Chereads / used to be a mental patient. / Chapter 13 - Chapter 13: Self-Inflicted, Unbearable

Chapter 13 - Chapter 13: Self-Inflicted, Unbearable

As men, self-gratification is something they must have all experienced. When Chen Qianqing helped Lu Zhengfei with his hand, he consoled himself, knowing that he was actually self-gratifying. Facing the same face, he felt strange. If it wasn't for the fear that Lu Zhengfei couldn't bear it anymore and would suffer, Chen Qianqing would never have suggested such a thing.

Since Lu Zhengfei first had an encounter with Chen Qianqing, Chen Qianqing had been suffering from insomnia. He could only sleep for a few hours at night, and his hand could count the times he slept.

Lu Zhengfei didn't notice the change in Chen Qianqing. He only felt that Chen Qianqing had become more compromising compared to before, not as stubborn and sharp.

Their previous relationship was abnormal, more like mutual torture rather than a normal romantic relationship. Chen Qianqing's greatest pleasure was watching Lu Zhengfei suffer.

And now, Lu Zhengfei had become Chen Qianqing, almost like a revenge for Chen Qianqing. He wanted Lu Zhengfei to experience all the torture he had endured.

In reality, that earlier Chen Qianqing was right. The Lu Zhengfei who had become Chen Qianqing had to endure nightmares he had never imagined, such as being violated by himself.

The young Lu Zhengfei had a lot of energy, and as Chen Qianqing held onto his organ, he lowered his head with a slight frown, appearing extremely distressed.

"Qianqing," Lu Zhengfei wanted to reach out and hug Chen Qianqing, but he was avoided.

"Lu Zhengfei," Chen Qianqing glanced sideways at the increasingly heavy breathing Lu Zhengfei and coldly said, "Sit and don't move." The warmth of the organ in his hand increased, feeling like it was burning his palm.

The person in front of him looked exactly like him, and Chen Qianqing couldn't even raise his head. He even had a feeling that he was self-gratifying while looking at himself in the mirror. With Chen Qianqing's movements, Lu Zhengfei finally ejaculated.

"Qianqing," Lu Zhengfei said, "I want you."

Chen Qianqing's body instantly stiffened. He knew that helping Lu Zhengfei with his hand was only a temporary measure, and he couldn't keep refusing Lu Zhengfei's advances. It may be a month or two, but eventually, he would have to give in. But the longer it went on, the more difficult it would be to deceive Lu Zhengfei.

The young Lu Zhengfei was also someone who didn't yield to pressure. It was only after Chen Qianqing's death, after his pride had been shattered, that he understood the importance of compromise.

If the twenty-something-year-old Lu Zhengfei became the twenty-something-year-old Chen Qianqing, they would most likely end up in a worse situation, fighting each other and getting trapped in a more disastrous situation.

But at this moment, facing Lu Zhengfei's desire for intimacy, Chen Qianqing just wanted to buy more time. So he said, "Lu Zhengfei, can you give me some time?"

Chen Qianqing rarely spoke in such a negotiated tone, let alone say such words. After hearing this, Lu Zhengfei's eyes filled with surprise. He said, "Qianqing, do you mean you're willing to accept me?"

Chen Qianqing didn't say a word, he just tore off a tissue and wiped away the liquid on his hand.

"Qianqing?" Lu Zhengfei grabbed Chen Qianqing's shoulder and forcibly turned him around. He looked at Chen Qianqing's face and said, "Do you mean, you're willing to accept me?"

Chen Qianqing's gaze remained calm all along. Looking at Lu Zhengfei's excited expression, he felt a tinge of sadness. Yes, the young Lu Zhengfei longed for Chen Qianqing's acceptance, but unfortunately, Lu Zhengfei would never get what he wanted.

So Chen Qianqing said each word with emphasis, "Lu Zhengfei, I can never fall in love with you." This sentence represented himself and the Chen Qianqing who had been hurt by him. He didn't want to deceive Lu Zhengfei's feelings, so even though the stars in Lu Zhengfei's eyes instantly faded away, he still said these words.

Lu Zhengfei stopped smiling and silently looked at Chen Qianqing. In this instant, their eyes were shockingly similar.

Lu Zhengfei said, "Even if you lie to me, you still won't accept me?"

"Chen Qianqing calmly asked, 'Do you want me to lie to you?'"

Luo Zhengfei remained silent. In truth, both of them knew the answer very well. The previously ambiguous atmosphere suddenly dropped to freezing point. The warmth on Luo Zhengfei's face gradually disappeared, leaving only coldness behind.

Luo Zhengfei said, "In that case, let's leave it at that."

After speaking, he stood up, fixed his clothes, and turned to leave.

Chen Qianqing sat on the sofa, watching Luo Zhengfei's figure fade away. Suddenly, he felt suffocated. He had hurt Chen Qianqing before, so now he was going to hurt himself in an even crueler way.

No one understood better than Chen Qianqing what would make Luo Zhengfei feel completely desolate.

With a loud sound, Luo Zhengfei closed the door. Chen Qianqing slowly stood up and returned to the bedroom.

During the long summer vacation, Chen Qianqing focused most of his energy on the rehabilitation of his legs. He didn't want this incident to leave any consequences on his body, so even though it was very painful, he persisted.

