It was early in the morning, so the park was almost empty. There were a few joggers and a single family of early risers. Two children laughed as they played on the distant play structure, running up and down the slide. The world in the eyes of a child is fascinating. Ignoring your own ignorance leads to inexplicable comfort and joy. Most children aren't wrapped up in their thoughts so often. Maybe that's why they can be so happy and sincere with reality.
Ray rode into one corner of the park by the spot of the murder. To his surprise, he saw no police. Everything seemed suspiciously normal. He hopped off his bike and traveled towards the scene of the crime, or what he thought was the scene of the crime. It was hard to tell because it was spotless. There was no police, no yellow tape, no sign of anything.
"What?" Ray was standing in the spot where he believed to be where the first person was killed. The bloody image he had of him in his mind was nowhere to be seen, just vibrant green grass. He didn't know if he should be relieved or worried or both. He looked over where the other two ran, but nothing. Did they hide the bodies? With that inhuman strength, it wasn't impossible. "How did they clean the blood off of the grass?" Ray kneeled, looking closely at the ground. The only thing of note that he saw was a tiny worm.
He helplessly watched the worm squirm away. As he followed the worm, he spotted a small red patch in the grass, barely noticeable. He leaned in closer, plucking a tiny blade of grass from the ground. On it was a decently small red dot. Ray was starting to feel sick. He brought it to his nose. It was dried blood.
"What are you doing?"
"Ah," Ray flinched and dropped the blade. He turned to face a young girl around his age, maybe a year or two older than him, so either seventeen or eighteen.
"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I was just curious." She smiled softly.
Ray stumbled for words as he tried to make up some excuse, "Sometimes I like to appreciate the ecosystem of the park," he glanced at the worm valiantly, pushing forward, "worms are just a part of that."
The girl adjusted her long brown hair, "They do have a life to be envied."
"They do?" Ray questioned.
"They do, it's resoundingly simple."
Ray began to fall into thought, "Simplicity can be draining in its own way."
"My name is Lily. What's your name?" It was strange. In such a small town, most faces should be even a little familiar, but Lily's face was of a stranger. He doubted her face would be easy to forget either. It was uniquely mesmerizing. It was a new face in a sea of familiarity. It is more likely that they never crossed paths. She must go to Harmans, the only local private school.
"Ray, it's Ray. I haven't seen you before. Have you moved here recently?"
"You could say that." She had come from a place she never thought she'd leave.
There was a moment of awkward silence. Ray couldn't tell if they both didn't know what to say or if they both didn't know if they wanted to say anything. Ray hesitated, "Well, I'll be off, see you around."
They both met eyes for a moment, a single moment. Her eyes were green. Ray felt a lump build in his throat. 'Anyone can have green eyes, Ray. You're probably just scaring yourself.'
Lily broke eye contact to stare off at the children playing on the distant play structure, admiring their childish antics. She wished her only responsibilities were to play. She spoke in a neutral tone that Ray found oddly terrifying as she stared off into the distance. "Yes, and one more thing, forget last night, and nothing will happen."
Ray paused, "Nothing will happen?" The lump in his throat began to feel as if it had swollen so large that he was mimicking a croaking frog.
"Yes, nothing."
——
"I want everyone to pay attention to this slide. The Freedom Rides were one of the earliest demonstrations of Gandhian principles of non-violence that were displayed to further the civil rights movement. Effective protests of non-violence show how change can occur without the pointless suffering. They show how we can shape our future without bloodshed. Because what is a world shaped by murder? That's just hell." Mr. Camron let out a soft cough, "Anyways, examples of non-violence as a means of protest will come up on the next test, so pay attention."
Ray was trying to keep his eyes open, but it was hard to focus on staying conscious when you were sitting for the past hour, especially when you lost sleep over a not-so-subtle threat. It was a dreary Monday. The birds swarmed outside of the school grounds, plotting their next descent. They arrogantly squawked and mocked Ray. They had so much freedom in the sky.
Ray's notes were a collection of scribbles and random sentences. If his teacher saw, he would probably reprimanded again. It's not like he got called out frequently for his absentmindedness. He wasn't that far to the left of the bell curve. Ray was in the exact middle of the pact, with average grades, little trouble, and little friends. Ray was impassive to school. It was just more work, a place to spend his otherwise unspent time. He would prefer to be doing something else, though, something more exciting.
Ray read somewhere that during a study of eighty-one high school valedictorians, where the experimenters followed the subjects for years after their high school graduation, the valedictorians did not end up at the top echelons of society.
They had great jobs and were well-adjusted after high school, but most were not extremely accomplished outside of high school. None would go on to change the world. They weren't the stand-out successes you would expect them to be. When asked about their success in school, they attribute it to the fact that they had only gotten used to the system they were acquainted with. When asked how smart they were and how their smarts contributed to their grades, most said they weren't that intelligent. They just worked the hardest.
They gave what they thought the teacher wanted, not because they were passionate, but because they wanted a good grade. Because they played by the system well, they were adequately awarded. School rewards the most diligent and willing to follow the procedure set into place, using grades as a carrot on a stick for the high-achieving.
Ray wasn't against getting good grades. He had the time to put in the work. For some reason, he didn't have that diligence; he didn't want it, and so he was doomed to be average, for better or for worse. He still wanted some excellence; however, maybe his greed for greatness only existed in his dreams and had no stake in reality. After all, you can desperately want to be someone great without knowing who that is, how to get there, or even why.
