Chapter 7 - Elves

[So, what is this?]

I connected the monitor to my toilet bowl by putting a camera inside it, so I no longer need to go to the restroom every time.

[Disgusting.]

Agreed, but disgust is relative. Dung beetles will disagree with you on this matter.

[And what is that? Why is it moving?]

Oh, that's the drone's camera. Alpha is connected wirelessly from the toilet to my desktop with two relays in between to ensure no dead spots. I also made sure to utilize most of the EM spectrum to maximize bandwidth and I also implemented a highly rubust error-correction algorithm. This will make sure that I will receive high quality footage with no noise.

[What is that?]

What are you pointing at? Also, don't bother me too much. Reconaissance is a very important step in my plan for world domination.

[No, that leaf moved.]

What are you talking about? Hmph, alright. I will run motion detection just to be sure. This will generate a heatmap by comparing the relative position of pixels between frames.

See? Nothing special. Wait?!!! Is that human-shaped?

Zwuuushhh! Bzzzst!

{Signal Disconnected}

What the hell? What happened?

"Damn this! I will check Alpha's status."

{

Drone Status Board

Critical Failure: Downed by Impact. Suggested retrieval of drone and damage assessment.

Controller Board: Damaged

Battery: OK

Speed Sensor: OK

Altitude Sensor: OK

Geolocation Sensor: OK

Gyroscope: OK

Camera: Damaged

Gimbal: Damaged

Frame: Damaged

Motor1: OK

Motor2: Damaged

Motor3: OK

Motor4: OK

}

It-it's over. I can no longer receive visual input from the drone and because the controller board is damaged it is now impossible to remotely retrieve it. I can only get its position, orientation, speed, and altitude which are all useless.

[I'm just saying, it's not my fault.]

Why would I blame you? Hey, System, can you do anything?

[Yes, I can do absolutely nothing. If you are asking me to interfere with U-4273, then that's impossible. I have already used up most of my energy in opening that space rift.]

Do not play games with me. You have the ability to arrange demolition crews, how is it not possible to retrieve a single drone?

[I know you have a grudge against me, but it's also for your own good. If you die prematurely, then everything will go down the drain.]

You still haven't answered my question. How is it possible you can interfere in this world, but not in that world?

[Efficiency. I am here in your universe that's why bending 4D membranes here are easier. Interfering with U-4273 remotely will involve crossing the fifth dimension and that operation costs enormous energy. It's like you are asking me to reopen another space rift. That's clearly more expensive. But if I am in U-4273, then it is possible.]

So, I need to go down there huh.

[Exactly.]

Sigh, that's 10 grand down the drain.

[Pft. That's literally what happened.]

Stop it. I am already irked by the fact that Alpha is dead, but even you are adding to my mental burden.

What are you really?

[Like I said, I am a General Intelligence created to help universes develop faster. My task is to guide you, my host, to develop both your universe and U-4273.]

Why?

[I don't understand. This is clearly a beneficial proposition for you. The question why is irrelevant. However, if I would make an answer, it will be because my creators found it beneficial to have highly develop universes. Also, a word of advice, you will not get anything more from me as I am as clueless as you are aside from my duties.]