When I am pushed into the hole, I turn to look up and catch a glimpse of chains all over the mad star.
I want to question it, but when his figure disappears from my sight, so do my questions.
And I fall further down the rabbit hole. The dark grey now becoming jagged clumps of brown dirt with twigs poking out of it. It really is like Alice in wonderland, who followed the rabbit into another world.
Except I was pushed in. Heading for reality instead of a wonderland. And there was no rabbit but an otherworldly being and a criminal prince instead of a mad queen of hearts.
Once I'm out of this hole, will I land on my exposed toosh and feel harsh pain? Or as a soul, will I float into the ground instead?
Soon the speed of my fall begins to slow down. A light slowly creeping from below me.
Becoming brighter and brighter, forcing me to shield my eyes.
And once I feel I made it through, I take a cautious peek and find myself standing in a rather cloudy world. Large trees swaying in the wind and the dead looking grass flapping harshly. Not just that, I can see the magic flowing through nature more clearly than when I was in my body.
I suppose seeing everything as clear as the most expensive computer costed me my senses. The storm brewing here, swaying all the trees and grass, the sprinkling water from the clouds pounding against the ground into thin snow-- I can't feel it. No coolness smoothing the hairs on my skin nor the droplets pounding against my face.
Just a bare, transparent body with no sense of taste, smell, or touch. It's like having a bad cold where the only thing you can physically feel is this distant throb of your aching heart and rushing blood.
I shake my head. Enough thinking, I must find a body. Though, where? This place is unfamiliar and empty. Devoid of any sight of true life. So where to start?
I close my eyes and decide to Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe it.
A point here, a point there and....
"You." I open my eyes and find myself pointing at the direction of where the mountains in the distant, stood, with their top covered with heavy snow.
Not that there will be people up there, but I do think it'll give me a better sight of the entire land from a peak. It beats wandering around aimlessly.
"Alright. Let's do it!"
In no less than what felt like a couple of hours, I'm dragging my legs in exhaustion. Gasping and bending at the immense pain crawling up my legs and spine.
"I've never...." I gasp, gulping down my tiredness. "....I never have worked out this much before, aha. Let alone, in a non-physical form that shouldn't even be experiencing the same troubles as a physical body would!!"
It does not make any sense! I have no body yet I feel exhaustion!!
In retaliation I kick snow, or at least try to, with no avail. Then I try and try again before letting out an angry shout into the gloomy sky.
Wait, am I even breathing right now?
"...anyone there...?" A weak voice whispers into the harsh wind. Making me jump a bit in surprise.
"Can you see me?" I ask the voice.
But what I stupid question for me to ask as my eyes fall upon the body of a rather weak and thin guy. Drenched in either snow or something else, his poor clothes ragged, like it's been through tears and gnawing by wild monsters or even people.
The guy then looks up at the sky. His pale and ghostly face devoid of warmth regardless of his ragged beard. His lips dry and cracked, his burgundy hair almost dead in color. And his lifeless black eyes reflected not the sky but his deepest pain.
I see it then past the immense pain, a darkness and desperation. Although he has the ability to give up and die, he's clinging onto life. He wants to live and won't allow for what light he has left to run out.
I decide to follow the sick figure struggling through the thick coat of crunching snow. His frail body shivering as a gust of wind picks up the pace.
"F....f-fuck." He stutters, hugging his torso tightly. A trail of clear snot falling to the ground.
The man is struggling to hang onto consciousness. His courage wearing thin just like his energy and strength. You can tell from the shrinking light on his eyes.
There's a chance he will die if he strains his body. After all, he's a fragile human being. But I'm guessing that's why he's pushing through. Because humans do everything they can to survive in order to achieve their goals.
Though, the light in him vanishes just as quickly as the faint strength his legs had. Causing his body to collapse into the snow.
I watch his breath become weaker and weaker. Inching towards death. At that moment, I wish to help and reach for his arm. But as expected, my hand falls right through.
I'm just a wandering ghost. Lost and in need of a body in order to return to my path.
