And so, that morning I found myself again with Ema.
She was very happy to see me again after my time in the hospital.
Her eyes were shining like stars.
I can't deny that i was happy to see her so cheerful.
Her smile was very contagious that morning.
The fact that she had taken a day off from school to come visit me had really pleased me.
"Sweetheart, how are you feeling?" Ema then asked, with a loving smile on her face."
Ema was genuinely worrying about me, or at least that's what I perceived.
"Everything's fine, everything's fine. I'm feeling much better now, my body feels brand new!" I replied energetically.
Ema smiled widely.
"That's wonderful! I'm really happy!" She said, hugging me again.
I returned her embrace and chuckled affectionately.
I was perfectly aware that our relationship was about to be put to the test after everything that had happened, but at the same time, I wanted to enjoy the moments with her.
"Maybe I'm wrong not to talk to her about it...?" I thought.
Perhaps I should have to keep her informed, but maybe that would ruin everything.
It wasn't a good thing to hide such a thing from her, but it was for our own good.
I avoided having expectations or hopes, so I could live in the moment.
After our hug, Ema took my arm and said, "What do you say we go to the sushi restaurant near the school? I heard it's really good."
After this request, Ema flashed a very wide smile as she squeezed my arm, as if trying to convince me.
"Ema... you don't mean that place where we went for our first date, do you?" I asked, surprised.
Ema didn't say anything, she just smiled at me, as if to say "Don't spoil the moment."
At that moment, I understood what she wanted to do.
"So? Are we going? Come on~!" She said after a few seconds of silence. I let out a small sigh and, smiling, nodded.
"Of course, Ema," I said. "Yay~!" She replied, taking my arm.
We both walked for a while.
Ema was very happy to be with me, and her grip around my arm was very strong.
But it wasn't like the other times when it seemed like she didn't want me to get away, but rather because she was very happy to see me again.
We decided to walk instead of taking a taxi, as we wanted to enjoy some time together.
Ema seemed like a completely different person, so much so that she had become cheerful, happy, and carefree.
It felt like taking a trip down memory lane, and my soul was elated.
At the same time, however, I knew perfectly well that I had to control my emotions without letting myself go, to understand what she wanted to do and what her intentions were.
I was happy that her behavior was very natural, but I couldn't let my guard down. So, I tried to be as least lovey-dovey as possible.
After 10 minutes of walking, Ema stopped and let go of my arm.
I was a bit surprised. She walked a few more steps and then turned towards me.
She smiled, closing her eyes and pointing to something on her left. I turned to see what she was pointing at and saw a swing.
At first, I didn't immediately understand what it was, but after a few seconds of silence, I remembered.
This was the swing where we, as children, decided we would get married in the future.
Ema was pointing at it with a happy childlike expression.
"Do you remember that swing?" she asked, lowering her gaze and her arm.
I nodded.
"How could I forget it?" I asked, letting out a happy sigh and chuckling.
"Good... Now it's my turn to ask you." Ema replied, clearing her throat.
"Ahem~ Fumihiro. Will you marry me?" She blushed and knelt down.
My eyes widened.
I was very surprised by her gesture, not understanding why she did it.
This was completely unexpected.
I don't hide that I was very flattered and happy with her proposal. She remembered such a cute thing.
"Ahahahah--" I chuckled lovingly.
"Wasn't it already planned?" I asked.
Ema looked up at me, with a slight pout of disappointment on her face.
She was very cute.
"Mm... You know perfectly well how to ruin every romantic moment...~" Ema replied with a bored sigh.
She laughed too and stood up, taking my arm again.
"Okay, now let's go!!" she said with a very cheerful tone. "Hahaha... Okay!" I replied.
We continued to walk through those streets we had walked thousands of times before.
The place was always the same but the atmosphere was different.
It felt like Ema and I had become children again. It would have been a perfect date if it hadn't happened only after everything that had happened between us.
It was as if Ema had done all this to apologize.
I still wanted to believe that there was no ulterior motive and that she did it just because she wanted to and not because she was sorry.
I had to stay firm and not be blinded by these cute gestures, even though I appreciated them. Ema laughed happily as we were together.
