"Hey, who was it bothering you?"
"Just the neighbor's son."
"Just the neighbor's son huh?"
"Are you jealous?"
"Me? Jealous? I'm a lot better-looking than him."
"How do you know? You only saw the back of his head."
"Well, the back of his head is ugly."
"Danny…you make me speechless."
"I hope in a good way."
* * * *
Everyone had a trigger for attraction.
Pretty eyes, hot body, height, intelligence, whatever else have you. A trigger, when pulled, will cause your heart to race and your palms to sweat. Butterflies start to appear and inappropriate thoughts begin to surface, clouding your mind, clouding your judgment and logic.
Her trigger was a smile.
When Kyunghee was twenty-one, she fell in love again. His name was Kim Hyunseung. They met during her day job at the mall. She had been a sale associate at a clothing store by day, stripper by night. Back then, she wasn't working at Playlights but somewhere else. Anyway, on that particular spring day, Hyunseung had sauntered into her shop and Kyunghee had approached him to offer help. Like a tattoo in the back of her mind, she remembered it vividly down to the last intricate details. When she gave him the usual greeting, he had responded with one of the sweetest smiles she had ever seen in her life, the kind of smile that made her heart stutter and breath to hitch in her throat.
Kim Hyunseung was not your typical Korean male lead in a drama. He didn't come from a rich family background, but neither was he dirt poor. He was just your average guy with a normal corporate job. He had fairly decent looks, leaning on the cute side; he was tall but not muscular. He wasn't the type of guy to turn heads, but he had a smile that melted her soul and riveted her heart.
For a good full minute when he smiled at her, Kyunghee had forgotten her place and her name.
To get her attention, he had waved his hand in front of her face and laughed in amusement causing Kyunghee to blush a deep shade of embarrassment. She wasn't the kind of girl to ogle at guys like she hadn't seen one in two thousand years, but on that particular day, it was what she had looked like—a spellbound teenager.
Kyunghee had apologized to him, but he brushed it off, saying it was a compliment he could affect her in such a way. She had asked him if he needed any help and he had said yes, that he was looking for something nice for his cousin's birthday. She helped him. He thanked her and left. Kyunghee thought it would be the last time she would see the boy-with-the-pretty-smile.
Two weeks later, he came back and this time he said he was getting something for his best friend's sister. She helped him, he thanked her and again, he left. He came back the following week, and the week after, and the week after that. Kyunghee started to wonder exactly how many parties did this guy go to on a weekly basis? Were there that many people he had to buy gifts for? Was his social network really vast? Did he only hang out with party animals? Or maybe there was another reason for always returning? She had hopes on the last, but she didn't ask him and did what she was supposed to do as a sale associate.
When he came back to the shop a month later, he walked straight up to the counter and asked her out. There was no running around in circles, no more clothes he needed to buy, no more excuses finally. He simply asked her out for dinner.
She had been stunned as she listened to him explain how he had lied all the previous times about getting presents for people he knew. He told her the subsequent time after his best friend's sister was all but excuses to see her again. All the things he bought after that were still sitting at home unused. She remembered him nervously shifting on his feet as he chuckled embarrassedly and waited for her answer. It was the cutest thing Kyunghee had ever seen. Although, she didn't actually tell him how she thought it was a stupid thing of him to do, spending all the money on clothes he didn't even need and going broke because of her. It sounded sweet, didn't it?
But men…before they have you, they would do anything to get you. Anything. They would move mountains and kill tigers just to get to your heart. And women, they think it was so special and different, but it was just the excitement and thrill of the game.
Kyunghee went out with Hyunseung and eventually, they became exclusive. At least she thought they were exclusive. For a moment in time, she actually thought they were going to be forever and always, but stuff like that didn't exist in reality. She had loved him and trusted him to the point of telling Hyunseung everything about her past, every single humiliating detail, and he had accepted her, or so that was what he led her to believe.
Soon, Kyunghee realized that this delirious fantasy was only a fantasy when a woman showed up in front of her door and declared she was Hyunseung's fiancée, Kan Dahye. Kyunghee thought the woman had to be lying, so she confronted Hyunseung. As it turned out, Kim Hyunseung had been the liar all along. When he first came to her shop and said he was looking for his cousin's gift, well, it was a lie. The blouse Kyunghee helped him picked out was for her, Kan Dahye. And when Dahye came to see Kyunghee, she made sure to wear it.
From the get-go, everything had been a lie.
Naturally they fought about it, and it was a nasty fight. Kyunghee didn't know what had hurt more—the fact that he lied to her from the start about having a fiancée or the fact that he used her past against her to get an upper-hand in the fight. He called her cheap; he called her a whore. He turned the tables and pointed the arrows back at her with all the intimate details she had shared with him, all the trust she had given him. He accused her of wanting to cheat him out of love and money too. After all, she used to sleep with men for money, so how could it not be possible right?
Their relationship didn't end on a good note. Perhaps there wasn't even a proper closure because like the coward that he truly was, he walked out when responsibility came knocking at his door.
In hindsight, she realized how naïve and stupid she had been. The red flags were there, but she had been blinded by the euphoric feeling of love and being loved. Then again, did Kim Hyunseung ever really loved Ahn Kyunghee? Did Ahn Kyunghee truly loved Kim Hyunseung or was it just his smile and the shadow of her past projected onto him? But one thing was for sure, he was a man not worth fighting for.
But when she decided to move on without him, the bond between them was what shattered her heart all over again….
"Hello? Hi? Soy Caramel Macchiato, is this your order, Miss?"
