As I lay on my bed, surrounded by the familiar comfort of my room, the events of the day replayed in my mind like scenes from a movie.
The tension between Ema and Suzuki, the awkwardness of the lunch, and the underlying currents of jealousy and uncertainty.
I still didn't know what to think.
I was really stressed and i needed some rest.
"Why is everything happening now?" I asked to myself, trying to find some answers.
I kept staring at the ceiling for a while while still resting on my bed.
I couldn't shake the feeling that something was brewing beneath the surface, something that threatened to disrupt the fragile equilibrium of our relationships.
Ema's behavior, though masked with a facade of calm, hinted at deeper emotions simmering beneath the surface.
She was trying her best for me, to make our couple life better, but for some reason, it didn't feel so natural or genuine.
Ema was forcing herself to fix her behavior,
And Suzuki, with her unwavering dedication and subtle gestures, seemed to be walking a tightrope between hope and despair.
Lost in my thoughts, I reached for my phone on the bedside table, contemplating whether to reach out to Ema or Suzuki.
I really needed to speak with both of them, maybe by asking for a direct confrontation.
I needed to tell Ema my thoughts.
I needed to speak with her about our problems in order to face every obstacle together.
And i also needed to speak with Suzuki.
I needed to thank her for all the good things she has done for me.
But a part of me hesitated, unsure of how to starts a conversation with them.
"Ah… I'm so awful…" I sighed.
As I pondered my next move, a soft knock on my door broke the silence.
My mother's gentle voice filtered through the wooden barrier, accompanied by the creak of the door opening.
"Fumihiro, may I come in?" she asked, concern lacing her words.
"Of course, Mother," I replied, sitting up on the bed as she entered the room.
She took a seat beside me, her expression warm yet tinged with a hint of worry.
"I couldn't help but notice the tension during lunch today," she began, her eyes searching mine for reassurance.
I also needed to speak with my mother about my problems.
She has always been the one who truly cared for me.
I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "It's complicated, Mother. I wish I could explain everything, but..." My voice trailed off, the weight of unspoken truths heavy on my shoulders.
She reached out and gently squeezed my hand. "You don't have to explain everything right now, Fumihiro. But remember, I'm here for you, no matter what."
Her words were a balm to my troubled mind, offering a glimmer of solace in the midst of uncertainty.
With a small smile, I leaned into her embrace, grateful for her unwavering support.
"Thank you, Mother," I whispered, feeling a sense of gratitude wash over me.
"You know that mama is always here for you, right?~" she said while gently passing her hand trough my hair.
Heh… a grown boy like me hugging his mother like a baby would.
That surely was a lovely scene.
Her hug actually cleaned up my entire soul.
"Mother, can i ask you something?" I said while gently getting away from her hug.
"Yes, Fumi. Ask me everything." She replied with a reassuring smile.
"Well… do you know what happened between me and Ema?" I asked.
My mother hesitated for a second before answering and then, she nodded.
"Yes, i know everything." She replied.
My eyes widened.
"Everything?" I asked with a surprised expression.
Just like i thought, my mother knew everything.
"Yes, everything." She said with a very sorry tone.
"…" I didn't know what to say. I felt betrayed.
"I knew it… since you started talking about father. You never talk about him and you were trembling." I said.
My mother remained silent for a few seconds before answering, cleaning her throat and taking a deep breath.
"Well… Ema came crying to me, asking for forgiveness. She was asking me for advices. That guy was stalking her… I'm sorry for not telling you anything, but I'm your mother, and i didn't want to interfere with your relationship. I felt truly sorry for hiding such a thing, but that's because Ema told me that she could solve everything." My mother said.
"Mother, do you know how much this hurts me ? Everyone has been manipulating me, telling me nothing more than lies… if I can't trust you, who am i supposed to trust?!?" I said, with a very sad voice.
My mother felt truly sorry for what she's done.
"I know, Fumi. I've been wrong. I trusted Ema's words too. She said that everything was under control but she was wrong." My mother then grabbed my hand and held it for a while.
"You know that she has suffered a lot, right? You know how difficult her home environment is. Right now, all you have to do is help her to get out from this situation." My mother was defending Ema.
"You're right. And that's what i'm going to do, but there is a big problem." I said , while scratching the back of my head.
"What is it?" My mother asked.
"Well… the thing is… I've been having trust issues recently. I don't know what to do, what to think. Even with Ema. It's very difficult to trust her words despite everything that she's been through…" i said while lowering my gaze to the floor. "Am i a bad boyfriend for this?" I asked, while looking my mother into my eyes.
She gently gave me a reassuring smile.
