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Chapter 14 - Chapter 14: Welcoming death

Tears streamed down little Titus's cheeks as he fell back into the cold embrace of his dead mothers arms. What good was a goddess if his fate was hell.

 

"Are you going to keep me waiting?"

 

A hand rested on Lust's perfect hips as she looked back at the pitiful child. Titus was shivering from the cold blood that he was drenched in. His heart froze from her piercing glare.

 

"N-no miss. I just don't understand what good can come from this. Am I not as good as dead to you?"

 

Lust hesitated at his words and rolled her eyes before approaching him. A thick fur coat made from a snow leopard formed out of thin air; sparkles trailing behind it as it was effortlessly carried by the goddess.

 

Warmth flowed into Titus as she wrapped the thick coat around him. With a gentle brush from the oversized sleeves of the coat, Lust cleaned off the crusted blood on little Titus's face.

 

Two large emerald eyes, full of fear and doubt peered up at the beautiful goddess.

 

"Don't look at me like that. You dare doubt me and fear the lowly men in golden armor? Oh, you have no clue about how any of this works do you?"

 

Titus shifted uncomfortably in her condescending gaze. A need for reverence in her presence was felt in that moment and he knelt before the tall demeaning figure. 

 

"That's much better darling, the view of you from here suits our dynamic just right. Listen carefully sweetie, because I am not repeating myself. Yes, you are dead to me; but that's how us higher gods like to do things. I need you to be born again to forge this covenant between us. Baptized in blood. I will create in you a new purpose, a new heart, and a new being."

 

A burning sensation crept along both of Titus's hips and a red glow emanated from under his shirt. The pain was searing but in no comparison to the one in his broken heart. 

 

"You will have the potential to become the most powerful being just under the gods. Discipline will reward you but the carnal desire for lust will be your curse. For each month that passes without you succumbing to the temptations of lust, your power will double. I will bless you with unimaginable strength in your muscles, unbreakable density within your skin and bones, keen supernatural vision, acute hearing… any and all of your bodily functions will be enhanced, stacking and multiplying by two fold with each passing month. The moment that you give in to lustful pleasure my curse will activate and your body will revert to its original state; inflicting excruciating pain from deteriorating muscle fibers, deficient bones, and shrinking your organs."

 

The beautiful goddess reached out to Titus, an insignia burning into the top part of her hand. He looked under his shirt where the burning sensation was starting to dim down.

 

An intricate black and white dragon with majestic scales and elegant heads with menacing horns protruding from them were branded on either side of his hips. The white dragon on his right and the black on his left.

 

They were identical and only differing in color. Titus's bronze olive skin created just enough contrast to highlight the features of both dragons. The same dragons were represented on the insignia of the goddesses hand.

 

"Kiss it and our covenant will be sealed."

 

Titus shook his head vigorously and pulled his head away from Lust's hand.

 

"I need a favor before I do. your majesty." I ask timidly. 

 

"W-what? Ummmm… that makes things awkward because I kinda lied to you. The covenant was already sealed with both of our brandings, the kiss was just because I wanted it. Oh alight, go on then, explain your request."

 

"I would like to be free from this trauma. I can't bear to witness it every night in my dreams. I would like to be wiped clean of this experience."

 

"Sure I can do that but brighten up a little. C'mon little guy, do you have any idea what people are willing to sacrifice for a chance to be my vessel? I am of the four main gods that wields absolute power over the universe. I do not need a vessel, I simply chose to bless you with this incredulous opportunity. Do not insult me with your sorrow, cheer up and be of good tidings."

 

"May I ask why you choose me? You don't need me, and I don't want this. Nothing you've promised came true. Nothing was made new. My heart still aches, my purpose is still missing and although you've granted me power I am still the same being I was before you showed up. A young weakling that can be stomped out by the welders who will arrive shortly."

 

"Wow. You're very intuitive for a kid. Well I can't do anything about death, I'm the wrong god for that; but I do know someone from the abyss that will take care of the inquisitors. Think of it this way, child. The only other option is death. What did your mother always teach you about avoiding death?"

 

Titus glared at her in disgust for gas lighting him with his mothers words. After a moment of contemplation he raised his hand to meet hers; but instead of reaching to kiss her hand, he flicked out his middle finger.