During the walk, we talked about our dreams, our past, and future plans.
Ema was really fantasizing a lot, and her voice was full of hope.
I could understand that she was completely sure that I would remain in her future. If this pleasant event had happened a few weeks ago, I would probably have fantasized with her even more intensely.
But at that moment, despite trying to share everything with her, I couldn't.
Or rather, I was doing it, but not like her.
I just nodded and put forth a few ideas, without really exerting myself.
Ema was too engrossed in her speeches to notice my "coldness".
She was even talking about the children she wanted to have, their names...
She wanted to name a child "Kaze", whether it was a boy or a girl.
Or even "Yume", "Hikari", "Alex"... So many names.
These discussions made me happy and also made me a little anxious. I have always been a dreamer but not to this extent.
A part of me wanted to tell Ema how happy I was to see her smile again, while the other part was trying to maintain balance according to logic.
We continued to walk for a while and finally arrived at the sushi restaurant.
Here is where we had our first real date, as teenagers. At the sight, I was happy but not overly so. I expected it.
"Oh... Ema... This is where we had our first date, right?" I asked. Ema nodded quickly and repeatedly, as if she were overwhelmed with excitement.
"Yes yes yes yes yes yes!" She said, with an energetic and cheerful tone. She was very happy.
My lips curved into a slight and loving smile. Ema's enthusiasm warmed my heart, but at the same time, I always tried to be very attentive to details.
"Wow... you remember everything, don't you? Ahaha~" I asked, chuckling affectionately.
"How could I forget the place of our first date? It's one of the most iconic places in our lives!" She replied, squeezing my hand tightly.
I gave Ema a sweet smile, and we both looked at the entrance for a few minutes, reminiscing about all the good times we had spent there. Then, we entered and were greeted by the waiter working there.
"Hayashi... Ema... Right?" He asked, looking at his notepad.
"Yes! That's me. I booked a table for two yesterday," Ema replied.
"Okay... yes! Here you are! Your table is over there, at the far right, just as you asked," the waiter replied, pointing to the table.
Ema had even chosen the same spot where we sat the first time.
It was the table close to the window, the only wooden table they had.
It was still there, intact.
I remember that Ema and I carved our initials there with a knife.
We sat down, and Ema started talking to me again, fantasizing.
She nuzzled into my shoulder, rubbing her head against my chest.
She always did that when she wanted affection.
There were other people around us, but she didn't care about anything.
It was a bit embarrassing.
"E-Ema... Everyone is watching us..." I said, embarrassed.
"And I don't care... Hehehe~" Ema replied, still on me.
I sighed.
"Come on, Ema! There will be plenty of time for cuddles later. It doesn't seem like the place now," I said, looking around.
I realized I hadn't returned her hug. Usually, I would have stroked her head without caring, but... that time I felt too embarrassed to do it.
Ema let go of me and looked at me again with that disappointed pout.
"You're so boring... Pff~" she said, turning her head away and crossing her arms.
"Ahahahaha... sorry..." I replied, scratching my head.
After a few seconds, Ema lifted the tablecloth from that table, and we both noticed that our initials were still carved on it.
Ema's eyes began to sparkle with love and happiness, and she started giggling.
Then she looked at me smiling and said, "Did you see it? It's still here!"
"Wow... I didn't expect that..." I said. My tone was a mix of surprise, happiness, and at the same time, a hint of sadness.
Shortly after, the waiter arrived to ask what we wanted to eat.
Ema and I always ordered the same thing: simple sashimi, hosomaki, and a bowl of ramen.
Lunch at that restaurant was delicious, and time passed very quickly.
I felt myself reconnecting with Ema, as if she had returned, but I knew perfectly well that I had to use logic and observe how she behaved.
An important detail is that Ema sought a lot of physical contact, as if she were dependent on it.
She used every opportunity to touch me. A natural thing for a couple, or at least it should be.
After finishing eating, I got up to pay, but Ema stopped me, saying it was already paid for.
"Eh? Really? Why did you pay?" I asked, surprised.