"You remind me of myself..." I whisper suddenly to him, a part of me wishing he could hear while the other was aware that he couldn't. "I was once struggling, wandering the streets after a fight at home. Trying to survive in a world so selfish, ignorant, and unforgiving. And I only had myself to lean on when shit went bad. I could've died from all my near-death experiences. But I kept on going. I wanted to survive. Push through my limits, just as you are now. And here I am. Flushed into another world just as cruel and unforgiving. I suppose life is funny that way."
I reach out again, aiming for the man's shoulder this time but back up.
Perhaps I can check real quick if there's any civilization close by. Just to see how far he'd be since it looked like he knew where to go.
I turn to the direction he would go, which is straight ahead, and begin to walk. I'll be back.
After a few minutes of walking with the man's body disappearing in the dark, I end up finding it.
Right there! I can't believe that there is a cottage out here in the middle of nowhere. And the dying man is about a handful of steps away. If he continues for about 5 minutes, he can be there and get the help he needs! But how do I encourage him to continue? How can I, a now wandering soul, help a living being?
I take a closer look into the frosted window of the cottage.
A family of four, dancing and eating happily without a care in the world. Their smiles genuine and their warmth for each other as hot as the sun.
Wow, I'm quite poetic. I suppose Ezephyr rubbed it on me. That or I'm getting as old as the Ice Age.
I immediately rush back to the frail man, whose body remained still.
"You're so close." I whisper in hopes he can hear me.
Suddenly, he begins to pick up his body. His arms shaking at his own weight.
"Don't give up..." The both of us whisper at the same time in different tones. "Keep going."
I watch in surprise as he wobbles back into his two feet. His cloudy breath now heavy and his cheeks flushing with warmth. Despite death waiting, he still gives no sign of surrendering.
"C'mon. There's a house up ahead. Just keep going and you'll be there." I tell, looking at the direction and pointing at the faint smoke wiggling out of the chimney. "Look for the smoke."
Out of pure instinct, I reach out and touch his shoulder.
Suddenly, a wave of desire flushes over me as I continue touching.
I need his body. I want to be human. I want to feel again. I want to make him pay.
I push myself away shaking my head and continue to overlook the frail man pushing himself against the snow. Huffing and huffing harshly, the violent wind sweeping the visible breath away.
"Excuse me."
I turn to the masculine voice in surprise. "Yes--?"
Before me at a distance stands a rather tall figure. With her buzzed, black hair covered in gold and silver leaves. Skin a transparent grey and her body is naked with only a translucent black cloak over her shoulders and her breasts oddly devoid of nipples and no....privates. But her body is the only bare thing, for on her delicate face she wears a type of face mask made entirely of thorns and thin, shriveled roots. On each corner, a root curved up the head, making it look like tiny horns.
I can immediately tell she's not alive and that's why she can see me. That her transparent body bearing visibly cracked bones, isn't the sign of a live person nor of a monster. The answer immediately pops up in my mind.
"Death?"
Death remains motionless and unreactive. "You could have helped yourself and taken his body. But you didn't. You helped give him the strength to fight for his life."
Despite how surprising her masculine voice was, I turn my focus on the matter at hand. Back at the collapsed, barely breathing man who is still climbing towards the house, even more closer than before.
"It's the least I can do for him. From one human to another. And besides, it feels wrong to take an occupied body."
"Oh, such the social and empathetic creatures you humans are." The woman exhales melancholy. "Let us see if this life you denied to take over is worth the praise."
"Who is he anyway?"
"His name is Attam. Twenty eight years into his life. Was separated from his parents his on his fifth year. Ever since then, he has jumped from home to home in hopes of love or a shimmer of kindness. Instead, he has ended up finding pain and greed instead."
"Greed...?" I look at the cottage, a feeling of dread overtaking me.
The lights are out and the howling wind is filled with piercing screams begging for mercy.
Without another thought I rush into the cottage. Maybe I ran through the door but it's the least of my concerns as I find myself standing amongst bloodshed.
