Chereads / I thought i could be happy / Chapter 32 - Chapter 32: Stop, Ema.

Chapter 32 - Chapter 32: Stop, Ema.

As soon as she said that she was gonna explain all the whole situation , my mind couldn't stop thinking about the sight of the blood on the floor.

I was shocked and also a little bit scared, but i pretended not to care.

I heard the sound of the door closing behind me.

Ema was staring at me with a very sad look.

Her eyes were literally telling me something like "save me".

She was playing with her hair a little, and i couldn't help but notice that she was hiding her left arm behind her back.

"Ema. Tell me. I'm waiting." I asked with a firm tone.

"So... you don't feel sorry for me at all?" Ema asked with a tone akin to a beaten dog.

She even gave me puppy eyes, as if she wanted to be understood and embraced.

I shook my head, letting her know that my answer was a simple "No."

Ema nervously chuckled with a hint of sadness.

She was surprised by my reaction.

She expected me to embrace her as if nothing had happened.

In this case, she was wrong.

"I understand. You're not entirely wrong. I would be angry too... but you need answers, I get it," Ema said.

Her voice was almost a painful whisper of someone who didn't know what else to say.

"Yeah, Ema. I need a lot of answers," I replied coldly.

"Okay... I'll start from the beginning," she said, looking me in the eyes.

Ema took a deep breath and began to speak slowly.

"Chiko suddenly came into the picture a few months ago. He's a bad person, not someone you'd recommend, and he hangs out with bad people... He happened to see me walking with Kanna that time we went out for dinner while you were busy studying," she said, trembling.

"And what did he do?" I asked.

"At that moment, nothing. He approached us under the pretext of asking for directions and started talking to Kanna... But he was targeting me. I was stupid not to realize it earlier," Ema said.

"Go on," I said. My anger was growing inside me. I was very nervous at that moment.

"He seemed like a nice person, and we exchanged contacts because he often asked me for advices on how to win over my sister. They were casual conversations, that's why never told you anything." Ema said, avoiding eye contact.

"...I'm speechless. And you were the possessive and jealous one who often checked my phone without me ever doing anything?" I replied angrily but calmly.

"Yes. I'm a hypocrite," Ema replied, with a strong sense of guilt in her voice.

"Even just hiding something stupid like that from you felt like betraying you. I was consumed by guilt every day, and all of this led me to have these unfair behaviors towards you," she added, tears streaming down her eyes.

"..." I didn't reply despite seeing her tears, letting her continue her monologue.

In other situations i would've hugged her and said "It's alright, i'm here now", but that wasn't the case.

"A short while after some innocent conversations, Chiko started harassing me. Calling me obsessively, following me, and even making shameful propositions," Ema said, sounding very sad and remorseful.

She sobbed and paused for a few seconds before continuing to speak.

She took another deep breath and started again.

"Chiko has been stalking me for quite some time now. I've always needed you because I was afraid of him. He started following me everywhere, knew where I was. He would tell me I was beautiful, that I should be his... You have no idea how disgusted I was," Ema's body trembled as she spoke these words.

She was still hiding her left arm behind her back.

"You should have told me about this, Ema. No secrets, remember?" I said, my heart rate increasing and my hands clenched into tight fists.

"Yes... No secrets, but he threatened me. He said that if I told you anything, he would hurt me... and you too," she said.

This time she looked me in the eyes, and her gaze didn't waver.

"Ema. We should have dealt with everything together. You lied to me until the end. I can't forgive your lies after all the times you manipulated me during this time," I replied.

I was angry. Everything Ema was saying was only making me more furious. I had been far too lenient so far.

"I KNOW, FUMI! I KNOW! *sob*" She shouted in a desperate tone. "I WAS... I... i was scared..." She added.

Now her loud shout became nothing more than a broken whisper. 

As Ema's words hung heavily in the air, a storm of conflicting emotions raged within me.

Anger, betrayal, hurt—they all churned together, threatening to overwhelm any sense of rationality.

