I have never been here for quite some time. A month or two I would say. My friend Cedrick has helped me through this shitshow. Along the way I amassed a couple other allies who seem to enjoy my company. Despite the I am scrambles, this place was actually serene. I haven't thought about my past in a while and let's just say their afternoon pudding is to die for. Now that I had been staying there for quite a while, I understood the programme. We were woken up at around 8.30 in the morning. That is after the 'patients' including me made our way from our hideaway early dawn so they would not suspect a thing. We would proceed on to the gathering area where we would have these sacred prayers. There was a bishop who used to visit every 9.00am in the morning. Honestly, I'm not really a religious person but we just all have to kneel down and put our hands together to give the bishop some sort of fulfilment. It's not like I wasn't a "God" guy. Its just that after Phillip, I lost hope in basically everything. Cedrick and a few of some of his companions gave me at least something to live for. The breakfast could be better, but we take what we have. Since I have a cook who is some distant cousin of my mom, I got some mashed potatoes every Tuesday and Thursday. On my first day, I didn't really expect the welcome I received. The day now after being confused as hell because I was running at one am in the freaking morning, everything went on smoothly after. In White Rand, they had a strict policy on welcoming newbies in order to make them feel loved. In my life I have never been the centre of attention like I was then. Cedrick took me to the cafeteria which was like on the other side of the bock. He continued his narration about this hellhole and how he expanded his territory since he got here. The cafeteria entrance had like 6 banners, each saying 'WELCOME YOU ARE ONE OF US NOW GREG'. This followed with an ice cream cone that found its way to my left hand. Could I be more content? I started hating my parents less because I mean, at least the food is not bad. When I waled into the cafeteria with Cedrick, all eyes were on me. I gathered intel from the other patients that Cedrick is the top dog around here. The fact that I was walking with him was kind of a big deal. Whenever he noticed that all the uninvited glances were overwhelming me, he just looked beyond my back with a stone face printed on his face. They turned their heads faster than I could imagine. After breakfast, we had some sort of free period at the courtyard. It was kind of like individual meditation in a way. Since I was new to the area, Cedrick took me to his spot. With no doubt he had the best one among all these others. He sat on a wide branch that showed him the ocean and the birds. Tranquillity at its finest. The classes took up most of the day around 4.30pm. The recreation time afterwards was quite busy. There were so many things you could do. I signed in to book club cause I'm not really an outdoorsy person as much. I feel like everyone understood me there and the pain of losing the people I love slowly faded away. As the days went by, I slowly claimed my spot in the institution. At night, Cedrick, some of his friends and I would have a round table and devise a way to escape. They had blueprints o the whole area so navigation was the only obstacle. From the bunker, the tunnel that Josh and some of his friends came together and started, only went like 50m before hitting some hard wall. Josh had been here for about 5 years. He was 22 years, tall, broad and scary. He came after Cedrick who was about the same age as he. They were the best of friends before I came. Well its not like he isn't his best friend anymore. Its just that Cedrick prioritises my wellbeing more than he does Josh. He has been sending me mean glances ever since I got there and I couldn't approach him at all. I mean look at him! The girls were tested for pregnancy after every 2 months. I don't think the institution really encourages birth. I had now only a month left in there. It hadn't really clicked honestly but I regret saying that I honestly prefer here to home. My friendship status was workable, and my life, well... Honestly, I have been a knot since I talked to Jessica. Jessica is the secretary of book club. She may or may not have been the reason why I joined the club. Anyway, on my first session, she looked at me once and gave me a warm smile exposing her perfect teeth and rosy cheeks. I didn't know if she was seeing anyone at that time but my mind had only one mission. Right after class I introduced myself and slowly, we became friends. It was on my 18th birthday that I decided to shoot my shot. I made sure that non one knew my birth date because I knew they would make a big deal out of it. But of course, after breakfast, the caretakers burst in with a 5kg cake drawn Maria on it and eighteen candles. I was not really a birthday celebration kind of guy. The last time I did a party was around 10, and it was because my parents forced me to through one. So later in the day when Jessica was alone at the patio, I went and sat next to her. We had been talking every single day for like two months now. My game was on point, not giving myself all the credit, but when her face was melting with incessant giggles, I knew I had said all the right things. From then, we started seeing each other but we haven't been really close, of late. The one flaw in our relationship is that she doesn't like Cedrick, she told me that they knew each other before this. To make matters more complicated, she added that they used to date and broke up a while ago. I learnt about this a week ago. I have been looking for the courage to approach Cedrick and ask him how it went down. And I kind of felt bad for dating his ex. But he never really shows any reaction when I'm with her. That was the things I loved about Cedrick. I could tell him anything and he would not make fun of me or judge me or anything like that. I would say that he is my best friend. Last Wednesday after book club, Jess and I snuck into one of the board rooms and made out. Believe it or not, that was when we had our first kiss. When she said that she had never kissed anyone, I found it pretty hard to believe. I mean, you look like that and you're a lip virgin. I could not believe it. She was very innocent and kind person I must say. Whenever she thought that there was something that I did wrong, she would come to me. Yes, It's been a chill and all. Yesterday is when I had the shock of my life. After our classes at 4.30pm, I went to my spot and on my way, I couldn't believe what I saw. Cedrick was on his tree and you wouldn't believe who was next to him. Jess was there. But not only that, they were kissing. I stopped in my tracks in uttermost shock. This isn't your ideal day in a rehab centre, finding your girl cheating on you with your best friend, who was her ex to make things worse. I ran back to my room and locked the door. I was so fucking pissed off. I kept on asking myself how long had it been going on for. I felt like a fool face down into my drenched pillow. My eyes dark red as I looked into my 30 by 30cm mirror on the left side of my bed. Anger began seeping in my veins as I marched out of my room heading for the bunker. I had one thing in mind and one thing alone, to end Cedrick Wafula's life. At the back of the bunker, Josh hid several guns in case it got bad. I don't know how the hell he got them in the first place but I wasn't really trying to ask him though. I did not want to know. There was a combination which everyone knew. It was his little sister's birthday. I took it without thinking and headed right for Cedrick.