"No, Fumi. It's completely normal. You feel betrayed in your trust. I can't blame you for that. A similiar situation happened to me and your father when we started dating." She said, while gently caressing my hand.
My eyes widened because my mother was about to speak about father.
"What happened?" I asked in curiosity.
"Well… when we started dating, a lot of people tried to separate me from him… one in particular threatened me with a knife and after that i was about to break up with him but… he never left me alone since then. We became more united than ever and he always protected me from the dangers… and then we married… he was the perfect man, you know? You really resemble him in his prime." She then giggled lovingly.
Her eyes began to sparkle after talking about father.
She has always been very devoted to him and she remained single from the day he died.
She always said "he's not dead, we always meet each other in my dreams…"
"R-Really…?" I asked in surprise.
"Yes." She then gently pinched my cheek. "Even if he's not here, i know that he's always watching and protecting us. I love him so much… and i love you and Takibi as much as i love him." My mother then shed a little tear and hugged me again. "Fumi, the only thing that i can suggest you to do is to analyze your situation. You must help Ema , that's for sure , but if you don't trust her, there's no reason to force a relationship."
My mother then gently patted my head like when i was little.
I felt truly relaxed at her touch and her words literally arrived directly into my heart despite hitting like a train.
"Mother… another thing…" i whispered.
"What is it?" She said with a loving tone.
"I've been deciding to act in a cold way to observe Ema's behavior… She said that she wanted to change but… it seems like nothing has happened…" I told my mother about my "plan" to have her opinion on it.
"Well… i think that in these cases all you have to do is to speak properly and discuss like two mature people. Hiding things and acting like a different person would only break things… You're Ema's only anchor now, the only one who can save her… but i know your feeling. You want to be understood, right?" My mother said.
I broke the hug and nodded at her.
"You're totally right… I don't recognize Ema anymore… Am i in love with her or am i in love with a mask of her ?" I said. My voice was a broken whisper almost on the verge to cry.
Sadness began to overflow directly into my veins after this discussion with my mother.
I didn't think straight about the situation but everything began to be more clear.
I started to realize that i was being such a stupid guy.
"Well… if you want a tip form your mother here's one: Be direct and don't fear to ask anything. You don't have to be scared about what people thinks about you. They will think everything. All you have to do is being sincere." My mother smiled at me again and then stood up.
She was totally right.
Until now, i've been living my life without telling the thing i really wanted to say.
I've always been the condescending one.
I needed to change…
"Fumihiro, I'll ask you: what do you feel? Do you love Ema ?" She asked.
That question caught me off guard and my eyes widened.
"I… i… yes but… I'm so confused… I don't know…" I mumbled.
"If you love Ema, go talk to her and save her. You'll see that everything will go in its own way. But if you see something wrong , I'm just gonna tell you that people won't change for others, but just for themselves." Replied my mother with a loving smile.
"And now i'm going to leave you alone, okay? I think that you'll need some time for yourself to think about everything. I'm here for everything, my baby boy~." She added, while opening the door of my room.
I was truly grateful to the fate for giving me such a beautiful and caring mother.
"Thank you, Mama." I said, smiling.
Then, my mother left my room with a smile and closed the door.
The talk with her really helped me to feel much better.
It was like removing a weight from my body.
Then, a small notification sound coming from my phone caught my attention.
"Uh?" I said, while grabbing the phone.
I saw a message from Suzuki-San.
The message said : "Fumi! Would you like to go to the arcade room with me, Benjiro , Evangeline and Kazuha tomorrow after school?"
I was surprised by that message.
I didn't expect for Kazuha to become friends with Benjiro and Suzuki.
Life can be so surprising sometimes.
Then, another message arrived to me.
This time it was from Ema.
It said : "Hey, darling, I'm almost done with my things. Can i sleep at your place tonight?"
What a funny situation.
Ema said that she couldn't stay here because of some problems with her parents.
But then she changed into saying that she was gonna take some things at home and come back.
Well, this would've been the perfect chance to talk with her without hiding things, to make myself clear without any secrets.
I don't want lies and i don't want to lie.
Then, i wrote "yes" to both Suzuki and Ema and , after some seconds, they replied to me with a happy smiling emoji.
After that, i stood up from the bed.
"I think that i should buy some groceries for dinner…"
Then, i walked out of my room and headed to the kitchen.
I saw my mother cleaning it but there was a very important detail.
Near her, there was a small photo of my dad.
The one that she always has near her bed when she sleeps.
My mother was cleaning the kitchen with a smile while talking to my dad's photo like he was here.
I couldn't help but feeling emotional after seeing that scene.
