School is breaking off for winter break tomorrow morning. It also marks the end of middle school,meaning we have been promoted to another level in our education journey.
I aced all of my exams except the notorious mathematics. Of course it had to stand out as a sore thumb with an ugly D while all the rest were A's. It doesn't matter though,I'm glad I passed and now I have something to make my mama proud of me. I atleast want her to feel proud for having a brilliant boy.
Hmm,I can only imagine her stoic face,but a boy can have dreams. Mine is to make mama proud of me,I don't want to see her mad at me. I don't want to end up being hit and covered in scars because I performed terribly while others performed better than me.
"Little Julian,can I have a word with you?" The school principal called,I answered with a nod and followed his steps to his office. He pulled out a folder and sat it in front of him. "Feel free to take a seat wherever you feel comfortable." He said.
It would be impolite of me to seat at a distance,so I sat right infront of his desk,maintained a stiff posture as to not break or damage anything. I don't want issues at the end.
"So how does it feel?" He asked.
"How does what feel? I don't understand,sir" I tried to remain composed,even though I could barely breathe. He is initiating small talk with me yet even being within Five meters radius is suffocating me.
"Well,your scores are above average. Except for your motor enemy,but every other subject was passed. I feel proud of you,you're intelligent and if you keep it this way,you won't have to pay for college. It'll give your mother some financial relief."
"Thank you sir. But I feel nervous,especially since I have to start afresh. Sometimes I wish we could skip that part and continue with how the curriculum is,but then the thrill of wanting to acquire more knowledge from scratch is a necessity." I had now loosened up a bit,my breath had leveled up and my hands were nolonger sweaty.
"I agree with you. The idea of not having any knowledge about something is scary but the ecstasy that comes with learning new things is a different kind of good feeling."
"Yeah."
Principle Jerry Star Tory was a man of words,knowledgeable words. He had a unique approach to matters. He always made sure that when he spoke,everyone understood. That and the fact that he has always been approachable and relatable made my time here delightful.
I sure am going to miss him.
We talked for a while with him doing most of the talking until it had become a bit awkward so we bid our farewells.
I walked back to the compound where most of my classmates were and joined them. Of course I didn't miss their glares and snares but regardless we move,today we're here tomorrow we're not.
The school staff held an assembly and officially sent us off to our next step. High school.
~~~~~~~~~
I'm feeling a little bit too jolly. It scares me whenever I get to feel happy without any reason. Any day that starts with this kind of vibe never ends well.
I rose from my sheets and folded my small mattress and kept it in its designated corner,started on my chores for the day before anybody woke up asking for breakfast. By anybody I mean mama and her precious son,Zius.
I guess to them I was more of a live in housemaid who worked day in and out without a day off no matter the season,than a member of their family. I accepted my fate and took no offense in the way I was treated. All that mattered to me was that I stayed in school and always held onto the hope that some day I will be independent and my current status as a male Cinderella,will be nothing but past memories.
I did my work diligently,making sure not to wake anybody up until I was done with the breakfast,because right after I will have to start on lunch.
The frigid winter morning paired with my barely existent endurance to coldness was proving to be a special recipe for disaster. I had chills and runny nose,yet it's just eight o'clock.
"Hey Julian." Randie,greeted.
"Hi Randie,how are you." I returned the greetings.
"I'm fine thank you. It's a cold morning,why don't you put on more warmer clothes?" She asked with concern.
"I'm still busy right now,I'll put on a jacket and socks after I'm done."
"Okay,I thought you weren't feeling cold since it's your birthday today. Happy birthday." Randy pulled out a mini packet of butter biscuits and gave it to me.
That's when realization hit me. I've been giddy all morning because it's my birthday. I wonder where my mind had wandered off too all morning,I can't believe that I almost forgot the day I was largely looking forward to all year round.
"Holy!!!" I exclaimed
"Don't tell me you had forgotten. I should've eaten my biscuits in secret." She teased.
"Thank you so much Randie." My eyes had started tearing up,feeling overwhelmed by joy. She gave me a quick hug before running off before one of our moms found us.
In my mundane life,Randie was the extraordinary dose of relief that alleviated my pain,the good kind of change I needed. She always exuded love and a solace.
We have a lot in common with Randie and a few differences as well. She is a sweet heart,even though she is five years older than me,she never hesitated to greet me.
Our mothers were against our friendship and while everybody else my age group bullied me,she never did. I guess since she could also relate somehow,that's why she never looked at me with hatred or malice. She smiled brightly while I struggled to embrace my state. We go to different schools and only meet when we're both on breaks.
I hid my gift,probably the only one I will be getting for the rest of the day and resumed my tasks.
The rest of the day was a blurr,with me literally avoiding getting hit by mother kn my birthday. I had to make sure that I don't end up with bruises,at least,not today.
As expected my mother forgot about my birthday,not even being bothered one bit when I told her about my grades. So yeah that's it.
_________________
I can't say that I recall much about my childhood,nor can I say that I forgot it all. Rather it feels like a labyrinth in my mind whenever I try to figure out what happened when and how.
I was still trying to figure out how I got to the point where my birthday no longer made me giddy. That's how I ended up with this piece of memory. And it's so vivid,you can never mistake it for an illusion.
Where did all that enthusiasm and eagerness vanish to? What exactly happened that made me quit celebrating my bittersweet birthday?
Anyway,all that doesn't matter that much anymore. I'm gonna spend this year's birthday,which is tomorrow with Adrien. I guess I'll have to invite him over. I want nothing but to lay in my bed and make it a lazy day. It will be the first one I will be celebrating with him as my lover.
At least this time round,I'm not feeling anxious or any of those other emotions I felt back then. I rather feel like a blank page,one that's ready to be filled.