*Kiara's POV*
"May I kiss you?"Adriel asked,his fingers doing a smooth brush on my cheek.
His glassy eyes stared deep into mine,tortured,needy.I saw a glint of affection in the gray pools of his eyes,like candle resistant to turbulent winds.I stared at his lips and turned my face away cursing myself for even debating the thought,what's worse was that the side of me that wanted to kiss him was more persistent and was winning the debate.
I thought of Aunt Lydia's words and the thousands of warnings that I should follow,my heart pounding sent a foreign desire to my veins.
He kissed my cheek softly...it was so close to my lips and it burned like a thousand flames not to be able to taste him,to suppress this need,this growing greed of him.
I turned back to him rapidly as I felt his scent go farther away.I didn't want him to pull away,no.My eyes found his,pleading for something I wasn't sure I knew.He returned and patiently lingered above my lips carefully running a smooth finger over my bottom lip,doing exceptional wonders to my breathing pace.
I couldn't fake it anymore, I moved my face and inch closer and as if that was all the permission he needed,his lips crashed onto mine ,pulling me in…it was soft then like a burst of volcano.The fire spread everywhere.
The taste of him filled me like a drug,and God knows I was already addicted to it.His free hand pulled on my waist,considerably close to my ass.Pulling me so close our breaths seemed to be entwined in one.He had a rhythm in the way he kissed,a rhythm that I surprisingly knew and matched.
I circled my hands around his broad shoulders,pulling him even closer.
There a loose grip on my neck keeping my head in place as the kiss got rougher,hotter and more passionate.I felt wet between my thighs and the hardening of my nipples at the same time.
Desperation courses through me and I heard myself moan into the kiss.
He tucked my hair to the side and kissed my neck all the while loosening the stings from the back of my nightgown,the silk fabric dropped to my hips, the cold wind licked my body and his touch transformed the cold to pleasurable heat.He let out a low needy groan as his lips circled around the flesh of my bare breast.The sound of him thrilled my very spine,it was such a spellbinding sound,it turned me on even more,at this point I felt I would explode.
"Adriel..."I whispered, arching my back forward,shamelessly offering myself to be taken.
Then like a horrible blinding flash.He stopped.
I looked into his eyes in confusion,I would have asked what happened but my breaths were shuddering from the emptiness I felt,an emptiness he just created,a deep void I feared only he could fill.
He pulled away from me and wiped his eyes like he woke up from a daze.
"You should get some sleep.There is still a long way to go."he said calmly,awkwardly putting his hands in his pocket indifferently.Like nothing at all had happened.
I noticed he wasn't even looking into my eyes anymore,did he not want to?Why not....What on Earth did I do wrong.
I pulled my nightgown over my breasts and tried to say something,anything at this point but the effects of him were playing with my senses too much to talk so I looked away,disgusted at myself for being an idiot.For allowing this,for wanting him.
"Good night."he said and walked away nonchalantly,leaving my entire body in anguish for his presence. I watched astounded and hurt as the door closed behind him.
I burst with sudden anger.Who did he think he was,playing games with me.
I threw an innocent pillow across the room in fury,raining curses on him under my breath.I wore my nightgown properly and searched for water...I felt like I will die of thirst.I found water nearby but quickly discovered after a long sip that I wasn't thirsty for water.I was thirsty for him, and only him.
I sat at the edge of my bed and began cursing again,this time it wasn't him I was swearing,it was myself...for missing him.I stared at my door hoping for two things,that he came back and that he didn't dare come back.
* * *
"Good morning."Carlotta's voice called,sounding more optimistic than usual.
"Morning..."I replied dryly,nothing was good about the morning.
"What happened with this poor pillow?"Carlotta asked, bringing the cute white pillow to the bed.
"I threw it there because ..." I said, sitting up wearily. "It was uncomfortable to sleep with."
"Really? she asked, squeezing the apparently soft pillow. "It's usually the type of pillow you like."
"Why do you sound so happy?" I asked, discarding the pillow topic. It was one thing to lie first thing in the morning; it was entirely another to keep lying for the first ten minutes. The devil must be happy.
Carlotta did a strange giggle as she walked to the curtains to allow more light in.
The morning sun over the hardwood furniture provided a seemingly warm embrace that seemed not to reach me. I pulled the covers over my shoulders for some reason. Perhaps it was because I still felt naked.
"So,last time I was here,I noticed that the Cresmoon garden only had ornamental flowers. At the time, I appreciated the aesthetic, but when I found out that we were going to sleep here,I panicked a little, wondering where to find jasmine flowers for your morning tea,'' she yelled over her shoulder ,walking into the bathroom.
I sat numb, waiting for the end of the story. Perhaps good news will make me feel alive again.
She came back in with a steady glow in her tone. "I asked the kitchen staff, and they said there was no way to get them in time."
"What's so good about that?" I groaned, rubbing my eyelids.
"Oh well, it seems they were wrong because there was a pretty large quantity of it in the kitchen this morning... I overheard that your fiance asked specifically that they find a way to provide it."
My gaze dropped, and I sighed. "Is my bath ready?"
