I took a few minutes to put the flowers in a vase and then close the door behind me. That is how I got to the point I am at now, standing by his side in the elevator. My position grants my eyes the liberty to sneak a few peeks up at him. He has a jawline for days and contrary to what Izzy has told me, his skin isn't exactly flawless. Well, that of course, depends on one's definition of flawless. He has exactly two visible blemishes, one drawn across his neck, very close to his chin and the other on his right temple, scarcely brushing his hairline. Birthmarks, undoubtedly, ones that add very much to his charm. Now, his eyes are telling a completely new story, or at least a new chapter. It's like every bit of light in this constrained space came pouring its efforts into making the vibrant green of his eyes glisten with life. I could lose myself in them if I am not careful enough. It usually takes me less time to register details and visual clues about people. Only, I can't allow myself to treat him the same I'd treat... Say someone I'd see on the bus by pure coincidence, someone I would probably not interact with otherwise. I think it is only fair to give him his due time and consideration.
I notice that his face gradually shifts to a darker more intense shade of red. I immediately look ahead, only to be reminded that the elevator doors are highly reflective and while I can't exactly compare its surface to a mirror, I can still distinguish many things from my reflection in it. Enough to see that I wasn't as discrete as I thought I was when I was peeking up at him. My turn to blush quickly came after that. Although, I can't help but smile at how ridiculous or weird I must have looked. I think he took note of that as well, considering he's returning the smile to me.
"Sorry," I mutter, still smiling at my reflection like an idiot.
"Don't be," he says simply.
He guides me towards his car, but I speak up for the first time since we'd gotten out of the elevator, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled in between us, "Is the restaurant far from here?"
"Not really, why?" he asks.
"Would you mind if we walked there instead of driving?"
"As a matter of fact, I don't," he says simply, then he starts walking again and I follow by his side.
The night sky wore its dim coat, casting absolute obscurity upon us, leaving it to manmade lights alone to illuminate our paths. Untrue, I realize now, after gazing upwards for more than ten seconds that the moon is out. Full, round and whole. Just like the day, the nighttime came with its own beauty. Shame it counts as the time when monsters apparently come out and things go bump.
"So, Isabelle told me you were a doctor,"
I feel like an invisible hand has braved through my rib cage then lungs, just so it can pinch my heart. I grimace. I can't even be shocked at this point, "Sorry to say it like that but… She lied to you. Although I did work at the hospital, up until two months ago when I quit," I avoid eye contact with him at all costs as I speak.
He awkwardly blurts out a few letters before finally settling on a few words to share, "Really? I mean, I may have misunderstood what she said, though,"
Incredible! Instead of running for the hills, he keeps walking with me and better yet, he's actually trying to find excuses for Izzy's inexcusable behavior. I tolerate her shenanigans, it has become my second job by now. Him, on the other hand, he doesn't have to.
My pace quickens slightly, which helps my burning face, thanks to the cool air of the night that's brushing against it a little faster.
"No, you didn't misunderstand. It wasn't even a lie of omission. I am a biologist, and I don't even have a doctorate degree. So, yeah," I walk with a simple goal in mind. The one where I buy a gun at the end of the night just to shoot Izzy. I think I'll return it afterwards, she's the only reason I've ever needed a gun so far.
"Wow," he mutters.
"I know. Izzy is a menace, and I am afraid she has me in her clutches," I utter, hoping to find a hole in the ground where my head can fit.
He chuckles at my words before speaking, "No, I mean, yes, but I wouldn't really expect most people to have a doctorate degree at… 23? Is it?"
It's not exactly the point I was trying to make but hey! Smooth way to confirm my age. It's my turn to chuckle, "I am 23. I guess she didn't lie about that, at least. Don't worry about it," I pause for a moment until an idea for a joke comes to mind. Without taking a second to assess if it's a good one, I let it out, "Actually, you should worry. Did she tell you about all of the murders I have committed?"
"Is that so? Well then, you two might just be partners in crime, because she sure didn't tell me about those,"
"Yes, we're in the habit of preying on handsome, kind and funny young men…," seeing as he's playing along, I see no harm in keeping it up.
"This might just be the nicest compliment that somebody has ever given me," he says, feigning astonishment without much exaggeration.
"Well, you're welcome. But I wasn't saying it just to be nice, you know," I shift closer to him and put my hand around his arm.
He brings his hand upwards near his chest, which lifts and sustains my arm in the process. We remain silent for a moment before he decides to say something, "I can't help but feel a little ridiculous now,"
"Why is that?" I slightly furrow my eyebrows and look up at him to see his embarrassed smile.