 

A laugh escaped the beautiful goddess as she reciprocated a finger of her own; only hers was her pinky. She wrapped her elegant finger around Titus's delicate one, creating an interesting gesture of a "pinky promise"

 

"Listen, I don't care if you waste the gift I am granting you; but for the sake of your mothers dream, make this covenant official with this gesture."

 

Titus looked down at the pendant around his neck. His mothers symbol and his fathers cherished ornament. He was too young to make such a grave decision but something in his heart told him there was divine guidance within this moment.

 

Aside from the literal divine being before him, there was always a sense of divine duty instilled in him from a young age to fill his fathers shoes. 

 

If his father had just been there, none of this would have happened. He wouldn't have to carry the burden of protecting his family and the coast as a whole. Fury and rage that had been building within the young mind of Titus began to surface. All those years being fed up with his mothers prayers and false promises of assurances only made him more frustrated.

 

He was never meant to be anyone's hero or protector, the evidence was clear in the death of the only ones he cared about. Jude Viktor, the vessel warrior that lived for the worship of gods and glory among men, was no longer his beloved father. He bore the blame of his mother and sisters death.

 

"I am not your precious vessel to be used for your glory. My father abandoned people for glory. My mother was misguided in thinking that my destiny was to replace my father as a hero protecting the coastal people from the abyssal ghouls. The real enemy that I need to protect people from are the demons above us. Promise me you will aid in toppling the peak elites through me and eventually reach my father so that I may kill him."

 

"And If I don't?"

 

" I'll die to the inquisitors. The one vessel that the great goddess of lust decided to ordain, decided death was more welcoming than serving her. How far would that rumor travel among the heavens? Or should I say hell? Demon of Lust. I know you are feared among men. Your counterpart: love, is the angel that men worship. So much for all the glamor you try to veil yourself with. "

 

"You are… very well spoken for a child with eight years of age, yet so underwhelmingly childish. You blame your father for the death of your loved ones? You claim the right to his death and threaten me with yours? Ha! What a fool to think you have a grasp on deeming someone worthy of such hatred. He is up beyond the peaks and held captive within the islands. These welders you so fear are like ants compared to the giants you must face to meet your father. Are you prepared to wait decades of your life for that promise to be granted?"

 

"Yes. Whatever it takes."

 

"Such an interesting resolve you have. Fine, I'll entertain your little tantrum. Let's find out if it was worth it."

 

***

 

As I witness the unfolding of my hidden trauma, my heart drops to the depths of my being. My soul feels like it has been ripped, shredded to torn pieces that can never be mended.

 

My father is alive? I have a desire to kill him? This war has been bestowed upon me from the very beginning, and I enlisted out of my own choice. Why did I choose to forget? What good has come from this? Gilt, shame, hopelessness, and fear overwhelms me.

 

"Please, I'm begging you. Kill me."

 

I have never felt a stronger desire, I welcome death with open arms, even chase after it. I want nothing more than to escape this moment. 

 

"I can't face anything anymore. Knowing what I am, I have no reason to fight to live. I am a cursed child, causing my mothers death, causing my father to abandon me, causing me to be bound to the most wretched demoness in existence; I have no use in this world. Please just let me die!"

 

I feel my soul return to my body again. My senses are elevated as the scene continues to play out and the pain is searing. My soul is screaming to be let free. I cling to the dark robe of death, sobbing uncontrollably.

 

"You've proven your point. I give up. Take this wrath away from me. Let my soul rest from this agony."

 

A boney hand pats my head and he pulls me in for an embrace.

 

"There there my child, that's it, there's the proof I need."

 

The scene absorbs into another crystal ball and he places it on the scales on the other side. It balances out.

 

"To truly live you must be baptized by death, accept who you are, what you did, how it all came to be. Now that you have relived your suffering, you are free to live. Be reborn my child. Walk into life with a new spirit, a new purpose, a new outlook on who you are and what you ought to become. I'm proud of you. We'll meet again at a later time, perhaps soon."

 

"No... I don't want to go back to the world of the living. Grant me death."

 

"That is very touching my child. One day you will feel the comforting relief that death brings; but now you must return to those who need you."