Reality...
One cannot trust all that they see within it, for our own eyes deceive us more than the white lies a mother would tell her own child.
I know this as someone whose life is shrouded in pain and deception. A life locked into a world made for only the hungry.
To cope with the change it would bring, I shall lie to myself before I can lie to others to keep my life intact.
To be able to see the truth and act as I must, I will become what dictates the truth...
"HEY!"
I am forced awake at the sound of a loud bang ringing in my ears.
With it still vibrating in my canal, and even my eyes, I fight the sleep to respond, "Yes? I'm awake..."
"Heh. You're....about yourself..." The voice in the dark cell requests softly.
"Uh-- yeah? Hm?" I hum and turn to the voice, the only thing I managed to catch are the words 'about yourself'. I can only assume he wants what everyone else wants. "I can't promise anything as intricate or as hooking as a dying author's forgotten book I'm nothing."
"Really? But aren't you-"
Oh, those words. I can only hold my head as they ring in my mind like an unpleasant buzz.
"Shut up." I can only murmur in hopes that it would go away.
"You--"
"Yes. I am the villain. The one that brought destruction and misfortune. A complete monster, etcetera etcetera. I assume this question has a purpose?"
The voice stays quiet for a few seconds. Maybe to collect his thoughts until he clicks his tongue.
"Tell me, how did you get here?"
"Interesting." I suspire. "Nicely worded than before."
I tap my hand against my leg as I lean against the cold and rough wall to adjust myself for comfort. But how do I make myself cozy on a floor covered with dirt, tiny rocks, and other mysteries?
I accept my place with a sigh. "First I will tell you how I ended up here."
Reminiscing of the past, although quite rare of me to do, I begin to tell the beginning of my tale...
"When you close your eyes and dream comfortably, do you know whether or not you're dreaming? Even when you smell the scent of rainfall and hear the chimes ring in the wind's soft push. Or the sharp jab of any sharp weapon piercing your flesh.
I know very well that the cycle I am experiencing every night is nothing but a trick my mind is playing on me.
An endless torment that occurred every time I picked up that corrupt, rust sword at the end of the quest in order to slay the demons nipping at my skin. Because I wanted to survive. I wanted to continue to survive, even if it meant doing everything I must to get a good night's sleep.
Can you help me understand?
Why it is that I feel my nightmares will bleed into reality?'
I stopped typing, scanning the words over and over again. But I could not help but feel it was like reading an introduction to an edgy OC on some stupid app who was about to have his life changed and be granted powers beyond comprehension.
"Powers please?" I squeaked with my arms stretched out into the air. Despite no powers flowing through me, I was granted a relaxing sensation to my sore joints.
I dropped them down again, this time thinking about how unreal my situation seemed to be.
I'm having reoccurring nightmares that feel so real and so meaningful. Yet I wake up, greeted by a cruel reality of mass control by elitists and other political powers. Not only that, but extreme social pressure to be something significant and not mess up for the sake of the country.
I dropped my face into my palms, allowing myself to drift into darkness, repeating the words, "Begone vile thoughts." Under my tired breath.
Perhaps this time I won't have a terrible dream.
And then imagine feeling yourself submerged in a bath full of hot water in a hot room without light.
Complete darkness gripping your shoulders like the devil who won a bet for your soul.
I didn't realize it until later that I had sent the message I was hesitant on sending.
I began to wonder if I made a mistake in telling my silly dreams to my friend-- including all my paranoid concerns while awake. After all, we rarely talked like we used to. And I was unable to remember certain events.
I sighed deeply as I slumped back into my chair to wait.
But why did it matter? Because it shouldn't.
Though, for some reason it did.
I told my friend that I always had this reoccurring nightmare. About more than 3 times a day when I allow myself to doze off. Always happened right after the conclusion of my addicting dream.
Sometimes they consisted of me piercing through flesh with a sword straight out of a fantasy movie (in your terms; straight out of a legend). Allowing the adrenaline and rush of my beating heart control my movements until I was completely painted in blood.
