Breathe in and breathe out. Ground yourself. In reality, there will be many things that are outside of your control. Life will spiral around you. The only thing you have power over is your reaction; the events unfold at life's whim, but your response to these events is always up to you, and there is power in that.
Filled to the brim, the liquid squirms within, threatening to pour out with each violent shake and clumsy step. The liquid lightly pulses at the sound of music, which is so strong it imbues itself with the liquid to form tiny quakes. Shaking the lonely ocean of pungent alcohol, sensations surround it in a cacophony of noise and dialogue. This was the life of a drink at a party.
Ray took a deep breath. He let oxygen seep into his lungs. A diaphragmatic breath is supposed to help with anxiety. Sophia's house was big, unreasonably big. Ray gave up counting the attendees after the thirtieth. The scent of alcohol stung his nostrils. He tried looking for Aki, but he was nowhere in sight. The party was overwhelming; voices flew in from all directions, and the smell of alcohol was strong. It didn't help that the threats of
Ray didn't like alcohol. It made him sick, literally. He knows because, as a kid, he got into some Christmas eggnog during a family gathering that Christmas Eve. He did not have a jolly night. His mom held an aversion to alcohol, and that gene must have been passed down. It's like having Lactose Intolerance, but instead, you replace Lactose with alcohol. He didn't mind, though. He never was that fond of alcohol. After thousands of years of drinking, humans have really gotten used to the idea. He used to wonder that if he didn't have his intolerance and was more social, he would also have cozied up to alcohol.
"You only live once," Ray joked as he sipped water. It tasted weird. He made a face and threw the plastic cup away in the trash. Ray was in the living room corner, connected to an open kitchen. The house was of contemporary design, with simple, expensive decorations and a sleek exterior. There was a study and a private library. The house was probably more than twice the size of his own home, not including the backyard with a pool, of course. The living room was crowded, but it was way more congested near the pool, where most of the noise was being made.
"Want a drink," a familiar voice approached Ray, a voice he had heard somewhere but couldn't put his name on it. Ray, at first, assumed they were talking to someone else. Why would a floating, bodiless voice be referring to him?
"Ray, right?" Nope, they were definitely talking to him.
Ray quickly found the source of the voice, a girl he recognized from his Chemistry class. "Yeah, that's me."
The girl pushed forward a red cup, "Drink?"
"No thanks." Ray didn't feel like feeling horrible. He and everyone else were underage, which didn't affect any of the attitudes of most of the people around him; they still drank. That didn't mean he had to want to, though.
"Suit yourself," she took a sip of beer, "I didn't expect to see you here. You're always quiet in and out of class."
"You talk like being quiet is a bad thing," Ray tried to brainstorm reasons for this girl from class. Ria, he thinks that's their name, would talk to him. She had never spoken to him before.
"It can be," Ria said.
"Why don't you come to the pool? It's fun out there." Ria nodded in the direction of the pool.
"I'm not dressed for it," Ray had no swimwear on him.
She grabbed Ray's hand, tugging him along, "Come on." Suddenly, Ray was making his way to the pool. He wanted to see the backyard before he left anyway, but maybe not this forcefully.
"Hey, could you let go?" She was practically dragging him. He didn't want to go through the trouble of ripping his arm away quite yet, but at any moment, he might.
"Yeah, when you get to the pool." Ria seemed determined to take him somewhere to enhance the party, so to speak.
And then he was there. They filtered through a wall of bodies and stood beside the pool. Ray removed her grip, a little annoyed.
"What now?" Ray glanced around. It was crowded.
"Hey!" Someone yelled in Ray's direction, no, they were yelling at him. It was a broad-shouldered guy that Ray saw occasionally around the school. He didn't have any classes with him. He was muscle-loaded, he looked a little creatine-hungry.
"Uhm, me?" Ray was confused.
"Yeah, what were you doing with my girlfriend?" The meaty teen was approaching Ray. His yelling had caught some attention.
"Your girlfriend? Oh, her, I barely know her." Ray had a good idea who his girlfriend was. He did not have a good idea of the situation playing out right now. This guy wasn't crazy enough to do something right; he looked like it but wouldn't do anything.
The seemingly offended person's face was flush. He was drunk. The cool air stuck to Ray's skin, leaving him cold.
He looked around. His girlfriend was nowhere to be found. She had disappeared. Before Ray could say or do anything, he was looking at the stars. An electrifying shock went through his chest, and he was looking directly at the ever-expansive universe. After space came water. It was freezing, and it drenched his clothes. It was like he was floating a vat of liquid, and all he could experience was the feeling of liquid on his skin. Sounds become muffled. At first, he couldn't believe it, but then he struggled to breathe. He couldn't breathe, his head was underwater, and he was shoved into the pool.
