Chapter 20 - Star (2)

Anne smiles. "Oh dear, were you talking to a friend?"

"I..."

She winks conspiratorially and lifts a finger to her lips. "Your secret's safe with me."

My 'secret' is being exposed by that very statement. I cross my arms, head lowering, scowling in the hopes that she'll just get the hint and drop it.

It works. She moves on to talk to my mother.

Mother surveys me thoughtfully. "You look like you were having fun, my child. Your sister and I would like to discuss something with you, however."

"What's that?"

Her eyes sparkle as they travel past me. I turn my head to see what she's looking at.

"There's a charming young man watching you, Ophelia. One who can't take his eyes off you. Shouldn't you introduce him to your family? Since he seems so fond of you."

I roll my eyes. "If he were watching me he would know to come and introduce himself."

Anne jumps in, tugging my mother's arm. "Oh, you mean that nobleman over there in the brown suit and black cape, don't you?! With the auburn hair? I think his name was - oh, I don't remember what it was...but I talked with him a bit earlier, and he seemed nice enough...very shy, though..."

Anne beams and looks at me, nodding. "I approve."

I pout a bit. I don't want them meddling. I don't want this stranger getting the wrong idea and starting drama when he should be nowhere near me.

It would be easier to handle if I weren't wearing this ridiculous costume that obscures my identity.

Mother clears her throat, a bit more seriously this time, and takes my hand, pressing it between hers. "Ophelia."

"...This is rather absurd, don't you think?" I say, finally. "Trying to meddle when you know I'm already courting someone?"

My mother tuts. "Yes, yes, the little doctor boy."

--'boy'??

"However, it is no good to become so invested in just one potential suitor. You are years off from marriageable age yet. It's not good for you to become so attached. What if he refuses to court you after you are old enough to marry? It would break your heart. Or what if you grew apart during the years waiting, and lose interest? There are plenty of handsome, rich boys here tonight - some of them the sons of powerful men. You should get to know them all, and find yourself the most compatible suitor."

I hate the logic.

I-

It isn't bad. Even if my mother is ambitious what she's saying is sound. Except that Viktor isn't like that. He wouldn't just grow apart. He wouldn't suddenly reject me. He wouldn't-

Abruptly, the memory of my -of Adelaide's - husband flashes through my mind.

Those cold eyes.

I feel nauseous.

I...I...can't-

I have to get away. I stumble past my family, pushing blindly through the crowds of guests as I rush for the balcony, feeling trapped. I throw open the doors and gulp down the night air.

Calm down. Calm down.

That's another life. Another person. I'm not Adelaide anymore. I'm not- Viktor and I are different than...that.

My stomach is cramping and I feel dizzy.

I cling to the balcony railing, clenching my eyes shut as I try to will the memory away, to push it far from where it could even hope to sully my Viktor.

After a few moments of focusing on my breathing and the fresh, cold, scent of the summer air, I finally manage to straighten and compose myself, running my fingers over my hair to make sure my bun is in place and none of my pins fell out.

I open my eyes, and tilt my head to the stars above. The moon is in its quarter phase and shines brilliantly, its rays reflected on the pond below, sparkling in the ripples caused by the occasional breeze.

I should go back inside. I have duties to attend to. I am here as a representative of the Weideman household. I am responsible.

I exhale, and lift my head. I straighten my shoulders.

Behind me, footsteps approach. I hear a voice, quiet and soft, full of care. "Ophelia...?"

My eyes widen, and I glance back.

It's him.

There are dark circles under his eyes and he is as pale as always, but he still looks so very handsome.

I've never been more relieved to see him. I can't stop myself from launching myself at him, my arms wrapping tightly around him, my body leaning heavily on his. "V-Viktor...! Oh, thank goodness...it's you."

His arms enfold me, warm and gentle and safe, his lips pressed to my hair, comforting me without words.

I relax.

I do not have to feign it when he is here.