Kyunghee snapped out of her thoughts as the barista's face appeared in the direct line of sight.
"Sorry, yes it is," Kyunghee apologized as she accepted the warm cup of coffee from the barista at the hand-off bar.
"No worries. Enjoy your coffee, Miss," the barista announced before resuming the busy line of espresso-making.
With the cup of coffee in hand, Kyunghee targeted an empty seat by the window and made her way over to it. Settling down in the seat, her eyes landed on the view of the streets. It was a rainy morning with grey clouds and an overall gloomy expression. Stifling a yawn, she a took a sip of the fragrant latte, hoping the caffeine and sugar would wake her up.
The truth was, she didn't have a good night sleep. Halmoni's two weeks new mattress was top-notch quality, but it was her overworked brain that was the problem. Kyunghee had tossed and turned all night, trying to figure out who could possibly want to do her harm. There were so many, and yet there were none.
Even if she didn't end on good terms with Hyunseung, would he really go to the great lengths of being imprisoned? Selfish and cowardly as he was, Kyunghee doubted he had the confidence or insanity to commit a crime. His fiancée, however, was a question mark. Yet the last time they saw each other was two-and-a-half years ago. Why would those two show up out of nowhere and for no reason? They wanted to see her as much as she wanted to see them, which was over her dead body. They were probably married and living their mundane married life now.
Sighing, she reached over to the nearby magazine rack and plucked out a random women's magazine. Mindlessly, she thumbed through the pages of cosmetic advertisements, new trends in sex, relationship advice columns and fashion highlights, wanting to use it as a source of distraction from the disturbing thoughts. However, she could barely process the contents of the magazine. She closed the magazine and instead, focused on people-watching as she nursed the cup of coffee to the bottom.
As she threw away the empty coffee and headed toward the door, a father and daughter skipped into the café. They were both dressed in their raincoats. While the father was closing the umbrella, the little girl in her pink raincoat ran into the café excitedly. She was a hyper little girl and not looking where she was going, she ran straight into Kyunghee's legs.
"Ara, don't run!" Her father warned, panicky, but it was a little too late.
"Oh, sweetie, are you okay?" Kyunghee asked with concern as she squatted down to eye level with the little girl.
"Yes, Aunty!" The little girl, Ara, reassured as she nodded her head. Her hair was tied up into two pigtails. She had a pair of large brown eyes that was filled with life, a cute button nose and an adorable round face. Her cheeks were rosy, her nose was red, and her lips were a little purple. She was drenched in rainwater—though protected by her pink raincoat—but she didn't look the least bit sad. Rather, she was full of bubbly energy. She was so adorable and well-mannered. Kyunghee's heart melted. "Aunty, how come you have pink hair?" Ara seemed genuinely confused as she studied Kyunghee with profound interest.
It was so adorable Kyunghee couldn't keep the smile off her face. "Do you like it?"
"Yes, I love it! My favourite color is pink. See, look! I'm wearing pink too. Can I touch your hair, Aunty? Pretty please?" She clasped her hands together, peering up at Kyunghee with irresistible puppy-eyes.
"Sure. Why not?" Kyunghee agreed.
Ara reached out and gently touched the pink tips of Kyunghee's hair. Afterwards, she gasped and giggled happily. It made Kyunghee's heart flutter.
"Aunty, I want pink hair like yours too."
"Well, you should probably ask your dad about it and see what he thinks."
"Ara!" Their heads turned toward the voice. It was Ara's father. "Why are you bothering this Aunty?" The father looked at Kyunghee with an apologetic smile.
"Oh, no, she wasn't bothering me. I was having a nice talk with her. You have a very sweet girl."
"Thank you, but she can be quite a devil at times too." The father sighed, but it was one of those you-make-my-life-hell-but-I-still-love-you-anyway kind of sigh, the kind where only parents would know and understand.
"Appa, appa!" Ara hopped up and down in front of her father. "Can I make my hair pink like the pretty Aunty? Pretty please? Pretty pleeeease? I want pink hair. Pink is my color."
Her father quirked an eyebrow and exchanged an amused look with Kyunghee. "We'll have to see about that. Maybe when you grow a bit older then you can decide for yourself," her father finally said, causing a disappointed frown to plaster on Ara's face. Upon seeing the crestfallen expression, the father patted Ara's shoulder in gentle comforting. "Come on, Princess. Let's not bother the pretty Aunty. Why don't you say goodbye to her and we'll go buy you something good to eat?"
"Oooh, can I have chocolate today?" Ara asked with hopeful eyes.
Her father chuckled. "Yes, you can have a little bit of chocolate today."
"Yay!" Ara turned toward Kyunghee and smiled. "Bye-bye, Aunty!"
"Bye-bye." Kyunghee responded with a smile of her own. Looking up, Kyunghee caught the father's eyes and they exchanged mutual nods of acknowledgement. Then the father and daughter duo walked around Kyunghee and headed towards the cash counter to order their food.
Kyunghee was left with a mixture of feelings. She tore her eyes away from the little girl and quickly left the café.
It was still pouring outside, perhaps even harder than before. Kyunghee rushed across the streets and waited under the bus station's cover. As she waited for the bus, the little girl popped up in her head. A yearning grew in her heart and she knew no matter what she did, the hole would never stop eating her alive.
For a split second, she wished the little girl would look this way, run to her and stay beside her, just for a little while. It didn't have to be long, just until it was easier to breathe. A million different thoughts raced through her head. If only, if only…Kyunghee extended her left arm out from under the bus cover and spread her hand.
Water droplets hit her hand, slipped through her fingers, cold against the skin but…liberating.