"I wanted to compliment you as well, but I can't find a way to do it as smoothly as you just did," his eyes sway to the other side as he speaks.
Unable to hold my laugh, I burst into a fit of giggles.
"No, I swear. I had an entire plan to schmooze you tonight, but you buttered me up before I could make a move and now… I am slipping,"
"Well, thank you for the compliment nonetheless," I say once I manage to stop laughing after many failed attempts to regain my composure, "But if it makes you feel less ridiculous, I wasn't aware I had a date tonight until… Earlier this morning," I say with a look that begs for sympathy. The heaters in my cheeks are up and running again.
"Oh wow! Boundaries isn't her middle name, is it?"
"No, it really isn't. Anyways," I swallow before continuing, "I actually graduated high school at 14. I was… In a class for the gifted and the program allowed me to skip two years and thus I was able to graduate two years earlier than my peers," I nod my head slightly as I speak and realize that my cheeks are still feeling fairly warm. I take it upon myself to repair the damage that Izzy has caused with her stupid lie. The date could've been over before it even began but… He still gave me a chance and I am a taker for it.
"That's really impressive," he comments.
"Yeah, so, I… got my bachelor's degree at 18. That was when I took an internship at the hospital and they decided to keep me while I completed my master's degree. But I stopped there. No, doctorate degree," I pause for a moment and then I add, "I've been working at Grimesbrook hospital since then… Until, I quit about two months ago,"
He doesn't immediately say anything. I assume he deliberated his options first. He then takes a somewhat deep breath and asks, "Would I be crossing a line if I asked why you quit?"
"Well, I was very passionate about my job. Actually, according to Izzy, I was completely obsessed with it. Working in a hospital lab, people's lives depended on me even though I didn't interact directly with the patients. But naturally, a mistake could be fatal...," I don't think I have the necessary strength to spill what I need to say out, and I am praying to whatever deity would listen that he will get the memo.
"Oh... I understand. I am really sorry, I didn't mean to make any… Traumatic experience you had, resurface,"
"You opened pandora's box, now you have to deal with it," I chuckle, "But I am not the one you should pity, my… trauma is nothing next to the one I caused the people I hurt with my mistake,"
He does seem genuinely sorry, even though I just met him and technically, I don't know what that looks like on him. Nevertheless, I chose to answer his question sincerely when I could've and should've avoided it all together. Now, that I soured the mood, the burden to set things back on track falls on my shoulders.
"You're not from here, Nathanel. Are you?" I ask.
"That's correct. My family is from Eldersville, northwest of New Hampshire. Is it that obvious that I am not from here? I mean, Grimesbrook isn't really that small of a town so, how can you tell?"
"Yeah, you stick out like a sore thumb," the look on his face at my response squeezes a small laugh out of me, "No, you're right. Grimesbrook is not that small and it can be impossible for someone to know everyone here by name. It's just that working at the hospital, I know at least the majority of families here by their last names and Izzy does as well,"
Now that's a big fat lie if I ever told one. Sure, the last part was true but the part where I said that it was impossible for someone to know everyone in town, now that! I pulled right out of my ass. With the exception of newborns, I can put a name on almost every face I've laid eyes on since we've exited the apartment building. Learning the names and faces of every citizen residing in Grimesbook by heart, is a bit of an old habit of mine that I still refuse to leave behind. But since it doesn't interfere with my daily life, I just see no reason to let it die. And I honestly don't see the need to tell him about this. Not now, at the very least, not when he already has reasons to think I am a weirdo after what Izzy has done.
I set my eyes free to travel around and about only for them to land on "Yellow trees" playground. From where I stand, I am able to see the pair of empty swings, dancing to the rhythm of the tame winds, in the very back corner of the playground. After all these years, all it takes from me is one look at those damned swings to throw me down a spiral, all over again. "Yellow trees" playground is the biggest public playground here in Grimesbrook. I spent a lot of time here in my childhood years.
Looking up, again, at the battered wooden banner above the entry, I can taste the lingering bittersweet feelings clogging my windpipes little by little, pressing upwards in the back of my throat, begging to be released as my eyes refuse to let go of the scene. I can only taste the bitter part though. I am still waiting for the sweet one. One that will certainly never come, all the while hoping Nathanael wouldn't notice.
"Is everything alright? You seem a little tense all of the sudden," he says.
Well, shit on a stick, I guess.