He holds me close until I gather the strength to pull myself free, reluctant to leave the cocoon of comfort he provides. I realize belatedly that he'd followed me because he knew I was upset. He came out to find me.

The thought is a warm, happy one.

Viktor's lips twist into a wry, apologetic smile as he puts his arm around my shoulder and leads me further along the balcony. "I'm sorry I took so long."

"W-what...? I...why are you apologizing...?"

He strokes my cheek, a tender gesture of affection. "I noticed you were upset but...it took me so long to work my way out here..." His fingers slip around the back of my head and caress my hair and scalp gently, lulling me.

"I-I'm the one who ran out. I...should've stayed calm...you don't have to be sorry, Viktor. It wasn't your fault."

Viktor chuckles. "Always so concerned for my feelings. Yet you disregard your own so readily. How cruel of you to refuse to let me shoulder my share of your worries."

He sits down on a bench by the balcony railing, and pats the spot beside him.

I settle in, resting my head on his shoulder as he pulls his arm around me to tug me closer, and we sit in silence.

His voice is a quiet rumble in his chest as he speaks. "...Do you remember the legend I told you?"

My brow furrows as I consider his words.

My head bobs in a nod.

He continues. "....that story is...very precious to me. My mother taught it to me as a child." His lips curl up into a soft smile.

"She is...she was one of those who believe the legend is historical fact. She would always tell me...the goddess who loved her man so much, she died in order to stay with him...she told me...their love was eternal. No matter how long it may take, how much time may pass. Eventually, the man will meet his goddess once more."

I...can't bring myself to speak. There's such gravity in his voice. Such importance in his words.

"My mother...believed in a love so strong that without it, one could not live without the other. A love that not even death could separate."

A love like ours.

The words hang on the tip of my tongue, but I dare not speak them. Not yet.

His voice cracks, just a little. "It's...not something I've ever believed before, but...when I see you...I begin to question it..."

He leans into me, and his forehead falls against my shoulder. "Every day...every minute I spend with you is heaven. And with the possibility that, one day...I might never see you again..." He goes silent.

He's scared.

I know that feeling.

Finally he touches my chin and lifts my face, lifting his own head in turn. His green eyes sparkle like the stars.

"...I know that my mother was right." He whispers. "A man who loves his goddess so much he'll die if he lives a moment in this world without her in it truly exists. For I...I can't imagine a future where you're not part of it."

...my heart is aching.

He traces his fingers over my cheek. "Forgive my foolishness...but I cannot imagine a world where I could live a day after you. If you were to be gone...I would be, too. My heart wouldn't be able to survive it."

I...

I don't know what to say.

I should be dancing. I should be exploding into sparkles. I should be so giddy I'm drunk. He's given me the heartfelt confession I've been hoping to hear - the one I'd read in my past life on his route so many times.

I should do something silly and erratic and gleeful as I shout to the heavens that my darling loves me, finally.

Yet all that seems to happen...are the tears falling down my face.

Viktor smiles and gently brushes my tears away with his thumb. "I've made you cry."

I shake my head vigorously and clasp his hand in my own.

"No. These aren't...no. I...am happy...truly. I was simply thinking of the same thing, and...was overwhelmed by your words. I...also don't want to be away from you."

I reach for him, sliding my arms over his shoulders and hugging him. It takes some maneuvering, but we end up with my legs thrown over his lap. He lets out a huff of laughter, his breath tickling my neck.

"Ophelia..." He murmurs my name softly. "My dearest, you should...be wary. We will look quite the sight like this. If we were found in a compromising position..."

His cheeks redden.

I shake my head. "I...don't care." I bury my face in his shirt. "Let them think whatever they want. It doesn't matter what they think."

He strokes his fingers over my back, his touch feather light as I melt into the sensation of his gentle movements.

"I...it's okay. We...have eternity, after all." I whisper, closing my eyes as I lean against him. "My beautiful star."

I know I have a lifetime, as short or as long as that might be, to spend with my darling.