Ray surfaced a second later, his hair stuck to his head and his clothes stuck to his body. He slowly got out of the pool, breathing heavily. It was much colder out of the water, and he looked up to see the person who had shoved him was grinning. Behind him, he saw Sophia, whose smile was much larger. Ray wanted to silence those smiles. "Could you be any more petty?" Ray screamed loud enough so Sophia could hear, and her smile widened. After that, he was quiet. She wanted him to lash out. Some laughed at the scene before them, some felt bad, others amused. Either way, they didn't help him. They didn't want to insert themselves into someone else's drama.
Ray painstakingly waddled back into the house. He watched as the water on him got all over Sophia's home. He was leaving.
People moved out of the way for his wet body, then continued to party, "I really need a change of clothes," He shivered as he walked towards the wonderful exit.
Before he could exit the door, someone came up from behind Ray, "What is it?" Ray didn't really want to talk.
"You can have my clothes, Ray," It was Aki, "I was going to go to the pool, so I have a change of clothes."
Aki scratched his head, "Sorry I couldn't help you. It happened really fast." Aki had a look of legitimate concern: it was knotted between his eyebrows.
"Thanks," Ray took Aki's offer.
"And I know Sophia," Aki looked back at the pool.
"I don't want to talk about her right now."
"Okay, need a ride home?" Ray shook his head, "No, you enjoyed the party. I'll call my mom." Ray quickly changed, said goodbye to his friend, and left the party with a sour expression. This was the last time he was attending one of Sophia's parties. "I don't think that could've gone worse." He grimaced. That's not true. He got a change of clothes after all. He called his mom as he waited outside the large home.
Ray sat on the front steps leading up to the home. The pitter-patter of tiny feet caught his attention. He looked down, and a pair of feline eyes popped up in the night.
"Does Sophia have a cat?" If so, it was probably vain and miserable.
The cat jumped up one step, then another, slowly nearing Ray, who was sitting still. The closer it got, the more details were visible to Ray; it had one eye, the other eye was scar-stricken, and its fur was a dull gray. When it reached him, Ray sighed as he saw its swaying tail and reached out to pet the cat. At least something nice would happen tonight. Ray was quite fond of cats. "Even if you're Sophia's cat, you're still beautiful."
Before he could pet it, however, the wild animal lunged at his arm and took a quick swipe with their paw. Ray jumped back in the second surprise of the night, "What the hell!" He had been scratched in the arm by a wild cat. It mischievously jumped away as if scratching Ray had been its plan all along. Then it ran away, leaving a bewildered and broken Ray to watch.
"You can't be serious," Ray's wound stung.
The car ride back home was an interrogation from his mother. She looked at Ray as if he committed a murder. "What happened? Why did it happen? Who do I have to kill?"
"Mom…"
"Yes…" she waited patiently for a name.
Ray tried to loosen up slightly, "It was dumb. You don't have to kill anyone."
"I don't?"
"No," Ray looked out the car window at the greenery, "You don't."
She grinned, "That's great."
She looked in the rear-view mirror at her son's soaked hair, and her smile faded, "I knew you shouldn't have gone to that party. Teens and alcohol is an idiotic combination. The only reason I was okay with it, why any of the parents were, is because that's what we did as kids, not that it made it smart. Not to mention, you didn't really know anyone well besides Aki. He's better than them, though. I don't know why he entertains their antics."
"He's just having a social life, unlike me." Now was the perfect time to give himself a couple of gut punches while he was already senselessly beaten so heavily.
His mother shook her head. She hated it when he would beat himself up. It placed a burning sensation in her stomach. It reminded her what her husband used to be like, "You are just much more selective. You're different from the people around you, and so is Aki. He just happens to shape himself into the mold a little easier than you. You know your uncle Mark didn't have many friends until college. That's when his world opened up."
Their car was alone on the road, emboldened by the darkness; it sped forward. Ray desperately fought back the urge to laugh at himself, "So after living in the same small town for my whole life, I have one friend, who I was friends with since I was two, and we don't even hang out as much anymore. I am socially isolated and can't maintain friendships. I am a nobody mom, and I have to wait until college for a shot at change."
"Ray…you could always offer to hang out with Aki more. You're the one drifting away. You're spending more and more time in your room. I was surprised you even went to the party. I was excited for you." Ray was guilt-stricken. He only went to the party to maintain his own social delusion. "You can hold conversations, you're not bad in social situations, you just never pursue relationships. Do you need help? I am here for you, honey. Anything, just tell me, please." His mother's voice was shaky.
"I…I'm fine, Mom." Ray didn't feel fine.
"You'll find your way, Ray, if not in this town, somewhere else. I just hope you find it within yourself." The collar of Ray's shirt was dotted with tears. He wiped his eyes clean.