Miracles POV.
The jolting of the bus brought me out of my head into the reality that is my life. I took yet another deep breath, it seems to be the only thing that keep me sane.
Everyone stood up, I had no idea why. I looked out the window and it was like a deserted desert with the exception of a single building in the middle of nowhere.
A soft moan made me turn around to look at the boy beside me - Hardy.
"You coming?" He asked me when I blinked in confusion, he explained. "We are getting an earlier supper here and maybe a little break. We've been traveling for a very long time, darlin"
I looked away and he nodded and picked up a backpack. "I guess not. I will get you an energy bar"
I didn't say a word to him.
I waited until Hardy and the rest of the occupant of the bus alighted before I stood up and made my way down.
I clutched the bag my brother packed for me. I wasn't hungry.
All I wanted to do was find a corner and scream as loudly as I can until the heaviness in my chest subsides.
I wanted to scream so I wouldn't be swallowed whole by grief and sadness…so, I could breathe again.
At this point, I reckon I would do anything to lift this weight in my chest.
I found a small path behind the desert cafeteria. It led to a path deeper into the woods. I might have no wolf but I was a wolf nevertheless and nature was our natural habitat.
I found a little spot just on a little hill and I sat down there. The height and the vast valley made me small and it made my problem small too but oddly all I thought about was Stevie.
I thought about when my happily ever after started to go wrong just a little bit.
****
(Two years ago)
For weeks, Steve and I dated, he was the perfect gentle guy with everything I wanted and everything I needed.
I thought if there was heaven it would be something resembling this. We didn't go beyond a few kisses and a grab here and there.
The kisses were mind-blowing and nice but his grabs got more and more uncomfortable.
I didn't mind. Every book said it took time for our bodies to get acquainted with one another and we had the rest of our lives to figure it out.
Few weeks later, he told me he was returning to school in Oswald and it was goodbye forever except I came with him…move in with him.
"I can't bear life without you, sweetness. Come with me, move in with me. You are my life, Miracle"
"What about my family?" I asked him. I just finished highschool but I still stayed at home, college was just around the corner.
"I will be your family, love. You and me against the world. Say you will come with me because the thought of losing you is driving me insane"
I looked at him…at his bright blue eyes, it was the first time I realized that there was absolutely nothing I wouldn't do for him…absolutely nothing!
And so, I did.
I did everything I had to do to make his wish come true…I said things, things I can't take back…I burnt bridges too.
Life in Cape City of Oswald was endearing.
He was what I wanted and I had him, everything was smooth sailing…we took things slow, I wasn't ready for sex and he respected my wishes.
Everything was bright and rosy until they stopped. At first it was the little thing, like my name…he started calling me Ira, started introducing me to his friends as Ira.
He said Miracle was a mouthful.
It was just a shortened version of my name, I said…it's still a beautiful name, it wasn't enough reason to blow up what we've worked so hard to build ....so I became Ira.
Then came the night of his birthday party when a girl taller than both of us showed up and for the first time my eloquent Steve was tongue tied.
"Lisa" he had whispered.
I thought nothing of it. He was generally nice to people and he went out of his way to be kind.
"Steve Jackson, in flesh" she had said.
He stared at her like one would stare at a ghost.
"You are here. When?" He asked.
"A few months ago today. London is a beautiful city but I had to come home, it was time," Lisa said before she pulled her companion closer to herself. "This is my fiance, Jared. Jared, this is Steven Jackson, my childhood friend from highschool"
"Fiance?" Stevie had said.
In retrospect I should have figured out that his reaction wasn't normal but he was Steve Jackson, I didn't think any other girl mattered to him.
He turned to me and pulled me closer to himself. Possessiveness was always a huge turn on…just like the dark romance book I love reading.
"This is my girl, Ira" he introduced but before I could say it was nice to meet you he pulled me into his arms and kissed me right in front of them.
I was over the moon. I decided there and then that it was time. I was going to give him my innocence as soon as we got home.
But he grabbed my hand and pulled me to follow him.
He led me to the back of his car.
I had a feeling what he wanted but the mere idea that cool and collected Stevie was going crazy with need for me made it oddly sexy.
But it was my first time nevertheless.
Stevie tugged at the fastenings of my jeans and pushed them down over my hips and off one leg. I saw a section of sky from beneath the car's roof.
It was a misty night with no stars or moon.
The only light came from the distant glow of a street lamp at the eastern corner of the parking lot.
He was experienced and I was not and for a while I passively let him take the lead, he was just fooling around, he wasn't actually going to make love to me for the very first time in a parking lot.
I had no idea where to put my hands. I felt him reach beneath my panties, where the center was warm, smooth and flattened. He rubbed me there a few times… roughly for some reason.
His grabs were more rougher than usual like he was out of his mind with need or simply put out of his mind.
"Stevie?" I called out, panic lining the inside of my throat.