Sometimes those fleshy beings would fight back and call me names. Going from faceless to having humanistic creatures. It would be a battle until I was inching closer to death.
I remembered the pain.
I could still feel it clench my chest and stab my veins.
A deep feeling of doom looming in the core of my heart. And how there was a star hanging in the pitch black sky--
the mad star.
I abruptly sat up from my seat to stop the memory from clouding my thoughts and decided to step out for a fresh change of scenery. A breath of fresh air to cleanse my heavy lungs.
As I stepped out of my apartment, I couldn't help but shake a feeling reminiscent of deja vu. But by the time I entered my local cafe ordering my usual drink-- the feeling and thought disappeared.
"Here's your cold raspberry black tea, Art." The cashier, Yuki, sang with a bright smile as I reached for my tea. When I took a sip, she sighed. "I haven't seen or heard much of you around anymore. Did something happen?"
I shook my head, taking a seat at the small table right beside the pick up area. "Just work."
Those were lies. I haven't worked since the day of the incident. Perhaps she knew but it didn't matter. I was living, dreaming, spending, receiving, and doing my hermit things with the last of what I had left in my bank.
Yuki took a seat across from me with a hum. "The sleep bags under your eyes beg to differ. And I bet your wallet does too."
"I don't ask for your age so don't go asking for my wages either." I mumbled through my drink and when I opened my eyes, I caught Yuki checking me out. Not necessarily in a bad manner. Moreso in a 'I'm trying to see if there's anything different about you' sort of way while avoiding the obvious. Although it was quite quick since she snapped her finger with an 'aha!'
"I knew there was something off about you: you dyed your hair!"
Odd of her to have noticed a change in my hair. Though she was a young woman who knew many details about me that not even I knew. Especially the fact that I hadn't dyed it before and somehow I was inclined towards my dreams where I always seemed to have red hair. Perhaps my dreams changed my hair in reality? The thought was absurd.
"Ha ha, I'm surprised you noticed. It's all washed out by now." I lied and pulled at a portion of hair which Yuki stared at in awe. "I experimented with different ways to entertain myself. Like dying my hair. So now there are remains of a deep red here and there."
Even more lies. I had no idea I dyed my hair before. It was one of those events.
"Wow. To think, a rather old-"
"Old?"
"-and good looking man like yourself is going through such a rebellious phase?"
"Yes. I woke up one night and decided against the social norms, despite being twenty nine with no job and no fun." I joked.
"Not only once, but twice? You lose your sanity or something, man?" She added. It felt like the last sentence was meant to sound like a joke but with her tight smile, I realized it was a genuine question out of concern.
"Two colors?" I asked.
Yuki nodded, standing up to pull a handful of my hair, "Yeah, right here..." She snapped a picture and lent me her phone. And the next moment I was in the bathroom, gazing at my hair through the mirror with a concerned sigh upon seeing a portion of white hair growing from the below the dark brown roots at the back of my head.
It was barely there but still noticeable upon a closer look.
"Odd..." I muttered, the vibration of my phone pulling me out.
"If u rly need help, we can c whats up. Meet @ Kornvol park 7pm today?"
A message sent by my friend. I dragged my fingers to send a quick reply back with a chuckle. Even though I didn't get a response to what I initially asked, talking about it in person could perhaps prove to be more better.
"OK."
And I went home in a rush. Dressing up and taking many glances at the mirror, picking up strands of hair in awe.
It looked like I was reverse aging. As in, I had white hair and now turning young. And it didn't look nor smell chemically dyed at all.
But it mattered less. It was 4 in the afternoon with a lot of time to kill so what did I do? I dropped myself on bed and slept the hours away. I don't know why it was a great idea. Because what happened next, forever changed my life where I dreamed a dream where I was walking to the park at 6:58pm. The lights of the park flickering more than six times each second. Creating these shadows swarming behind me as if they had thoughts of their own.