But amidst the turmoil, there was a flicker of something else—something akin to empathy for the fear Ema must have experienced.

"You should have trusted me," I said, my voice tinged with disappointment. "We could have faced this together, but instead, you chose to shoulder it alone."

Ema's shoulders slumped, and she cast her gaze downward, unable to meet my eyes.

"I know," she whispered, her voice barely audible above the tension between us. "I was scared, and I didn't know what to do." She replied, while lowering her gaze to the floor.

The vulnerability in her voice softened my anger slightly, but it didn't erase the deep sense of betrayal I felt.

Still, I knew that berating her further wouldn't solve anything.

"Ema. I have a question." I said firmly, breaking the loud silence between us. 

I was about to ask a very dangerous question that could kill or relieve me.

"What is it?" She whispered.

"You said a lot of things. But you forgot the most important one: Did you cheat on me? Did you do something with him?". I asked , with a cold voice.

I caught Ema off guard with this question.

Her body shaked for a second.

"You really asked me this… nothing of what i said actually arrived to your brain…" She said with a very aggressive but calm tone.

I knew that behavior.

It was the seme of when we discussed about the karaoke and what Benjiro said.

She's gonna say that I'm the guilty one now.

"Ema. I know where this is leading, so I'll stop you before you continue." I said.

"Just answer yes or no. It's not hard, isn't it?" I added, while still looking into her eyes.

She was still shedding tears.

"…If you're saying physically, then no. I never touched , kissed or had sex with him or anyone else beside you." She said with a firm tone.

"But if you're talking about this whole situation then yes. I cheated. I'm scum. This is considered cheating. I lied… I…" she then broke down in tears, falling on her knees.

I could tell that she was saying the truth.

She then revealed her left arm.

Blood was directly falling from it.

I even saw lots of cuts on her skin.

She cut herself.

Ema felt guilty for what she's done.

At the sight of that, i couldn't hold back.

A lots of emotions came to my mind.

Pain, confusion , sadness, anger, uncertainty, sense of guilt… too many things to explain it in words.

It felt like i was the bad guy here.

"I am awful." I thought to myself.

Ema even arrived to the point to cut herself…

I kept staring at her while she was breaking down in tears.

I was blocked. I didn't know what to do.

"Do i need to comfort her…? Or should i not believe her words ?".

"I'm the worst boyfriend ever…" i thought.

My girlfriend was crying in front of me, with open wounds, after getting stalked by a criminal, and i was only looking at her, doing nothing.

Maybe all the lies that they said to me during these days made me much more diffident, even to my girlfriend.

"Ema…" my voice was barely a whisper, full of guilt.

That was the only thing i could say.

"Fumihiro… please… i… im so sorry. I need you." she said while crying desperately, still with blood streaming down from her arm.

I was scared.

Right in front of me there wasn't Ema, but a completely different girl.

"Ema… You're bleeding!" I softly shouted, while rushing to her.

"That's why I couldn't come to see you at the hospital… now you know everything." she said while crying.

After she said this, my body immediately stopped itself on his own.

This seemed like another way to manipulate me and make me the bad one.

"Ema… what are you…?" I asked.

"I'm sorry for all these lies, Fumi. There's no need to help me. I will take care of this injuries. This is nothing compared to how much you suffered." She said , while her tears slowed down.

She was literally breaking me piece by piece.

I didn't know why she was saying all of these things.

One question came to my mind: "Where are her parents?"

I wanted to ask her but that wasn't the right moment.

I stopped thinking.

"I don't know what to do…" i said to myself.

Once again, being indecisive was literally ruining the situation.

"Should i help her…? Or should i go away not believing any of her words and breaking up our relationship?" That's what I thought.

I was feeling too many emotions to think straight.

"Please… Fumihiro… I'm sorry if i cheated on you. Forgive me. Help me… anything… hold me…" Ema said while looking at me.

Her tone was desperate and she was craving for my touch.

Once again, my mind was conflicted…