After that conversation, Luo Zhengfei started spending less time at home. He would come back to stay for three or four days a week, and for the rest of the time, nobody knew what he was busy with.

Chen Qianqing wasn't worried at all that Luo Zhengfei would cheat on him. No one knew better than him how devoted Luo Zhengfei was to him.

In August, the weather was hot. Luo Zhengfei specifically hired a rehabilitation specialist to help Chen Qianqing recover.

Chen Qianqing thanked Luo Zhengfei, but he only nodded. They had been cold war for a month, or more accurately, it was a one-sided cold war initiated by Luo Zhengfei. Chen Qianqing's words of "I will never love you" seemed to have a huge impact on Luo Zhengfei.

Chen Qianqing had said those words before, but usually it was just an outburst of anger, and Luo Zhengfei would prefer to take it as a vent of Chen Qianqing's emotions.

But that day, Chen Qianqing was very calm, so calm that Luo Zhengfei couldn't help but believe that those words were truly from the bottom of Chen Qianqing's heart – he would never fall in love with him.

There was nothing more frustrating for Luo Zhengfei than this. He really wanted to deceive himself as he did in the past, but he just couldn't do it.

Chen Qianqing pretended not to know about Luo Zhengfei's recent situation. He diligently focused on his rehabilitation, wanting his legs to recover quickly. However, because of this, he forgot an important date.

Chen Qianqing's birthday was on November 7th, while Luo Zhengfei's birthday was on August 19th.

And now, Chen Qianqing only remembered his own birthday and completely forgot about Luo Zhengfei's.

On the 19th, Luo Zhengfei woke up early. Chen Qianqing woke up at eight and saw Luo Zhengfei already finished with breakfast.

Chen Qianqing greeted Luo Zhengfei as usual, and as usual, Luo Zhengfei ignored him.

Actually, Chen Qianqing didn't care whether Luo Zhengfei acknowledged him or not. He even felt relieved that he didn't have to talk to Luo Zhengfei.

Luo Zhengfei looked at Chen Qianqing, who was drinking porridge, and spoke for the first time in a month, "Qianqing, I want you to play the piano."

Chen Qianqing's movements froze. He could perfectly portray Chen Qianqing because he knew everything about him, except for one huge flaw – he couldn't play the piano at all.

Luo Zhengfei said, "Just for today, play a piece for me, okay?"

Chen Qianqing put down his spoon and casually asked, "Why? Why do you suddenly want to listen to me play the piano?" - Yes, he completely forgot that it was Luo Zhengfei's birthday today.

Fortunately, Luo Zhengfei didn't expect Chen Qianqing to remember what day it was. He just looked at Chen Qianqing and said, "You don't want to play?"

Chen Qianqing noticed the danger in Luo Zhengfei's gaze. Although Luo Zhengfei's expression was calm, Chen Qianqing knew that he was about to get angry.

Provoking Luo Zhengfei on his birthday was definitely not a wise thing to do, especially when they had been cold war for a month. But Chen Qianqing couldn't agree to Luo Zhengfei's request; he couldn't do it.

Sometimes, silence is the best answer. Luo Zhengfei coldly said, "Are you sure you won't play the piano?"

For some reason, Chen Qianqing felt a tightness in his chest. He sighed softly and looked at the indifferent expression on Luo Zhengfei's face. He whispered, "Luo Zhengfei, are you angry with me?"

Luo Zhengfei said, "Chen Qianqing, let me ask one more time. Will you play or not?"

Failing to change the topic, Chen Qianqing could only face Luo Zhengfei's question head-on. He even doubted if Luo Zhengfei would directly smash the piano if he continued to refuse. Without the bond they had, it no longer held any value.

Chen Qianqing looked into Luo Zhengfei's eyes and decided to tell the truth. "Luo Zhengfei, I can't play the piano anymore."

Luo Zhengfei's expression didn't change. He thought Chen Qianqing was lying and just brushing him off. "You can't play anymore?"

"Yes," Chen Qianqing said without flinching. "When I woke up, I realized that I couldn't play anymore."

Luo Zhengfei smiled. "So what you're saying is that the piano has no value anymore?"

Before Chen Qianqing could react, Luo Zhengfei stood up, picked up a stool, and headed towards the second floor. Almost in the next second, Chen Qianqing realized what Luo Zhengfei wanted to do – he wanted to smash the piano.

Chen Qianqing's mind exploded with thoughts. The only thought remaining was, "Luo Zhengfei, you bastard. How dare you touch that piano?!"

Before his mind could fully process the situation, his body had already rushed towards Luo Zhengfei.

Chen Qianqing couldn't defeat Luo Zhengfei. Whether it was height or physique, he was no match for Luo Zhengfei. So much so that if Luo Zhengfei wanted, it would be difficult for him to stop his actions.

The two of them tugged and pulled their way up the stairs. Seeing that Luo Zhengfei had lost control and didn't listen to anything he said, Chen Qianqing had to resort to his last resort. He shouted at Luo Zhengfei, "You fucking just want to have sex with me, right? What kind of man gets angry at a piano? If you have the guts, come fuck me, asshole!"

Luo Zhengfei's movements paused, and his eyes, slightly red with anger, shifted from the piano room to Chen Qianqing. "Are you sure?"

Looking into Luo Zhengfei's beast-like eyes, Chen Qianqing felt a bitter taste in his mouth.