"W-Well... I wanted to give you a welcome back gift," she said, blushing and touching her fingertips. "And also to apologize for making you feel bad... I'm really sorry..." she added, looking down and getting up from her chair.
At that moment, an immense feeling of tenderness invaded my heart, and I felt the need to hug her, so I did.
I hugged her, and I felt her body tense.
She didn't expect it.
After a few seconds, she returned the hug and hugged me tightly.
Then, after this moment of tenderness, my rational side returned, and I broke the hug.
We walked to the exit of the restaurant and found ourselves again on the sidewalk.
"So... where do we go now?" I asked, scratching my head.
"A-Ah... I-I have a free house, you know... Eheh~" she said with a soft whisper.
"I already know how it will end... We'll do it, and I'll forget everything she's done... But I'll avoid it this time," I thought.
"Ema... I think my body isn't ready for that yet... I'm still a bit weak because of the medication," I replied, trying to avoid eye contact with her.
Ema was silent for a few seconds and looked down. I saw her hands tighten for a moment and then return to normal. She then looked up at me and forced a smile.
"Okay, Fumi. So, how about we go to your place? Your mother is waiting for you," she said.
I nodded. "Sure, let's go! I can't wait to see her," I said with a tone as joyful as it was fake.
I offered her my hand, and she took it immediately.
We walked hand in hand all the time, as we always did.
But there was something different in the air.
In my heart, I still loved Ema with all my heart, but I was behaving more rationally to understand if she really meant the things she said to me at her house.
We arrived about halfway, and at that moment, in front of the same café where I saw Chiko interact with Kanna, we met none other than Kazuha.
She looked at us with a cold, distant gaze, with a hint of disappointment. She was still dressed in her red work uniform, and she was eating a donut.
At the sight of her, I felt Ema's hand tremble in mine.
"Oh... This won't end well," I thought, preparing for the worst. It would also be a perfect opportunity to see how Ema would behave.
Unexpectedly, Ema let go of my hand and approached Kazuha, who was looking at her with a slightly intimidated expression.
The way she approached Kazuha seemed like someone who wanted to do something to her. Realizing the situation, I walked to stop her but, unexpectedly:
"I-I'm sorry, Kazuha-Chan!" Ema said, bowing her head towards her.
Both Kazuha and I were very surprised by Ema's gesture.
"What is happening here...?" I thought.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Kazuha's Journal~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And here i am.
I hate this life, i hate my work, i hate everything around me.
I won't be able to resist further if this goes on.
I have no friends, i'm so alone.
I'm so tired of faking my smiles...
Living the life as a spectator is not good.
Nobody even knows my name.
But today i saw him again.
Fumihiro... Aoyama...
I thought that he was totally gone from my life.
He... also remembered a little piece of me.
Without even noticing, i behaved like a little girl when he spoke to me.
I didn't expect that... I didn't expect this behavior from me.
He warmed my heart, just like that day... when he saved me from bullies...
Why...? Why...? Why...? I thought i could be happy with him...
Destiny took him away from me...
Destiny has a name... Ema...
I didn't expect that she was his girlfriend.
I knew that snake since little.
She was always jealous of me... Always.
She took everything i had from me...
Maybe i deserved that... because my brother hated Kanna...
And she... and she decided to ruin my life just to avenge her...
Who knows...
This disgusting brother of mine... i hate him, more than i hate Ema.
If one day he's gonna hurt Fumihiro... I swear that i'll call the police.
Fumihiro... is a gentle soul, but his kind nature is the reason of his future fall.
He'll suffer like hell, and i don't want this.
I must warn him about Ema and how toxic she is.
Is this the right thing to do...? Should i really interfere with his private life...?
I don't know... I don't know what else to do.
Why am i such a dumb girl sometimes!?
Why couldn't i just live a normal life?! Why did my brother ruin everything?
I have to work to pay all of his debts...
Since our parents died... Everything has changed...
You'll already know the story, don't you? Haha!
I'll write you again when i'll face Fumihiro.
He's in hospital now... I'll save him... No matter what.
I'm writing all the stuff i have in my head, without any normal logic or connection.
Hehe... I hate my life.