"Attor?" I shouted, having felt unsure of my own safety as the shadows begun to reach out for me. Yet I pushed past them with my head low and muttering 'shit' under my breath as many times as I could as their grips on my body became sharper.
Fear enveloped my mind. I had no idea what was happening. Why were shadows going after me? What have a done to them? Perhaps my past incarnation did several evil doings, and the souls of his victims were coming after me for revenge.
Then I had the idea of standing still under the flickering lights whilst shielding myself from the angry mob of shadows. Perhaps they would leave me alone if I quietly submitted to their lashing as a way to appease to their anger. So as I stood in profound pain with the wind whooshing in my ears and the shadows whispering gibberish at me, I saw a human hand reach out to me from within the shadows. I did not hesitate to take it.
The mysterious hand pulled me through where I got to see how one of the shadows looked like-- a large beast with many arms and a single eye. The same type of beast I would see creeping around in the woods of my past dreams.
Once the angry shadows were far from me, the hand scooped me into a sudden hug.
"Your dreams are really intense, man." A familiar voice stated with a nervous chuckle.
"Attor!" I turned in surprise to see my friend, the one I had to meet at this park, standing across from me looking like his usual self-- dark skinned with his silver lip and brow piercings, gothic jewelry, black jeans and ripped red t-shirt. And the usual blue streak through his curly black hair. This amount of detail was extremely usual for a dream. "I've never dreamed of you before. How the hell are you in my dream?"
"Your dream?" Attor questioned, shielding himself from the harsh wind. "Art, all of this is real..."
"No, no...that can't be right. I fell asleep a little past 4pm to kill time before we meet up." I stated, unconvinced but Attor remained unconvinced for a different reason. "Look. In my dreams the sky is always red and the stars are all black except for one..." I looked up in hopes that I was right, but I wasn't.
The sky was grey and all the stars and clouds were real. Except for one star, which was red.
"I know this is all confusing. But follow me and I'll explain everything." Attor began as I rubbed my head with a shudder. His hand on my shoulder guided me to where we needed to be. Which was towards the street. Empty yet swarming with angry shadows.
"Attor...this feels real but something is missing." I rubbed my cheek, slightly pinching it more than once to confirm if it really was real.
"I see..." He breathed. "I hope you don't mind, but I brought a couple of friends. I think they'll be able to make the situation more easier to understand. And how it is that your dreams are altering our reality." After he finished talking, four or more people appeared from out of the shadows. I glared at them all with a raised brow. I was suspicious at first but Attor's lack of concern somehow also gave me a lack of concern.
I was still beyond confusion while we walked in silence through the empty streets far from the park. Glancing at the empty buildings with their lights still on but not a single soul in sight. As peaceful as it seemed, I couldn't help but feel growing concern as Attor's arm fell to just a hand tightly gripping my shoulder once he drew a deep breath.
"Everyone is gone." He simply stated before bringing up a random topic. "Remember when I dated Vanya?"
"The one who asked you out right after I got turned down after asking her out? How could I forget..."
"Ah...right..." Attor abruptly halted our walk, allowing his group of companions to walk ahead of us. "Well, guess what? I didn't say yes."
I thought the conversation was odd at the moment. But felt compelled to reply in order to clear my fears and stress. "What? You two practically hung out almost everyday. I thought you were..."
"Nahhhh, you should know she isn't my type. After all, how could I leave my bro alone?"
I watched as he lightly fist bumps my chest.
"Wow, that's oddly sentimental of you. What are you planning?" I asked. He only becomes cuddly and bromantic when he needed something.
Attor held up a finger before winking with his pierced tongue sticking out in the classic punk manner. "Doesn't matter, man. I only mentioned it to let you know you're my best friend. No matter what comes between us..."
When we continued walking, we reached the main street surrounded by tall buildings that reach for the sky. Still, not a single body or car in sight.
I would retort and make up an excuse to go home but I found myself unable to speak.
Only the familiar sense of deja vu spoke in my place.
"Do you remember this place?" Attor asked softly in a rather hushing tone as if careful not to wake something up.
