It's been almost thirty years since I closed the restaurant for renovation and I was ashamed to admit that I only reopened it today.
There were many complications, like for one the birth of my daughter. I was busy changing diapers and babysitting for a while. We decided to limit our angel's powers until she was older. Even the rest of my family came by to meet their new sister, it's been a long time since I saw them all together.
Then there was the incident with Apocalypse. Initially, it didn't affect me, all that happened that day was that the earth was a bit shaky and the ships flying over my head but all that stopped when Magneto switched teams and stopped controlling every piece of metal on the planet, causing a fucking airplane carrier to be parked in my new kitchen.
Needless to say, I was pissed. I didn't just snap my fingers and make everything appear how I liked it but mostly lived like a normal being and did most of it by hand, it was still very magical and made of strange materials but that wasn't the point.
The calm my anger, I send both Sentinels to kill every single person in Cairo, mutant or not. Watching my toys work even better than intended was enough to forgive everything, even if the people responsible were already dead.
The Sentinels not only killed the X-Men and the false god but also took their powers and I have to say, Apocalypse's power enhancement worked wonders on them, they could now absorb powers and instantly enhance them to greater heights than the original.
Jean didn't make it easy for them to kill the X-Men, especially with the Phoenix, but eventually, they managed to kill her, at least for now.
The appearance of Apocalypse was already enough to shock the world but the reappearance of the Sentinels awakened an old fear, not to mention that they were now much more powerful. The older people who still remembered their terror began making a scene to finally destroy these things.
Enough about the boring world outside, I was finally getting my first customer. By the way, I just named the new place "Location-Not-Found", you will see why in a sec.
With the sound of a small bell, the door opened and a young woman came in and curiously looked around.
"How interesting, I knew my eyes weren't deceiving me." The goth said.
"Welcome to Location-Not-Found, what can I get you?"
"An interesting but at the same time fitting name, I never thought I would be able to go so far from home and still be there. What's on the menu?"
"Absolutely anything. Food, drinks, refreshments, you can also just imagine something new and I will give it to you" I smiled mischievously, a bit glad that this woman didn't seem to hold a grudge over our last encounter.
"That's a big claim, let's put it to the test, shall we? Would like a drink made of melancholy, sadness, happiness, and the circle of life." She tried to make it as hard as possible while still holding it in a line where she would enjoy the drink if I actually succeeded.
To the snow-white woman's surprise, I just pulled many strange substances out of thin air and began mixing them together. In a matter of seconds, she had a weird drink in front of her, made of black and white spots.
She wasn't too worried about what this drink might do to her and began tasting it. After the first sip, her tired eyes brightened, and began drinking the rest of her glass in just a few gulps.
"This was the best drink I ever had, I might get addicted to this but just give me a hot chocolate next."
While the old lil' lady was slurping on her chocolate, Stan came in with Rover, the pup I gifted him.
"Aw, man. You said you were opening today and I came as fast as I could after taking Rover for his walk but it seems like I was still too late. I guess the free drink for the first customer goes to the young lady?" He didn't seem too disappointed.
Despite some disagreements, like how I handled the situation in Cairo, we still were good friends or at least acquaintances on good terms. He just sat and ordered the same hot chocolate as the other guest and a puppuccino for Rover when the bell of the door rang again and a baldy in a yellow jumpsuit and red gloves walked in.
"How? This isn't a convenience store? Damn, I will miss the discount on the meat"
Here's a joke: The One Above All, Death of the Endless, and One Punch Man walk into a bar.
…
That's it, that's the joke. Just let the absurdity of the situation sink in for a moment.