You're just an empty shell that is promised greatness as some mysterious cure-all substance, and if you drink it in all its mysterious glory, you, too, will find fulfillment. How much of that liquid is poison? Ray wanted a sip.
The teacher turned off the projector. There was a certain point in time, right before lunch, when he lost almost every student's attention. That was about five minutes ago, "Okay, enjoy your lunch, everyone. If you have any questions, ask me before lunch ends or during my free period."
When Ray found himself in the cafeteria, it was nauseatingly loud. Teens rushed past him as if they were unaware of his presence. It was funny how the more people you stuffed into a room, the more invisible each random person became to the others.
Lunch was teriyaki chicken that was palatable enough to eat but not to enjoy. The lunch lady looked bored as she filled his plate with teriyaki chicken and lumped vegetables on the side. "Put in your pin," she said. Ray used the keypad to input his lunch pin and went to sit down for lunch, wondering if the teriyaki would taste any different on the third day in a row.
Since he was early, he got to the table as it was empty. No one would sit there even if he were late. It was a silent tradition. People always sat in the same place unless they were excluded from the table, which happened every now and again after interpersonal drama. Finding a table isn't hard when you have known your classmates for years. You stick with normalcy, what you're used to.
Ray saw Aki come over with a stunning white-toothed smile. He waved at Ray, and Ray smiled back. Ray had known Aki his whole life since he was two. He was the only person Ray saw outside of school. Everyone else he was just a friendly or not-so-friendly acquaintance of.
Aki always had good looks. He was a born charmer. When he was four, he got a free lunch at a now-closed diner for being too adorable not to give a free meal. He led the elementary school play and somehow got parents besides his own to cry at his performance. In middle school, he probably rejected a dozen girls.
Ray was fascinated with how someone so starkly different from him was his best friend, but he didn't question it too much. Too much questioning leads to doubts that he'd rather not have.
"Where have you been? I called you yesterday, but you didn't pick up." Aki inspected a spoonful of teriyaki and reluctantly took a small bite.
Ray awkwardly smiled, "Oh, I wasn't feeling well. Sorry about that. I saw the missed call this morning."
"Hey, Aki!" Aki's friends had made it to the table.
The person who called Aki's name was Sophia. Her father was one of the wealthiest men in this town; they had moved from the city for a simpler life a few years ago. "Hey, Ray," Ray couldn't help but notice the difference in enthusiasm when she called his name, "Hey, Sophia."
Grant, Roy, Ember, Sally, and two other names that Ray had trouble remembering, that was the ensemble of their table, on top of Aki, Sophia, and Ray himself. Ray employed his practiced maneuver, silently eating and sometimes throwing in a word or sentence.
He was engaged enough not to appear like he was isolated from the group but was never actually attached to the group in any meaningful way. He had never been great in a group setting. He's tried talking to people at this table individually, but that never worked out.
A few people at the table had opted to bring their own lunch. It was the right choice. Ray grimaced as he ate the teriyaki. It may have somehow gotten worse.
"If only summer came sooner," Grant complained,
"I know, it feels so close, but it's not." Someone agreed. Ray wasn't paying attention to who. He was thinking about his conversation with Lily at the park and what would happen to him if he didn't listen to what she said.
"Did you hear about Xander and how he got expelled? That should have never happened."
Sophia brought up a piece of information about her friend Xander.
"I heard he beat up some cocky private school kid. Someone recorded the whole thing." Ember giggled to herself as she brought out their phone to show everyone. Ray fell out of the realm of thought and began to focus on the video.
The video began to play. There was some inaudible yelling. "What the hell, you can't even see what's happening. The camera is just pointing at the floor." Ember grimaced.
"You can still hear the yelling." Loud wails of hatred were pouring out of the phone's speakers. It was hard to tell exactly what was being said, but a few words were obvious. Xander had said: "Want your face to be caved in, asshole?" Some of his friends were also cheering him on, and the kid being beaten up sounded like he was alone.
"When he's acting like that, is it not surprising that he got expelled?" Ray said as he couldn't help but feel he was witnessing one of the dumbest fights imaginable, a senseless one.
"They probably provoked him. I would say a lot of his anger is warranted." Sophia spoke to Ray, something that hadn't happened for the past fifteen minutes.
"Even if one person provoked him, when is it ever reasonable to beat them up in response," Ray retorted.
Sophia's gaze tightened around Ray's head, threatening to pop it, "I know Xander, you don't. The private school kid deserved it."
"Whatever happened, there never needed to be any fighting, even if Xander was provoked." Aki broke the tension, and suddenly Sophia seemed to be more comfortable with the ideas presented by Ray, "Fighting was probably a little too far, but I don't think it should mean an expulsion. The other guy egged him on."
"Let's drop this," Sophia said, upset as she neatly ate her sushi.
"My parents will be out of town for a few days. I was thinking of throwing a party, does everyone want to come? It'll be a crazy one. I am thinking of inviting more people this time." Sophia looked around the table to gauge everyone's reactions. Her gaze stopped on Aki, who was calmly eating his food.
"Yeah, I'll definitely go," Grant said. The others all agreed with Grant's sentiment, besides Aki, who was eating, and Ray, who was uncomfortable after the confrontation with Sophia. He held an inkling that his image was being warped further and further into something to hate in Sophia's mind.
Aki acknowledged Sophia's gaze and smiled that charming smile, "Sure,"
She beamed, "Great."
Aki looked at Ray, "Ray, you want to come." Aki felt bad for his friend. He knew that Ray never melded well with his friends, but he always sat with them to sit with him.
Ray didn't want to go. "Sure, I'll go."