It was June 24, and spring had concluded. The sunlight was direct, casting clear and well-defined shadows on the ground. The minimal cloud cover allowed the sun's rays to reach the ground unhindered, resulting in a noticeable increase in temperatures. On this day, the sky was clear with a few small clouds scattered around, formed by tiny water droplets. On this now-summer afternoon of June 24th, a businesswoman named Albirteuno Eiustanogre concluded her workday.
Albirteuno Eiustanogre had been anticipating this afternoon, as she had a date with her boyfriend that she was really excited for. After getting prepared, she felt good and ready to go. She was looking forward to enjoying this date with her boyfriend, it had been at least a week since they had last gotten to go out and eat.
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"WHAT!" Shouted Albirteuno Eiustanogre, shocked by what her boyfriend had just said.
"I said I wanna break up." Said Tim John, Albirteuno Eiustanogre's potentially now ex-boyfriend. "Also don't shout, you're gonna disturb the other customers."
A heavy silence enveloped them as she absorbed the words he had just said. She had been absolutely dumbstruck by his nonchalance that she hadn't processed his words at first. "Why?" Albirteuno Eiustanogre finally managed to utter in confusion. Tim John leaned back, seemingly unfazed.
"I thought the neutral ambiance of this familiar restaurant would help soften the emotional blow."
Albirteuno's shifted to a bewildered expression. "What? You're breaking up with me and you thought ambiance was the key factor?" Tim John nodded earnestly. "Ambiance is crucial in delicate situations."
"That's besides the point, I was trying to ask, why are we breaking up, not why are you doing it here!" Shouted Albirteuno Eiustanogre in exasperation. Tim John ran his hand through his hair as if trying to find the right words. "Listen, it's not me, it's you."
"Huh?! Isn't it usually the other way around? Also, what do you mean it's me?!" She shouted in irritation. Tim John sighed. "It's just, it's your name." Albirteuno stared at Tim John with a deadpan look. "What do you mean it's my name? Are you seriously about to break up with me because of my name?"
"It's not just your current name, every month, you decide to change your name, and you always choose one that's just as complicated and hard to remember, like, what if next month you just decide to call yourself Alwvab Sizsodk?" Albirteuno Eiustanogre couldn't comprehend that the trivial matter of her changing names every month had become the catalyst for this significant decision.
"You're ending our relationship because you find it inconvenient to remember my names? Is that really what this is about?" Albirteuno shook her head in incredulity. Tim John shrugged, "I mean, what if we get pulled over, and the cop asks for your ID? It's like you're trying to play Russian roulette with your name." Albirteuno Eiustanogre stared at him in disbelief. "Tim, that's not how Russian roulette works, and we've never been pulled over!"
Tim John continued with his reasoning, "Look, Albirteuno, I need stability in my life. A stable name, a stable relationship, and stable ambiance during breakup conversations. Is that too much to ask?" Albirteuno's frustration peaked. "We share an apartment! We drove here together! You never once thought to bring this up before deciding on this dramatic restaurant breakup?" Tim John scratched his head. "Well, the car ride was short, and like, you know, I didn't want to ruin the ambiance." Albirteuno threw her hands up. "You're breaking up with me over a naming crisis, and you're still worried about ambiance? Seriously?" Tim John shrugged again, "I just think it's important to consider all aspects of a situation, you know?"
Albirteuno realized the futility of arguing further. "If that's how you feel, Tim, then I guess there's nothing more to say." She stood up, gathering her things. As Albirteuno prepared to storm towards the exit, Tim John, undeterred by the chaos he just caused, motioned to the waiter for the check. "Can I get the bill, please? And maybe a to-go bag for the leftover emotional baggage?" Albirteuno shot him a glare, "Did you just make a joke about our breakup?" Tim John grinned sheepishly, "Well, you know, they say humor is the best medicine."
Albirteuno couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry at the absurdity of the situation. "You break up with me over my names, make a restaurant scene, and now you're cracking jokes about emotional baggage? You're unbelievable, Tim." She stormed out, leaving Tim John sitting alone in the now awkwardly quiet restaurant. The waiter, who had been eavesdropping on their breakup drama, brought the bill with a forced smile. "Here's the check. And I hope the emotional baggage fits in the to-go bag."
Meanwhile, Albirteuno Eiustanogre, now outside the restaurant, was fuming and contemplating whether she should hitchhike home and start a new life as Alwvab Sizsodk, just to spite Tim John. but she soon realized Tim John had both the car and apartment keys, so she would need to wait for him.
After what felt like an eternity, Tim John finally sauntered out of the restaurant, waving the to-go bag in his hand as if it was a trophy. "Ready to go?" he asked with an oblivious smile. Albirteuno couldn't believe the audacity. "Ready to go where, Tim? You just broke up with me in there!" Tim John shrugged. "Well, yeah, but we still have to go home, right?" Albirteuno rolled her eyes. "You're unbelievable. Fine, let's just go home." As they drove home in awkward silence, she couldn't help but think about what the coming days would bring. The neutral ambiance of that restaurant had given way to the reality of their new lives.