The morning of the exam arrived like a shadow, creeping in and keeping the keeping the tension high. Jane stood before her mirror, the reflection staring back at her as if it was someone else entirely. She tugged at the sleeves of her uniform, trying to calm the nerves that twisted in her stomach. It wasn't just the exam that made her uneasy; It was everything else-the weight of her grief, the guilt that she clung to her like a second skin. Everytime she taught she might finally breath freely, there it was again, hanging over her like a dark cloud.
She glanced at the clock. Thirty minutes before she had to live for school. Normally she will be rushing through her morning routine, eager to get to school, but today felt different. The thought of the exam didn't scare her in a usual way; it was more like life had a way of testing someone when one least expect it. She wondered if she could even focus on the questions, with so much going on inside her head.
The incident has taken her parents, leaving her with a hole in her heart that no amount of reading could fill. Still, school had become her escape even if only for a few hours. She grabbed her bag, shouldered it with a resigned smile and stepped out of the door. The cool morning air hit her face, a brief but welcome distraction from the turmoil swelling in her chest.
At school, everything seemed like it was happening in slow motion. Her friend's gathered in small groups, chatting nervously about the exam, but Jane couldn't focus on her words she was too preoccupied by her own thoughts-thought of her parents, the accident, the boy or rather man who had saved her leaving behind her parents. She could still hear her mother's voice as clear as though she was still standing next to her, telling her to brave, to move forward.
Inside the classroom, the atmosphere was filled with tension. The air felt to.. heavy, the ticking of the clock felt louder than usual as Jane took her seat. She looked around at her classmates, all of them busy with their own worries, although Jane's friend's came to her but after a short while, they left for further preparations of the exam. But Jane knew that her fear wasn't just about the exams. It was about the future, about the possibility that no matter how well she did, it wouldn't change the past.
As the teacher handed out the papers. Jane took a different and glance at the first question. She felt the familiar rush of panic. What if she couldn't focus? What if she failed? But then she remembered what she has been trying to tell herself everyday. This wasn't just an exam of knowledge, it is a test of endurance, of strength, just like everything else in her life. It is a challenge that has to be faced head-on. The first few questions passed in a blurr.., but slowly, as she concentrated, Jane found herself settling into the rhythm. While in the hall other students were all pens up making sure they scribe something on their answer sheets, a learner in the second grade was caught with a short note under his answer booklet, he tried to throw allegations on other students sitting close to him saying that the paper isn't his and the handwriting also. The principal took further investigations into the issue and it was found that he was the one. The second grader was taken out of the hall and mercilessly dealt with...
The words began to make sense. The calculations, one's daunting, now seemed straightforward. It was like the noise inside her head became quiet, the grief she constantly carried in her chest momentarily fading into the background. For the first time in what felt like ages, she could just focus on the present, on the exam in front of her. The clock ticked on, and with each passing minutes. Jane found herself slipping into a strange calm, the paper no longer felt like a barrier between her and her future. It was just a part of the journey. Maybe, she thought, she could do this, she could move forward, not just in her academic life but in her social and personal life too..
By the time the bell rang, signaling the end of the exams, Jane's heart was still racing she didn't know how well she would do, but for the first time in a long time she felt ignorant or rather nonchalant. The exam is just one part of a journey, and she made it through. She stood up, streched and gathered her things. Feeling a small sense of pride. The weight of today's challenges hasn't crushed her. She faced them one question at a time, just as she had to face her grief, her guilt and uncertainty of the future.
As she walked out of the classroom, her friends surrounded her, all discussing the exams in hushed tones. But Jane was quiet. She wasn't thinking about the questions or the answers. Instead she was thinking about what will come next. During there conversations Jane was called to the council room. " Have a sit Mrs Jane" as i turned and approached my seat. " There have been a few reports coming from different people and even the teachers concerning your sudden behavior for the past few days, it of knowledge that you just moaned your parents few months ago, and I know that it may still have an effect on you and your brother and I also sympathise with you. But if this character continues you will slack back from your academic work, which is not good as a senior year student". A while passed as I sat reading the lips of the councilor as i couldn't seem to focus on what she had been saying but at the end the response, " yes, okay ma I will put in my best, Thank You." and took my leave. The exam had tested her, yes, but it has also showed her something else - that no matter how heavy life feels there is always a way to move forward. Even if it's just one step at a time.