Minho looked at Jae Hyun blankly. He knew nothing about the mafia and took the least interest in learning things about them. How would he have known if Jae Hyun had a choice in his life, and what was that supposed to do with him?
Jae Hyun looked impassive, his face almost unreadable, as he stared back at Minho for an answer he didn't have. He huffed and shook his head.
"I'll take that's a no then." Jae Hyun said, a shifting in his seat. "Can't really say I'm surprised you know… this life isn't one you'd get to choose by yourself."
Minho was wary, unsure if this question was a trap or some twisted attempt at mindfuckery. Jae Hyun chuckled reading the hesitation. Maybe the boy thought it was another one of his mock torments. But what if?
"Easy boy, I'm not gonna bite your head off. Okay at least not now." He winked. "Just making conversation."
Minho looked at him, this time almost as if interested.
"You know, when I was a little boy, I wanted to become a cop," he said gruffly. "I never dreamt of becoming a mafia mastermind. All I wanted was to chase after bad guys instead of dealing them like I do."
A faint frown overwritten Minho's face at that, trying to reconcile a mental image of a little Jae Hyun with fantasies of being a police officer against the hardened reality of the vile, kidnapping, psychotic mafia sitting across from him. It just didn't make sense.
"Then what stopped you?" Minho asked sluggishly, almost as if uninterested.
"My father happened." Jae Hyun smirked. "The man programmed me my entire life to take his position after him. He made me his blunt little attack dog and groomed me to be this person you loathe,"
Minho frowned even more with empathy he hadn't realized he still had. He caught himself leaning forward almost unconsciously. Jae Hyun was implying a rough childhood. Minho hadn't heard of all the gory details, but that was enough to conclude. No wonder Jae Hyun was a raging monster with no regard for anything if that's the hand he grew up in from the beginning.
"So no, this wasn't my choice." Jae Hyun continued in an introspective tone. "At least not at first. But by the time I was old enough… well, I was already roped in too deep to walk out. The choices were made for me long before then."
He fell silent, retreating inwards like the memories were resurfacing, too painful to dredge up. Minho watched silently as a strange sense of pity loomed, despite every horror he'd seen and knew Jae Hyun was capable of.
Because at his core, Jae Hyun was still human―one who was stripped of innocence at a far too young age when he couldn't have defended himself. And much as that wasn't reason enough to defend his atrocities, it did make Minho see him as a human beneath the monster.
"Don't get me wrong though," he continued, splaying his hands over the table. "It's not like I regret my choices though. The money, the respect, the power…I'd be lying if I said I didn't like everything that's come with it. And I'm not looking for redemption."
He looked up at Minho and then held his stare, this time with far more intensity. "What I'm saying is maybe―just maybe, there's part of me that wonders why normal life is like…"
Jae Hyun's words seemed to be astounding Minho the more he talked, leaving him winded. Jae Hyun, the master of Seoul's criminal elite, actually insinuating that he didn't like the life he'd chosen? The pieces just didn't add up at this point.
"That's enough pity party." Jae Hyun choked out on realizing that he may have revealed too much about himself to someone who was supposedly his… slave? His snapped back into focus, that haunted, blank stare fading, his tough demeanour slamming right back into place.
"Now you know, don't go expecting me to tell you things like that anymore.
The curt dismissal however didn't stop Minho from getting a strange sense of affection.
But no, that couldn't be right. Something was growing in his chest beneath the dread and disgust he felt for this man. His eyes traced Jae Hyun's face, and for a second, he caught a glimpse of his pout, full lips before looking away guiltily.
Maybe it was a pity, maybe a hint of tenderness, because sure he'd been exposed to these nightmarish people, but he still had a heart. Or maybe, in some deep, primal recess of his brain, there was a hint of attraction growing towards this man who could turn anything upside down with a snap of his hands. And god help him, some twisted part of him admired that power.
Confused by the mixed feelings that were now churning inside of him, Minho quickly turned away from Jae Hyun's gaze. No matter how much he tried, he couldn't totally ignore the tension rolling up his gut.
Get a grip. He scolded himself. This is the man who has his goons watching your dad and won't even let you leave. Why are you looking at him like… like… These tingles, or whatever the hell they are might just be side effects of stress. They'll fade in a bit.
Contented with his little mental pep talk, he summoned the shreds of whatever remained of his composure and focused back on Jae Hyun, something that raised gooseflesh at the back of his neck.
Jae Hyun scrunched, watching Minho force himself to look anywhere else but directly at him, almost like he knew that the ghost caress of his hazel, honey pools boring into the boy was almost impossible to shut out.
Minho licked his lips nervously, his mouth suddenly dry, and almost jumped out of his skin when Jae Hyun reached out to wrap his hands around his waist in a deceivingly gentle grip.
"Relax, pretty. There's no need to be scared. At least not of me."
Said the man who had given him all the reasons to be scared of him.
Minho dared a glance at him, into the hungry depths of his incomprehensible stare, adrenaline, anxiety and that weird feeling that may or may have not been fascination coursing through his veins. He opened his mouth, and this time even his smart mouth couldn't put out any words. Just a raspy exhale that even himself, he couldn't begin to understand.
What was happening to him?
Minho's mind spun in loops, as he tried to make sense of the emotions that were now crushing his composure. Part of him was completely appalled by his behaviour, by the desperate way he was trying to keep his cool and trying to not fall for the antics of the very man responsible for so much torment in his life.
Jae Hyun was a monster―one to not be trifled with. There was no denying the bone-deep evil that existed deep in his core. He was a devil in human form. To feel anything remotely close to attraction towards such a person should be a complete impossibility in Minho's mind.
And yet…
Jae Hyun smiled, almost as if he knew―as if he could read the swirl of confusion eating at Minho. Using his free hand, Jae Hyun traced a finger in the boy's torso over his shirt, trailing it as Minho's lips parted involuntarily.
"See something you like, huh? Relax pretty," he mumbled, making Minho tense even more as he remained casual through it all. "Don't get all worked up just yet… we have all the time in the world for you to…adjust."
That final statement was maddening on its own, giving implications that the boy would rather not follow to whatever they meant. Jae Hyun, as if satisfied at the torment he had given Minho, pulled back.
Minho could only stare wildly at him with bare bewilderment and panic while Jae-Hyun rose to his feet and walked towards the door.
"Oh, pretty boy, come on, we gotta go."