FREYA
Time seemed to stretch endlessly as I sat by the flickering candle, its milky flame pointing accusingly upwards. Each passing moment felt like an eternity, the weight of uncertainty pressing down on me like a heavy shroud.
I had finally done all that I could, I was out of cards to play. Now, all that was left was for me to wait. Wait for any sign, any glimmer of hope that would lead me to Adrien.
But the silence that enveloped the room was deafening, broken only by the occasional crackle of the fireplace and the soft breaths of my sleeping son. Every little noise sent my heart racing with anticipation.
My mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, each one more haunting than the last. What if the spell failed? What if Adrien was beyond reach, lost to me forever? The thought of it was unbearable, causing a cold knot of fear to tighten in my chest.
But amidst the fear and uncertainty, a flicker of hope remained. I clung to it desperately, willing it to grow brighter with each passing moment.
Hope was a fickle thing, it toyed with your feelings and gave you the illusion that things would be better. My candlelight was my hope and I refused to believe that this was the end, that I would never see my husband again. It just wasn't possible.
I knew I would not get my magical point to his location tonight, but I had hoped. This was where I needed to be patient, now that I knew he was alive, I would be the physical embodiment of patience. I would wait for Adrien.
The candle needed to be put away, where it would not be seen or found. I was not ready to share this with anyone if I ever would. It wasn't just the paranoia, I would no longer be accepted.
I carried the lit candle to the dressing room and placed it in the wooded closet holding Adrien's belongings. I had instructed for his thing to be left the way it was, and my need to see it untouched was coming in handy now.
His part of the dressing room was gathering a bit of dust already but I would rather have it this way than any other. At least, I was certain that my candle would remain out of sight.
The flame was not an issue as it was cold to feel and lacked the ability to burn anything. Casting a final glance at the candle, I pushed the closet door shut.
I tried to imagine how long the locator spell would take, but I had no other instance to compare it with, waiting was the only way to find out.
I noticed the cold marble floor underneath my feet for the first time as I cleared away the mess from my spell casting. All my attention had been on the candle and spell. I quickly went through the process, eager to return to the warmth of my bed.
Minutes later, I was done and I found my way back to my warm bed and sheets. Killian slept soundly, maybe I was imagining it, but some of the earlier distress had eased from his face, like he knew things were going to get better soon. I would make sure that the situation indeed got better.
I kissed his head and pulled my son to me, snuggling him close. I would weather this storm for us, and my family would come out whole at the end of this.
******
I arose bright and early the next morning, very much earlier than was usual. Since Adrien's disappearance, I slept in more, often reluctant to face the reality of another day without him, but with my locator spell being cast already, I was vibrating with enthusiasm and hope.
Hurriedly, I changed myself into a normal day dress; it was a bright blue, matching the new light in my eyes. It was the brightest shade I had worn in a long time.
Ana wasn't here yet, not exactly her fault, and I was too pumped up with energy to wait or call on her.
I left my hair down, later when I got hold of Ana, we would do something to it. But for now, down was fine.
I left my sleeping boy and ventured to the East wing of the castle. I hardly visited there and the last time was during Killian's birth.
Ishmael would be there, in his room. It was too early for him to be out yet and I needed to see him and talk, there were things I wanted to put in place.
The thought that it was improper for me to visit his room crossed my mind for a second and I pushed it aside, it wasn't like anything untoward would occur, he was like an older brother I never had so it was fine.
The cleaning maids were up and they worked diligently, dusting every surface. They all greeted me as I passed.
Soon, I was on the east side of the castle. Locating his room took a little while because of the vast amount of rooms in the wing.
Perhaps I should have remembered that it was Ishmael's personal space and knocked before entering but I didn't and I was glad about what I got to find out.
"Ishmael, you need to teach me to fight." I said as I pushed the door open and entered the room. But I halted, immediately regretting my decision.
Ishmael was in the room alright, more than that, he was gloriously naked, muscles flexing and blond tresses bouncing around as he pounded over and over again into a certain familiar figure.
She knelt atop the bed on all fours, facing the door and her hair usually wrapped up in a snood was splayed all over her back. Her pleasure was vividly painted on her face, her mouth open on a wild moan. Maybe I might have heard them and refrained from barging in if I had listened for a moment.
They continued, unaware of my presence yet.
"Ana?" I called, shocked to the bone. What was she doing?
Ishmael stopped his movements immediately, his usually composed demeanor shattered as they both separated and he hastily pulled a sheet around his waist, and beside him, Ana's cheek flushed crimson, her eyes wide with embarrassment as she clutched the sheet to her chest.
Finally clothed in a gown, Ana stared at me with guilty eyes and I stared back, unable to process what I had seen. I was in awe, since when had this been going on between them I wondered.
Slowly, pieces fell into place and understanding dawned on me.
"Ana, explain this!"
"My Lady, I—I'm sorry. I never meant for you to find out this way." Ana stammered, wringing her hands and her tearful eyes meeting mine. Her hair was still in disarray, disobedient strands flying around. Her lips were plump and reddened from kisses I was sure.
My initial shock gave way to conflicting emotions. Anger simmered beneath the surface, mingling with a sense of betrayal and a tinge of envy. "Since when has it been going on?"
"Freya." Ishmael cut in, he was still sitting while Ana stood.
"I asked Ana the question." I backfired, not looking away from her. He went mute immediately, sighing.
"I did not mean to hide it from you, My lady." She answered quietly. "I just couldn't find the right time to tell you amidst all that was happening."
There probably wasn't a right time to tell with all that I was going through, that was true. Nodding, I uttered what was really bothering me about their arrangement.
"Please tell me that you both are doing this because you are in love and it's not some dirty thing you thought would be fine."
Ana gazed lovingly at Ishmael before answering me. "I love him, My Lady. I would not be here right now if it weren't for that." She muttered honestly, and warning bells went off in my head.
The look in her eyes, coupled with her soft tone told me all I needed to know. She looked innocent and very much smitten and in that moment, I realized that she wasn't just my handmaiden; she was a woman in love seeking solace in the arms of her lover. I hated Ishmael in that instance for Ana was very dear to me and I could see how this would end if he didn't return her feelings.
"Ishmael?" I turned to him, to hear what he had to say. His gaze held no trace of remorse, just a quiet determination as he met my eyes. He also looked at Ana who was still close to him despite the situation they both were in before answering me.
"You asked me how I was doing, well this is it. Ana has kept me sane this whole time."
It wasn't exactly a declaration of love like Ana, but it wasn't far from it either. With a heavy sigh, I let go of my anger. I could not fault them for finding comfort in each other.
"That was all I needed to know." I whispered softly, my voice barely above a whisper. I'll admit that I was more than a little jealous of them and the empty space in my heart panged to be filled with Adrien. They were lucky to be together. "I may not condone it, but I understand." I smiled.
Ana's relief was instant, her features immediately brightening up. Her shoulders sagged with the weight of a burden lifted. "Oh thank you so much, My lady." She bounced on her feet. Ishmael's expression softened, a hint of gratitude shining in his eyes.
I could tell that they had been skeptical about letting me know. I didn't mind their affair, I just wanted Ana safe. Ishmael was every woman's dream, getting any woman was quite easy for him. I needed to be sure that Ana would not get hurt by this.
"I guess we'll have that talk later, Ishmael." And with that I turned, leaving the room. I cast a last glance at them before closing the door. He had pulled Ana back to him and was whispering something to her to which she was attentively listening. He seemed to be assuring her, and my heart broke for the loss of what I had shared with Adrien.
I missed him so much already, I wished the locator spell would work faster than it already was. I needed my king back.