"But..the tea. Don't you think it was thoughtful of him to get your favourite tea?"
"No," I answered curtly. "He is an ass, and that small gesture means nothing at all to me. It doesn't justify anything he has done; it's not like I would have died without the tea." But I swear,it felt like I could have died last night.
"We all start somewhere, don't we?" Carlotta said she was coming closer to the bed.
"I thought you hated him." I muttered.
"Hate is a strong word. I do not like him. That's all.The tea does well with his case" Carlotta said thoughtfully.
I climbed out of bed and headed to the bathroom. I wasn't going to waste my time talking about that man.
Minutes after my bath and an uneventful dress up,I headed downstairs for my breakfast. I had mixed feelings about the thought of having to see him. I didn't know how to pretend or if I should pretend at all. I had no clue what to do or say; all I knew was that I was mad at him.
I chinned up, ready to give the silent treatment. However, my face fell when I saw Shadrach alone at the table.
"Shadrach..."
"Good morning, Darling." Shadrach smiled at me. His face was healed and free of cuts and marks.
I had a little ick when I heard him call me that. It sounded more sexy when Adriel did it, but somehow it sounded stereotypical now. I suddenly didn't like the endearment any more.
"Morning," I replied, taking a seat beside him.
"How did you sleep? he asked,seeming concerned by my frown.
"Alright." I shrugged, forcing my face to ease up. I failed. I found my eyes sweeping the large room for a sign of Adriel. I found none. At all.
"Looking for something?" Shadrach asked, nudging me playfully.
"No..." I said, looking at the delicacies on the table. I picked up an apple and munched into it. Hard. As if it were the cause of my troubles.
"Do you think my fiance already had breakfast?" I asked,trying to sound absent-minded, but it came out as the opposite.
"Considering how early he went, I don't think so."
"What?" I asked with my mouth full of half-chopped apples.
Shadrach shrugged. "He was seen leaving very early this morning.He left his men here though; at least he remembered that it was his responsibility to keep you safe, right?"
I swallowed and kept quiet for a while. My nerves twitched a little too hard for someone I despised. I took another bite of my apple, and it tasted sour this time. I placed it down and leaned back in my chair.
"Why do you think he left? Did he tell anyone why?" I found myself asking pathetically.
This time Shadrach gave me a look—a certain look that indicated that I cared too much—but I kept my gaze steady.
"No,he did not," he said finally. "Honestly,I'm glad he is gone."
I nodded and poured myself some jasmine tea,hoping it had the same soothing effect as before.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes."
"You do not seem fine."
I sighed hopelessly, putting the cup on my lips. "I didn't sleep well,that's all."
He placed his hand over mine and squeezed. "I knlw you are dealing with a lot,will always be here if you want to talk,okay?"
I withdrew my hand. "Thank You."
"Do you want to?"
"Not now." I said it softly. "Please don't press on it."
Shadrach remained silent through the entire breakfast when he realised that I wasn't going to talk. A little more pressure, and I would snap and still won't reveal anything. These were times when silence was just the perfect solution.
He finished his breakfast early and decided to go get the carriages and the men ready to continue our journey.
I remembered abruptly that I had kissed Shadrach before. It was a long time ago, yes, but Christ, it happened. A part of my brain asked me who was the better kisser. I rolled my eyes and sipped some tea. That wasn't something I wanted to think about.
But Shadrach's kiss was really sweet, and he must be a good kisser, right? He had a nice build and was almost as tall as Adriel. I decided judging between them could not be fair because I could barely remember Shadrach. Just thinking of Adriel kissing me made me wet instantly. It made me hot and needy. It was sweet at first,then it turned heated, passionate, urgent, and dangerous.I don't think I will ever forget. I don't think I could ever forget last night.
My shoulders dropped dramatically at the possibility that he might not feel the same way; why else would he stop?Or leave?
Honour? No. Adriel wasn't one to give a damn about sex after marriage,and yet he stopped. He left me without an explanation. Irritation crawled in my very skin, not knowing why he stopped or left without even saying goodbye. Maybe I was expecting too much from him. Roughly twenty-four hours earlier, I would have been nothing but happy if he had left. But now I was offended..hurt.How could he not just care after everything?
Urgh, I was fooling myself again. Who was I kidding?
He was the Adriel Valerian. The bad boy was just playing around. I am foolish for being so invested. That will never happen again. I wasn't his toy for when he was bored or horny.
This marriage will have to work on both our terms, and I will make that crystal clear to him the next time I see his goddamn face. I will not be…
"Kiara?" Shadrach called. Snapping me out of my thoughts.
"Hm?" I answered, turning to the door.
"Are you ready to go? he inquired.
"Yes." I said getting up. "I just have to meet the Cresmoon Royals to show my gratitude, and we will be on our way."
"Do you want me to come with you? he asked.
"No. I'm okay." I replied with a sweet smile, as if to compensate for my mental absence earlier. I couldn't lose my true friends now,especially not because that son of a gun put me in a bad mood.
I decided to put myself in good spirits,After a few hours on the road, I will be able to explain to my dear husband-to-be the new terms of our marriage.
No sexual contact.