The pools of blood running past my ghostly feet. I allow the release of a shuddered sigh. Disappointment and hopelessness screaming at me like restless demons. Or perhaps on the same level as my noisy dreams.
"I'm sorry." Attam whispers hushingly as he puts on new clothes slightly drenched in blood. "You seem like a nice family..."
I turn to death with anger clouding my judgment. "Did you know?!" I shout.
Did she know he was a murderer? That he would end up killing a helpless family??
"Yes. For I am Limbo, the seer of both life and death, as well as those in between."
I turn to the man, Attam, who ended up slaughtering the entire family residing within the cottage. The family that could have taken him in and provide him with the support he needed.
I fall to my knees, my entire body shaking.
"Fret not, for life is not black and white, dear child."
Limbo's bare feet clamp against the wooden floor in a pattern that sounds like the pitter-patter of rain drops from a faucet. So light yet strong and pushing this dome of mysterious power.
At her last footstep, Attam turns his head to our direction. Tiny drops of tears running down his face, standing out from the smile he gave the corpses.
"Who?" He shudders, looking away. But he seems to notice something on him. And with a hand pressed against his stomach, he notices blood with a poker face. "Oh..."
"Do you wish to still cling on to this new life? Knowing well you have shed blood?" Limbo asks.
"I..." Attam releases his grip on his wound. Seemingly regretful as his smile disappears. "I thought they could help. But when I saw..." He covers his face. "They tried to kill me."
Kill? This family tried to kill him? But why?
I decide to take a look at the scene from a wider view. Drifting past the blood until I find the key in their fireplace.
A pot filled with human flesh.
"I..." I sigh. I suppose I should have known. Life has always been many shades of grey. Where we live to survive and kill. To huddle up with whoever we see as important in order to love and consume.
"He is dead." Limbo whispers into my ear, spooking me.
"Don't do that!" I gasp and look at the light in her hand. "What is that?"
With a nudge, she places a glassy cube into my hands. A feeling of warmth enveloping my hands, regardless of my lack of flesh.
The cube is glassy and it is transparent with this gleam of obsidian and silver flashing from the edges. Through the glass, I can see a miniature boy hugging his knees. Crying and hiccuping all alone with ragged clothes and messy hair.
"This is the core. Otherwise known as the soul, to others. It is what has transformed and shaped your lives. Whether that be objects, people, or even emotjons. So as long as it is of great importance. Or anything of value that makes you who you are now."
"Just like auras." I breathe. "And for him, his core was his childhood." I peer in the cube as child Attam still cried, even though he's aware of our presence now. Staring at us from the corner of his sight. It sends a shiver down whatever it is that's shivering on my ghostly body.
Limbo suddenly covers it up with a black cloth using the flick of her finger. "Thank you for the enlightenment, child. It is exceedingly rare to have company nowadays."
I nod and shake my head. "No worries. Do you not get people like me often?"
"Not in a while."
"I fear the answer but for how long?"
"About...two centuries."
"Wow that must be torture."
"Not exactly. I am a being devoid of emotional connections. I do not need social interactions to survive like humans do. But I do find pleasure in processing my thoughts and receiving outside feedback."
"I see."
"As a gift of my appreciation, I have repaired Attam's body for your keeping."
"Huh?? Really!? Is that okay for me to do?"
Limbo nods, and for a sec I thought I saw her eyes. These soulless round void of darkness with a yellow dot in the middle. Just looking at it, even for a second, gave me the shivers.
"You are not meant to be a ghost in the first place, which is why I am gifting you a body. Take it or leave it. Act fast or else the system will fail and die out."
I turn to the body of Attam with a sigh. "I thank--"
Limbo is gone. Leaving me alone in a crime scene with the body of someone who died not being able to achieve what he wanted. Or perhaps he did and I just didn't see it.
I step into the body quickly. And as I do, I can feel again.
The overwhelming sensation makes me laugh.
"You're getting it now, Sin." I huff after I call myself down. "After I figure out where I am of course..."