I was very moved by seeing how much my mother loved dad.
"If only you could know how much we miss you, my love…" said my mother. "Our babies are rapidly becoming men. I know you're watching them…" my mom then grabbed the photo and gave a small kiss on it, before holding it in her chest like she was giving a hug.
"Wow…" i thought.
I was about to cry from emotions.
My mother then put down the photo and kept cleaning.
I pretended not to see the scene and just softly shouted "Mama, I'm going to buy some groceries!! See you later!" Before leaving the house.
I heard my mother saying "Take care!!".
I smiled and decided to go to the nearest supermarket.
The name was "Ohayo groceries & Co."
It was only 15 minutes of walk from my house.
I started walking , heading to the supermarket.
Like always, i put my earphone in my ears to listen to some music.
After 5-6 minutes of walking, i saw two familiar figures in the distance.
"What…? Are they…?!"
My eyes widened.
I just saw Kazuha and Chiko walking together.
"What the…" i thought.
The sight of Chiko was enough to make my blood boil , but seeing him next to Kazuha made me more angry.
"Is he also stalking her?!" I thought.
I needed to save Kazuha… that's what i thought.
I removed my earphone and hid between the crowd.
Kazuha and Chiko walked close to me, but they didn't notice my presence.
But suddenly, i heard Kazuha saying something that i never expected for her to say.
"Brother, please, leave me alone. You're disgusting." Kazuha said with a very angry tone.
My eyes widened even more in shock.
"B-Brother…?" I was shocked…
~~~~~~Extra chapter - Ema's situation~~~~~~
"I'm home." I said , with an irritated tone.
The arguing with Suzuki really killed me from the inside.
I didn't even have the force to talk anymore.
"Welcome home, Ema." Kanna said, with an annoyed tone.
"…" I didn't reply to her.
Kanna has been acting strange since Fumihiro was in hospital.
She keeps spending everyday by doing nothing more than playing video games or writing her diary.
She barely goes out with her friends.
I didn't hear any reply from my parents but I didn't care.
I directly ran into my room, locking the door and jumping into my bed.
I curled up into a fetal position, my favorite one.
My arm still hurts from the cuts.
I've been a fool.
I couldn't call anyone "friend".
"It seems that Haruka is in love with Fumihiro, right…? Incredible…" i thought.
My mind was full of intrusive thoughts.
Today i tried my best for Fumihiro, to prove to him that i wanted to change.
But… despite all my efforts, i felt an immense wave of jealousy when i saw Haruka in his house and I couldn't help but replying like this…
I didn't want to control his decisions but it was stronger than me.
My jealousy didn't want him to interact with Haruka.
"What is happening to me…?" I thought.
I then put my hands on my head, like I wanted to pull away all my hair.
I was becoming crazy.
I knew I could even assault Haruka, one of my few friends…
Why was I becoming so obsessed with Fumi?
Is this considered love…?
"I don't know… maybe Haruka is right… I don't deserve him… but even if this might be real, she won't take him away from me."
Exactly.
Nobody could steal Fumihiro from me…
I… just wanted to be loved and accepted.
I needed his help with Chiko.
I need for someone to get rid of him, I don't want to get hurt…
And my parents… my parents knew what happened to Fumihiro and my mother had almost beaten me.
I've been saved in corner by Kanna.
They probably hated me… like always.
Then, I noticed a small packet on my desk.
"Oh… this is…" I said, while getting up and grabbing it.
Then, opened the small package.
"Oh… this is the gift i bought from him last month… I forgot to give it to him…"
That was a bracelet with the initials of our names.
I put it in my bag and went back in the bed to rest for a bit.
My thoughts were filled with Fumihiro.
I was jealous. Too much jealous.
Another girl wanted to steal him from me…
But the scariest part is that she knows everything about me and Kazuha.
"Kazuha… that… that girl has come again to ruin my life… she probably wants revenge so she's making everyone to hate me…"
After that, i promised to myself that nothing and no one could separate me from Fumihiro.
Not even Kazuha and not even Suzuki…
But her words…
When she said that i probably liked Chiko's attentions… "who knows…" i knew that she was wrong but…
That would explain why I'm feeling so bad for that situation…
I was confused. Too much confused.
My only certainty was my love for Fumihiro.
"No one is gonna steal him from me…" i said.
Then, i decided to send him a message, by asking if I could sleep at his place.
He replied "Yes" after some minutes and his reply warmed my heart.
I was happy.
After that, I then decided to put on some sexy lingerie and a new set of clothes.
"Tonight is gonna be funny… Fufufu…~" I said to myself…