"I-"
Looking at the street with squinted eyes, I realized that there's not a single noise screaming into the sky.
Just the wind whistling, and the star glaring angrily at us.
We were alone, and I felt myself gaze back at the star angrily.
'Angry?'
I began to raise a hand towards the single star glistening in the sky. So alone and afraid, until its white glow began to bleed out a deep red color. I couldn't help but shake as it began to scream bloody horrors beyond my human understanding.
It yearned for something... No. It was angry. Just as angry as I was when I looked down at the blood stains on my hand--on the chipped blade that was yearning for more blood.
A shake snapped me out of my wandering thoughts.
"Jeez, you haven't had any sleep at all." He acknowledged in concern.
"That star..." I murmured, placing a hand over my stinging left eye.
"Guys! It's happening!" A voice echoed from the distance.
I wanted to look and see what the voice meant but the pain began to grow the more I let my thoughts wander. And the more I locked eyes with the hurt star, I was slowly unable to see anything else but a red blotch growing in the middle of my sight.
"Art!"
I turned to Attor with a raised brow. "I'm here." I replied. Confused on why he panicked. I never ran away nor disappeared. Yet on his face, it looked like he was afraid he was going to lose me at any second.
"Uh, Art. I read every message you gave me of your dreams and shared it with those I knew because, well..."
I escaped from the star's grasp to properly glare at Attor with the same anger tightening my fist. "You read them and said nothing?"
Although I couldn't see him, I could see his blurry red-lined figure, nod. "All six of your messages and the times you mentioned it in person...that's why I brought you here. Your dreams and nightmares, all of them came true."
I released a deep sigh, attempting to relax my shaky hand. "And you called me crazy. I-"
Attor rested both his hands on my shoulders. Staring at me with a seriousness I never thought I'd ever see, given his laid back attitude towards almost anything.
"Know that I don't hate you for all the times your freakiness messed with my life. Like the time I had to scoop you out of that 8 freaking foot grave or the fend off that crazy guy that chased you with a knife late at that suspicious mall." He stopped to take a breather, suddenly looking around himself as if a disaster was about to transpire. "Argh, I need more time. Just- when you feel like the world is against you. Call my name. Only when you need me the most. And I'll be there to help you."
"Attor, what the hell is this?" I asked.
"He means that you, Art, are our world's destruction."
I glanced at Attor's friends with such confusion. I was only left with the words 'what' peeping out of my mouth. Watching in fear as everyone began to take a couple of steps towards us.
Then a memory of my dream had begun to wrestle with the present scene like a glitched cutscene. The static and jolts of color struck my head with pain until the sheer pain weighed me to my knees like the heavy slams of the keys on a piano.
Eventually the trees, the grass, the sidewalk, and the night sky itself distorted into this castle-like setting with a faintly painted ceiling left exposed like a broken rib cage and the tapestry on the dirty walls torn off as if from anger.
No-- I could smell anger all over the place.
Fear and anger made up this ruined castle along with an uninviting aura coming not only from the castle but from everyone that stepped into my field of view with the red lines outlining their judging expressions.
And then I turned to my dear friend, whose face I no longer recognize as it's become more more refined. His skin now joined with faint gold scales climbing up from the collar of his fancy white and gold suit with long drapes at each side of the tailcoat. Speaking of tailcoat--
"Is that a...tail??" I stammered in surprise, gawking at Attor's scaly golden tail, the tips being white and black feathers. I turned from his fancy dress shoes to confirm my suspicion; his yellow slit eyes and black horns. "Or, you're....cosplaying?" I shook my head at the idiotic response, "...a dragon??"
It became more difficult to make out his expression and I believed he knew this as well, so he stepped forward slowly with his face now close and clear. His gold and black eyes squinting at me with a hint of firmness yet sorrow. Then he whispered close to my ear,
"Remember to call out my name if you need hel-"
Before his gold painted lips could finish, a firm grip yanked me backwards, forcing me up to my feet.