"Grandpa, what will I do when I have a very hard problem I can not solve?"
A young prince with flowing golden hair and tourmaline eyes asks his grandpa, The Sage of Time, The Wise Emperor.
"Li-er, every problem is a question and every question has an answer."
The grandpa smiles to the young prince and beckons him to look at a faraway mountain.
"My child, look at that mountain. Answering a question is like climbing that mountain. You will start at the valley of ignorance and work your way up to the peak of enlightenment.
"To climb the mountain, you need to persevere, be patient, and most importantly take care to not lose that burning curiousity. What will I see when I reach the top? How cold will it be? What will it feel like? That fire, my child, will be your light.
"Do not be afraid to fall.
Do not be afraid to start again and again.
Do not, be afraid of failure.
As long as you and that fire is still alive, you will be able to reach the peak.
"Listen. Do not forget this trick. Great climbers learn from the mistakes of others and themselves. Look at the paths of those who have seeked the same question as yours. Build upon their ways, learn from their success, and avoid their mistakes. But do not just follow blindly, have the freedom to carve your own path.
"Ultimately, this is your own question to solve. You can learn from others, but be careful of using them. For the answers they seek might not be the same as yours."
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Wait a minute, I just realized that I haven't got my pants on! My mighty excalibur is dangling like crazy.
I first need to wash my ass and then put on my pants. Curiously, I am now not in the mood to barf brown goo with my ass. Truly a lucky unfortunate coincidence.
With a bit of soap and some shampoo, I have cleaned it without a speck. Why is there a shampoo? Are you stupid? Of course you use shampoo when there's a hair! My dumb friends ask me this when we are camping as boy scouts, but who are they to question me when they don't even understand the bare minimum of hygiene.
Sigh, common sense is not so common after all.
I put the bidet back to its place and prepare to leave the restroom, but not without looking back at that surreal toilet bowl.
I first need to take a good sleep before I tackle this. I might have been too tired today and having psychedelic hallucinations.
For I still can't believe it. For platonic god's sake, I have a toilet bowl that does not follow the laws of physics!
If there is a world beyond my toilet, I'm pretty sure its size already surpassed the Schwarzschild radius considering the humongous mass of a whole freaking forest inside it! It's an anomaly that it didn't turn into a blackhole.
This must be evidence that this toilet bowl portal is pretty much detached from the laws of physics of this universe I am in.
Aagh, can't help it! My curiousity is killing me! Besides, I can't just leave a portal in my toilet bowl. If someone else discovers it, then I am doomed. The government will take this away from me. World War III might even be triggered because of this ridiculous portal in my toilet bowl. Just imagine the billions of people who will be killed. Yes, this is not just satisfying my curiousity. I am also saving the world!
I wonder why in the novels I had read, no protagonist ever conducted the scientific method to test the strange things that are appearing before them. Why wouldn't they? There might be loopholes that might save their ass in the future, thus preventing them from relying too much on their plot armor and the power of love and frienship.
What is it again? I had forgotten what my teacher taught me. Ah! I remember now! We first need to observe this damn thing! All natural sciences come first from observation.
What does it look like? A plain old white toilet bowl with a portal on top. This portal is like a bubble film covering the rim. I can see a whole new world from the portal in my toilet.
What does it smell like? Sniff! It smells like shit! Na, kidding. It smells fine, but with a little bit of pungent ammonia and cleaning agent.
What does it feels like? The exterior of the toilet bowl is smooth as a lady's porcelain arms, not that I have ever touched one. Alright, maybe just one time, but it's just an accident. I am still a proud member of the No Girlfriend Since Birth club.
Wait, do I put my hands inside the toilet bowl portal? Nah, too dangerous. Although I had tested that the soap is fine even after passing through that mysterious film, I haven't tested living beings yet. Na Ah, gonna pass from this one.
What does it tastes like? That's an interesting question. Lick, Slurp. So bitter. It tastes like metal with a dash of salt. I would not recommend this for others, because tasting a toilet bowl is obviously a health hazard. However, I'm the type of person who does not care about minor stuff like that especially if it's for science. As they say, Health is Wealth, but if you have enough Wealth why care about Health.
Testing it using my senses is done.
Now, let's move on to the practical stuff. I.e., throwing stuff into the toilet bowl.
First off, I need a living object. Ants will do. Cockroaches, bugs, rats, any small insect or animals will do. But where can I find them? Sometimes, I regret that I am too hygienic to a fault. I might have sound a bit hypocritical, but it's for science that last time so it's different.
Personally, I made it my living code to not have a living being inside my room except for me. Every single one is killed and incinerated. Even the landlord can't go in. She knows what will happen. As they say, Experience is the best teacher. In that regard, I can be considered a professor.
Why not a bit of blood? I have a test tube, a needle, a syringe, and even a tweezer in my fridge. I hope nobody asks me why, but I know that if someone knows then they would never ever be able to know again.
I went out the restroom and walked to my fridge. The syringe and test tube are neatly arranged below piles of meat. It's a given that I need to take care of my tools.
This won't take a minute.
Aagh! Shit! Is this syringe even sterilized? I got a tad bit too excited there. I should not have plunged it in the vein of my left arm without warning. I am really amazed by how stupid I am when I get too excited.
Nothing I can do about that. I just suck the blood hereeee and done! Blood sample acquired!
Time to go back to the restroom.
"Hello, Mr. Toilet Portal, want to have some of my blood? Hmmm. Of course you do! Here! Take it all!"
I threw the blood including the syringe into the portal. Of course I won't let it just fall down. I tied it up with floss. This would make sure that I can retrieve the sample after it is submerged in this surreal world. I also made sure to get half of the blood from the syringe into a test tube. I will not throw the test tube in the toilet, so I can compare the syringe's blood with the test tube blood and see if there's any difference.
Let's wait for 3 minutes.
It feels like I am fishing with the syringe as my bait and the toilet bowl as the ocean. I am feeling ice fishing vibes from this.
Alright, times up. My brain clock says so, so I'll reel this syringe out.
Upon grabbing the syringe, I poured the blood into another test tube.
I then compared test tube A, the one I kept, and test tube B, the one I threw in the toilet.
Visual inspection says they are pretty similar.
Smell is also similar.
How about taste? This is getting pretty disgusting, so I will pass on this one. It's not everyday that I am too excited to become uncivilized.
But just in case there's something. I carefully drop a blood into my mouth for each test tube and carefully examine it's taste.
What?!
It's the same. Such a bummer.
My blood is a living object composed of tiny living blood cells. We can prove therefore, that my blood is not affected by the mysterious other world.
I need a microscope to verify this, but I do not have one of those. Who in their right mind have a microscope in their house!
Living beings, check. I can then proceed to human experimentation. If I have one concern, that is not seeing a difference in color between test tube A and B. I expect A to be a bit redder because I assume that the other world has high concentrations of oxygen because of its giant animals. I'm probably wrong.
Aight, human experimentation that is. No one succeeds without taking risks. At least I verified that a small living cell can pass through unharmed.
Time to dive in!
{ROARRRRRR!!!!!!}
Holy freaking giant lizard!
That's a freaking T-Rex! Why is there a wild T-Rex in my toilet?!!!!