich themselves. Frederick is a good man, but like Mateo, his homosexuality made him be exiled and unworthy of being part of the dynasty.
"Your father is Darius Edevane, I didn't expect that. He's as bad as my father, that's why they get along so well, we both have very bad fathers," Mateo says to smile, but in his eyes I only see sadness. It's hard to be marked by the things our relatives have done.
"Do you know your four brothers?" I nod. Unlike Mateo, I have four brothers as unpleasant as my father, they know I am an illegitimate son and I even come across my father at gatherings, but we have never touched on the subject, our hatred is mutual.
"Your sister is married to my brother, they are bad, once they left me abandoned in the garden maze, I stayed there until night. My dad scolded me because of them, I was never as strong as he wanted," he says sadly.
"Mateo, we are stronger than they estimate and better than the rest, it's just that their ambition doesn't let them see it," I say, encouraging him. Those idiots hurt Mateo, since he was small and innocent, it must have been hard for him to survive that.
"Do you really believe that?" His eyes light up.
"Of course, and even your uncle Frederick thinks the same." We are better and I know that at some point they may need us, and that's what worries me. Mateo is still a minor and his father could force him to return at any time, but I won't allow that to happen. Mateo blindly trusts me, I need to keep him away as much as possible from all the secrets of his family and to know the origin of my mother, maybe I have some relative who needs to know what happened to her and that she has a son.
"Ezequiel, since this is going to be a shared room, can I bring some stuffed animals?" Mateo asks enthusiastically, pulling me out of my thoughts. This is not good, he is very effeminate and will want to turn my room into a girl's room, I regret telling him to stay in my room.
"Ezequiel, please..." He looks at me pleadingly, I can't deny him anything.
"Okay, but don't make it as exaggerated as your office," I warn him.
"My office is pretty," he defends, his office is very colorful and with many stuffed bears.
"Whatever you say," I say seriously.
"Thank you. Although you seem scary, you are very cute," I look at him threateningly, that's what I told the idiot Pablo, "and sexy," he blushes.
"I'm told that often," I say laughing, I know he wants me to have sex with him, "how do you know if you're gay if you haven't had sex with a man?" Mateo is surprised by the question, I like that every time I talk about sex he looks as innocent and confused as a little rabbit. I think there are many things I like about him, but I don't like men.